by Colbie Kay
I sent him a text this morning, letting him know that I would be over this afternoon. He responded quickly with he would be waiting for me. With one gulp of my coffee, I place the cup in the sink, grab my keys off the counter, and head over to Brody’s, leaving before Zac figures out that I’m gone.
On my short drive over, I get my final thoughts together. This isn’t going to be easy by any means, but it has to be done. He's the boy next door, a childhood friend, but nothing more.
Arriving at his house, I sit there for a minute before I get out and climb his front steps. Just as I’m getting ready to knock, the door opens, making me flinch in surprise, but somehow, I manage a smile when I see him standing in front of me. "Hey, Brody, how's it goin'?"
“It’s goin’.” Brody looks like he hasn’t slept much. His beard is growing and seems rough, and there are bags under his eyes. He appears worn out from head to toe.
“Are you sure about that?” I raise my brow in question because he wasn’t very convincing.
“Yeah, I’m good. Just lots of work on the ranch. Come on in.” He opens the door wider, allowing me to enter. I stroll over to the couch and take a seat. Brody follows behind me, grabbing a seat next to me. There’s a little bit of silence, but Brody breaks it when he speaks, “What did you want to talk about?”
“Zac—” I begin, except Brody holds up his hand to stop me.
“Jesus, do we have to talk about him again?” His voice is harsh.
I squirm and adjust myself on the couch to face him directly. “Yes. Yes, we do, Brody. It was never your place to force him into telling his story before he was ready.” I slap my hand on my thigh in an effort to stay calm, but I can feel my irritation growing.
“Right, because he was going to give it all up on his own.” Brody jumps up from the couch in a huff. “I would go to war for you, Cayden. Can’t you see that? You needed to know the truth.” Brody stops in his tracks. “Let me ask you something. Why him? Why not me?”
“Brody…” I blow out a breath. “If you truly loved me, then I wouldn’t have been merely some prize to be won. It was never a competition. And now, I know the truth about Zac. You see, there’s a difference in loving someone and being in love with them. When you love someone, you feel great being around them, but when you’re in love with someone, you can’t wait to see them. You want to spend every waking moment with them, and their happiness is your happiness. The sight of them makes your heart try and jump out of your chest.”
“Then why the hell did you want to have a threesome?” Brody throws his arms up in the air.
“Brody, after you confessed your feelings, I didn’t know what to think. And the threesome…I felt like it was something I needed to get out of my system, to see what it would be like. I needed to confirm my feelings for each of you.” I shrug my shoulders, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Well, that’s just fuckin’ great, Cayden. All I wanted was for you to be mine.” Oh boy, this is not going well at all. “We’ve been friends since we were kids.”
“And that doesn’t mean anything except that we’re friends.” Friends are all we were ever supposed to be. Maybe we crossed the line when we made it friends with benefits? I lean back on the couch. “Brody, I would have never chosen you. I’ve never had those type of feelings for you.” I gaze up at him, studying him, and see the sadness in his eyes. He’s finally realized that we will never be together. My heart belongs to someone else. There’s not much more to say. I glance down at my watch noticing that the time has gotten away from me. “I need to go.”
“Cayden?” Brody whispers.
I raise my head, eyeing him one more time. “Yes?” I mutter in return.
“I do love you, but I also understand that you will never truly be mine. I don’t want to get in the way of your happiness. There’s no way I would ever force you to be with me. I thought I could take a chance and win you over, but I know now where I stand.” Brody holds his hand out to me, defeat in his eyes. “Maybe it was wrong, but I had to try.”
I place my hand in his, and he yanks me up from the couch. “I know you love me, and while I love you, I’m not in love with you. It’s a different kind of love. We will only ever be friends. There’s someone out there for you, but it’s not me.”
He walks me out to the Jeep, and while we’re standing beside it, I give him a hug. I don’t want to cry, but I can feel the tears welling in my eyes. It’s hard being happy, and at the same time, breaking someone’s heart. Even though I love Zac, I had to make sure Brody knew where I stood.
