by Erin Trejo
“Ash?” I blink my eyes trying to get them to focus. All this shit that’s running through my system is making the room blur and fog. I can’t get a good look at her.
“How could you, Tic?” Her cry kills me. I didn’t want this shit!
“Ash, please. It’s not what you’re thinkin’.” Even saying the words sounds dumb. It’s not though but look at me – I’m sprawled the fuck out on my own goddamn bed with my ex sucking my dick and I can’t move an inch.
“Yes it is. We’re in the middle of something, if you don’t mind,” Dana says after pulling her lips from my dick. I want to choke this bitch, and God help me when I get free of this shit, I will. I will kill her and enjoy watching her life slip away at my hands.
“Fuck you, Dana!” I growl but it doesn’t sound right. Fuck!
“I’m about to fuck you, Tic,” Dana purrs. I roll my head as far as I can to look at Ashley and the hurt in her eyes kills me.
“You let her hurt Jameson, I will kill you, Tic,” Ashley says. Dana climbs to her feet, and there is nothing I can do.
“She took him! Ashley, tell my dad she took him!” I try to scream, but that isn’t what’s coming out of me. It only sounds like a bunch of jumbled words coming out as grunts.
“You don’t worry about my son. Get the hell out of our house,” Dana snarls at her. She snaps her fingers and a man comes from behind Ash. I can make out the shape of him. He’s bigger than her.
“Don’t you touch me!” Ashley screams.
“Don’t fuckin’ touch her!” I roar in the sane garbled sound. I try to force my body to move, to fucking do anything but this shit is insane. I can’t move. I hate this. I hate what she’s doing to me.
I hear Ashley scream and fight until the front door closes.
“Don’t you fuckin’ hurt her!” The words come out harsh and barely intelligible.
“No one is going to hurt your little bitch. She won’t be coming back here, though.” My eyes try to focus on hers. That woman is the fucking devil. She’s insane.
“You have anyone hurt her, Dana, you will die slowly,” I force out. My heart is the only thing I can feel, and by the way it’s pounding, I know my muscles must be tense as hell. I watch Dana as she walks to the bedside table and picks something up. I can’t turn my fucking head that far so I have no clue what she’s doing until I feel the prick.
“I thought we could play nicely together, Tic. I thought that I could make this family work, but I see now that you are nothing. Jameson is all the family I need. You want that little whore, she’s all yours when my boys get done with her. As for me? Me and my son will be leaving tonight. You didn’t want to cooperate with me, and frankly I’m getting bored with your dick.” My eyes get heavier by the second. She isn’t taking my son. She isn’t going to let them hurt Ash. I have to fight this shit.
“You’re dead, Dana. You’re de-” I didn’t get to finish that sentence. Everything swept up around me and the room grew darker than it ever has before.
Chapter 23
Ashley
How could I have been so stupid? How did I ever think Tic would willingly be with her? At first, it seemed that way. She was sucking his fucking dick, but the more I thought about it the more I realized he didn’t move. She had him drugged. She had to have him drugged because he would have killed her. I probably should have listened to Blu when he said not to go anywhere, but I couldn’t sit still knowing she was there. Knowing that she got her hands on J. Now I walk in a daze. My body aches.
The vile and repulsive things that those monsters did to me will forever be ingrained in my memory. I wanted to blame Tic, but I couldn’t. I wanted to hate him but for what? He didn’t do this. He didn’t make them do those things to me. After I was raped and beaten, I was tossed to the side of the road. I’ve been walking for what seems like forever. I wasn’t sure where I was at first, but once my memory started to return, I was actually only an hour from home. They took my purse, my phone, and my life. I feel disgusting. My face is bloody, and the sweat that drips down burns my skin. People have stared at me as I’ve walked down the street. No one has stopped to see if I was okay. Blood covers and stains my ripped clothing. I never knew this world could be so cruel, and yet here I am walking in the middle of it.
