“What the hell was that about?” Connor asked.
“I don’t know, but I hope it doesn’t mark more bad news for me.”
“I think we’ve had enough bad news for a while. It’s time for something good to happen 'cause, man, all this crap with court and Andrew and Jayden, it all sucks.”
“That it does,” Madison replied, watching the door.
Twenty minutes later, Elias came barreling through the door. He spotted them immediately and started heading their way. He was determined, but that was a look he always seemed to bear. But this felt different. She almost hated to hope for good news, but as he reached them she saw a sparkle in his eyes. He kneeled down so he was eye level with her.
“They dropped all charges against you.”
Madison’s hands shot to her mouth. Her brows rose as she could feel the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. Her head was shaking in disbelief but Elias just smiled widely and nodded. Jacqueline draped her arm over Madison’s shoulders and pulled her near. Madison was beyond happy. She couldn’t believe that things were finally looking up and that she was free of this nightmare.
“They’re not charging any of us?” Madison finally queried.
“Well, they dropped charges against you but they are charging Nolan.”
“What about the senator?” Connor asked.
“Ahh, Senator Bowers is,” Elias rose and brushed down his jacket. “He is portraying a convincing innocent victim.”
Connor rolled his eyes. “That man is innocent of nothing.”
“How can that be? He’s at the heart of it all?” Madison asked astonished.
“I know,” Elias stated as he watched other people exit the courtroom. “But he submitted documents that implicated Nolan and Kurtis. Since Kurtis is dead, he can’t corroborate anything. Bowers acted as if he was a victim of their fraud,” he said with a shrug. “The important thing is they did not charge you, which is what counts. We can’t concern ourselves with what’s going on with them.”
Madison nodded. “So, I’m free to leave?”
“Yes, we can all leave.”
Madison turned to Connor, who was smiling. “Let’s go back to the hospital and tell Andrew.”
“I’m sure that will make him happy,” he agreed.
As they got up, Jacqueline stopped Elias. “I don’t know what you said to James to make him change his tune, but thank you.”
Elias smiled. “I did nothing.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Jacqueline...”
She raised her hand to stop him. “I don’t care what happened. I’m just glad that whatever you ‘didn’t do’,” she said with air quotes, “worked.”
She turned and began walking towards Madison, who had stopped to see what the holdup was. Elias caught up to them as well. Jacqueline told them she would be heading back to her office, so Madison and Connor hitched a ride with Elias. For the first time since arriving in New York, Madison felt light hearted. They would be able to go home and put this whole mess behind them.
27 Recovery Road
10 Days Later
Madison watched as Andrew packed a few things into his duffle bag. Her lip had been permanently placed between her teeth as she quelled the unease that filled the room. They had only been home for three days. He had been required to stay another six days in the hospital after the hearing. The doctors refused to release him to fly without more tests. Connor and Elias, however, headed back the day after the hearing while Aaron and Olivia stayed in New York for the duration of Andrew’s hospital stay.
The day after they arrived home was spent with her grans, who was extremely happy that Madison and Jacqueline had made amends with one another. It had also given Madison the opportunity to talk with her grans about her father and what had happened so long ago. If possible, Madison loved her even more by the time they were done discussing it.
They had also visited Jayden and Callie. Jayden was at home as well, healing from his burns. Callie had learned to change his bandages and was an expert at this point. She had to do it twice a day, and when she did, it was always done with a joyful heart. Madison and Andrew were there on one occasion where she changed them and she happily pointed out the areas he was healing. Jayden himself was cheerful and excited to have his friends back home. At one point, the two friends actually shared war stories, much to Madison and Callie’s dismay.
“Stop, Madison,” Andrew said, letting his finger work between her teeth to release her lip.
“I hate this.”
Andrew sighed and stopped packing. “Madison, I don’t want to leave either but I don’t feel strong enough to beat this.”
“But you are.”
