by Erin Trejo
“My parents died years ago. They were older when they had me. They left me a trust fund. I never had to work unless I wanted to. Working, though, it made me feel like I was useful.” She shakes her head like she’s remembering something. My thumb trails over her bottom lip slowly.
“I love taking care of Jameson. He’s a great kid, Tic. You did well with him. He deserves to have a family.”
I nod my head as she speaks. She’s right, he does.
“I’m not askin’ you to take her place, Ash. I’m askin’ you to give us a chance.” Ash swallows hard, her eyes dancing with fear and I have to ask, “What are afraid of?” Her breathing has become quicker. I lean down, my lips near hers and ask again, “What are you afraid of, Ashley?” Her lips touch mine. My world spins on its axis. She’s so damn soft. I can taste the hint of the liquor she’d consumed at the clubhouse.
“I’m afraid of you. Of losing it all, Tic,” she breathes.
“I don’t know how to reassure you of anything. I never know what my life will be like. It’s a constant change.”
Ash grabs my face, pulling it to hers. “Promise me you’ll do the best you can, Tic. That’s all I need.” Her breath catches before my lips crush hers. The taste of her sending chills down my spine. She’s everything I don’t deserve but know that I want. I pull away from her and look down into her lust filled eyes.
“This isn’t why I brought you here,” I tease her.
She smiles up at me and says, “Then why are we here?”
I spin her around and pull her back to my chest, crushing her against me.
“Make a wish, Ash,” I tell her as I look up at the clear night sky. The stars twinkle high above us. I do this with Jameson all the time, and he loves it.
“What’d you wish for?” I whisper in her ear.
“To be loved.”
My heart feels like it may burst free of my chest at any moment. I don’t know her enough to love her yet, but I can definitely see that in her. The more time I spend with her, the more I can feel that tug. She has a spark inside of her that she isn’t going to set free easily, and I think that’s why I’m drawn to her.
“Now will you fuck me?” she teases me, looking over her shoulder.
“Bend over.” She gasps before bending in front of me. I grab her ass and slide that skin-tight skirt up her thighs. I make a note that she’s being a little tease tonight wearing nothing underneath it.
“You rode on my bike with this skirt hiked up, darlin’, and you didn’t tell me there was nothin’ under it?” My voice has grown husky as I unbutton my jeans. I quickly shove them down with my boxers before gripping my dick in my hand and teasing her. Before this gets too far out of control, I grab a condom from my jeans and roll it on quickly.
“There could be people, Tic,” she says breathlessly.
“Oh yeah. There could be but why does that make you wet? You like the idea of someone seein’ us?” I ask her when I feel just how soaked she is.
“Tic,” she says in a warning tone but I don’t stop.
“Tell me. Would it make you crazy to know someone is seein’ the way I fuck you? How fuckin’ wet you are for me?” I slap my hand on her ass before shoving roughly into her. Ash screams my name, only serving to make me harder. I grip her hips in my hand, no doubt leaving marks. My marks on her skin as I fuck her savagely.
“Tic!” she screams as I close my eyes and savor the feel of her wrapped around me.
“That’s right, sweetheart. Tell ‘em who it is that’s fuckin’ you right now!” I growl as my thrusts intensify.
“Tic!”
Oh yeah, one more time.
Chapter 12
Ashley
“So, what kind of shirts do you want for school?” I ask Jameson as we walk through the mall. He is so excited about picking out his school clothes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a child who was this happy. Everything has been calm with me and Tic. We do our daily thing, sometimes I sleep over. I like it. In fact, I love it.
“Daddy said I have to wear something nice. Like with buttons on it.” J rolls his eyes. I can’t help but laugh.
“I think Daddy just wants you to look good for school. You can pick out a few that don’t have buttons, how does that sound?” I ask with a smile. The more time I spend with him, the more I grow to love him.
“Ok. Can we get ice cream when we’re done?” he asks shaking my hand a little to get my attention.