I keep my arms wrapped tightly around myself as I walk in the haze that was created by the drugs they shot into my system. I now know why Tic couldn’t move. I screamed for him. I wished for him to come to me, but he never did. How could he when he was living his own hell?
Lifting my head, I blink up at the road sign. Two options. Left to the clubhouse or right to go home. All I want is to go home, but they need to know what’s happening to Tic. I shake my head. I can’t do it. I can’t face them so I go right and head toward my house. I don’t make it far as tears fall down my cheeks. The pain that was masked by the drugs slowly works its way to the surface. I suppose I should be thankful for them pumping my body full of drugs before the attack on me. I can’t breathe. I drop to my knees and gasp for air as strangled noises leave my throat.
“Ashley?” I hear Brooke’s voice, but I don’t know if it’s real. I don’t know if it’s all just a figment of my imagination or the drugs. I suck in huge gulps of air until I become dizzy. It all hurts so much.
“Oh my God. Ash.” Brooke is in front of me, worry crossing her face. She’s so beautiful. She’s endured so much in her life that I’m glad she has Declan now. I’m glad she has someone who loves her as much as I do, because after this, I don’t know that I can live. I don’t know that I want to.
I collapse into Brooke’s arms as she calls someone. I know it’s Declan.
“She’s bleeding. You have to hurry.” Her cries pierce my heart. That’s the last thing I wanted for her. I don’t want her sad. I don’t want her to worry over me.
“Help’s coming, Ashley. You’re going to be okay.” She wipes at my hair, brushing it away from my face. I love her touch. She’s so gentle where those bastards were so rough. The vivid memory of them coming toward me. The way their breath smelled. The way the room made me shudder. It’s too much. Brooke pulls me in tighter, holding me against her but my tears stop. They won’t fall. They just dry up and then there’s nothing. There’s me and Brooke.
Jameson is gone. Tic is gone. I’m just…gone.
Brooke holds me when I hear the rumble of bikes. It doesn’t faze me. I don’t move. I just lie still in her arms.
“What the fuck!” Mayhem roars. It’s so loud that it causes me to flinch.
“What the fuck happened?” Declan growls before I feel myself being lifted off the ground.
“I don’t know! I was walking home and saw her,” Brooke cries. I feel breath on my skin and my first thought is to pull away but why? There is nothing that can be done to me now that those bastards didn’t do.
“You’re okay now, Ash. We’re gonna take you to the hospital, okay?” Mayhem’s voice should be soothing but it’s not.
“Tic.” The only word I can manage to say is his name. He’s all I want but what I don’t need. This happened because of him, didn’t it? That’s what was playing in my head as I was raped and beaten. If I would have just stayed away from him this wouldn’t be happening to me.
“We’re gonna get your man back,” Mayhem whispers. Those words only rip through me deeper. Tears clog my throat. I can’t have him anymore. He isn’t mine. He’s hers. She won’t let him go.
Chapter 24
Tic
The sounds of beeping awaken me. I shake my head wondering what the hell Dana is doing to me now. I don’t know that I really want to know the answer to that truthfully. She has injected me with so much shit, I don’t know how to function. I pry my eyes open and jolt. This isn’t my house. What the fuck?
“Calm down.”
I hear his voice and turn my head. My dad sits there with a scowl on his face. His hands are clenched in his lap and he looks like he hasn’t shaved in days.
“What the fuck is happ
enin’?” I ask him as I lay my head back on the pillow. It doesn’t take me long to realize I’m in a hospital, but how the fuck did I get here? Where is Dana? Where’s Jameson? Fuck, where is Ashley?
“After we found Ashley, we went back to the house ready for a goddamn war.” He begins but I’m lost at “found Ashley”.
“What do you mean, found Ashley? What the hell is goin’ on?” I roar only to be hit with a wave of nausea.
“She’s here. Calm the fuck down before that jackass doc comes back.” Dad huffs. I lie back and try to calm my nerves, but I don’t know a damn thing that’s happening right now.
“Where is she?” I ask.
