“Jah.”
“I hope you told her it wasn’t a good idea.”
“Now why would I say that?”
“Because her naas still hurts, and I’m sure she can’t last the whole day with those glasses on her face,” Lydia said with a click of her tongue.
“Maybe she won’t have to wear ’em all day.”
“What do you mean?”
“There’s to be a picnic on Friday, so she won’t be expected to teach the whole day. If her naas starts hurtin’, she can take the glasses off. Besides, I’ll be drivin’ her to and from school, so she won’t have to worry about that, either.”
Lydia pursed her lips and shook her head. “I think Leona pushes herself too hard. She uses her job of teaching to cover up the pain of losing Ezra, too.”
“It’s good for her to keep busy, and she needs a purpose, Lydia.” Jacob bent over and scratched Leona’s dog behind its ears.
“I suppose you’re right. I just hope she works through her grief soon.” Lydia trudged across the porch, gave the screen door handle a sharp pull, and went inside.
Jimmy entered the house through the back door, figuring his dad would be in the kitchen eating dinner by now. He was right. Jim sat at the kitchen table with a bowl of soup in front of him. A couple of store-bought rolls were wedged on a plate, and a glass of milk sat to the right of it. At least it wasn’t a bottle of beer this time.
As soon as the door clicked shut, his dad turned around. “I’m glad you’re home. We need to talk.”
“Yeah. That’s why I’m here.” Jimmy struggled with the desire to rush downstairs and hide out in his darkroom, but there were too many questions he needed to have answered. He strode across the room, pulled out a chair, and took a seat at the table.
“I was worried about you last night when you didn’t come home,” Dad said. “I wish you would have called.”
“I spent the night at Allen’s.”
“So I heard.”
Jimmy didn’t bother to ask who had told. He figured Allen’s mother had probably phoned to let Jim know where he was. That’s how Beth was—always thinking of others. She’d been a real help to Mom—especially during her illness.
“Did you tell the Walters about being adopted?”
Jimmy shook his head. “I haven’t told anyone yet.”
“I’m sorry about the way you found out, Jimmy. I should have kept my promise to your mother and told you sooner.” Dad lifted the glass of milk to his lips and took a drink. “You were probably old enough to hear the truth by the time you were sixteen.”
“Sixteen? Why didn’t you just tell me the truth as soon as I was old enough to understand the concept of adoption? What’d you think I was going to do—run away from home?”
Dad shrugged. “I—I don’t know. We were just afraid you wouldn’t understand or might think we didn’t love you as much because—”
“Because I wasn’t your flesh-and-blood son?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve always known you and Mom loved me.” Jimmy shifted on his chair and inhaled slowly. “I’ve thought about this a lot in the last twenty-four hours, and I need some answers, Dad. I need to know who my birth mother was.”
“She lived in Maryland, just like your mother’s letter said.” A muscle in Dad’s cheek quivered, and Jimmy realized he wasn’t the only one struggling with a bundle of emotions.
“I think I’d like to try and find her, and see if I can learn who my real dad is, too.”
Jim’s forehead wrinkled as his eyebrows pulled together in a frown. “I—I hope you’re not planning to go looking for them. That would be a huge mistake, Jimmy.”
“Why would it be a mistake?”
“Think about it. If they gave you up, then it’s pretty obvious that they didn’t want any contact with you.”
“They didn’t love me? Is that what you’re saying?”
“I’m not saying that at all.” Dad pushed away from the table and headed over to the refrigerator. He removed a can of beer and flipped open the lid.
Jimmy’s fist came down on the table. “Can’t we have this conversation without you having to get liquored up?”
Dad sank to a chair and took a swig from the can. “I’m not liquored up. This is the first beer I’ve had all day.”
They sat there for several minutes, both staring at the table, and the silence that permeated the room felt like a heavy fog creeping across the waters of Puget Sound bay. Wasn’t Dad going to tell him anything? Didn’t he want him to know any of the details of his adoption?