He pulls back from the embrace, places his hands on my face, and gently moves his thumbs across my cheeks. "Go and be with him. Don't hold back anymore. Be happy, be loved, and definitely don’t let anyone stand in your way." He kisses my cheek. “Goodbye, Cayden. You can let Zac know that if he doesn’t take care of you like he should, I’ll kick his ass,” He says with a fierce gaze, returning to an upright position, and removing his hands from my face.
“Hey, what’s with this goodbye business? I’d like to say see you around. And I have no doubt that Zac will take care of me.” I know full well everything will work out. “Brody, you’re gonna be alright. I know it. Someone special is waiting for you. You’re gonna knock her on her ass. Better yet, she’ll knock you on yours.” I snicker, climbing into the Jeep with a smile.
I’m on my way home, where my heart truly belongs…with Zac. Hopefully, I’ll make it back before anyone realizes that I’ve been gone. For now, we simply need to work through a few more things–a little unfinished business–before we can move forward.
I’m pulling up to the house and find Zac standing there. The mere sight of him makes my heart swell with joy. I park and jump out, and he’s already walking down the steps to meet me.
Standing in front of each other, I say, “Hey there!”
Zac wraps an arm around my waist as I hook my arms around his neck. He replies softly, “Hey there, yourself. Where’d you go?
“I went to see Brody. I needed to let him know, I made my choice,” I explain. There’s no more holding back and no more running.
“Oh, you did, huh? And what choice would that be?” Zac hugs me closer and smiles.
“You! Always you!” I beam.
“Thank fuck!” His lips crash down on mine, making me melt into a puddle of goo. Yes, a puddle of goo.
I sit on the edge of the couch with my elbows resting on my knees, my head hanging as I think over Cayden's words and the decision she made. It was always going to be him. I didn’t have one ounce of a fighting chance with her from the beginning. Something I should have fucking realized after the first time I saw them together. I shouldn’t have been as stupid to think she would pick me, but I believed I was set to win. Somewhere in all of this, I lost myself in a battle for a prize that I was never going to get. Jesus, listen to me! She's not a God damn object, she's a fucking person. She's my best friend, and I didn't give a shit about her feelings, or anyone else’s for that matter…only mine. Maybe she is right, maybe this wasn’t about love, specifically my love for her–or lack of it.
I didn't intentionally set out to hurt anyone by giving her that folder. It was purely for personal gain, but I wound up hurting others, people I care about. Fuck, I'm an asshole.
Cayden was right: there is a difference in loving someone and being in love with them. Am I really truly in love with her? I don't know. I do love her, but I had to let her go. I think it's time for me to put my focus on my work instead of a girl who’s meant for someone else. And Cayden is meant for Zac, not me. If she was ever truly meant for me, then Zac would have never been in the equation. How could I expect her to want to stay in Senoia and live a happy life when she’s destined for so much more.
I can’t.
My phone rings in my back pocket. Pulling it out, I peek at the screen, only to realize I don't recognize the number. I answer anyway, "Hello?"
"Oh, thank God! Brody, it's me, Melanie. I know my call is out of the blue, b
ut I'm desperate." She sounds frantic.
"What's goin' on?"
"My babysitter up and quit on me, and now I have twenty minutes to get to work. I was hoping that since you were so good with Jacob, you’d consider watching him for me. I promise it'll be the only time, and I'll find someone else before my next shift."
"Sure. I'll leave now." I rush to grab my keys and race out the front door to my truck.
"Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! I'll send you my address."
"No problem." I hang up the phone and wait for her text to come through, grateful for the distraction. Maybe by watching Jacob for Melanie, I’ll be able to get my mind off my own problems, and it’ll keep me from sitting here, sulking in my own misery.
I had just gotten Jacob sleeping in his crib when Melanie comes through the front door. "How was he?" She asks nervously.
"He was good. I just laid him down."
"Thank you, Brody. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help today. One of the girls at work gave me a number for a new babysitter. Would you like a glass of wine? I usually have one to relieve the stress of the day."