He smirked and walked over to her, standing between her legs. He then lifted her up and laid her on the bed, settling between her thighs. His lips touched hers as he kissed her softly. As she started to deepen it, he pulled back slightly and rolled off of her. He let out a sigh as he brought his left arm up. He gave Madison a concerned look before taking her hand and running her fingers up and down his arm.
“Every day since I awoke this arm has felt like it’s on fire. And this vein,” he forced her finger along it. “It feels like it’s pulsing. It’s so extreme to me that I keep thinking people can see it or hear it like I can but then I realize no one else does. Madison, I swear it feels like I’m going crazy.”
“You’re not.”
He shrugged. “Maybe while I’m at the treatment center, they can help me deal with it. I hope so, but if not, at least I’ll know that while I’m there I’m not gonna use at all.” He let his fingers trace along her cheek. “I don’t want to be your dad, Madison. I don’t want to lie to you about how bad it is and then end up using.”
“Andrew.”
“No, listen, baby.” He sat up, as did she. “I think I know what your dad felt like. He loved your mom and I believe he was happy and he saw that she was happy. I don’t think he had the heart to tell her he had relapsed or how bad it was for him. Eventually, it became too hard to resist.” He wiped the tears she was shedding. “I won’t do that to you.”
“Helios, I...”
“I’m having a hard time, Madison,” he said sharply, cutting her off. “Every ounce of me is fighting this but I’m still thinking and dreaming about it. I’m afraid to be alone. I’m afraid it will see my weakness and take me.” He looked down and breathed out deeply. “The last time I quit, I was locked up. I didn’t have access, so there was safety in that. I need that kind of isolation. Please tell me you understand. I don’t think I can do this if you don’t.”
She nodded and laid down again, pulling him down to her. She kissed him hard, letting the passion she always felt for him be released. She couldn’t bear the thought of him being gone for ninety days. That was a lifetime. His hand slipped under her top and cupped her breast while their kiss intensified. Swiftly, he was on top of her, grinding against her, needing to be inside her once more.
“I need you,” Madison moaned out as she undid the buttons on his jeans.
~*~
Andrew stared at the facility he would be staying at for three months. Three months. He let that sink in. That was the same amount of time he and Madison had been apart when he left New York. It brought back horrible memories for him, he had been a shell of a man when they had not been together. He felt no purpose or connection without her. But this was different. He had to keep telling himself that.
“Andrew, are you sure I can’t go in there with you?” she asked gently.
“I won’t be able to do it if I see you walk out the door without me,” he replied, not looking at her.
She didn’t say anything else, she simply unbuckled her seatbelt and scooted as closely as she could, resting her head on his shoulder. They sat that way for mere seconds before she felt him sigh heavily and then the door clicked open. He then turned to her, a determined look on his beautiful face before kissing her deeply. His head then rested gently on hers before he kissed her
lightly on the forehead.
“I love you, Madison.”
“I love you too, Helios,” she replied as she watched him walk away from her.
Andrew’s heart beat rapidly as he knocked on the door. A man in a light blue polo shirt with the logo of the treatment center on it smiled warmly at him as the door opened. He was a short man, slight in stature, but there was compassion in his eyes. The man had a name tag that indicated his name was Spencer. He stepped aside and motioned for Andrew to enter the foyer.
“You must be Andrew Harrison,” he said with genuine kindness.
“Yes,” Andrew replied, shifting his duffle bag.
“Wonderful. All your paperwork is in order, so let me show you around and let you get settled.”
Andrew nodded as he tried to steady his racing heart. A part of him wanted to turn right around and call Madison back. Of course, he suspected that she was probably still sitting outside in the car. He breathed in deeply, he needed to do this. He had to get this in check. He made a promise to himself and to Madison and he was going to do his best to keep it.
“Andrew, as you can see, this is our living quarters. Although we have many groups, there is plenty of free time to catch a game,” Spencer indicated, motioning towards the living room.
