by Ivy Smoak
"He wanted to play football. Did you know that? That was his dream."
I shook my head. He had never told me that. He loved watching the Giants games with Rob. That was one of their favorite things to do together. But I never knew he wanted to be playing. "He never told me."
"My parents made him quit the team in high school because they thought it was a waste of time. They had this way of sucking out all the joy from his life. Like they found pleasure in it. No matter what James did, he wasn't good enough for them. He was always wrong. They beat him down. I played baseball in high school and college and Jen was into drama club. And James had to watch us do whatever we wanted to. I think that hurt him too. It wasn't just that my parents didn't let him do the stuff he loved, it's that they always made it seem like they liked him the least, you know? By not letting him do anything he wanted. But they got what they wanted, I guess. A genius techie who doesn't speak to them. Their loss right?" Rob set his empty beer down on the coffee table.
I remembered the first speech that James had given in my Comm class. He had said he had wished he could be more like his sister...fearless. "Didn't he ever stand up to them?" I thought about the paper I had seen in his copy of Harry Potter. He was trying to get emancipated.
"Yeah. With Rachel. I lied to you the other day when you asked about Rachel. It wasn't just young love. He was obsessed with her. I think she felt the same about him. They spent every second they could together. So of course, my parents wanted to ruin that too. Even after they told him he had to choose between her and them paying for college, he held onto that relationship. They still talked in private. He promised her that once he got enough money, they could be together again. But then halfway through college, she just stopped talking to him. She refused to take his calls. She said it was over, without any explanation. That's when he really lost it. I think he saw a way out of his life with her. An escape or something. I don't really know. He was a mess. He just snapped. He hit rock bottom. He gave up on life."
That wasn't the story James had told me. He said their relationship had stopped when he had to choose between her and college. "And when he went to see her last week?"
"Did my parents really try to pay you five million dollars to walk away from James?"
I was surprised that James had told him that. "Yeah."
Rob shook his head. "I don't think James realized how far they'd go to get what they want."
I shrugged. "What does this have to do with him visiting Rachel?"
"When you told James that they tried to pay you off...he thought maybe the same thing had happened with her. He thought they had paid her off too. That's why she suddenly didn't care about him anymore."
I remembered James' reaction when I had told him about his parents trying to pay me off. It kind of looked like he was realizing something for the first time. I thought he was just realizing how evil his parents really were. But he was realizing why Rachel abandoned him. "Why wouldn't he tell me that?"
"I don't know. He only went to go see her to confirm his suspicion. That was it. It wasn't because he still has feelings for her. He would never cheat on you, Penny."
"And? Was he right?"
Rob nodded. "They only offered her one million to walk away. She took the money without a second thought."
"That's awful."
"It's certainly fucked up."
I took another sip of my beer. No wonder James felt like no one ever loved him. The love of his life chose money over him. Maybe she had only ever been with him for his money. The love of his life. Was she? Was Isabella? It didn't feel like I was anymore. "He looked so happy to see her."
"He just needed closure."
"Maybe."
"Penny, he loved her once, but not as much as he loves you now. Tonight was the only time I've ever seen him more upset than the day Rachel called things off. I know he probably said some stuff he didn't mean, but he needs you, Penny. I don't want to see him hit rock bottom again. You fixed him."
"I didn't. This place did. Teaching. He should be a professor again. He loved teaching."
"If you think that's what saved him, you're lying to yourself. I've never seen him happier than when he's with you. He was even agitated during his bachelor party because you two weren't together. He needs you and only you."
"So, he's addicted to me. I can't..."
"No. Penny, he's devoted to you. There is a huge difference."
I bit my lip. I wanted James to be here telling me these things. But Rob was right, there was a huge difference. If it was true though, James wouldn't have said those things to me. He wouldn't have told me to leave. "I'm not sure he is anymore."
"Look, if I didn't think what you had was real, you'd already be naked in my bed."
I laughed.
"Seriously. I know it's because you're cold, but your nipples are so hard right now and I'm having trouble not staring."
"Shit." I put my beer down and crossed my arms in front of my chest again.
Rob laughed. "And if James wasn't a fucking mess tonight, I also wouldn't have..." Rob picked up his phone "...17 missed calls from him."
"Does he know you're with me?"
"I haven't told him. Do you want me to?"
I swallowed hard. "No. Not yet. I just need some time."
Rob slid his phone back into his pocket. "Then I won't. But time is one thing you don't have much of. I already rented my tux for the wedding and I hate wasting money."
"I thought James paid for the tux rentals?"
"That's beside the point. Now, how about that pizza? And I'm sure I have a bra that's your size. 32 B, right?"
"Why do you know that?"
"I know things." He got up off the couch. "By the way, I saw you staring at the kitchen counter like you were remembering being fucked against it. I've always wondered...exactly how many places in this apartment did you bang my brother?"
