Reese's jaw hung stupidly open. “You kept my tables under my name?” She asked, her mind struggling to wrap its head around a kind of kindness like that.
Maria just nodded. “Yes and now will you please do me a favor and come inside so that I can finish my work and go home?”
Reese bit her lip and, with a Herculean effort, wrapped her fingers around Maria's hand. Maria then pulled her up, yanking her away from the ground. Reese winced at the sensation of her butt screaming for the comfort and familiarity of the cold asphalt. She shook her left leg to dispel the pins-and-needles sensation dominating her muscles, then did the same with her right. By the time she had done all of this, she looked up to find that Maria had already reached the door of the restaurant and was holding the door open, her frown telling Reese that she needed to hurry up. Reese sighed, ignoring the ache in her legs and following her back into the restaurant.
Once inside, she was pleased to find that Frank was not sitting in his usual place at the hostess stand, and thus, she would be able to avoid him that much easier. She stopped in front of the door, breathing in the warm air, stained with the aroma of the food the kitchen worked rapidly to get rid of as well as the soils of napkins and table cloths. Ripe wine hung in the air, the smell climbing its way up her nose and settling in her head. She felt exposed in this environment, as if these sights and smells, these familiarities played on her vulnerabilities. Outside, in the cool rain, she could pretend as if none of this had ever happened, she could pretend that all that grief that welled up inside of her; that grief that made it impossible for her to think straight, let alone, function as a human being, belonged to a life that was not her own. But here, in this place she had known so well; in this place where it had all begin, it was that much harder to pretend.
“Okay, well will you at least help me with our cut work?” Maria demanded in her shrill voice.
In fact, she had been trying to get Reese's attention for quite some time now and Reese hadn't even noticed. When she looked up, she found her standing in the center of the threshold between the floor and the back hallway that led to the kitchen and the backroom. Reese found herself nodding at this, and before she could register making any decisions, she was already following her into the kitchen. “Where is everybody?” She asked once she got into the kitchen and found that only one cook remained.
Maria glanced back at her without even slowing down. “Do you even realize what time it is?” She asked.
Reese shook her head.
Maria scoffed. “It's almost two in the morning, Reese. You've kept me here until two in the morning.”
Reese cocked her head to one side. “Wait, what is taking you so long to get out? I don't understand.” She replied. She internally kicked herself at her inability to speak with real inflection, or to at least pretend that she cared about things.
Maria ducked her head. “Are you serious?” She then gestured at a wash-bin full of dirty silverware. “Run that through the dishwasher.” She ordered.
As Reese did as she was told, Maria explained herself. “I had eight tables going when I was cut off the floor, which, mind you was after everyone else anyway. So, I'm still here because I was running the floor when everyone else got to do fun things.... like their cut work. So now, you're gonna help me, because if you don't, I might as well sleep here.”
Reese gulped, her eyes wide with remorse. She couldn't believe she had let herself, that she was still letting herself be so emotional about this. “I'm sorry.” She mumbled. She though about explaining the problem, about telling her about the hefty check in her pocket, or the two billionaires that were vying for her affection and about how she could bring herself to want neither one of them, but the mere idea clashed catastrophically with the last one on one conversation they had had, which essentially consisted of Maria complaining about how terrible her love-life had become. Before she could even really decide, she just grabbed the rack of silverware and rushed it over to the dishwasher. Once she had slammed the door shut and started the cycle, she turned to find Maria staring at her, an eyebrow raised in speculation. “Are you okay?” She then asked.
Reese bit her lip, her stomach lurching at this question. The last thing she wanted to do was answer to other people's speculation on her mental state. She cleared her throat in a revealing way. “Yeah. I'm fine. It's nothing.” She replied, before brushing past her into the kitchen.
She found a comfortable spot leaning against the counter as she waited for the silverware to wash. The whole time she exhausted herself, trying not to let her mind wander back to that decision that could change her life forever.
Before not too long, the last remaining cook slipped out of his apron and hung it next to the five others on the hook next to the door. He tipped his hat at Reese, then disappeared around the corner. She tried her best to force a light smile, but it came off more as a grimace than anything else.
“So, are you ever going to tell me why you just jumped ship like a crazy person?” Maria asked as she wobbled towards her with a full rack of dripping silverware.
Reese smirked at this unnecessary question. She was overflowing with a emotion as millions of questions and impulses bounced their way around her head. The pressure of it all made her feel as if she was going to explode at any moment. That coupled with Maria's uncanny ability to force information out of people made it practically inevitable that she would eventually learn what was going on in the back of her head. She sucked in a deep breath, her gaze shifting from Maria's expectant expression to the harsh fluorescent lighting above her head. She furrowed her brow and muttered, “Can we roll somewhere else?”