Andrew’s eyes grew wide as he took in the beautiful set up. Black leather couches formed a large U facing a 52-inch flat screen television. There were magazines and books lying on the coffee and end tables while large lamps hovered over. Three men were in the room. One of them was reading to the side while the other two watched a basketball game, discussing animatedly the merits of their respective teams. Andrew was awed by the fact that the facility looked more like a luxury hotel than a treatment center. It was nicer than the pictures he’d seen online.
“Andrew, let me introduce you to Jeff and Sam.”
Jeff stood up and reached his hand out. “You my new roomie?” he asked with a smile.
“Yeah, guess so.”
“Cool. Lakers or Clippers?”
“Excuse me?”
The man identified as Sam rolled his eyes and stood as well, reaching his hand out to Andrew. “He does that to everyone. The fool is the only Clippers fan in the world.”
“Hey, forget you, there are a lot of Clippers fans out there.”
“Where? Where the hell are all these so called fans 'cause I ain’t never seen any of them?”
Andrew smiled. “I’m not into basketball, sorry.”
“Not into basketball, WHAT!” Jeff announced loudly as if that revelation was the most bizarre thing he had ever heard.
“Carl, would you like to introduce yourself?" Spencer asked the man in the corner.
“No, I’m good,” he said, not looking up.
“Hey, Spencer, you want me to show him around?”
“Andrew, do you mind?”
“Umm, no, whatever works.”
Jeff turned to Sam and laughed. “Clippers all the way this year. I can feel it.”
“In your dreams, man, in your dreams.”
Jeff reached for Andrew’s duffle bag but Andrew stepped back, securing it over his shoulder.
“Shit, man, sorry. Mind your damn boundaries,” Jeff mumbled to himself. “Come on,” he said to Andrew as he started to hop up the stairs.
He led Andrew up the stairs and into the room they would be sharing. Andrew eyed his new surroundings. There were two full size beds separated by a nightstand with a small black lamp on it. Across from the bed was a large double dresser, eight drawers that Andrew imagined he would be sharing. The entire décor was black with white accessories. It was nice and, once again, Andrew was reminded of the hotels he had stayed in with Madison.
“I got that bed,” Jeff motioned to the bed on the right. “So, guess that one’s yours.”
“Thanks,” Andrew said as he dropped his bag on the made bed.
“What’s your poison?”
Andrew sighed, rolling his head slightly. “Heroin.”
“Heroin, huh? Mine was coke, but I did some meth too, and, ya know, straight speed as well.”
Andrew just nodded as he opened his bag. He touched the picture on the top of his clothes. His finger traced along Madison’s face. He had only brought two pictures with him. One of just Madison from when they stayed at Big Bear and the other was one of everyone from Elias and Liam’s wedding. He set both pictures on the bed and then picked up the new sketch books Madison had bought for him, along with new pencils. He opened the book and smiled at the inscription on the back of the front cover which read: For my Helios, I believe in you. Let the Phoenix rise again.
“How come you’re not starting on the first floor?”
“What?” Andrew asked, startled.
“Well, normally people start on the first floor and then after a week or two come up here.”
Andrew nodded. Now he knew what he was talking about. He remembered reading something in the brochure about how all new residents start on the first floor while they detox and get used to the system. When he did his intake, they had talked to him about it as well.
“After my interview, they said they would start me on the second floor because, umm, I’ve been living drug free for ten years and I didn’t actually use.”
“Huh?” Jeff stated confused.
Andrew glanced over his shoulder and then turned around, leaning against the frame of the bed.
“I was in an accident and they gave me morphine. It triggered my cravings. When I was released from the hospital, I didn’t want to take any chances.” Jeff was still staring at him confused. “My cravings are intense. Day and night I’m longing for it. If I’m with my fiancée, I can hold them at bay but, hell, she can’t be with me 24 hours a day. She has to go back to work and I...” he sighed heavily. “I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting her so I decided to do something about it.”
Jeff walked towards the bed and picked up the picture. “Is this her?”