“We can. Just don’t tell Daddy we ate it before dinner.” J laughs. I love his little laugh.
We head into some stores, and I let him basically get what he likes. I do follow Tic’s rules on the button up shirts. I know how he wants Jameson to fit in at school, but frankly, he doesn’t. Jameson is a lot like his dad. He has shaggy brown hair that hangs around his perfect little face and those dark brown eyes like Tic does. His whole attitude seems to mimic Tic, and I can’t say that it’s a bad thing.
I love that he is so much like his dad. You can see just how much love and time Tic puts into being a father figure for him. It never ceases to amaze me that he’s basically raised such a good kid all on his own.
When we have finally finished in all the stores and have a back pack that matches the shoes we walk toward the food court. Jameson takes off toward the ice cream when a man walks up next to me.
“Cute kid.” I glance over and notice he’s wearing a cut like Tic’s but the Soulless Bastards emblem is missing.
“Thanks.” I start to walk away when his hand grabs my arm. I glance down at it as panic surges through my body.
“She knows it’s her kid, and she wants him back,” he growls near my ear.
“I have no idea who you are talking about.” I try to maintain my sense of cool, but it’s quickly fading away. My heart hammers in my chest as I watch Jameson reach for his ice cream.
“We’ll be back for him, and there’s nothin’ you can do to stop it.” His hand releases my arm as a cry escapes my lips. I dig through my purse for some cash and quickly walk over to pay for Jameson’s ice cream.
“The man already paid for it.” The girl at the counter smiles politely. I grab J’s hand and head toward the door. I stop to grab my cell and call Tic.
He answers on the first ring. “Hey, baby. The boy drivin’ you crazy?” He laughs into the phone. I stand there shocked and unsure what to tell him. Do I tell him? This is his son.
“Ashley? You ok?” I can hear the concern in his voice when I finally open my mouth.
“There was this guy. Um… I’m coming to the clubhouse,” I say in rush.
“What? What guy?” he roars into the phone. I feel like the air is being sucked from my lungs.
“Ashley! What fuckin’ guy?” he hollers once more. I can’t think. I can’t focus. I hit the end button and slide the phone back into my purse before lifting Jameson into my arms and holding him tightly.
“Are we going to see Daddy now?” he asks.
“Yeah. We are. You ready?” I ask trying to stay as calm as possible.
“Yeah!” he squeals. I carry him. I can’t put him down. I can’t risk it. I don’t know who they are or what the hell he was talking about.
“We will show daddy all the clothes and shoes you got.” I try to keep him talking and laughing as I haul ass to my car. I watch the area around me, but I don’t notice anything out of place. This has my stomach in knots. I have pepper spray. I need a gun. Oh God. Do I need a gun for protection? This is too much. I can’t do this but I have to. I have to do this for Jameson.
“Ok, bud. Climb in your seat,” I say as I sit him down outside his door. Jameson climbs in and buckles. I check the area around me once more before I’m satisfied and climb in. My phone keeps ringing and I know it’s Tic, but if I take a break and call him back, I know I will lose it. I know I’ll break down and cry.
“Ash?” Jameson calls to me from the back seat. I pull out onto the main road and watch my mirrors.
“Yeah, bud?”
“Do y
ou think next time we can go to the toy store too? There is a new Spiderman I saw on TV that’s really cool, and I want to buy him.” I laugh a little when he says that.
“We sure can,” I say. I drive at the speed limit and keep an eye on my surroundings. I thank God a little more that we aren’t far from the clubhouse either. I just want to get there and let Tic handle things. I don’t know how much longer I can hold in the tears.
As soon as I see the gate, I sigh in relief.
“Yeah, Daddy’s here! And so is Grandpa!” Jameson chants in the back seat. As soon as we pull through the gates, Tic rushes the car, pulling Jameson out and checking him over. It hurts that he thinks I’d let anything happen to him.
“Go inside and see Grandpa, bud. I’ll be in soon,” Tic tells him. Jameson takes off running and that’s when shit really hits the fan.
