“Everything’s fine, honey,” I answered. “Can I come in for a sec and chat?”
She looked confused but opened the door further and invited me in, saying, “Of course.”
I moved into her room and noted that the fire was blazing, the lamp by her bed was lit and a book was upside down on the bedclothes.
I turned to her. “I’m sorry, you were all settled in.”
“I’m always happy for a visit from you, Miss Maddie,” she replied, moving to the bed and sitting on its edge, grabbing her book and setting it on the nightstand, finishing, “It’s nice anytime but definitely much better than this book.”
I followed and sat beside her. “No good?”
“I’m not sure the hero is going to end up with the heroine.” She grinned at me. “I prefer a happy ending.”
I did too.
And I was there to ask about hers.
“Okay, honey,” I started. “Just to say, this isn’t any of my business and you don’t have to talk about it, but it seems you’ve managed to put Hans off.”
She looked to her knees, murmuring, “Finally.”
That word should have held relief.
But I didn’t hear relief.
I just didn’t know what I heard.
“Can I...” I paused and she returned her eyes to me, “ask why?”
“Why?”
“Hans is a good man, Loretta, and you liked him a great deal before what happened in Brunskar.”
She looked back to her knees and it seemed she was uncomfortable.
Okay, maybe I’d screwed up. Maybe friends weren’t supposed to stick their noses in their friend’s business.
Backtracking, I assured her quickly, “You don’t have to talk about it with me. It’s your business. Not mine.”
Her gaze came again to me. “I’m…choosy,” she declared.
“Choosy?” I asked.
She turned fully to me. “I enjoy bedplay. Most definitely. But I’m choosy with who I do it with. I haven’t had a great number of partners because of that,” she stated openly.
“Okay,” I replied slowly when she didn’t continue.
“He pursued me,” she went on.
“Are we talking about the first time?” I asked.
She nodded. “I thought…well, the first time, he was like he was this last time, obviously not as much because I gave in, but he seemed”—she shrugged—“interested in me. For more than bedplay.”
“And you were disappointed when he wasn’t,” I guessed.
“Yes,” she confirmed. “But it was more. It was clear he was very good at it, for I greatly enjoyed what we did. Much more than I’d ever enjoyed it before. But when he wanted no more, I thought perhaps I…well…wasn’t. Good at it that is.”
Ouch.
That had to sting.
I didn’t get to share that, she kept talking.
“In his pursuit, I also got to know him. And I liked what I knew. You’re right. He is a good man and he treated me in ways I liked. Then, after he had me, all that just…went away.”
I felt my mouth get tight.
Stupid Hans.
“I know that had to feel awful,” I said, reaching out and grabbing her hand.
Her fingers curled around mine as she agreed, “It did. It hurt a whole lot. And it made me angry when he was suddenly interested in me again after what happened in Brunskar. It was like all that went before was play. He’d asked about me, as if he wished to get to know me, but it was a means to an end. He didn’t wish to get to know me. I don’t think he even listened. He just did it to get what he wanted. Then, when what occurred at Brunskar occurred, suddenly, it was like he decided I was worthwhile—”
“When you were that before,” I finished for her.
“I hope so,” she replied.
“You were,” I assured her. “You are.”
“I hope so, Miss Maddie,” she whispered.
I squeezed her hand and leaned in. “You were. You are,” I repeated firmly and I leaned closer. “I’ve learned very recently that there are things inside us we have to offer that the way those around us behave, how they treat us, can make us not see that we have them to give. I would think, sweetheart, that it also goes the other way around. That those around us have things that make them blind to what we have to offer, until something happens where suddenly”—I clenched her hand in mine— “they see.”
She said nothing so I kept going.
“And we can just say that what happened at Brunskar, what you and Meeta did for me, was a very big thing. Truthfully, in normal times, you showing that kind of bravery would never have the chance to happen. And Hans is a man who very much values bravery, loyalty, things you displayed in abundance. So he may never have known all there is to you because he wasn’t opening his eyes to see but also because there wasn’t the opportunity for him to see just all there is.”
I took a breath before I laid out the hard part.
“But I have to admit, the way you explain it, I hate to say this, it does sound like Hans was out just to have some fun.”
“Yes,” she said softly.
“But then he saw you.”
She studied me a moment before she declared, “You want me with him.”
I shook my head. “I want you to have what you want. What you deserve. I just can’t help but think that you wanted him before, very much so, and although I totally get why you wouldn’t want him now, I can’t forget how you felt before. But in the end”—I gave her hand another squeeze—“I just want you to be happy.”
“I…well…” she stammered then looked away and suddenly exclaimed, “Oh blast!”
“What?” I asked.
Her eyes came back to mine. “Now I’m angry he stopped.”
I blinked before I repeated, “What?”
“I am…I have…well, Miss Maddie, I must admit, I wanted to know this time his interest was genuine, was more, so I was”—she made an embarrassed scrunchy face—“testing him.”