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Jimmy said, “but if I decide to search for my roots, I’ll need to have as much information as you can give me.”
Dad’s next words came out slowly, almost as though he had rehearsed them. “I don’t know the name of your biological parents. The lawyer said your mother was a single parent and couldn’t provide for you.”
“What about my father? What’d he say about him?”
“Nothing much—just that your birth mother had severed ties with him and that he’d married someone else and was living in another state. Oh, and that he had signed away all parental rights to their baby.”
Jimmy swallowed and slowly released his breath. He couldn’t imagine anyone giving up their paternal rights, but then he’d never been put in the position his real parents had been in, either. “Maybe I ought to call your lawyer here and see what he can tell me.”
“Max moved several years ago, and I’m not even sure he’s still alive.” Dad placed his fingertips against his forehead, moving them up and down, then back and forth in a circular motion.
“Then maybe I should call the lawyer in Maryland. Do you have his phone number?”
“I—I—uh—it might be in the safe with your adoption papers.”
“Can you get it for me?”
Dad dropped his hands to the table, clenching and unclenching his fingers. “Uh—well—”
“I need some answers, Dad.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know you do.” Dad stood and grabbed up his dishes, hauling them over to the sink.
“Are you going to help me with this or not?” Jimmy asked, feeling more frustrated with each passing moment.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“You’ll let me look through the safe for those adoption papers?”
“No!”
“Why not?”
Dad moved back to the table. “How about this—I’ll look for the lawyer’s phone number, and then I’ll give him a call and see what I can find out for you. How’s that sound?”
Jimmy shrugged. “I—I suppose that would be okay. It’s a start, anyway.”
Dad nodded, then took a long drink of beer. Jimmy cringed. If he doesn’t keep this promise, then I’m going to take matters into my own hands.
Leona was nearly finished helping Mom with the breakfast dishes when a knock sounded at the back door. She dried her hands and went to answer it.
“Guder mariye,” Abner said when she opened the door.
“Good morning,” she responded. “What brings you by here so early?”
“Emanuel and I came to give you a ride over to the schoolhouse.”
Leona wondered how Abner knew she had planned to go to school this morning but didn’t bother to raise the question. “I appreciate the offer, but my daed will be taking me.”
Abner shook his head. “I ran into him on my way home from work last night, and he asked if I could come by and get you—said he had to be in the town of Blue Ball early this morning to bid on a paint job.”
She stared at him, dumbfounded. “Papa never mentioned anything to me about leaving early today, and I’m sure he would have said something if he hadn’t been able to drive me to school.”
“Jah, well, he must have gotten busy and forgot to tell you.” Abner lifted his straw hat from his head and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Maybe he figured you’d find out from me.”
Leona l
eaned against the doorjamb as she tried to piece everything together. It wasn’t like Papa to be so forgetful or promise to do something and then not follow through. She was about to say that she would need to speak with her daed about this, when she remembered that he had left the house right after breakfast. She figured he’d gone out to the barn to do a few chores, but maybe Richard Jamison, his English employee, had come by in his van. He and Papa could be halfway to Blue Ball by now.
Abner nodded toward his open buggy, parked alongside the house, and she noticed Emanuel sitting in the back. “Are you about ready to go then?”
Leona wished she could drive herself to school today, but she knew neither one of her folks would condone that idea. Not with the headaches that snuck up on her when she least expected them. “I’ll need to speak to my mamm first and see if she knows whether Papa’s left for work or not,” she said.
He nodded. “Okay. I’ll be waitin’ in the buggy with my brother then.”