"Sure." I follow her into the kitchen where she fills two wine glasses with the pale liquid and passes one to me. Taking a sip, I rub the back of my neck. "You know, I could watch him for you."
She sputters, "What?"
"Jacob. I could watch him for you. I'm usually done on the ranch by five, but I could leave early on the days you need me."
Her brows knit. "You would do that? Why?"
Shrugging my shoulders, I respond, "I had fun spending time with him. Plus, it'll keep me busy." I leave out the part that I'm envious of her. Her life is a little hectic, but she’s settled, has this amazing little boy, and overall, she’s happy.
"Oh my gosh, Brody!" She rushes over to me, throwing her arms around my neck. To keep us from toppling to the ground, I wrap mine around her waist and plant my feet. "Thank you so much! I'll pay you."
"No, I don't want your money."
She pulls back. "I can't let you do that. Are you sure about this? Don't you want to spend time with Cayden? I mean, I know she’ll be leaving again soon."
Searching her eyes, I begin to really take in Melanie's features: her crystal blue eyes, pouty lips, and cute little button nose. She's pretty…real fuckin' pretty. When we were in school together, I was too focused on Cayden to really notice any other girls, but now, standing there, I can’t help but see her. "I'm sure. And Cayden isn't an issue for me anymore."
"What happened? You two were always such good friends." Yeah, at one time we were, however, now I don’t know if we’ll ever get back to where we were before this whole disaster occurred.
"Long story. Look, I'm gonna head out since I gotta be up before dawn. Have a good night, Melanie." I lean in to kiss her cheek.
"Night, Brody," She whispers.
I show myself out, driving home to try and get some sleep.
I’m running around my room, trying to find all the things that I need to pack for the long road trip. It’s going to take us three or four days to get to Aurora, Colorado: thirteen hundred and fifty-three miles away. That’s a lot of time in a vehicle with Zac. I exit my bathroom with the rest of my toiletries in my arms in order to finish packing my suitcase.
Jamming my toe on the side of my bed, I yell, “Son of a bitch!”
Crashing through my door, Zac runs over to the bed and bends down to where I’m sitting, holding my foot. “Cayden, what happened? You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good. Fucking busted my toe against the bed.” Zac looks down at my foot and then back at me. “Wait, how’d you know it was me yelling.”
Flashing a gorgeous smile, he teases me, “I’m pretty familiar with your screams.” Winking, he pulls on my big toe, and I scramble backward.
“Zac!” Oh my heavens, that hurt.
“Yeah, that’s what I like to hear,” He responds with a chuckle.
“Smartass. What are you doin’?” I ask as he crawls toward me.
“Checkin’ on your foot.”
Right…that’s not what he’s doing. He continues to move over me, mischief in his eyes. “Come here.” Zac stands up, straddling my legs and squats down to wrap his arms around me. He lifts me from the floor in one smooth motion. I wrap my legs around his waist, clasping my hands behind his neck. Setting me on the bed, he lowers his lips to mine, kissing me quickly. He pulls away too soon and bends over to check my toe again. I moan as he starts to massage it.
“Cayden!” His tone is warning me, but I can see both worry and playfulness in his eyes. He works my toes and feet, continuing his massage, and I feel very good. Stopping, he raises his gaze to me. “Feel better?”
Surprisingly, I do, and I’m sure he can see it on my face. “Yes, much better.” I exhale.
Zac pushes himself up off of the floor and swings one leg over me on the bed. Straddling me, he plants his hands on either side of my head, trapping me. “Are you almost ready to get this road trip started?”
Damn, I was hoping he was coming in for another kiss.
“Does a bear shit in the woods?” My lips curl into a grin, and we both laugh. Every moment spent with him, makes my heart race. I fell hard for him, and I don’t think I’m quite done falling yet. “C’mon let’s get all our stuff downstairs.”
