by Poppy Flynn
She knew she was in danger of falling apart if she didn't lean on someone right now, and in some ways, she was almost grateful that it was someone who didn't know her well enough to ask a lot of questions or nudge at her with probing scrutiny. With Connor, she could just relax and quiet her agitated mind, using his strength to recoup her own.
Still, the care he heaped very generously on her seemed so starkly at odds with the callous way in which he had treated Laurel that Charlotte had trouble reconciling the two. So much so that she couldn't help stealing the odd glance at him, and she knew he caught the odd frown that crinkled her brow as she tried to resolve her misgivings.
Finally, Connor sighed. "What is it, pet?" he rumbled.
"It's not my place to say," Charlotte replied, hastily lowering her gaze, mindful of the respect Micah always said she should grant the other Doms as part of the club's protocols.
"Might as well get it off your chest, little one. It's causing you enough of a dilemma as far as I can see."
Charlotte bit her lip, wondering how to phrase things so it didn't come over as an outright criticism. "You seem very compassionate and considerate," she hedged. "You're taking time out of your evening here to look after me, even though you barely know me. Even though we've never played together…" She paused, collecting her thoughts. "And you're taking that care seriously. Not just going through the motions as it were."
"I'm glad you believe that, pet. I'm happy to take care of you. I consider it a privilege. But I think that's not everything you wanted to say me," he said astutely.
"I'm trying to understand the contradiction between the way you've looked after me and the way you treated Fluff," Charlotte said in a rush, hoping she hadn't overstepped the mark.
Connor was quiet for what seemed like an age and Charlotte wondered if she had offended him. Finally, he spoke. "Thank you little one. Sometimes, it takes someone who is brave enough to speak their mind to remind us Doms that we have a duty of care that goes above and beyond any personal dilemmas we might encounter."
Charlotte was nonplussed. This was not how she had expected this conversation to go, and now she didn't know quite what to say. Connor had continued to soothe her throughout their exchange, never once retracting his attention, regardless of what she said.
Thankfully, Micah and Jake made a timely return and she watched as they strode across the room, conscious for the first time of the coveting eyes that followed their progress. Not that she'd ever been in this position with Jake before, of course, but she was mildly surprised that she'd never picked up on it with Micah in the past since it seemed so obvious now. She wondered if it was because she'd never truly lusted after Micah in the same way she had Jake and had, therefore, been oblivious to the way other women viewed him.
Her contemplation was cut short when the two men in question drew alongside and flanked her, before Connor helped her to sit and Micah took the seat next to her while Jake stood casually in front of them all.
"I appreciate you watching out for her, Connor." Micah smiled at his other boss as Charlotte settled herself trustingly against him. He was aware this time of the subtle rigidity in her body and knew it was because she was silently responding to Jake's presence, even though she hadn't acknowledged him in any way so far.
Charlotte turned a beaming smile on Connor. "Yes, thank you, Master Connor," she emphasised his gratitude with her own.
Connor took her hands in his. "No, thank you, pet," he returned, leaning over to place an almost chaste, but lingering, kiss on her lips which, Micah noted, had Jake glowering all over again. Micah wasn't completely successful in stifling his laugh, though he tried to mask it as a cough. Still, the sound caught Connor's attention as he stood and caused him to notice Jake's reaction, too. Looking from his friend, then back to Cha-Cha, Micah watched with amusement when Connor did a double take and he saw the moment recognition and realisation dawned on the big man.
Scrutinising Charlotte closely, then shaking his head at Jake, Connor simply murmured, "Of course," before he straightened and slapped Jake on the back as he took his leave.
As he walked away, Jake took the opportunity to claim the vacated seat on the other side of Charlotte. She looked at him inscrutably but said nothing as Micah took her hand and drew her attention back to him. As much as Jake might resent the fact, neither of them had asked him to leave, so he could take that as one small positive, at least.
Charlotte sat quietly in the chair, not sure quite how to react to Jake's presence, so choosing to simply overlook it, instead. If in doubt, bury your head in the sand. That approach was working well for her right now. She figured the Doms would make it clear what was expected of her, in that assertive Dom way of theirs, before she had to worry about forming any kind of response. Yes, there were definitely certain benefits to this dutiful submissive state, and for the moment, Charlotte planned to use every one of them to her advantage.
Keeping her head down, she did nothing to acknowledge Jake. The lack of pressure calmed her. The reality that she could let someone else be in control, if only for a short time, was a huge relief. In this place, in her submissive role, she could be free of her worries, let go of her responsibilities and allow others to deal with the realities.
Liberated from all those anxieties, Charlotte allowed her mind to ease and still. Permitting someone else to shoulder any obligations brought her to a serene, almost meditative, peace of mind which allowed all the tribulations of the evening to just drift away.
It was an indescribable freedom to be able to relinquish control. Something almost unimaginable to Charlotte, a girl who had once been deprived of liberty in the greedy manipulation of control, who grew to fear the restriction of control and yet still struggled with the responsibility of finally achieving the control so long denied.
