Sixteen Steps to Fall in Love

by Liz Isaacson

  And now she’d lost Boone. Because of her love affair with her anger and her unwillingness to forgive, she’d lost Boone.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Boone poured himself into his marathon training. With only a month to go until the marathon, he couldn’t afford to slack on his diet and exercise regimen. Which was just fine, because he didn’t have anything else motivating him anymore.

  He ignored Nicole at work as much as possible. A week after he’d stopped by her house and they’d broken up, he entered the clinic a few minutes late.

  “There you are.” Nicole stormed from her office, her anger like a scent on the wind.

  “Here I am.” He tried to edge to the right and get down the hall to his office, and fast, because her anger floated on the air the way the scent of maple syrup and butter did down by the pancake house.

  “Your paperwork from last night is incomplete.” She slapped it against his chest.

  Joanne stood. “Nicole.”

  Nicole silenced her with a glare. Theo and Jack, who both helped with the animals in the clinic, entered the reception area. Theo stopped talking to Jack and they watched the scene before them.

  “I’ll finish it.” Boone took the paperwork, unsure of what he’d missed. Whatever it was, he’d figure it out behind the closed door of his office. He turned and started toward the hall Theo and Jack were currently blocking.

  “Do you need help reading it?” Nicole asked.

  Time slowed as Boone turned, as Nicole said, “What with your dyslexia and all.”

  The knife of her words went straight into his heart, twisted, and got pulled out. He struggled for air as a blazing pain shot through his chest and into his head.

  Joanne gasped and stared at Boone, and Theo and Jack scuffled their feet behind him.

  He had no idea what he’d done to Nicole that was so horrible. All he knew was she was not the same person he’d fallen in love with. She wasn’t even the same, awful person he’d encountered when he first moved here.

  No, this version of the blonde-haired beauty he loved was vindictive and vicious. Way more than annoyance wound through him. Hurt. Humiliation. He glanced at Joanne and then back to Nicole.

  “I can handle it,” he said, ducking his head. He turned to find Theo’s and Jack’s eyes on him too, wide and wondering. He squeezed past them and went into his office, his already broken heart completely crushed.

  He dialed Cash as soon as he locked the door behind him. “Hey, Doctor Drew,” he started. “Is that job still available in Amarillo?” Boone twisted in his chair, sure it was time to move on. He couldn’t stay here in Three Rivers and keep working with Nicole. The pain was too real, too immediate, never-ending.

  Especially now that she’d been downright cruel to him. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what he’d done to deserve such treatment. He wondered if her siblings had done something recently, if her mama had digressed further, or if her embarrassment over the Christmas program was really that upsetting to her.

  If it was, she’d never forgive him for pushing her to sing in the choir, for coming up on the stand as if he could assist her.

  Something she’d said about his father’s questions over Thanksgiving popped into his mind. He wanted to know if you’d interfered in my life yet.

  The air left Boone’s lungs. He had. He had interfered in her life, and that was why she hated him now.

  Definitely time to move on, he thought as Cash said, “I haven’t found a partner yet.”

  “I’m already on my way,” Boone said. He made arrangements to meet with Cash in a couple of weeks, just before the marathon, and hung up. He made it through the day without encountering Nicole again, even when he’d corrected his paperwork and stopped by her office to drop it off. He tossed it on her desk and made a hasty escape.

  At home, he started a moving checklist, with items like “reserve a Dumpster” and “order boxes.” He spent an hour on the Internet looking for somewhere to live in Amarillo. Through it all, a sense of discomfort threaded through him. He’d never felt like this before, like what he was doing wasn’t right.

  He’d left home with a bounce in his step and bright eyes for the future despite his father’s warnings and his mother’s sad countenance. He’d sacrificed sleep so he could study when his roommates wouldn’t be able to see his struggle to read and been nothing but happy in college. He’d come to Three Rivers though the town was a bit too small for his tastes, his extended family a bit too close for comfort, and the possibilities endless and his opportunities wide open.