Now that my toe doesn’t feel like it’s going to fall off, I get up from the bed, making sure not to put too much pressure on that tender digit. Zac zips up my suitcase, plants it on the floor, and extends the handle for transport. That done, he glances over at me with a curious expression. Uh oh, what the hell is he about to do? A smirk appears, and in the next moment, he tosses me over his shoulder before grabbing the suitcase with his other hand.
“Zac, I can walk,” I protest.
“Yeah, you can, but don’t you like the view?”
Well, a girl can’t complain too much when such a nice ass is in her face. “Yeah, yeah. I’ve seen better,” I joke, giggling. Zac stops and letting go of the suitcase, smacks my ass. “Oh, that was nice.” I wiggle my ass.
We head down the stairs to make sure we have everything we need for the trip. I walk into the kitchen to fill the cooler with drinks and snacks. When I return to the living room with it, I see Dex standing beside Zac.
“Take the truck. It’ll be more comfortable on the trip than the Jeep.” Dex and Zac half hug each other with their fists between them. Seeing everyone embracing us, embracing him, makes me happy, and I smile.
“Thanks, brother. I guess we should start loading the truck,” Zac declares, a grin of his own on his face.
“Cooler is ready to go too,” I announce.
He strides over, reaches for my cheek, and rubs it with the pad of his thumb. “I got it. Let’s get this show on the road.” He picks up the cooler, carrying it outside.
I put my suitcase in the truck, and Zac finishes getting everything else loaded before shutting the back door. Turning toward the porch, I see my sisters standing there with Mav and Dex. Zac and I both stroll over to hug them.
“Go, take care of what you need to, Zac,” Maverick tells his friend before we load ourselves up.
“I plan on it.” Zac grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze.
We agreed to share the driving responsibility since it’s a long trip, and I’m ready to get started. Zac puts the key into the ignition as I buckle up.
“Ready?” I question.
He blows out a breath. “Absolutely. It’s time.” He puts the truck in drive, and we wave at everyone.
Our trip is beginning.
We’ve been on the road for about three hours when we arrive in Nashville. These people are nuts when it comes to driving. The traffic is ridiculous. “Shit, this fuckin’ GPS is telling me the wrong thing,” Zac blurts out, frustrated.
I laugh. “Zac, it’s not the GPS. You’re not in the right lane. Get in the other lane.”
“Cayden, it’s telling me to take the right exit. What’s being in the left lane gonna
do?” Still, he turns on the blinker and starts to move to the other lane. “Son of a bitch! These people are crazy.”
“Oh, wait! No, stay in this lane, Zac.” He whips his head and glares at me. I smile sweetly at him. “I hate big city driving. Don’t you?”
Zac shakes his head, and we both laugh. “Yeah, big city driving sucks big balls.” We both guffaw some more, making my side hurt. “Damn, we need to get through this city soon.”
We finally make it to the other side of Nashville, allowing us to breathe a little easier. Making our way down the highway, the miles fly by, and we decide to stop right outside of St. Louis, Missouri since we’re tired. Zac goes into the lobby of the hotel and checks us in. All I want to do is take a shower and go to bed. I know we had planned on this being the longest day of the trip, but damn, I’m more exhausted than I thought I’d be.
Zac comes back out to the truck, climbing in with our room key in hand. “All set. Let’s get some rest.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” I yawn.
We get to our room with our overnight bags and set them down. Stretching my arms above my head, I look at Zac. “I’m gonna take a shower.” I need to wash this day off of me.
The tiredness in Zac’s eyes is very noticeable. “Alright. I’ll text the guys and let them know where we are.”
Nodding, I reach into my bag to grab the things I need.
A groan escapes as the water runs over my body, relaxing me. It feels heavenly. After I’m done in the shower, I climb into bed and curl up next to Zac. I close my eyes, and the rhythm of his breathing eases me to sleep.
Waking from a restful sleep, I feel Zac’s hand gently moving up my leg and over my hip, and I roll onto my back. “Good morning,” I greet him with a smile.
“Morning, baby.” He looks refreshed as he positions himself on top of me, spreading my legs with his as he brings his lips to mine.