by Annie O'Neil
‘Is there something that makes you think you might have made a mistake?’ he asked.
Reluctantly, she nodded.
The gesture visibly caught Sam by surprise.
She scrambled to right it. ‘No. Not technically. It was textbook. But as a surgeon... Yeah. Absolutely. I messed up.’
He looked perplexed. ‘How?’
‘One of the junior surgeons told me where the donor heart was from.’
‘Isn’t that protocol?’
‘Yes, but he told me the back story. The whole entire back story.’ She hoped her voice carried enough weight that he would be able to figure it out on his own.
He spun his finger round. Keep on talking, that gesture said. He wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth.
‘It was a young woman’s heart. A woman who’d been riding her bicycle out on a country lane and been hit by a car.’
He let out a low whistle. ‘Hell, Jay. It’s a coincidence, but...’
He was saying it was out there. But not impossible.
‘But of all the surgeons in the entire world...that heart ended up in my hands.’
Didn’t he see? The fact that it had affected her so much meant she might not be equipped to do it again. There would be more hearts. Perhaps more from girls who hadn’t looked right and left before they careered into oncoming traffic.
‘Did Stella die in surgery?’
It was strange hearing Stella’s name coming from Sam. It felt...intimate. The first thing she’d shared with him since she’d left Whitticombe all those years ago.
Jayne shook her head. ‘The surgery went perfectly. She died two days later. Rejection.’
Sam pushed back from the table as if the matter was settled. ‘So—a straight-up rejection. There isn’t anything you could’ve done about that. It’s not nice, but it happens.’
‘It shouldn’t have happened to me. Not with that girl! Not with that heart.’ The tears she’d been holding at bay for days began to flow.
Sam had her in his arms before she knew what was happening. It felt unbelievably perfect to be there. To let someone comfort her. She was so used to pushing people away. So used to pushing Sam away.
She cried and cried, accepted tissue after tissue, eventually laying her heart against his chest until the sound of her sobs abated and all she could hear was the steady thump-thump of his heart.
‘Hey, you two!’ Maggie appeared in the doorway.
They pulled apart as abruptly as if they’d been caught naked. Maggie’s eyes glinted mischievously. She loved a bit of gossip.
Totally unfazed, she popped a finger on her chin and said, ‘Oops. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?’
They both shouted, ‘No!’
Maggie clicked her tongue. ‘I’m obviously interrupting something. What’s going on?’
Jayne had no idea what to say. She was supposed to be looking after Maggie, not morphing into a blubbering emotional wreck who sobbed her heart out into her ex-fiancé’s shirt.
Sam swept a few stray locks of Jayne’s hair behind her ear, then turned to Maggie. ‘I think our Jayne, here, might need as much looking after as you do.’
* * *
Sam was just about to shoulder his messenger style bag when a knock sounded at his front door, quickly followed by a, ‘Yoo-hoo... Sam-u-el?’ that could only belong to his older sister Kate.
He walked out into the hallway with his coffee cup, only to find his sister already inside, as ever ‘casually’ inspecting the place. A finger across the oak beam framing the inglenook fireplace... A quick tidy of a stack of medical journals beside the deep-cushioned sofa. A wrinkled nose.
‘Are you still drinking that horrid coffee in the morning?’
He laughed. ‘If by “horrid” you mean the Vietnamese beans I would sell my left arm for, yes. Yes, I am.’
‘Sammy, that stuff will—’
‘Keep me awake all day,’ he finished for her.
That caught her attention. ‘Haven’t you been sleeping? I told you—you should get someone in to help you at the surgery.’
‘It’s not a problem. I love my job. Double the work means double the joy.’
His sister made a noise suggesting that she didn’t believe him. No surprise there, then. It was a common trait amongst his sisters. Why believe their little brother when they could go with feminine intuition instead? Mind you, his gut was telling him a few things he was trying to ignore as well, so perhaps she had a point.
‘Grandad is going to be in his cast for another five weeks, Sam. Maybe longer if he keeps insisting on bashing open doors with it.’ She looked him straight in the eye in only the way a sister could. ‘Be honest. How’s the clinic?’
‘Great,’ he lied.
It was busy. And about to get more so. It was the beginning of hay fever season, tourist season, sports day season, and there would be the inevitable injuries that came with long jumps, high jumps and potato sack races. Not to mention the usual extensive list of coughs, check-ups, aches, unusual bumps, infant earaches... Maybe his sister had a point.
‘A little birdie tells me you’ve been popping over to see Maggie after surgery.’
And by ‘Maggie’ he knew she meant Jayne.
‘Yup.’ He stuffed a stack of papers into his bag, trying to give his sister the hint that he really did have to get going. ‘Maggie’s got a pretty serious condition.’