Jim removed a five-gallon bucket of paint from the back of his van and glanced over his shoulder. Jimmy and two of his employees stood on scaffolding as they sprayed one side of the grocery store they had been painting this week. He’d felt a sense of relief when Jimmy said he would be here today, but he cringed when he thought about the promise he’d made to his son about calling the lawyer in Maryland. I’ll wait a couple days, and then I’ll tell him I called the lawyer but that he had no information to give. Maybe then Jimmy will stop asking questions and give up on the idea of trying to find his biological parents. He needs to let it drop, that’s for sure. And I’ll need to make sure that he does.
Jim had fought to get to sleep again last night but finally found some relief when he took the herbal tablets he’d bought at Holly Simmons’s health food store. A shot of whiskey would have done the trick just as well, but he was already pushing his luck with Jimmy and couldn’t risk angering him by getting caught guzzling a drink.
“Where do you want this paint to go?” Jim’s foreman asked.
“You can take it to the guys working on the other side of the building,” he mumbled.
“Sure thing, boss.” Ed started to walk away but turned back around. “It’s good to see Jimmy at work this morning.”
Jim’s only reply was a brief nod.
“The kid’s been acting kind of quiet, though. Do you know if there’s something wrong?”
Yeah, plenty, Jim thought while shaking his head to indicate the opposite. “Everything’s fine, Ed.” He clenched his fists. “Never been better.”
“I hope you won’t be late for work because you took the time to drive me to the schoolhouse,” Leona said, glancing over at Abner in the driver’s seat of his open buggy.
“He took the day off so he could come to the picnic with me,” Emanuel chimed in from his seat in the back.
“Yeah, and if you should get tired and need to leave early, I’ll be there to take you home,” Abner added.
Leona clung to the edge of her seat as they jostled down the driveway heading to the main road. “That’s kind of you, but I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“Maybe so. Maybe not.”
Irritation welled up within her. It was bad enough that the humidity this morning was stifling. Now her emotions were getting the best of her, too. Abner had no reason to be worried about her. She was tempted to tell him to turn around and take her back home, but that would mean she would miss seeing her students today.
“There’s sure been a lot of corn goin’ into the ground this past week,” Abner said as they passed a neighboring farm where an Amish man and his son worked side by side in the field.
Leona nodded but made no reply. She wasn’t in the mood for small talk. Why did Papa have to leave early this morning? And why did he ask Abner to drive me to school? He should have at least told me about it.
“Oats, hay, and wheat are growin’ nicely now,” Abner droned on. “It won’t be long ’til the womenfolk in our community can start cannin’ peas and strawberries.”
Emanuel smacked his lips. “I sure can’t wait for our mamm’s strawberry pie. She makes the best in all of Lancaster County, ain’t that right, Abner?”
“Jah, she sure does,” his brother agreed. “And strawberries should be getting ripe by the middle of June.”
Leona’s head had started to throb, and her nose quickly followed suit. The pain couldn’t be blamed on her glasses resting too heavily on the spots that were still tender, because she’d put them in her purse before she left home. I wish we would hurry up and get there. It’s times like this when I’d like to be riding in a car.
Half an hour later, they pulled into the school yard. Several children milled about, some on the swings and others playing on the set of teeter-totters. The sight brought tears to Leona’s eyes. Oh how she had missed her pupils these past few weeks!
Hannah Fisher bounded up to the buggy as soon as Abner stopped the horse. “Teacher Leona, it’s so good to have you back!”
“That’s for sure,” Emanuel chimed in.
“It’s good to be here.” Leona climbed down from the buggy. “Danki for the ride, Abner.”
He nodded. “I have a couple of errands to run in town, so I’ll take care of those now, but I’ll be back in time for the picnic.”
“My mamm’s comin’ to the picnic, too,” Hannah said, bouncing up and down.
Leona nodded at Hannah and then Emanuel. “Shall we go inside now?”
“Jah,” they said in unison.
At noontime, Jimmy decided to take his lunch to the park, which wasn’t far from the store they had been painting. It would be a welcome relief to get off alone for a while, and it would be better than sitting around with the guys trying to make idle conversation. The morning had gone by quickly, and for that he was glad. He’d made an effort to keep busy and had tried not to think about anything other than the job they were doing. He still hadn’t made up his mind about what to do concerning his search for his birth family once his dad contacted the lawyer.