  And he’d fallen in love with the town. Nicole. Riding horses out at Three Rivers. The ranch. His cousin and the community Squire had built.

  The people of Three Rivers—and their pets. Even the pastor. He chuckled at the irony of it and let his thoughts linger on his family. They’d always been faithful, and though Boone had deviated from that for a short time, he’d enjoyed his return to church, to God.

  What should I be doing? he pleaded. I can’t stay here. But is Amarillo where I’m supposed to go?

  He half-hoped the house would shake and a voice of thunder would detail exactly what he should do. Of course it didn’t. God often spoke in a quiet way. So quiet, Boone had to really be listening to hear Him.

  He strained for the slightest whisper of direction as he accomplished a couple of items on his list and headed to bed. Lord Vader and Princess Leia jumped onto the bed with him, and he cradled one on each side.

  “At least you guys still like me, right?”

  Vader put his head in Boone’s lap and peered up at him with doleful dog eyes. It seemed like he was asking where Nicole was, and a knot of emotion worked its way into Boone’s throat.

  He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried, but he felt like emptying all this turmoil inside him and crying seemed to be the best way to do that. But the tears didn’t come. His agony went on and on, and the fact that Nicole had thrown his biggest weakness to the wolves drove fury through him with the force of gravity.

  “We can’t stay here,” he said to the dogs. Neither of them answered, but Leia snuggled in closer and he stroked her head. “I think you guys will like it in Amarillo.”

  The real question was if Boone would like it in Amarillo—and if it was far enough away from Nicole to mend his broken heart.

  He didn’t have to tell Nicole he was leaving Puppy Pawz or Three Rivers, so he didn’t. He could put the place up for sale without her expertise or knowledge.

  Telling Squire about the move was the hardest, but he handled it well with a simple, “I’m sorry to hear that, Boone. What’s next for you?”

  A pang of homesickness hit Boone square in the chest. He took an extra moment to compose himself before he said, “I’m looking to go to Amarillo for a while.”

  “Amarillo’s a nice place,” he said.

  “Sure is.” Boone smiled, the urge to call his mother growing stronger by the moment. His mother had grown up in Amarillo, and both of his grandparents had lived there for years and years. They’d run the seed and feed shop where his parents had met, and one of her sisters still managed the place.

  “Well, I suppose we’ll just need a forwarding address. You can leave it with Garth. He’ll get you your last paycheck.” Squire looked at him, his eyes narrowed. “You sure you can’t make the drive a couple times a week? You can just stay on.”

  “I don’t know what it’ll be like in Amarillo,” Boone said. “I’m meeting with him when I go for the marathon.”

  “Well, the door’s always open,” Squire said.

  “Thank you,” Boone said. “I’ve sure enjoyed my time here in Three Rivers.” His voice broke on the last word and he finished the conversation quickly. Back in the safety of his truck, he ran his hands over his beard and up to his head. He felt lost. Nothing more. Nothing less.

  A stranger in a strange land, he thought, wondering how he’d gone from knowing exactly what he wanted—to spend the rest of his days with Nicole
in Three Rivers—to feeling like someone had scooped him out with a melon baller.

  On his last day at Puppy Pawz, he waited until Nicole went to lunch before gathering everyone into the lobby. He handed Joanne a piece of paper with his new address in Amarillo on it and turned to the people he’d worked with for almost twenty months.

  He grinned at them while Joanne brought out the cupcakes he’d picked up at the bakery that morning. “It’s my last day though the place hasn’t sold yet,” he said. “It will. I know it will. There’s already an offer that’s supposed to be coming in.”

  Boone just hadn’t been able to accept Louis Whitby’s offer quite yet, though it was fair. He’d been toying with the idea of keeping Puppy Pawz and just employing Louis as the vet. But that would require a lot of conversation with Nicole, and well, she and Boone weren’t exactly on speaking terms.