Chapter 26
Maria nodded and laboriously turned around, leading Reese out of the kitchen and into the now-empty, now dimly lit dining room. As the two of them sat in one of the booths, Maria started with, “So, you don't have to tell me everything, but I want to help.”
Reese nodded. “If I say anything, everything will come out.” She murmured. The words left her lips as if they had been carefully constructed, each individual sound over thought and amplified. The end-result was her sounding like a robot.
Maria nodded as she slipped a napkin out of the large stack of cloths. “Okay, well start from the beginning.”
“I cheating on Daniel.” The words slipped out of her mouth like word vomit.
Maria's eyebrows seemed to run right off of her forehead. Her fingers froze for a second and she gulped, but aside from that, she managed to stay calm. “Did you tell him?”
Reese nodded.
“Are you gonna leave him?”
Reese started to shake her head, but stopped herself. The answer that seemed so intuitive, so obvious before was now nothing but apparent. “I... don't know.”
Maria glowered at her, cocking her head to one side. “Honey.....” She quipped.
Reese just stared blankly back at her.
“Why would you tell him if you aren't sure.”
“At the time, I thought I was gonna stay with him.” Reese pressed. She had to admit, it didn't even make sense to her.
“So what did you think telling him was gonna do?” Maria demanded.
Reese shrugged. “I have no idea.” She mumbled. “I just knew that I couldn't handle keeping that secret from him.”
Maria nodded. “And now he doesn't trust you-” She then concluded.
Reese grabbed her first set of silverware, shaking her head as she did so. “No. I mean.... he said that I could stay friends with him.”
Maria raised both of her eyebrows, a humorless laugh escaping from her lips. “Honey, that just means he's afraid to make you choose. That's got nothing to do with trust.”
Reese narrowed her eyes, the ossified clogs in her brain; the paralyzed neurons, finally starting to turn. “No, that doesn't make any sense.”
“It doesn't?” Maria replied, the skepticism in her voice rendering it razor sharp.
“Because he's making me choose now.” She replied.
Maria raised an eyebrow. “What does that even mean?” She demanded.
Reese sighed. Just the prospect of uttering the crux of the matter, the thing that had been banging around her head of the last few hours, was enough to render her profoundly tired. “Jack gave me money for my research.”
“Who's Jack?” Maria demanded.
Reese's heart leapt with anticipation. The whole ordeal felt a hundred times more real now that she had finally told another soul, now that it wasn't just Daniel's unapologetic voice echoing in the deepest recesses of her ears. She leaned in and the words were almost coming out of her mouth before Franks slammed his check-book on the booth behind her. “She lives!” He exclaimed darkly as he leaned in on their obviously private conversation.
Reese slumped away from Maria, all momentum lost. “Oh, God Frank. I'm so sorry.” She murmured, unable to bring herself to look at him for fear of the unbearable glare she knew he must be unleashing on her.
She felt a displacement in the cushion as he sat down with her. “Oh that's right. You should be.” He replied, his voice making her skin crawl.
“I shouldn't have walked out like that.” She added, trying to make herself sound as apologetic and helpless as possible.
“No you shouldn't have.”
Reese could tell by the sound of his voice that her helplessness wasn't working at all. A quick glance at Maria, who was doing a thorough job of pretending like she couldn't hear anything that was going on right in front of her told her that she wasn't going to divulge any help either. “Just please don't fire me.” She pleaded, feeling her eyes stinging with the promise of tears, a function of this new kind of stress.
Frank nodded slowly. “I might...” He let his voice trail off.
Reese gulped, grabbing another set of silverware.
“But if you tell me why you did it, I just might reconsider.”
Reese slowly turned her gaze on him, staring into his eyes for the first time since he decided to join them. She was only half surprised to find his eyes sharpened with real concern and his brow furrowed in confusion. He genuinely wanted to know. She sighed. Well, after her revealing display of psychosis, there was no real reason to be afraid to talk to her boss about her feelings. She decided to just start from where she left off. There was no good in telling Frank about having cheated on Daniel. “Jack is the other guy. He's Daniel's friend.”
Maria's eyes went wide. “Oh.” She murmured.
Reese nodded slowly. “He gave me a massive check for that research grant I have been trying to get.” She explained, more to Frank than to Maria, who already knew this part.
“Wait.” Frank replied, shaking his head in confusion. “But Jack isn't your boyfriend is he?”
Reese shook her head.
He nodded, his jaw hanging open as he finally understood.
Reese could already feel herself starting to tear up again she tapped her foot and tipped her head backwards, trying to stop that salty liquid from overflowing again, but aside from the standard effects of gravity, it was largely unhelpful. “Daniel thinks he's just trying to get in my pants. He told me not to accept the money.” her voice came out heavy and broken.
Frank leaned in, his brown eyes cutting right down to her agonizing soul. “Or?”