‘I get it that you like doing the whole country doctor thing with house calls, Sam, but Maggie has an actual surgeon living under her roof who just might be on top of all that—am I right?’
‘Yeah, well... She’s—’
His sister did one of those Oh, don’t bother lying flicks of her eyes.
Fine. He went there because of Jayne as well. How could he not? What had come through loud and clear the other day was the fact that she was still dealing with her sister’s death as if it had happened yesterday. The part of him he’d thought would never leap to her rescue again turned out not to have got the message.
Talking to her, holding her, laughing with her and Maggie over cups of tea and a board game after work... For the first time in he didn’t know how long he had felt one hundred per cent whole. And if he was being really honest it felt as if he was getting a second chance.
Not with the romance side of things—he didn’t even know what to do with the chemistry buzzing between them—but something deeper was at work. Something he felt they’d never had a chance to deal with all those years ago.
‘You aren’t trying to do your knight in shining armour act again, are you?’
‘What act?’ He bridled. Sometimes sisters didn’t know when to leave well enough alone.
‘Oh, come on, Sam.’ She pointed at one of the and sat down on the other.
Here we go. Another Big Sister Talk. As much as he loved her, she was properly off base.
‘Sam.’
‘Kate.’
‘You know as well as the entire village does that the whole reason you got together with Marie was to rescue her.’
‘What on earth are you talking about?’
‘Oh, come on. She was great. I’m not saying otherwise. But...’
Sam rolled his eyes. Here it comes.
‘She had a horrible ex-boyfriend. Moved out of the city to escape him. Came to Whitticombe to start over. You had the perfect life all sketched out, with this house, your work at the surgery... All you were missing was a woman to do it with.’
‘You make me sound like a real arse.’
‘Don’t be silly. We know you loved her. We also know you’ve never really got over Jayne.’
Oh, for heaven’s sake! No wonder Jayne had looked nervous about the ‘girlie’ lunch. Just one sister was enough to drive him round the bend, let alone all of them at once.
‘Jayne and I ar
e ancient history.’
Kate pursed her lips at him. ‘You know I do not usually swear. But that is total crap, Samuel Crenshaw. We loved Marie. Every bit as much as you did. But the two of you... It was never the same as it was with you and Jayne. You’re the only one who didn’t see it.’
‘Oh, c’mon, Kate. I think I’m a bit better than that.’
‘Look... No one blames you for wanting to be someone’s hero after what you’d been through with Jayne. You tried everything you could to help her.’
‘Thanks for the reminder. I think you’ll also remember that she told me to go and live my dreams because she wanted to live hers. Alone.’
He’d tried talking to her. She’d hardly responded. He’d told her he was there to listen. She’d said there wasn’t anything to say. For the first couple of months she’d practically been a zombie, so it had been a shock when she’d announced she was heading back to her studies as per normal.
And on the handful of trips she’d taken back to Whitticombe since only a fool would have failed to notice she had become a different person from the one he’d fallen in love with.
Kate sighed and gave his hand a squeeze. ‘After Jules died she was a lost soul. She had no idea what she wanted. You knew exactly what you wanted. And at that age it’s hard to take your eye off the prize.’
He was taken aback. ‘Are you saying I chose my life here over Jayne?’
‘Not at all. I’m saying you were a young man. A young man who’d set his heart on living the life the two of you had always dreamed of. For Jayne that life didn’t exist any more. Couldn’t exist any more.’
She had a point. When Jayne’s sister had been killed she’d been completely shell-shocked. He’d had no idea how to help someone enduring that level of grief. He’d never called a time of death at his training hospital, let alone seen someone he loved pass away.
If Jayne had clung to that pain of course it would have been traumatising for her to perform a transplant with a heart that had come from a woman who’d had a similar accident. There had been something else, though. When she’d spoken about Stella’s death he’d seen something in her eyes that had looked...haunted. As if by pursuing paediatric surgery she’d believed she could put a stop to all bicycle accidents. Or...more to the point...feel she was bringing her sister back each time she fixed a child’s heart.
‘Why are you frowning?’ his sister asked.
‘I’m not frowning.’ He was. He was totally frowning. He pulled her into a bear hug and acquiesced, ‘Maybe you’ve given me a bit of food for thought.’
‘You know I’m right, don’t you?’
He parted his lips, poised to protest, and instantly knew there was no point. Kate had been the one who’d driven him to complete his medical degree all those years ago, with the ring box burning a hole in the corner of his duffel bag. He still had it. Hadn’t thought it right to propose to another woman with Jayne’s ring, just as...
Oh, God. Kate was right. He had tried to make Marie’s dreams come true with his own vision of the future. The future he’d planned with Jayne. He looked round the big open house. Marie had often said she’d felt as if there was a ghost living in the renovated barn, and he’d always told her she was being silly, but honestly... Maybe she’d been right.