“Yes,” Andrew stated, snatching the photo out of his hand.
Jeff picked up the next picture. “Who’re all of these people?”
“My family and friends,” Andrew replied taking the picture from him.
Jeff, who struggled with appropriate boundaries, then picked up one of Andrew’s sketch books, turning it in his hands. “You draw, 'cause we do art therapy here.”
Andrew nodded as he took the book from him. Jeff reached for his pencils and Andrew had finally had enough. He grasped Jeff’s wrist, stopping him.
“Please don’t touch my things.”
Jeff shook his hand loose and nodded. “Sorry,” he said as he sat on his own bed. “I’m never gonna get that whole 'respecting people's private space' thing.”
“Look, I’m...” Andrew started, sitting on the bed. Jeff looked disheartened, which made Andrew feel bad. “I’m not trying to be a jerk. Just... trying to get my bearings, alright? It’s not personal.”
Jeff nodded but didn’t say anything.
“So, umm, how long you been here?” Andrew asked.
“Three weeks,” Jeff stated excitedly.
28 Phoenix Rising
Six Weeks Later
Andrew lay with his arm under his head, staring at the ceiling. He heard movement outside his room but he ignored it. He knew who it was. Resting his left palm over his heart, he concentrated on the steady rhythm. Beat... Madison. Beat... Jayden. Beat... Ellie. So on and so on. Each name became a face in his mind. A gentle reminder of why he was where he was. As had been the case since he arrived at The Recovery Center six weeks ago, his mind always lingered on Madison. The feel of her skin, her long hair falling in her face, the way her bottom lip always wedged between her teeth when she was both excited and upset, the look in her eyes as she said she loved him, the caress of her touch...
“Andrew, you coming? It’s about to start,” Jeff said at the door, interrupting Andrew’s thoughts.
“You always ask me like I have a choice,” Andrew replied, half serious, half jokin
g.
“Ahh, come on, man. We all got choices, you know that.”
Andrew side-eyed Jeff. He was tall and skinny and very much into treatment. He participated in everything possible and often harped on Andrew to join him. Jeff motioned for him and then darted out of the room. Andrew took a deep breath and rose from the bed. He glanced around before making his way out of the bedroom.
“Hey, Andrew.”
Andrew nodded at Chris, who passed him, taking the stairs three at a time. Andrew smiled and continued down the stairs to the living room where they had their group meetings. The Recovery Center (TRC) was part of the Residential Treatment and Drug Abuse Centers. There were three facilities; one in Palm Springs, which Madison and Andrew had decided was much too far away from Bakersfield, one in Culver City, and then the Recovery Center in Santa Monica. Both Santa Monica and Culver City were primarily the same distance from Bakersfield. They had reviewed both facilities and selected Santa Monica because Madison liked it better than the other one. Andrew suspected that she just didn’t want to drive to Culver City to visit him. Not that he blamed her. Santa Monica was at least interesting. Madison had hated the idea of him being gone for so long but indicated that if he was going to be away from her, then she wanted the place to be nice. She didn’t care the cost. Andrew took the stairs to the first floor, laughing at Jeff who had already reached the bottom.
“Andrew, saved you a spot, man,” Jeff stated as Andrew reached the bottom of the stairs.
“Thanks.”
Andrew nodded at Sam, Chris, and Adam. He ignored Carl who never had warmed up to him. But Andrew didn’t mind as it seemed he didn’t like anyone. Although Andrew missed Madison and thought of her all the time, he knew that he was in the right place. It surprised him that so many had similar stories. Fathers or mothers who were abusive, violent upbringings, and even prison time for at least three of the residents. Andrew wasn’t sure about Carl. In the process of his recovery, he realized that he wasn’t the only one who struggled in life. He wasn’t the only one who had found solace in drugs. It gave him hope in himself and his ability to recover. And he ended up seeing these men as kindred spirits. The circle of people he trusted was starting to grow once again.
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