An erratic sob escaped from between her lips. She began shaking uncontrollably as this new wave of emotion threatened to consume her. “He's gonna break up with me!” She cried. “He doesn't trust him and he doesn't trust me; all because I did that thing with Jack and- I just don't know how to tell him that I love him.... he won't even believe me if I ever did.... oh God he thinks I'm gonna leave him! I don't know if I want to leave him! This is my future, what does he expect me to.... and ….. what if?...” At that she became aware of Frank's arm wrapped around her. The small gesture made her feel protected and understood, but did nothing to quell the fire-like conflict raging just behind her red eyes. She sucked in heavy breaths, but none of the oxygen seemed to make it to her brain. Her mouth hung permanently open. So many words fought to make it through the funnel that was her voice box. Too many for any to be successful. “I...” She gasped. “I can't do this. I can't do this! It's not fair!”
Frank rested his chin on the top of her head. It wasn't long before she felt Maria's thin finger stroking her on the other side. “You know, people will tell you that life's not fair. They will tell you to adapt. They will tell you to change your perspective because you can't change your situation.”
“But that's all bull shit!” Reese exclaimed, her frustration speaking for her.
Frank squeezed her at this. “I know, Reese. It is. It's a whole load of bullshit. That's why I won't tell you that.” He replied.
Reese's sobs subsided in her surprise.
Sensing that Reese was calming down, he continued. “I'd tell you that this world is sick. It's sick because it's filled with a bunch of people who would rather adapt to than change their situations. You want your future and you don't want to sacrifice your heart to get there..... so don't.”
Chapter 27
Reese paused in front of the door to Daniel's apartment, the familiar gold letters suddenly looking brand new. She pressed her palm against the door, then her second palm and her forehead. She took a few more deep breaths, trying her best to calm her emotions. She didn't want to come of neurotic, or out of control, or immature. Finally, and with trembling hands, she opened the door.
She stopped as soon she had stepped over the threshold and shut the door behind her. Her eyes darted from the opened and half-empty bottle of gin sitting on the kitchen island, to the open bay window and puddles of water that seeped around everywhere, to the half-full pizza box hanging half-off of the kitchen table, and, finally, to Daniel, who sat on the floor with his back against the couch and his legs extended out in front of him. He looked up at her with tired eyes, a weak smile playing at each corner of her lips at her approach.
Once she was about a foot away, she couldn't bring herself to get any closer to him. She found herself more and more vulnerable to his addictive presence the closer she was to him. Just seeing him sitting there like that made her want to collapse into his arm more than anything else. She wanted to feel his warm hands on her body, needed to feel the comfort of his skin against hers. But she was not privy to that now. She was in a fighting stance: her interest against his. This was no man's land; barbed wire. The only way she could survive was if she separated herself from him.
“I thought I had lost you.” He uttered in a voice more broken than she had ever heard in the two years that they had been together.
Reese nodded. “I'm here.” She replied.
He shook his head. “But you understand why I had to do it right?”
Reese's heart flipped at this. This was it: her first obstacle. “I understand why you did it, yes.” She replied.
He nodded, then ran his fingers through his hair. “Good. That's good. Are you hungry?” He asked, gesturing towards the pizza at the kitchen table.
Reese shook her head.
“Oh.” His shoulders slumped. He then patted the space next to him. “Do you want to sit down?” He then asked.
She just shook her head again.
He gazed up at her, his eyes searching, scanning, breaking her with each passing second. “I'm sorry. Reese. I really am.” He pleaded. “We'll get you the money. Another way.”
Reese could feel her eyes stinging for the hundredth time that night. “How?” She breathed.
He opened his mouth to respond, but then just froze that way, with his jaw hanging stupidly open. He could find no way to respond to her, because there was none. What could he say? How could he defend himself? “I don't know right now. But I will soon.”
Reese pursed her lips. She could tell just from the look in his eyes that he could believe that no more than she did. “No. You won't. You could have. You had so much time to, but you never did.”
“Reese!” He exclaimed. “That's hardly fair.” he replied, h
is eyes glazing over.
Reese threw her arms in exasperation. “You never would have, Daniel. You're so absorbed in yourself, so focused on keeping me out of your life that you never put in any effort to get into mine.”
“That's not true.” He argued.
“Did you even know I needed the money this bad? If Jack hadn't cut a check, would it have ever clicked in your mind?”
Daniel had nothing to say to this.
Reese knelt down in front of him, her knees a mere inch away from his feet. “I love you Daniel, I really do. I can't see my life without you.”
He drew his legs away from her, then leaned towards her, cupping her chin in his hands all in one motion.
She flinched at this, thrown completely off guard by the painfully familiar sensation of his hand on her face. She could smell his essence, could feel him beckoning to her with his body. She wanted nothing more than to just melt into him and forget this nightmare of a night... almost nothing more.
City Vibes - Complete Series (BWWM Interracial Billionaire Romance) Page 12