“In her room. Listen, I’m gonna tell you this cause you’re my son and I know you care about her, but you need to take it easy, yeah?” When the words leave his mouth, I know that whatever comes next aren’t going to be good. I nod my head anyway and watch as he takes a breath and runs his hand over the stubble on his jaw.
“Brooke found her walkin’ home. She was bloody and beaten.” My hands clench around the blanket that covers my body. My world begins to spin on its axis. Dana wouldn’t have had that done to her, would she? The more I let that settle, the more I know she would. Look what she fucking did to me!
“She’s pretty bad off in the head, Tic. They tore her up. She was-” I put my hand up to stop him. I can’t hear that part. I don’t want to.
“Don’t say it, Dad.” I shake my head. He huffs out a breath.
“Fuck off. You need to know what happened! They raped her, Tic. Tore that girl to hell,” he roars before shoving out of the chair he was sitting in. I watch him pace as I let it all sink in. That bitch. She would stoop so fucking low to get back at me. What’s her gain? I mean, she has my son. What did she gain hurting Ash like that? Why do it? The more I think, the more I become pissed. I sit up slowly, giving myself time to let the room stop spinning when I throw my legs over the side of the bed. I see my clothes sitting on the table across the room. Shoving out of the bed, my dad watches me but doesn’t say a word. I know he won’t either. I grab my clothes and pull them on before shoving my feet in my boots.
“She doesn’t wanna see you, Son.” His words don’t stop me. I don’t give a shit what she wants. I need to see her. I need to see that she isn’t as broken as he’s telling me that she is.
“Fuck you,” I mumble as I make my way toward the door.
“I mean it, Tic. She doesn’t want to see you.” I turn my head and glare at him.
“Start gettin’ the guys together to find Jameson. She has my son. She has guys backin’ her. What room?” He doesn’t say a word, just smiles.
“Two rooms down on the left. I’m callin’ church in thirty minutes in the chapel here.”
I nod my head and leave the room. I’m a man on a motherfucking mission right now. Whether she wants to see me or not, I have to know that she’s alive and breathing. I have to see that they didn’t ruin that sweet girl I feel in love with. That thought alone scares the hell out of me, but I can feel it deep within me. I fought it hard and I know I lost. I will be the man to admit it too. I’ll do whatever it takes to show her what she means to me, but I need to get Jameson back first. I have to believe that Dana wouldn’t hurt him despite what she did to me. That’s the lingering thought that stays in my head as I walk into Ash’s room.
“What the hell are you doing out of bed?” Brooke looks up at me shocked. Her eyes are wide but I don’t look at her long. I look at Ashley. My broken girl.
I walk over and stare down at her, not saying a word. Her eyes are closed, bruised. She has a cut on her left cheek and forehead. Her lip is busted but slowly healing. My heart clenches in my chest. This is my fault.
I reach for her hand only to realize her arm is casted. This is too much. I can’t let her fall because of me.
I lean down, pressing my lips to her head and whisper, “You stole my heart, Ash. I don’t know when you did it or how, but you did. I won’t ever be whole without you and you know that. I’m gettin’ our boy back, darlin’. He needs you. I need you.” I kiss her once more when her hand tightens around mine. I pull back but her eyes are still closed.
“She loves you, Tic.”
I turn my head to look at Brooke as I swallow the tears that threaten to fall. “I know she does, and it got her nowhere but here.” I let Ash’s hand go and step back from her bed when I hear her.
“No. It saved me.”
Chapter 25
Ashley
I know why I never did drugs. This feeling is disgusting. I hate it. I feel like I have fog sifting around in my head. My tongue feels like I licked sand. This is horrible. Why people would enjoy this is beyond me.
“You shouldn’t do that,” Tic says as I try to push myself up. I feel like I’ve been crushed under a semi-truck. My whole body aches.
“I can’t lay here anymore. I feel like I’m sinking through the mattress,” I mumble. He chuckles but I didn’t say it to be funny.
“You need to rest, darlin’.” His hand touches my shoulder and I flinch away. I look up at him and see the hurt in his eyes. Tic tries to step back but I grab his hand.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him softly. He shakes his head and opens his mouth but before he can say anything I say, “I was scared for you.”
