“My mind fills with too many memories when I’m there,” she responded through her teeth.
Thank God. I hope you’re thinking of me.
I widened my eyes. “And that’s a bad thing?”
She glanced up and nodded her head. “Yeah. It sure is.”
Her eyes were glassy and it appeared she was on the verge of crying. Even though it had been a little more than a week, I considered the possibility of her not being quite over the loss of her mother. Sam was always a strong woman, and one thing I always admired was her ability to roll with the punches so to speak. Growing up, it seemed regardless of what life tossed at her, she was able to accept it as being, and simply move on. Her mother’s death may have been more difficult for her, and I began to feel insensitive for pushing her about the home.
She shifted her eyes to the ceiling. After a moment, she fixed her eyes on mine and sat down on the couch.
“Sit,” she said in a half demanding tone as she patted the cushion beside her.
I sat down, feeling selfish for acting the way I had acted. As I attempted to mentally form an apology worth offering, she began to speak.
“You know, it’s tougher than I thought. Much tougher. I was in the kitchen tonight looking out in the back yard. It’s changed a lot, but just seeing it is tough,” she said.
I nodded my head. “I’m sorry Sam, I imagine it is.”
I considered how I might feel if I lost my mother; and how seeing the things she loved and cherished - after she had passed away - would affect me. As she bit her lower lip and glanced around the room, I contemplated losing both my parents and how having no one might cause me to react. As my sorrow for Sam’s loss began to peak, I once again felt like a selfish idiot.
“Sam, I’m…”
She raised her hand between us to silence me as she inhaled an audible breath. I crossed my arms and leaned into the back of the couch, prepared for her ridicule.
“You know the guy I married? Michael? I really didn’t even know him. Not really. I met him at the gym. He was really tall, muscular, and he had a tattoo on his bicep I’m sure he must have got as a result of some stupid college bet. But he was as close as I could get. He reminded me of you, Steve. When I looked at him, I saw you. But when he spoke or acted, he wasn’t you. It wasn’t long and I realized no one could be. After a while, I realized the kids, having a family…all of that…it wasn’t important. What I wanted wasn’t a family, kids, or him for that matter, what I wanted was a sense of security in having you.” She threw her hands in the air as if making the determination was a huge revelation.
Okay, that wasn’t what I expected.
“When he died, I hate to say this, but it’s true. You’re the first person I’ve said anything to about this…” She paused as her voice began to fill with emotion. “When they announced what happened, after the terrorists flew the planes into the buildings, and they were collapsing.”
She swallowed heavily. After a moment of staring at the ceiling and attempting to steady her breathing, she continued. “I hoped…I wanted…”
She shook her head as she bit into her lower lip. After a long and rather awkward silence, she stared down at the floor and continued. “When I got the word that he was dead, I was relieved. I know it sounds morbid and selfish or whatever, especially to everyone else who lost someone in the tragedy, but for me? I was relieved.”
In some respects, the world we live in had just shrunk into a very personal sized ball. To think she had lost someone in what I assumed to be the terrorist act of 9/11 made the terrorist act much more real. Even though, I sat and stared, shocked by the statement she had made.
“I was relieved he was gone, because it would allow me to move on and live my life with the memories of you without feeling guilty for doing so. I’ve never got over losing you, Steve, and I’m pretty damn sure I never will,” she said as she turned toward me.
What?
As somber as the mood had become, I felt there were many things I should have said in an effort to comfort her for the loss of her husband. My excitement after hearing her more recent statement made regarding never getting over losing me prevented me from saying what I should have, and caused me to say what I was actually thinking.
“You’ve never got over losing me?” I snapped back as I sat up in my seat.
She shook her head from side to side as she wiped her eyes with the tips of her fingers.
“No, and I’m afraid I never will. It’s really hard seeing you again,” she blubbered.
Fuck it, we’re both adults.
I’m thinking you’re feeling the same way I am.
“Sam,” I said as I slowly stood.
She wiped her tear filled eyes. After what seemed like an eternity, she shifted her gaze upward.
“Yeah,” she breathed.
Here we go.
“I love you, Sam,” I said as I opened my arms.
She sat for a split-second and stared with wide eyes.
Bad idea.
You should have kept your mouth shut, Otis.
She stood, screeched like she’d just seen a snake, and jumped into my arms.
“Oh God, I love you, too. I never stopped loving you. I tried…I tried to change the way I felt, but…I couldn’t…” she whispered into the side of my neck.
How quickly a person’s life can change...
One simple statement or event can flip your life into a completely different direction. No differently than Jack being released from prison, or the bikers in Waco who were thrown in jail for being in a bar at the wrong time, holding Sam in my arms made an immediate and unscheduled change in my life. A change for what I assumed would be the better, but a change nonetheless. As I held her in my arms, a rush of memories filled my mind, and I quickly came to realize one thing for absolute certain.
I wasn’t ever going to let her escape my grasp again.
Chapter Ninety-Two
SAM
My entire life away from Steve, I had one desire and one desire only.
To be with him again.