Charlotte knew she was a contradiction, a paradox, but in this lifestyle, she finally found tranquillity and emancipation.
Micah settled back into the seat and put his arm around Charlotte's shoulders, pulling her close. She was happy to lean in and replace the fortifying strength Connor had unconditionally offered, with the dependable familiarity of Micah's nurturing care. Especially if it meant that she didn't have to face dealing with Jake for a little longer.
Micah tucked Charlotte in close beside him, caressing her bare arm with his fingers and stoically ignoring Jake's disgruntled attitude. The man might have remained silent and attempted to keep his features blank, but his body language was so tense, he may as well be bellowing his discontent.
Whatever, Jake might be his friend and his boss, but right now, Micah's priority was to Charlotte, his submissive.
His submissive, and damned if Micah didn't realise just how much that fact, alone, was grating on Jake.
"How are you holding up, sweet pea?" Micah queried, taking hold of one of Charlotte's hands and rubbing his calloused thumb across the fragile skin at her wrist in order to keep a check on her pulse. She seemed a lot calmer than Micah had expected under the circumstances, but it didn't pay to rely on assumptions.
"I'm all right, thank you." Charlotte's voice was steady, despite being quiet.
"I'm sorry you had to get caught up in all that. Especially with as reticent as you were to be out on the floor on your own. But I hope you understand just how uncommon this kind of incident actually is."
"I really am okay," she assured. "More angry, now, than anything else, if I'm honest."
"Do you want to cut the evening short; I can take you home if that's what you need?"
Charlotte considered Micah's offer. If she left now, no one would think any the worse of her and she could avoid having to deal with Jake…until the next time.
But there was the strong possibility that she would be the one to think worse of herself, since she'd really only be running away. Not from what had happened here tonight, but from her feelings and her confusion over Jake. And that would just make her a hypocrite, make a mockery of the principled words she liked to think and s
peak, when what she really needed to do was to put that testimony into action.
It was all very well to talk the good talk; none of it really meant anything if she never turned that talk into action. Plus, her own conscience would be the one voice she would never be able to get away from.
And, damn it, she liked this lifestyle. She wasn't going to let Jake Blackwood run her off from the one thing that had brought the most peace and contentment into her life.
Steeling herself, Charlotte made her decision. "No, I'm through with allowing others to dictate how I live my life. I'm not prepared to let anyone else's actions coerce my decisions any longer."
"I'm pleased to hear that." Micah smiled, grasping Charlotte around the waist and easily manoeuvring her so that she straddled his knees. "Because Master Jake, here, has also had a pretty difficult day and is looking for a willing sub to help him work off his stress with a good whip session…and I thought you would be the perfect sub for him."
Chapter 10
Charlotte couldn't prevent the soft, indrawn breath as Micah's words sank in.
Micah gave her a reassuring squeeze, his big hands almost spanning her tiny waist, then drifting down to hold her steady at the hip. "What do you say, babe? Do you think you can help him out?"
Charlotte released the breath she didn't realise she'd been holding and lifted her head to look Micah in the eye. "You know!" she accused quietly so Jake wouldn't hear, her arms coming up to settle on his shoulders.
Micah raised one eyebrow and gave her a lopsided grin. "If you mean I know that Jake, here, is the guy who whetted your appetite about the lifestyle and that you two obviously have some kind of history, then I'd have to admit to working on pure conjecture," he qualified. "But since I laid my supposition down in front of Jake and he didn't deny my conclusions, and add that to your little accusation, then I'm guessing I was pretty accurate in my assumptions," he replied smugly as he nuzzled her ear. "However, I don't know any details and I don't know if you have any objection to where this is headed," he added seriously, tilting her chin to get a better read on her. "But the decision is all yours, remember. You are the one in control."
Charlotte's palms drifted to Micah's massive chest and she rested her forehead against his as his hands came up to frame her face. His words bolstered her confidence, but she was far from certain. "It's true that Jake and I had a…'thing,' but he walked away because I wasn't experienced in this lifestyle and he wasn't prepared to make that introduction," she sighed. "I admit that it got me curious but, when I decided to try this for myself, I never expected to see him again." She peeked at him over Micah's shoulder. "It's a bit awkward and I don't know how I feel about it," she whispered. "I feel like…now that I'm here in his world, I'm finally good enough for him to bother with, when before, I wasn't, and that kinda grates."
Jake caught her surreptitious look and captured her gaze for a moment, his blue eyes seizing hers with a fiery intensity that made her shudder while her nipples peaked and her core clenched.
The reaction didn't go unnoticed and Micah chuckled. "I'd say your body knows exactly how it feels about it. Your mind just hasn't quite caught up yet. Why don't you forget everything that has gone before and just consider things in terms of a single scene that you can both enjoy, nothing more?" he suggested. "This would be an excellent step for you. Think of it in a more positive light; you need to start getting comfortable with the idea of playing with other Doms. Look at this as the ideal opportunity to broaden your horizons in that respect, without having to resort to playing with a complete stranger."