Chapter 13
Tic
After her phone call, my body went into high alert status. I was on edge when she didn’t answer the phone, and I didn’t really calm down, not even after Mystic said the tracking device showed her on her way back here. That did little to ease my mind. I heard the tone of her voice. Something is wrong.
“What the hell happened? When I call, you answer!” I roar. “You had my son with you, and you thought it was a good idea to ignore my goddamn phone calls?” When Ash just stands there chewing her bottom lip with tears in her eyes, I want to lose my shit. I want to reach for her, choke her, shake her. Hell, I don’t know what I want to do to her.
“Answer me, Ashley!” I growl. Ash jolts before she wraps her arms around herself.
“We were getting ice cream. Some guy grabbed my arm and said that she wanted him and they would be back,” she says almost to the point I didn’t hear her. Someone grabbed her? My woman? What the fuck were they thinking? And threatening to take my kid? No, fuck that!
“Who touched you? Huh? Did you let him?” The anger dances inside of me, and I want answers. That’s the only part that’s ringing in my head right now. Someone touched her.
“Are you kidding me?” Ashley shoves at my chest.
“No. You let some man touch you and threaten my kid? What the fuck Ashley!” Mayhem comes to stand in between us, but I see the fire in Ashley’s eyes.
“You think I’d let anything happen to that little boy? Have you lost your goddamn mind, Tic? I would take a fucking bullet for that little boy, you bastard!”
My fists ball at my sides. My whole body hums with anger and rage. Pure fucking adrenaline courses through me. Mayhem’s hand stays planted on my chest, keeping me in my place.
“Fuck this. I don’t need this. I don’t need you!” Ash yells before turning back to her car. I thank fuck when Mayhem grabs her.
“Can’t let you do that, sweetheart. We don’t know who this guy was. Come on, now. You know the drill. Calm down.”
Ash nods her head but walks away from us completely. She doesn’t go toward the door but at least she isn’t trying to leave.
“You calm your shit?” Mayhem snaps when he turns to look at me. His eyes are murderous, much like mine.
“Watch J, yeah? Let me deal with her.” Mayhem nods and walks back toward the door. I take a minute to let my rage slow to a simmer. I’m taking it out on her and it’s not her fault. I’ve never been good at this mainly because I’ve never had anyone threaten my son.
I walk around the side of the building and find Ash squatting in the grass with her head in her hands. I can hear the sobs, and it eats me alive. I hate this. I hate that I did this to her.
“I wouldn’t let anyone hurt him, Tic,” she says. She must have heard me coming.
“I know that. I’m sorry I lost it. I’ve never had a woman that I had to think about. No one has ever threatened my kid, Ash.” She lowers her hands and when I walk around to stand in front of her, I can see just how much this has shaken her up. It isn’t about her, it’s about Jameson. I can see how much she loves that boy in just a short amount of time.
“Come here, darlin’.” I extend my hand to her. She looks up at it and shakes her head.
“I’m not a baby, Tic. Go see your son.” Ash completely ignores me even when I make a move toward her. She swats my hand away and stands up.
“I just need a minute. Just go see Jameson. He was excited to show you what he got today.” She brushes me off. I’ve never been good at I’m sorry. I never had to be but I do now.
“I’m sorry, Ashley. I shouldn’t have acted like that toward you.”
She surprises me when she looks up, makeup staining her face. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying and says, “No. You shouldn’t. You don’t know how much I love Jameson. I would have laid down and died before I let anyone touch him, Tic. What you did-” She stops and shakes her head. “You ruined it all. You ruined what trust we had. I thought you knew me better than that. Don’t you see that I would protect that little boy like he was my own?” She turns away from me, dismissing me.
I don’t try to talk to her after that. Giving her the space that she needs, I head back inside to check on Jameson.
“She okay?” Declan asks when I walk in.