“Scared for me? I didn’t know what the fuck they were doin’ to me, but all I could think about was you.” His eyes sparkle with tears that I know he won’t let fall. That’s not the kind of man Tic is. He sniffs a few times before he nods his head slowly.
“I gotta get down to the chapel. We’re gonna figure out how to get Jameson back. We have to find him. I don’t know what she would do-” Tic doesn’t finish that sentence because I don’t let him.
“She wouldn’t hurt him,” I blurt out. Tic watches me confused by what I just said.
“How do you know that?” he asks.
“I saw the look in her eyes, Tic. She may have hurt you and had them do things to me, but I saw the look when she said his name. She wouldn’t hurt him.” The look in his eyes will haunt me forever. He’s so unsure of my words. He doesn’t want to believe me because he knows the woman she is, but he’s torn because a part of him has to trust me.
Tic runs his hand through his hair before blowing out an exasperated breath. He doesn’t look up at me but I can feel the worry wafting off him. I can’t say that I blame him either. I can feel it too.
“I need to get down there. We’ll find him, Ash. I promise. Our boy will be home where he belongs.” Tic walks closer, leaning down to press a kiss to my cheek before turning and quickly leaving the room. I swallow the sob that wants to escape. The way he said our boy sent a jolt through my chest. He is mine. In more ways than one. It doesn’t matter that I’m not his real mom. I’d lay my life down for that little boy.
“You okay?” Brooke walks in with a sad smile on her face.
“Yeah. Tic said they were having church.” Brooke nods her head before sitting next to me.
“Yeah. Blu is pissed beyond words. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so pissed off before. Well, any of them for that matter,” Brooke says as she grabs my hand.
“Tic looks horrible. I don’t want him out there like that. He will get himself killed.”
She smiles down at me before she says, “You really love him, don’t you?” I can see that smug look on her face. I should slap her but I don’t have the energy.
“Well if being kidnapped and raped wasn’t enough to tell you the answer, I don’t know what is.” I crack a small smile at her. Brooke doesn’t laugh, but that’s my way of coping. I need it. “Brooke, laugh,” I demand her. She shakes her head and looks away but I pinch her hand.
“Ow!”
“You deserved that. You’ve been my best friend for as long as I can remember. You know how I deal with things.”
She slowly drags her eyes back to mine, the slightest hint of a smile crossing her face. “Couldn’t you have proposed to him or sent him
flowers instead?”
I laugh at that one. There’s my best friend.
“Could you see him getting flowers at the clubhouse?” We both laugh and that’s exactly what I needed. I need to find some kind of strength through this. I need to focus on the positive and not the negative. I was raped and beaten before being left for dead. The best thing I can do for myself is to stay positive.
“I love you, Ash,” Brooke says as she squeezes my hand again.
“I love you too.”
Chapter 26
Tic
“We have no fuckin’ insight as to where she’s got Jameson. I’m sure she isn’t far, though. I have guys set up with a perimeter. She didn’t get out of the city,” My dad says as we all stand in a small circle inside the church chapel.
My nerves are on fire. Every fiber of my being is screaming to get out there and find my son, but the other part is telling me to listen to Ash. She said that she could see it in Dana’s eyes that she wouldn’t hurt J. My feelings on the subject are mixed. I saw what Dana had people do to her and what she did to me. It wasn’t taken lightly.
“We wait it out. She’s bound to fuck up and that club she’s runnin’ with won’t back her for long without good reason.” I can’t believe the words actually came out of my mouth. I can feel all the guys’ eyes on me, but I keep my eyes trained on my boots. I can’t see the look in their eyes. I don’t want to. Disappointment? Maybe.
“What the fuck, Tic? She has my grandson, and you want to wait around after what she did to you and Ashley?” my dad roars. The echo vibrates through the room, through me.
“What’s the problem, Tic?” Mayhem growls next to me. I know he’s as pissed as I am about this whole thing.