  He cleared his throat, wishing his thoughts were as easily organized. “And I wanted to say goodbye.” He went around to each person and handed them a note he’d written for them. “I’ve enjoyed working with each of you.”

  It felt wrong that he hadn’t told Nicole about this goodbye party, that he’d deliberately waited until she was out of the office to hand out treats and cards.

  “I wrote these myself,” he said. “No computer. So if you have trouble reading them, I apologize.” He looked at Joanne and put a smile on his face that wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be. “Sometimes my dyslexia isn’t kind when I’m writing.”

  “Boone,” Joanne said, tears brimming in her eyes. “We’ll miss you.” She clutched him in a tight hug. “No one cares about the dyslexia.”

  “Nicole does,” he whispered, stepping back and meeting Joanne’s gaze.

  A tear fell and she swiped at it. “She’ll come around. She just needs—”

  “Please don’t tell her where I went,” he said, nodding to that piece of paper she’d laid casually on her desk. “If I wanted her to know, I’d tell her.”

  Joanne sniffed and nodded, tucking the paper under a notebook and turning to wipe her eyes.

  Boone enjoyed half a cupcake with his co-workers and friends and then took a couple of boxes from his office to his car. He turned back to Puppy Pawz and gave it one final look before ducking into his car and driving away.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Nicole arrived at her parents’ house by nine o’clock on Saturday morning, beyond relieved it was the weekend. And Boone spent Monday at the ranch, so Nicole had the next seventy-two hours where she could at least breathe without wondering if he’d walk in and confront her.

  Pure guilt pulled her stomach tight as she walked through the front door. She leaned in the doorway for support, still shocked at her behavior. She honestly couldn’t remember outing Boone’s dyslexia to the staff at Puppy Pawz, but Joanne insisted she had.

  The next time she’d looked at Boone, she’d seen the raw pain in his eyes, the horrible hurt, and Nicole knew she’d done what Joanne had said she had. She needed to apologize, but she didn’t know how. He wouldn’t forgive her anyway. Some things were unforgivable.

  If she could get out to Three Rivers Ranch and Courage Reins, she and Doughnut could work out a conversation she could have with Boone that included an apology. Maybe even a declaration of her love for him.

  But she knew she’d never go out there by herself. That would almost be as painful as the past few weeks had been.

  Mama slept in the recliner, and Nicole tried to rouse her. Mama didn’t move. Concern spiked through her and she nudged her mother’s shoulder. Nothing.

  “Daddy?” she called, but he didn’t come from the kitchen.

  Fear Nicole had only felt one other time in her life—after she’d discovered that she’d humiliated Boone in the clinic—ran through her body like someone had replaced her blood with ice water. She left her non-responsive mother’s side and checked the kitchen.

  Empty. Daddy wasn’t in the house or the backyard, but Nicole hadn’t noticed that the car wasn’t in the driveway. She looked now, and sure enough, her father’s twenty-year-old car with the wood paneling was gone.

  Nicole didn’t know what to do next. Daddy never left Mama home alone. Maybe he’d panicked when he couldn’t rouse her.

  “Why don’t you have a cell phone?” she asked, her voice so high-pitched she wondered if she was even herself anymore. She didn’t feel like herself. She hadn’t since the Christmas program.

  And she didn’t like who she’d become in the months since. She glanced up into the stormy sky. “What do I do now?”

  No one answered. The neighborhood stayed as peaceful and quiet as it had always been. Nicole raged inside, her nerves teeming and tears streaming down her cheeks.

  All at once, she calmed. The sun broke through the clouds for a few seconds, and Nicole knew what to do.

  Mama first. Boone second.

  She had some damage to undo and she could only hope that it wasn’t irreparable.

  Straightening her shoulders and wiping her face, she returned to the house, where she dialed 911.

  She paced in her parents’ living room, her mind racing through the serenity of the neighborhood. Then the ambulance arrived, and the paramedics began asking questions, and Daddy showed up with a bag of bagels from the bakery.