Under the assumption I had lost him for good, and certain a man as attractive as him would have easily had women tossing themselves in his direction, I preserved what little remaining dignity I had by not exposing myself to him in the years which had passed since we were apart. Now, finding out we shared the same feelings over the years caused me to feel as if we had never been apart.
“No, as soon as I’d meet a woman, I would compare her to you. They never measured up so I couldn’t see wasting my time - or theirs for that matter,” he said.
Shocked, but quite relieved, I suddenly began to itch all over.
“And you’ve pretty much been single? Since we broke up?” I said.
“Yep,” he said as he nodded his head. “You know how I am about trusting people. I feel like I can’t really trust just anyone now. That was another excuse I used.”
Steve was a very tall man. I had always perceived myself as being tall for a woman, and stood 5’-7”, but standing beside him made me feel small. The fact he towered almost twelve inches over me not only made me feel secure in his presence, but for some weird reason it excited me to no end. As I stood and absorbed just how large of a man he had become, I admired his handsome looks.
And I couldn’t help myself.
“So, you’ve loved me since then? Since I left?” I asked as I shifted my eyes toward the crotch of his jeans.
Still rocking that big bulge, aren’t you?
“I never stopped, Sam. I’ve always loved you. Felt kind of stupid for ever being so selfish that I let you go,” he said.
You felt selfish?
I felt selfish.
But I’ll let you keep on feeling like it was your fault.
“So it’s kind of like we’ve never been apart,” I said as I shrugged my shoulders.
He nodded his head and grinned. “Yep.”
“I want to fuck,” I said flatly.
His eyes widened considerably
. He raised his hands to his face and began to rub his temples, a strong sign he was either considering my request, or for some reason the thought of fucking me had become repulsive. I didn’t have to wait long to find out which one he was thinking.
“Right now?” he said as he lowered his hands.
“Now? No not here,” I responded as if I clearly had other plans.
“Follow me,” I said as I turned toward the door.
I stepped past him and opened the door. As he stood and gawked at me, I glanced down the empty hallway, reached for his hand, and began walking toward the elevator. As he followed behind me, he chuckled.
“Where are we going, Sam?” he asked as we walked down the hallway.
I silently walked to the elevator and pressed the button. As we stepped inside, he glanced in my direction and simply shook his head.
“It’s a surprise,” I responded as I inhaled a whiff of his scent.
Still wearing Acqua Di Gio.
Good.
1996, the year we graduated high school, Acqua Di Gio was introduced. I loved the smell, and purchased a bottle for him at the mall for his birthday. While we were together, he never wore any other cologne to the best of my knowledge. It had become his signature scent, and every time I smelled it since, I thought of him. Now, smelling a faint hint of it excited me.
Within a few seconds my pussy began to tingle.
The elevator door opened at the first floor. After glancing down the hallway in each direction, I eagerly began walking toward the indoor swimming area. The indoor pool was separated from the adjoining workout room by a glass wall which was mirrored on the side of the gym. From the pool, a person could see inside the gym, but from the gym, a person attempting to look out at the pool saw nothing but their reflection. The remaining three walls in the pool room were constructed of brick, making it virtually soundproof. Although the lights weren’t on, the glow from the hallway entry and the door leading outside illuminated the area more than enough to provide a sexy luminescent lighting perfect for a late night fuck.
I pulled my room keycard from the pocket of my shorts and pressed it into the card reader. Eagerly, I opened the door which led to the pool, pleasantly surprised to find no one inside. The room was hot, humid, and thick with the smell of chlorine. My joy multiplied tenfold when I glanced toward the gym and noticed a couple getting in their late-night workout.
“What are we doing, Sam?” he asked as he glanced around the room. “I don’t have my swimming trunks.”
“You’re going to fuck me, Otis,” I said as I cleared the towels from the top of the glass table positioned between the edge of the pool and the glass wall.
Through the one-way glass, I could clearly see the two people inside the gym on elliptical machines, working away while listening to their iPods. The thought of Otis not knowing they couldn’t see us excited me almost as much as me imagining they could.
“Right here? There’s people in the gym, Sam,” he responded.
I shrugged as I unbuttoned my shorts. “Lose your sense of adventure?”
As he glanced toward the gym the side of his mouth curled into s light smirk. As he reached for his zipper he responded. “No, I sure as fuck didn’t.”
Although he had always been in great physical shape, his arms were not only now covered in tattoos to his wrists, but they were solid muscle from his forearm to his shoulder. His unbuttoned leather vest exposed his massive chest covered only by a sheer white tee shirt he wore underneath his vest. As he pulled against his zipper, I watched intently as the muscles in his bicep flared.
I glanced down and gazed at his zipper as I waited for him to pull his cock out. I’d seen it a million times, but I stood in wait, wanting to catch a glimpse of it, hoping nothing had changed. Not having been with a man for over a decade, and never having had sex with anyone as old as myself, I wondered if at 36 years of age, something might have changed. Thoughts of a wrinkled half shriveled up old man penis came to mind. As he unbuckled his belt and pulled his zipper down simultaneously, his thick dick flopped free of the denim which had restrained it.