Micah kissed her on the nose. "The great benefit of scening, for real, is that everything is negotiated, and each party knows exactly where they stand, unlike a conventional relationship when sometimes one party or the other does something unexpected and maybe not so welcome."
"If I scene with Jake, what happens to our contract?" Charlotte wanted to know as she distractedly ran her fingers through Micah's chest hair.
Micah caught her hand in his and kissed her fingers. "Our contract remains intact until its next review date, unless you want to change it," Micah assured. "Until then, you will still be my sub; I will simply be granting another Dom the right to play with you, but only on your terms."
Put that way, the prospect didn't seem quite so daunting. Maybe this was something she could do, after all. Perhaps it might even be a way in which she could work Jake Blackwood out of her system, just like he'd done with her. A negotiated scene, with no strings attached.
"So, what do you say?" Micah pressed. "Are you up to this, or not?"
The indirect challenge in his voice had the desired effect and, immediately, Charlotte's back went up at the subtle implication that she might let this beat her. Oh, hell no! She wasn't having that.
Determination in her eyes, Charlotte took a slow, deliberate look at Jake, then turned her gaze back to Micah. "Yes," was all she said.
Jake sat down next to Micah and tried his best to keep his features blank as he watched his friend pull the only woman who had truly snagged his interest in months to sit astride his lap. He was mildly surprised at the effort it took. For the past year or so, the shine on everything in his life seemed to have dulled and Charlotte Chapman was the only thing in recent memory that had happened to brighten it. But even that hadn't been enough to take a chance with her. He had walked away, certain that he was doing the right thing, convinced that she would never fit into a lifestyle he had sacrificed too much of his life over to ever turn his back on.
Seeing her in his world was pretty surreal and was kind of doing his head in. Seeing her in the way he'd secretly ached to was causing his good sense to short circuit. And seeing her as a submissive to another Dom was quietly tearing him apart. It took every ounce of control to keep his hands from forming a white knuckled fist, to stop himself from wrenching her out of Micah's grasp and proclaiming her as his own like some kind of caveman. That simply wasn't the way things were done in these circles. Everything here was carefully navigated and meticulously negotiated. For all of the ignorant populace's mistaken idea that BDSM was all about drunken orgies and immoral, licentious sex, nothing could actually be further from the truth.
Charlotte's submission was breathtaking. Her comfortable acceptance and graceful compliance in her interactions with Micah were beautiful to watch. But at the same time, envy darkened his temperament and jealousy ate at his usually cheerful disposition, goading him to snatch Charlotte away and hide her from all other eyes so that she was his and his alone.
Damn, maybe being here while she was and pushing Micah to let her scene with him wasn't the best idea, after all. He was thinking crazy, irrational thoughts that were completely out of character, and following down that path was never going to be a sensible thing.
He'd almost found the resolve to stand up and walk away when Charlotte threw him a coy look from beneath her lashes. He faced her full on and held her gaze, hardening painfully as he watched her pupils dilate and her nipples peak.
Breaking the contact, she spoke earnestly to Micah again for a few more minutes, and instead of getting up and leaving, Jake found himself waiting on tenterhooks for the outcome of their exchange.
Finally, Charlotte turned her eyes on him with frank assessment and Jake knew she had made her decision, though for the life of him, he couldn't predict which way it had gone.
After a long moment, Micah made several hand gestures, and a second later, Charlotte uncurled from his lap, took a step towards Jake and then dropped gracefully to her knees, thighs spread, head lowered, palms up in a typical gorean pose, right at his feet.
Jake let out the breath he hadn't realised he was holding and was surprised anew when Micah rose and addressed him.
"The negotiations are yours," he advised, nodding to Jake before he strode away.
Jake stared after him, momentarily speechless. He had expected nothing less than for Micah to have negotiated on her behalf, to have verified everything twice and to have superv
ised the scene personally.
Charlotte hoped she had done the right thing by telling Micah that she would negotiate a scene with Jake for herself. Micah had been pleased. He saw it as a step in the right direction, that she was taking the initiative. In truth, if it had been anyone but Jake, Charlotte would have preferred Micah to direct the discussions for her, but since it was Jake, she found the thought of Micah consulting with him over her pleasure just too weird to contemplate.
Right now, she was content to just kneel at his feet. Jake wasn't hurrying, but she was grateful for that since it gave her time to compose herself.
Charlotte didn't know just how long they sat there in silence. She was happy to keep her head down and wait. Then Jake rested his hand gently on top of her head, a motion she'd seen and even received many times. Except, with Jake, it somehow felt like more and she couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine at how very right this seemed.
She closed her eyes at the feeling of contentment that engulfed her at that one simple gesture and couldn't help but wonder if this had been her subliminal desire all along. When she decided to pursue this lifestyle, had she really been doing it for herself or had it actually been a subconscious effort to please Jake?