by Miranda Lee
‘You mean Gerard, I suppose,’ he said drily.
‘Not just him. My brothers didn’t cook, either.’
‘I’m no great shakes, but I can grill a steak and throw a salad together.’
The telephone ringing out in the living room brought a scowl to Gareth’s face and a frown to Leah’s.
‘Who could be ringing you?’ she asked.
‘Lord only knows.’
‘Do you want me to answer it?’ she offered. ‘I have to go to the bathroom anyway.’
‘No, no, I’ll do it.’ He threw back the sheet and jumped out of bed, striding over to yank open the double sliding doors which separated the bedroom from the living area.
Leah frowned as she watched his irritated body language. He wasn’t quite as laid-back a person as she’d first thought, though not nearly as short-tempered as Gerard. Still, she supposed his passion had to come from somewhere.
He swept up the receiver, his back to her, his shoulders a little tense. ‘Yes?’ he snapped, then just listened for a while.
‘Yes, it’s very nice up here,’ he went on briskly at last. ‘No… No, I won’t be back for a while… Look, I’ll call you next week and give you a definite date… Yes, yes I do know that… Goodbye.’
He put the phone down slowly, thoughtfully.
‘Who was that?’
‘What?’
‘I said, who was that?’
‘My secretary. She wanted to know when I’d be back in Brisbane. I’d rung her, you see, saying I might be extending my stay.’
‘Are you needed back at work?’
‘They can cope without me. I have good staff.’ He walked back to the bed, sitting down on the edge and resting a gentle hand against her cheek.
‘Now that I’ve found the love of my life, I don’t want to risk it by rushing back to Brisbane. I want you all to myself for a while.’
Leah found it ironic that he should say the identical words she suddenly remembered Gerard had said to her once, but with such a different intention.
‘You just want to get me pregnant, don’t you?’ she said, covering his hand with hers and smiling up at him.
‘Do you mind?’
‘Heavens, no. It’s what I’ve always wanted, to be a mother. I’m no career girl, I’m afraid.’
‘You’ll make a wonderful mother.’
Her heart turned over at the love and admiration which shone from his eyes. She drew his hand round to her mouth and kissed it softly. ‘And you, my dearest,’ she murmured, ‘will make a wonderful father.’
‘I hope so,’ he said. ‘God, I sincerely hope so.’
Alan’s warning about her not really knowing Gareth slipped into her mind. ‘There…there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be, is there, Gareth?’ she asked a little worriedly.
‘Not really. No. Dad was a very good father, so I have a good example to follow. I was more thinking about our chances of conceiving a child together. Not everyone has a baby just because they want one.’
‘Yes, that’s true. But we’re both healthy. And I’m young. They say girls are more fertile when they’re young.’
‘Yes…yes, that’s true.’
‘And there’s no real rush, is there? It won’t matter if we don’t make a baby straight away. I mean…I do love you, Gareth, don’t get me wrong, but we have only just met. I know it seems like we’ve known each other for ever. At least, that’s how I feel about you. But the truth is we haven’t. A few days ago I didn’t even know you existed. And vice versa.’
‘No,’ he denied, his eyes boring into hers. ‘That’s not true. I did know you existed, Leah.’
The blood began draining from her face. ‘What…what do you mean?’
For a moment, one terrible moment, she thought he was going to say something which would spoil all their happiness, their love for each other. She knew she could not have borne that. Not after what Gerard had done to her.
‘Nothing bad,’ he insisted, his eyes pained as he took both her hands in his, his fingers caressing upon her. ‘I just meant I always knew a girl like you existed for me somewhere. That’s why I waited, why I never wanted anyone else as my wife, or as the mother of my children. I was waiting for you, Leah. Always you.’
‘Oh, how sweet!’ she cried, tears flooding her eyes as relief flooded her heart.
‘No, it’s you who are sweet, my darling,’ he murmured, cupping her face and kissing her mouth. ‘I love you so much. Always, remember that. Always always remember that.’