Oh dear God.
A wrinkle-free cock with the girth of my wrist sprung from his jeans. My hand, which was resting between the upper band of my panties and my hip, quickly moved between my legs as if it had a mind of its own.
Soaked.
“See this,” I said as I raised my glistening finger into the air.
His eyes shifted upward as I spoke.
“That’s fourteen years of wait,” I said as I fixed my eyes on my pussy-soaked finger.
“Fifteen, actually damned near sixteen, but who’s counting,” he said.
I shrugged my shoulders. I had no intention of arguing over a few months, I was ready to fuck.
I glanced in his direction as he cleared his throat with a cough.
“See this?” he asked.
I shifted my eyes to his cock filled hand and nodded my head.
“This isn’t fifteen years of wait, but it’s damned sure about ten inches of ready,” he said with a smile as he stroked his hand along the rigid shaft.
Feeling an almost giddy degree of excitement I hadn’t felt since I’d seen him last, I pressed the waist of my shorts along my thighs and released them as they slid past my knees. As the fabric nestled around my ankles, I leaned over, pressed my forearms onto the top of the glass table and glanced over my shoulder.
He stood ten feet behind me with his cock in hand, his jeans bunched around his thighs, and his eyes fixed on my ass.
“That ass of yours is still incredible,” he said as he continued to stroke his cock.
“Try this pussy out and see what you think of it,” I said with a laugh as I pressed my chest onto the table.
“Smart ass,” he said.
I exhaled as he rested his hands on my shoulders. As I felt the tip of his cock pressing against my wet pussy, I realized regardless of my overeager state of mind, I hadn’t been fucked in almost a decade and a half. As he pushed past my parted lips and began to fill my vaginal walls, I opened my mouth, widened my eyes drastically, and did the only thing I could think of which might provide a little relief.
“Ohhhhhh,” I groaned like a woman possessed by demons.
“That’s fucking painful…but it feels so good,” I moaned.
“Jesus, Sam. Your pussy wasn’t this tight when you were sixteen,” he said.
“When I was sixteen,” I said.
“You were…”
“Fucking me…”
“Three times…”
“A day…” I grunted as he continued to try and force himself inside of me.
I bit my lower lip and laid my head to the side as he pulled against my shoulders and slowly pushed himself deeper and deeper into my not so receptive pussy. As he slowly pressed his cock further and further into me, I gripped the sides of the table tightly and bit down harder on my lip.
As long as I had waited for this day to come, and as excited as I was to be fucking him again, I realized there was no way I was going to last. As much as I wanted it, and even though it felt amazing in an oddly awkward way, having his arm-sized cock inside of me was painful as hell. As I prepared to try and explain my need to throw in the towel and offer him one hell of a blowjob, he pulled up on my shoulders, lifted my chest from the table, and sank his teeth into my neck.
After thirty seconds or so of dragging his teeth along my neck and biting my shoulder, ear, and neck as he did so, his mouth came to rest against my ear. As he exhaled warm breath against my ear, a chill ran down my spine.
“That tight little pussy of yours is pissing me off, Sam,” he whispered into my ear.
Goosebumps rose along my arm and my upper body began to tingle.
“I’m about to pull out, shove you down on your knees, and jack off on your pretty little face,” he moaned.
The mere mention of having him jack off on my face opened a totally new chapter in my book of memories. The thought of it sent a tinglin
g sensation through my lower region, and suddenly I felt my pussy open up like a blooming rosebud. Within a few seconds, the pain was gone, and Otis was sliding in and out of me not with ease, but definitely without much frustration.
“Oh fuck yes,” I said as I glanced toward the glass wall.
The two people were in the gym were running on their elliptical machines, staring at the mirror in front of them. In my mind, they were watching Otis fuck me and enjoying what they were seeing. As I felt each individual inch of his stiff shaft slide inside of me, I sighed and grinned, knowing it wouldn’t be long before I erupted into an earth shattering orgasm.
“I’m going to pull out and cover your face in cum, you sexy little bitch,” he growled into my ear as he rhythmically worked his manhood in and out of my dripping pussy.
Oh dear God.
“Do it…but make sure they’re…watching…when you do,” I muttered as he continued to fuck me senseless.
The feeling of his hands pulling on my shoulders, his mouth against my ear, and his cock deep inside of me not only brought back old memories, but was quickly creating a new one as I watched the people on the other side of the glass. While he continued to pound every inch of his swollen rod inside of my sexually out-of-shape pussy, I felt like he was taking my virginity again.
When I was sixteen, I was a virgin. I gave my virginity willingly to Otis, because at the time, I knew not only that I was in love with him, but that I wanted to spend my entire life with him as my other. He was slightly smaller at the time, and stood roughly six feet tall, but his cock was every bit as large then as it was now. As he pounded away, his hips slapped against my ass, filling the room with the sound of sex, and my mind with thoughts of whether or not losing my virginity the first time or this time was more pleasurable.
“They’re watching you…fuck…me. You know that…right?” I said between choppy breaths.
HOT as F*CK Page 198