Jimmy had just grabbed his lunch pail from the back of his pickup and closed the tailgate when his dad showed up. “Where are you going, son?”
“I thought I’d walk over to the park to eat my lunch.”
“Want some company?” Brad, one of the new painters, called out.
“I’d—uh—rather be alone. Maybe some other time.” Jimmy hurried down the sidewalk, and a short time later, he entered the park and took a seat on a bench. He flipped open his lunch pail and stared at the contents—a tuna sandwich he’d made this morning and a couple of store-bought cookies. Neither appealed, so he grabbed his thermos of milk and poured some into the lid. When he took a drink, the cool liquid felt good on his parched throat. However, it did little to relieve the tension that seemed to be working its way through every muscle and nerve in his body.
Jimmy stared across the playground at the swings and spiral slide. It made him think of the park close to home—the one he and Mom had visited many times when he was a boy. He’d met Allen there, and it hadn’t taken long for the two of them to become friends. Mom and Allen’s mother had hit it off, too, and soon after that, they’d started going to the same church the Walters family attended.
“Those were happy times,” Jimmy murmured. “Wish I could slip back to those days and stay there.”
A horn honked, and his gaze went to the parking lot where a black sports car had pulled in. “What are you doing here?” he called as Allen exited the car.
As his friend sauntered up to him, a lock of dark brown hair fell across his forehead. “I didn’t have to work at the lumber mill today, so I stopped by the grocery store where your dad’s paint crew has been working.”
“How come?”
“I was looking for you, and your dad told me you had come to the park to eat your lunch.”
Jimmy nodded. “I needed to be alone for a while.”
Allen took a seat on the bench beside him. “I know there’s something bothering you, Jimmy. You wouldn�
��t have stayed overnight at my house on a weeknight if not. And you wouldn’t have been acting like your best friend had just died, either.”
Jimmy smiled in spite of his dour mood. “You’re my best friend, and I’m thankful you’re still very much alive.”
Allen pointed to the lunch Jimmy hadn’t touched. “Just one more proof that something must be eating you.”
Jimmy groaned. “You’re right, there is. And it’s a big something.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“No. Yes. Well, I guess maybe I should.”
“If it’s something you don’t want repeated, you can count on me to keep my mouth shut.”
“I know. You’ve never blabbed anything I’ve told you in confidence.”
Allen snickered. “Yeah, like you’ve ever told me anything exciting enough to want to blab.”
Jimmy shivered despite the sun’s warming rays. “What I have to say wouldn’t be considered exciting. It was a pretty big shock, though.”
His friend leaned closer and squinted his blue eyes. “You’d better spill it then, ’cause I can’t stand the suspense.”
It was all Leona could do to help her mother fix supper that night. Not only was she exhausted from her long day at school, but her nose hurt something awful, as well. She removed her glasses and set them on the window ledge, then went to the refrigerator to get out the ingredients she would need for a tossed salad. It would go well with slices of cold ham, leftover baked beans, and potato salad. The day had turned out to be quite warm, so they’d decided not to heat up the kitchen any further by cooking a hot meal this evening.
“How’d the school picnic go?” Mom asked as she set the ham on the cupboard and began to slice it.
“It went fine. Everyone seemed to have a good time.”
“And you, daughter? How’d you get along today?”
“I did all right.” Leona placed the vegetables on the table, pulled out a chair, and sat down. If she were being completely honest, she would have to admit that things hadn’t gone nearly as well as she’d hoped they would. She’d suffered with a headache most of the day, even though she hadn’t been wearing her glasses. She didn’t want her mamm to know that, though. Mom would only have reminded Leona that she’d returned to school too soon, and then there would have been tension between them.
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