Oh boy.
“And he gave up,” she continued.
Crap.
“Now I don’t know what to do,” she confided. “Because now he’s only doing what I told him to do, which is leave me be, and not doing what I want him to do, which is work to win me.”
“Do you want me to have a word with him?” I asked, hoping she didn’t because Hans liked me but I had a feeling he wouldn’t like me getting involved.
Still, I’d do it.
For my Loretta.
To which she immediately (and thankfully) cried, “No!”
“Okay,” I said hurriedly. “I won’t.”
“I’ve made a terrible mistake,” she declared. “He’s very handsome and he’s of a House and since Brunskar, when he wasn’t being bossy and annoying, he was very sweet. I was lucky to catch his eye in the first place.”
Oh no she didn’t.
“That’s where you’re absolutely wrong,” I told her. “He was lucky to earn your attention. You’re lovely, honey, every part of you. Inside and out.”
She smiled a small smile as her hand in mine squeezed but then the smile faded and she looked back to her knees.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, I’m no relationship expert, not by a long shot,” I started and she looked back at me.
“A long shot?”
“A….well, let’s just say I’m not very good at this kind of thing,” I explained.
“But, Lord Apollo adores you.”
He did indeed.
I couldn’t bite back the grin that reminder caused, so I didn’t.
Then I kept on target.
“What I’m saying is, although I landed my guy, and he’s a good one, it was a bumpy road before that where I made some mistakes. So, take my advice knowing that. But I’m thinking you both need to quit playing games and get real.”
Her brows drew together. “Get real?”
“Talk to him. Share your feelings. Tell him how he hurt you before, explain you ad
mire him and you don’t want a roll in the hay.” When she looked confused again, I stated, “Just bedplay. If he’s not interested, tell him you want to know that so you both can move on. But if this is more to him, then you’ll know.”
“He may be angry with me for playing these…games.”
“He might,” I agreed. “Then again, he might realize he bought that and suck it up.”
She stared at me. “Sometimes you speak very strangely, Miss Maddie.”
It sucked I had to keep the secret of who I really was from a friend and this was the kind of time when it sucked more.
Still, she couldn’t know so I couldn’t tell her.
Instead, I said, “We have different ways of saying things where I come from in the Vale.”
“I’ve noticed,” she murmured.
It was time to leave her alone, so I bumped my shoulder against hers and lifted our hands, doing this while offering, “If you ever need to talk about this kind of thing, or anything, I’m here. And if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay too. I just want you to know you have both from me. Yes?”
She smiled and this time it wasn’t small. “Yes, Miss Maddie.”
I smiled back. “Now, you sleep tight, sweetheart.”
“You too.”
I let her hand go but twisted to her to give her a hug. She gave it back. And when her arms closed around me, I wondered how I’d existed for so long in a life untouched by good people.
Then again, it didn’t matter.
Because I lived that life no longer.
I let her go, straightened from the bed and winked at her before I headed out the door.
When I got into the hall, I noticed Gaston was down at the other end and Lund was still at his position at the top of the stairs.
But as I moved toward my room, I also noticed one of the doors in the hall was cracked open.
It was Christophe’s.
I thought Apollo had left it open for some reason and was wondering why when I got closer and saw Christophe’s eye peering out the crack.
I looked quickly away, his position telling me he didn’t want to be caught peeking out, and made note to tell his father he was still awake and something was up as I walked by his door, pretending I didn’t know he was there.
I got two steps past it when I heard him call, “Miss Maddie.”
My heart jumped in my chest as I turned and saw he’d stuck his head out of the door.
His eyes were on me.
And he was addressing me.
Directly.
“Are you all right, Chris?” I asked.
His head turned to look toward the other end of the hall then he looked back to me.
“Did you talk Loretta into being with Hans?”
I stared at him, surprised at his question.
A question that laid testimony to the fact that Chris didn’t only watch his father, sister and me.
It would seem Chris paid attention to everything.
Then I forced myself to speak. “Um…well, no. Not exactly.”
He looked disappointed.
“She is…” I didn’t know what to share and decided on, “She has some issues.”
“Hans likes her,” he stated.
“Well, yes,” I replied.
“The handsome soldier is supposed to get the maiden he desires at the end of the story,” he declared and I felt my lips twitch as I fought back a smile.
“You’re absolutely right,” I told him.
“So what’s wrong with Loretta? She’s ruining the story,” he told me.
I again beat back my smile, doing it thinking that I wanted to walk to him. To get close. To crouch in front of him and hold his eyes when I spoke my next words.
But this was not small progress.
This was huge progress.
So I didn’t push it.
“Some stories have twists and turns, Chris. It could be that those twists and turns will lead to Hans winning Loretta. It could be he thinks she’s the maiden he desires but yet another is on the horizon and it will be her he seeks to win, and does. As with any good story, we just have to watch it play out and see.”