I shake my head and look to Brooke. “Can you go check on her?” Brooke nods but not before I get the death glare from her. That girl is creepy as fuck when you piss her off.
“She’ll be okay. Been a long day, yeah?” Dec slaps a hand on my shoulder.
“Someone was messin’ with what’s mine, Dec.” That familiar anger rises inside of me again.
“And we will find out who and handle it.”
Chapter 14
Ashley
I sit in the grass, picking at blades and tossing them to the side. My heart hurts. That Tic would even think I’d let anything happen to Jameson hurts me the most.
“How are you doing?” Brooke asks walking up behind me. I nod without looking back at her. She walks up and sits next to me grabbing my hand in hers.
“He doubted me. He doubted that I could keep Jameson safe. Like I would actually let anything happen to him. What kind of fuck does that?” I scream a little louder than I need to, but Brooke doesn’t mind, she just laughs.
“Clearly he doesn’t know you as well as we thought. We all know how much you love Jameson. He’s just worried is all. No one has ever put a threat against him before. It kinda came out of nowhere.” I jerk my head to the side and raise my eyebrows.
“So, that’s my fault? He should take that shit out on me?” I snap. Brooke rolls her eyes, knowing me better than anyone else.
“No and if you want me to kick his ass I will, but give him a little slack. What did you feel when you thought they would go near him?” She asks.
“Pure rage. I was so scared, Brooke. When he grabbed my arm, I almost lost it, but I knew it would have scared J. I would do anything for him.” The sigh behind us doesn’t need to be addressed. I know he’s back there.
“That’s all that matters.” Brooke squeezes my hand once more but she doesn’t leave.
“She’s right, and I’m sorry, Ashley. I shouldn’t have taken that out on you. He’s all I have aside from this club, but I know how you feel about him.” Tic’s voice floats up behind us. I give Brooke a little nod letting her know that it’s okay for her to go. She shoves off the ground and dusts off her jeans before walking toward the front.
“I will fuck you up if you treat her badly.” She snaps on her way past leveling the man with her stare. I giggle a little before Tic comes to take her spot next to me.
“I really am sorry,” he says sincerely. I look over and I can see it. He means it.
“I need to say something here and I don’t know how you are going to take it, and frankly, I don’t care anymore, Tic. I have never been one to hold back on my feelings and now is no different.” He shifts to face me and I can see the concern written all over his face.
“I came into this with you loving Jameson. He’s a kid, how could anyone not love him? He’s perfect as far as I’m concerned. The one thing I did
n’t sign up for was you. I didn’t sign up to have my feelings split in half with you. I didn’t sign up to fall in love with you, Tic, and sadly for you, that’s what’s happening to me. I need out. I need space, and I need to be away from you. You aren’t ready for me. Maybe we aren’t right for each other, but please and I’m begging you, don’t take Jameson away from me. He’s the best thing I have in my life.” Tears form in my eyes as he watches me quietly. Too quietly. My emotions are all over the place. I didn’t expect to have these feelings for Tic but they’re there. It scares me, but I know this isn’t what he wants either. I know he isn’t looking for love and that’s why I need the space.
“You offered to watch Jameson that first day. You came runnin’ out to ask me about allergies. It was that moment that I knew you were somethin’ special. You were beautiful, perfect. I can’t imagine you walkin’ away from me. I don’t want you to. I told you that I wanted to try this thing and see where it was goin’. I wasn’t playin’. I want this, Ash.” He reaches up and cups my cheek. I lean into his touch as tears slowly slip down my cheeks.
“I don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want you to doubt me, Tic,” I cry. Tic moves his hands, wrapping them around my waist. He lifts me and places me in his lap.
“I don’t hate you, baby. I don’t doubt that you would protect J with everything in you. I know you would. You did it tonight. You kept your cool and got him back here. I can’t thank you enough for that.” His lips press into mine gently. He’s waiting to see if I pull away but I can’t. He kisses me softly and I melt into him. I don’t know how long we sit like this, but I love having him hold me.