I looked around the apartment. "None of the guest bedrooms."
"You're both disgusting." He laughed and disappeared into his room.
I pulled out my phone. James hadn't called me at all. I wasn't mad at him anymore. I was just sad. If he called, I'd answer it in a heartbeat. Call me. Say something. Anything. Give me something to hold onto.
Chapter 30
Friday
When I woke up, I had almost forgotten where I was. I expected to open my eyes and be in my apartment with James. Instead, my head was resting on Rob's shoulder on the couch. We were both sitting up and his arm was wrapped around my shoulders. He always joked around about sexual stuff, but Rob really was like a brother to me. And he had been there for me when I needed him. I quietly ducked out from under his arm.
He groaned in his sleep. His ankles were crossed and his feet were on the coffee table. He must have been uncomfortable but he had stayed with me instead of going to his bed. I really hoped this wasn't the last time I'd get to see him.
I grabbed my phone. There were still no calls from James. If he hadn't meant what he said, wouldn't he have contacted me by now? The reality seemed even more alarming than it had last night. Rain was pounding against the windows, somehow reminding me of what I had just lost. I wanted to see James, but I knew I couldn't. He had to be the one to reach out to me. He was the one that had told me to disappear. So instead of going to him, I'd go to a place where it would feel like I was close to him.
I walked into Rob's closet. I had been wearing high heels last night and I didn't want to change back into my dress. There were a pair of girly flip flops in Rob's closet. Those would do. I slid them on even though they were a little too big. Taking something from Rob's closet reminded me of when I had run back to my dorm in just one of James' t-shirts. I would never forget those memories. Even the bad ones just seemed good now. Because they were with him.
Rob groaned in his sleep again. I didn't want to be here when he woke up. He needed to go back to New York. James was the one that needed him right now. Not me. I was stronger than James seemed to realize.
<
br /> I glanced at the clock on the oven as I walked toward the elevator doors. It was only 6 a.m. The coffee shop wouldn't be open for another hour. But I didn't care. I'd just stand outside. I just needed to be there. It felt like I was being drawn to it. I needed to remember the best day of my life.
Before I pressed the elevator button, I froze. I'd do anything for James. If he asked me to jump, I'd jump. He knew that. He knew how much I cared. And he had asked me to disappear. He knew I'd do it for him. I looked down at the ring on my finger. He hadn't called. He hadn't reached out to me at all. This was what he wanted. I loved him. I loved him so much. And if this was what he wanted, I'd give it to him. I pulled the ring off my finger and set it down on the kitchen counter. If James needed me to disappear, I'd disappear.
TO BE CONTINUED...
What happens next? Penny and Professor Hunter's sexy story continues in DEVOTION. Available this fall. Join Ivy Smoak's newsletter to be the first to know when the next part is available!
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City of Sin
Discover Bee and Mason's story in CITY OF SIN by Ivy Smoak.
Nothing seems to be going Bee's way. She's been knocked down by her ex, her job, and the city in general. Could a blind date really be the start to the much needed change she's been hoping for?
When Bee is already running late, a sexy stranger steals her cab. And once she finally arrives at the restaurant and finds out that he's her date, the night takes an unexpected turn. Maybe this sexy stranger is exactly what she's needed this whole time...
Except Mason Caldwell is not a good man. A renowned playboy, heir to his family's fortune, and willing to do whatever it takes to make his dreams come true, he's not looking for a change. He's looking for vengeance. And a woman he barely knows is definitely not going to get in his way. But he can't stop thinking about her.
Sometimes you don't know what you really want until it's right in front of you.
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The Tutor
Let your imagination run wild...in the new sexy short story THE TUTOR by Ivy Smoak.
Sophia has had a crush on Wyatt every since they've met. Tutoring him at the library once a week has been the highlight of her semester. But their sexual tension has been slowly torturing her. Wyatt is sexy, funny, flirtatious, and as far as she can tell - completely unattainable.
When it is time for their last tutoring session, she worries it will be the last time she will ever get to see him. She's determined to not let that happen. Dreaming about him and watching him from a distance at his baseball games isn't going to cut it.
But will she have the confidence to confess her true feelings?
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Also by Ivy Smoak
Like this book? Want more? Check out these other books by Ivy Smoak!
Novels
Temptation (The Hunted Series Book 1)
Addiction (The Hunted Series Book 2)
Eruption (The Hunted Series Book 3)
Playing a Player
City of Sin
Novellas
Emergency Plan F
Layla's Forecast
Blue Parrot Resort
A Christmas Wish
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Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is purely coincidental.
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system without the express written permission of Ivy Smoak.
ASIN: B01D917CL6
Cover art copyright © 2016 by Ivy Smoak
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2016 ebook Edition
Copyright © 2016 by Ivy Smoak
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