He kissed her again, and it was the sweetest, most loving kiss in the world. It soothed her soul while arousing her body. Suddenly she needed him as she had never needed him before, needed him to show her his love for her, to wipe any lingering doubts from her mind that he was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
They didn’t get round to eating that steak and salad till much, much later.
Gareth dropped Leah home at eight-thirty the next morning, giving her enough time to be showered, changed and ready for Alan’s pick-up at nine-thirty. He was dead on time and she was at the airport in minutes, with plenty of time to check in for her flight.
She managed to control her nerves pretty well till she had her boarding pass in her hands and the trip to Brisbane suddenly became a ghastly reality. A vicious attack of butterflies claimed Leah’s stomach and she almost turned and ran. The thought of actually coming face to face with Gerard once more was both horrifying and undermining to her resolve. A steadying cup of coffee made no difference. She was petrified. Only by reminding herself over and over that this would never get any easier did she propel herself onto that plane.
When it landed in Darwin and her connecting flight to Brisbane was delayed for forty minutes, Leah almost backed out again. It would be late afternoon by the time she reached Eagle Farm airport. Five at least by the time a taxi deposited her at Sunshine Enterprises.
Not that Gerard would have left the office by then. He wasn’t a nine-to-five person at the best of time. He’d never arrived home on a Monday till eight at least. Monday was his day for getting on top of things in the office. His letter, fax and phone day—catching up on everyone after the weekend and putting into motion things discussed with his sales and marketing team on the Friday.
Leah used to feel sorry for Enid on a Monday. She’d had to stay back even after Gerard left to finish what he’d dictated.
Workaholic slave-driver, she thought as she sat there in the terminal, waiting impatiently for the announcement to board.
As she waited, her eyes slid to the public phones dotted around and an awful thought intruded. What if for some reason Gerard wasn’t in his office? What if his routine had changed during the last six months?
Suddenly Leah had to find out. Perhaps she was looking for an out, a reason not to go, an excuse not to face Gerard. No matter. She just had to know.
Jumping up from her seat, she hurried over to the nearest empty phone cubicle. She only had three dollars forty in change and hoped that would be enough.
Luckily, Enid answered her phone fairly quickly.
‘Enid, this is Leah,’ she said swiftly, her heart hammering away like a jackhammer. ‘I can’t talk for long. I don’t have much money. Just tell me if Gerard will be in the office around five.’
‘Yes. Yes, I see no reason why he shouldn’t be. Why, Leah?’
‘Because I’m going to be there around then. Maybe a little later. Only please don’t tell him that. Promise!’
‘I promise.’
‘Thanks, Enid. I knew I could rely on you. Have to go. My money’s running out.’
Leah hung up, her hands shaking.
She felt sick.
He was there.
She had no excuse not to go.
Oh, God…
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
LEAH’S nerves had reached unbearable proportions by the time the plane landed in Brisbane, her stomach revolving in eddies of nausea. As soon as she got off the plane she rushed to t
he ladies’ room and into one of the cubicles, gagging as she leant over the toilet bowel.
Nothing came except a small amount of bile. Understandable, considering she hadn’t eaten a thing all day.
Five minutes later she emerged from the cubicle, pale and shaky. She looped her overnight bag over her shoulder and struggled over to the washbasins, where a few splashes of cool water over her face and mouth made her feel marginally better. The large mirror wall above still showed dark-ringed eyes within her pasty complexion. Smothering a groan, she leant against the basin in front of her, her head drooping.
‘You all right, dear?’
Leah’s head jerked up and round to find an elderly lady looking at her with real concern in her kind eyes.
‘Yes,’ she croaked. ‘Yes, I’m fine.’
‘You don’t look very well.’
‘I’ll be all right in a minute. Just a touch of motion sickness.’
‘Well, look after yourself, dear. You’re not getting straight back on a plane today, are you?’
‘No. Not till tomorrow.’
‘Then I’d take a tablet before you do, if I were you.’