  He went in the ambulance with Mama, and Nicole sat behind the wheel of her car, the road between Three Rivers and Amarillo miles and miles longer than it usually was. She parked near the emergency entrance, but she couldn’t get herself to go inside. The sedan provided safety, and Nicole couldn’t break the seal and pop that bubble.

  Not without Boone, who had driven her to this hospital last time she’d been here.

  A sense of hopelessness nearly drowned her, a feeling she hadn’t experienced in a while. Since giving up her dreams and staying in Three Rivers. At least she didn’t start crying again. She’d spent so much time crying lately, and she wanted to be stronger than that.

  She wanted to be better than she was.

  A better singer.

  A better office administrator.

  A better girlfriend.

  A better human being.

  She opened the door and started with one step at a time toward the emergency entrance.

  One step, she told herself. One more. And then another.

  Mama stayed in the hospital, unresponsive but alive. She’d fallen into a coma, and the doctors weren’t sure why. Daddy wouldn’t leave her side, but Nicole found she couldn’t just sit in that tiny room, with those beige walls, the humming machines, the nurses coming in and out with no new results.

  She left Sunday night and returned to her house, where she spent a long time in the shower, trying to get the stench of the hospital out of her hair. After all, she couldn’t wait until Tuesday to see Boone—and she certainly didn’t want her desperate and heartfelt apology to happen at Puppy Pawz, even behind his closed office door.

  The very idea of going to his house and pouring out her heart to him, begging him to forgive her, made a fearsome tremor shake her entire body. She towel dried her hair, piled it on her head, and slipped into a pair of yoga pants and her favorite oversized sweatshirt.

  The neighbors had taken Taz and Valcor, and she left them there, rationalizing that another hour wouldn’t matter. She drove slowly, the blocks passing quickly, which made no sense.

  She knew as soon as she pulled up to Boone’s that he wasn’t home. All his windows sat in darkness, but she pulled into his driveway anyway. She got out of the car and stepped down the front walk.

  That was when she saw the For Sale sign staked in the front yard.

  She froze, everything in her going numb. Was he gone already? How could he be gone and she not know?

  Please don’t let him be gone, she begged as she pulled out her phone.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Boone’s phone rang, and the sight of Nicole’s face on the screen simultaneously sent his heart to the top of his skull and to the bottom of his fee
t.

  He ignored the call. When she called again, he determined to leave his phone in his apartment as he went for his second run of the day. He normally wouldn’t do that, especially in a new city and on a ten-mile-run.

  And he couldn’t this time either. He silenced the phone and stuck it in the pocket of his hydration backpack. Responsibility first, he thought.

  “Come on, guys,” he said to the dogs, and they trotted to him from the giant window that overlooked the park. He put on their harnesses and leashed them before entering the hallway. He didn’t want to upset the elderly lady down the hall, and though he’d only lived in this apartment for two days, he knew if he let Vader even take one step into the hallway while he wasn’t on the leash that Mrs. Dennis would tattle to the HOA board.

  Princess Leia wouldn’t ride the elevator, so Boone took them down the stairs and started his circuit around the park. He couldn’t find his rhythm, his thoughts circulating around the two phone calls.

  What could she possibly want from him? She hadn’t spoken to him—truly spoken to him—in a long time. Before they broke up even. He thought of the wedding in her backyard, the twinkling tea lights and how they’d lit her eyes with a glow so sexy Boone hadn’t been able to draw a full breath.

  He thought of her reassurances on the way home from Thanksgiving in Grape Seed Falls. The way her whole face had lit up at the dam and then the lake in Hill Country.

  He thought about how much he’d told her, and what she’d shared with him. The love he had for her was still there, still choking him, still alive.

  He stopped halfway through his run, unable to regulate his breathing and get in the right zone. Frustration rose to the back of his throat, coating it with bitterness. The marathon was in six days. He couldn’t afford to abandon his training schedule because of a phone call.