“She’s the maiden he desires,” Chris informed me authoritatively. “I heard him tell Remi he thinks she’s very pretty.”
“I’m glad to know that,” I replied softly.
“So she needs to stop being so stubborn,” he asserted.
“Well, hopefully I gave her a few things to think about in regards to Hans,” I shared.
“Hopefully you did,” he agreed.
At that, I let myself smile and said quietly, “But we’ll just watch it play out, shall we?”
He was looking at my smile. His eyes shifted up and he nodded.
“Now, do you want me to find your father and ask him to come and tuck you in, or are you good?” I queried.
His head (the only thing I could see around the jamb) lifted up two inches before he stated, “I can tuck myself in.”
“Of course,” I murmured. Then louder, I said, “Now you sleep tight, sweetheart.”
Something moved over his face at the endearment. Something I couldn’t quite catch before he called, “You sleep tight too.”
And without further ado, his head disappeared and he closed the door.
I turned swiftly, catching myself from twirling with glee.
I waved to Lund and Gaston as I rushed down the hall, catching myself from skipping.
I threw open the door and saw Apollo sitting in a chair in my room, tugging off his boot. His head came up, his face got soft when he saw me, I liked that a whole lot, and I closed the door behind me.
“Lock that, poppy,” he ordered.
I didn’t lock it.
I let myself skip across the room to him, watching him watch me as he dropped his boot and straightened in the chair.
When I arrived at him, I let myself twirl and I ended my twirl falling into his lap.
His arms instantly closed around me.
I instantly lifted my hands and slapped them against his chest.
“Guess what?” I asked.
He was grinning down at me as he asked back, “What?”
I pushed closer and when we were nearly nose-to-nose, I shared, “Chris just caught me in the hall and instigated a conversation with me.”
His eyes flared, his arms convulsed and his lips curled deeper.
“Good,” he murmured and I shot backward, away from him.
“Good?” I asked before I slapped my hands on his chest and leaned in again. “Great!”
“Yes, dove, it is great,” he agreed, his arms closing tighter around me, bringing me closer, his jade eyes dancing with amusement. The dancing stopped and warmth settled in before he whispered, “Happy?”
He wanted very badly for that answer to be yes.
He’d worked hard at making that answer yes.
So it was with deep gratification that I slid my hand up his chest to curl it around his neck and whispered back, “Very.”
He dipped his head so his lips were a breath away from mine.
“Now, let us see if I can make you happier.”
His words. His tone. The warmth that had heated in his eyes.
I squirmed.
“Okay,” I breathed.
“Go lock the door, my dove. But when you join me in bed, I want just you and not your clothes joining me.”
I could so do that.
So, without a second’s hesitation, I did.
* * * * *
God, he was killing me.
“Lo,” I breathed.
Apollo and I were under the covers, facing each other on the bed. We were naked. He had my leg draped over his hip, his thigh hitched between my legs, and his fingers were toying there as they had been for a long time.
A very long time.
“Look at me, Maddie.”
I lifted my gaze from an unfocused study of his throat, pressed my hips into his hand, and caught his eyes even as his fin
gers whispered away.
“Lo,” I breathed again, this time it was a plea.
His mouth came to mine, his eyes held mine, and his lips whispered, “Marry me.”
All my breath left me.
Okay.
Now that…
That was a marriage proposal.
His fingers whispered back before they again slithered away.
“Marry me, Maddie,” he repeated.
Oh God.
“Apollo,” I said his name softly but said no more.
I couldn’t. His fingers came back, gliding over my clit then shifting back, one catching at the entrance to the core of me.
“Say you’ll marry me,” he ordered gently.
I bit my lip.
His finger circled.
I whimpered.
“Say it, poppy.”
“I’ll marry you, baby.”
His finger filled me.
I closed my eyes, pressed my hips down and arched my back.
Apollo moved his mouth to my neck as he slid his finger out.
On the inward glide, he asked, “You’ll spend the rest of your life with me?”
“Yes.”
His finger went out then in.
“Content at my side.”
“Yes, Lo.”
Out then in.
“On my arm.”
“Yes, honey.”
Out, in and then gently circling.
Yes.
God.
Killing me.
And I loved it.
“Always with me,” he went on.
“Absolutely.”
“Will you try and make a baby with me?”
My body bucked and my hands at his chest pressed deep.
But my answer to his question was, “Please.”
The second he got it, he lifted his head, caught my mouth in a deep, wet, searing kiss as his finger slid out and he pressed his big body into mine.
I fell to my back, Apollo covered me and his hips fell between my legs. He broke the kiss and braced on a forearm, his other hand going between us. I felt the head of his cock gliding where his fingers had been.
But not coming inside.
I lifted my head and shoved my face in his neck.
“Lo, please.”
He traced my ear with his nose before he did the same with his tongue as he rubbed the tip of his cock against my clit.
I gasped.
“Do you love me?” he whispered in my ear.
“Yes,” I whispered against his skin.
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