‘Yes, yes, I will,’ she said, thinking to herself that there wasn’t a tablet to cure what ailed her. She was on her way to see Gerard, her husband, the man she’d once loved to distraction and whom she’d thought she was over, had thought she could face without any danger of breaking down, or worse…of feeling anything in any way for him at all.
Now she wasn’t so sure. Her head was whirling with so many ghastly possibilities. What if she took one look at him and felt what she used to feel? What if, with one fell swoop, her love for Gareth was smashed to pieces, if he proved to be the illusion, not Gerard?
Common sense told her that couldn’t be. She loved Gareth. She knew she did. He had the sort of qualities she respected and admired. He was a warm, caring human being, whereas his brother evoked nothing but contempt for his cold-blooded ways.
Stop acting like a little ninny, she lectured her reflection in the mirror. Pull yourself together! Get a grip! Keep reminding yourself what he did to you. Any superficial physical attraction you might feel for him will be just that. Superficial. Think of him as nothing more than a reflection in a mirror.
Gareth’s reflection. He might look the same as Gareth, but he’s nothing like him. Gerard’s the illusion. Always remember that.
Leah straightened her spine, breathing slowly and deeply. Gradually her head cleared and her eyes focused on her appearance. Too young-looking, she decided.
Balancing her bag next to the basin, she rifled through to find her brush and make-up bag. A few minutes later her reflection got the nod of approval. Much better. Her hair up in a sophisticated knot. Her green eyes rimmed in black. Red lipstick on her mouth.
She looked five years older already.
Pity about her clothes. Blue jeans and a red T-shirt were hardly power-dressing, despite the colour. She could have done with the red linen Chanel suit hanging in her wardrobe back at Kangaroo Point. Now that would have been power-dressing at its best!
Power…
That was the word which worried Leah the most.
Not love. Power. She could reason it was Gareth she loved, and not Gerard. But what of the power Gerard had once had over her, the power of his personality, his sex appeal, his ruthlessness? The very things which her mind told her she now hated had once enslaved both her senses and her will. She had been putty in his hands. No doubt about that.
But that was then and this is now, she reaffirmed as she moved from the ladies’ out to the taxi rank. You’re a different person after six months fending for yourself all over the world. You’re stronger, more independent, more assertive. You know what you want out of life and it isn’t Gerard. He was a hopeless husband and he would have been an even more hopeless father, whereas Gareth will be perfect as both! Time to seize the day, darling. Time to finish with the past and forge your own future.
Leah’s courage and resolve remained strong till she stepped out of the taxi and walked into the cavernous foyer of the glass skyscraper which housed Sunshine Enterprises on its breathtakingly imposing top floor. At that point both began to dissolve. She managed to hold onto a modicum of composure in the lift, which was just as well, for as the lift doors whooshed back on the top floor she was met by a potentially undermining situation.
Several of Sunshine Enterprises’ employees—whom she knew by sight—were standing there, waiting to take the lift down. It was, after all, just after five, departure time for most of the general office staff, only the executives and their PAs regularly working overtime. They all gawked at Leah. She wished the floor would open and swallow her up.
Still, their gawking served to put some much needed gelatin in her knees, and steel in her spine. With a cool smile, she stepped out of the lift and strode off down the plushly carpeted corridor which led down to Gerard’s suite of rooms.
The false show of confidence had a welcome effect on Leah. She actually began to feel more confident as she moved along with her head held high, firmness in her step. She wasn’t just pretending. It was a wonderfully reassuring feeling, and it came at just the right time.
This building—with all its elegance and grandeur—had once had an overwhelming effect on her. She’d been so impressed by Gerard’s lifestyle. Awed, even. Glancing around, she now saw the trappings of success for what they were. Traps.
Squaring her shoulders, Leah kept on walking till the deep blue carpet was finally blocked by grey double doors with a security intercom panel in the wall. Before five, these doors were always wide open and led into a huge reception area staffed by a cool blonde in her late thirties, whose job it was to keep impatient businessmen at ease while waiting for the chronically busy boss of Sunshine Enterprises to see them. Leah had always been jealous of Gloria, till she’d found out the glamorous receptionist was happily married with three sons.
Some butterflies returned as Leah pressed the intercom button, but she controlled them fairly well.
Enid’s crisply efficient voice came through loud and clear. ‘Is that you, Leah?’
‘Yes.’
Leah heard the lock on the door click back.
‘The door’s open. Come on straight through.’
The spacious reception area was dimly lit, Gloria’s wide semicircular desk starkly empty. The air-conditioning felt cold. Everything was quiet. So very, very quiet. Nerve-wrackingly so.
Gulping down the lump in her throat, Leah closed the door behind her and walked slowly towards the door which led into Enid’s own spacious office. Those awful old fears crowded back during that relatively short walk, the same fears which had inspired Leah’s flight in the first place.
Please, God, don’t let me look at Gerard and feel anything but contempt, she prayed. But more than anything, please, God, just let him let me go!
Worry that he wouldn’t do any such thing halted her step in front of the door, her hand seemingly in slow motion as it moved towards the knob. Suddenly the door was wrenched open, Enid’s normally composed face quite flushed. ‘I was beginning to worry you might have run away again,’ she said agitatedly.
Leah stiffened. ‘I haven’t come all this way, just to run away again,’ she said with a large dollop of false bravado. ‘Gerard still in his office?’
‘Yes.’
‘Oh.’ No escape, then. She had to go in. ‘Don’t…don’t leave, Enid,’ she blurted out, all her bravado gone. ‘Promise me. Stay right here so you can hear me if I call out to you.’
Enid’s eyes widened. ‘You’re not frightened of Gerard, are you?’
‘Don’t you think I have reason to be? He’s a ruthless man, Enid. You should appreciate that more than most. You’ve seen the way he operates. He’s not a man to be crossed. Not a man who would forget or forgive lightly. I know that now more than ever,’ she said bitterly, thinking of his relationship with his mother and brother, the way he had callously cut them both out of his life. ‘
He must be very angry with me. He probably hates me.’
Enid was frowning and shaking her head. ‘Gerard does not hate you, Leah. He would never harm you in any way.’
‘That’s what I believed. Once. Just like I believed he loved me. But I no longer take things at face value. I look beyond the façade these days.’
Enid sighed. ‘I do hope so, my dear. I do hope so.’
Leah picked up the strange ambivalence in Enid’s reply. ‘I always thought you didn’t like Gerard,’ she said accusingly. ‘That you believed I was a silly little fool for marrying him!’
‘I have to admit I did.’
‘Then don’t start defending him now,’ Leah said sharply. She was sick and tired of unlikely people defending Gerard. ‘He’s not expecting me, is he?’
‘How could he be?’
‘You might have warned him I was coming.’
‘No. I didn’t.’
‘Good. Because I want the black-hearted devil to get a damned good shock when I walk in there. I don’t want him having any time to get that devious mind of his working, thinking he can con me a second time.’
‘I don’t think for one minute he thinks that, Leah,’ Enid said quite sadly.
Leah threw her an irritated look, whirled and stormed into Gerard’s office before her temper cooled, along with her courage. All the wind was taken out of her sails, however, when Gerard glanced up idly from his desk at her dramatic entrance, his body language betraying nothing but the mildest of surprises. Not a trace of anger. Nothing but a wry acceptance of her sudden reappearance.
‘Well, well,’ he murmured, leaning back into his black leather chair and eyeing her slowly up and down. ‘If it isn’t Leah. My fugitive bride. To what do I owe this change of heart? In your letter you informed me you never wanted to see me again.’
Leah swallowed, aware that her heart was racing in her chest. And no longer just from temper. Damn the man! Why could he make her feel like this?
One cool glance and she was trembling inside. It had to be old tapes, playing in her head, she reasoned desperately. She couldn’t still be in love with him. Impossible!