That ghost was Jayne.
She’d been the one who’d stared at the derelict yellow brick building and said, ‘That would make a nice place to live one day.’ She’d been right. It was great. Vaulted ceilings. Thick oak beams. Windows two metres high that saw the sun rise in the master bedroom and set in the open-plan family area.
Family.
‘Who made you so smart?’ he asked.
‘Mum and Dad,’ she said, giving his hand a pat. ‘And a splash of sisterly intuition.’
He rolled his eyes at her.
‘Sammy...’ His sister stretched across the kitchen island and began picking at a bowl of grapes. ‘You be careful.’
‘What? With Jayne? She’s fine. We’re just friends.’
He wondered if she could see his nose growing. Technically they weren’t anything else...but there was that thing that hummed between them.
‘Okay,’ she said, suddenly changing tack. ‘If things are so chummy between the pair of you, why don’t you ask her to help you at the clinic. We all heard her offer. She’s probably desperate to put a bandage on someone or look down someone’s throat.’
Sam scoffed. ‘I don’t really think it’s her kind of thing.’
‘Why not? She’s a doctor, isn’t she?’
‘Obviously. But she—’ He checked himself.
It wasn’t Jayne’s surgical career that was the problem. It was the idea of having her a metre or so down that corridor where they’d planned to work together. It would be like playing at something he could never have, and in all honesty he was still at the baby steps phase of this supposed friendship.
His sister gave him another one of those X-ray vision looks of hers, then said, ‘Why don’t you let her decide? You’re big kids now.’ She patted his head in the way only a big sister could. ‘If you really are friends she’ll want to lend a hand. If you’re not...you’ll see the back of her by the end of the day.’
She briskly wiped her hands back and forth, as if she’d sorted out yet another one of the vast problems of the universe.
‘Have her do a children’s clinic or something. Go on,’ his sister said, popping another grape into her mouth, a mischievous glint to her eye. ‘I dare you.’
When Sam got to the surgery and saw the patient list bursting at the seams he knew his sister was right. He needed help. And it was just a few doors down the lane. Maybe it was time to take a chance.
CHAPTER SIX
‘YOU’LL BE FINE.’
Sam handed Jayne a cup of strong coffee. Thick and black with a couple of lumps of sugar, just the way she liked it.
‘And you’re absolutely sure you’re cool with this?’
Jayne’s nerves were pinging all over the place. Not about seeing patients, but about doing it here. At Stream’s Edge Surgery. They might as well unfurl a banner that said Jayne’s Back in Town! Why not get your blood pressure checked and give her a quiz while you’re at it?
Or maybe that was just her nerves at work.
‘Greta’s going to send all the paediatric appointments your way, but since your training did cover all the basics you’ll be completely fine to handle anything else too.’
She pulled a face. ‘I don’t know anyone as well as you.’
He shrugged. ‘Sometimes that’s a good thing. People often hide the whole truth if they know you well.’
All the air left her lungs and she looked away. Did he know she’d kept something from him all these years?
He took a long drink of his coffee, then smiled. ‘I know you two are friends, but maybe a bit of distance explains why Maggie wanted you to look after her and not me. She’s loving those foot-rubs you’re giving her, by the way.’
Jayne disguised her relief that he wasn’t referring to something darker with an airy wave of the hand. Foot-rubs were the least she could do for her friend, who seemed to run the village singlehandedly from her armchair. She’d do more if required. Much more.
If she’d been able to reach in and fix her sister’s heart that day she would have, but...
She shook the image away. Work. Work was good. Especially with the anniversary of Jules’s death coming up.
Sam escorted her to his grandad’s examination room. The walls were covered with family photos and scads of hand-drawn thank-you cards. And in pride of place, on the centre of his desk, a huge family portrait with all the Crenshaws, their spouses, their children...
Looking at it made her realise just how much she’d missed by staying away.
‘I’m going to be right next door. If you need me call or knock or—’
‘Oh! Can we have a secret knock?’
Sam laughed. He was obviously a bit nervous, too, so adding a bit of playfulness to the day might take off a bit of edge.
‘Sure. Let’s have a secret knock.’
She knocked on the wall.
‘Sounds like tachycardia.’ He grinned.
‘You knew I was doing a heartbeat?’
He shrugged. Of course he knew. He’d known everything about her once upon a time.
‘Okay...how about this?’ She did it again, but with the slow, steady cadence of his heart that had steadied her when she’d had her little meltdown the other day.
‘That’s good.’
He stuck out a hand and she gave it a solid shake.
‘Good luck, Doctor. Enjoy.’
He dropped her a wink, then headed into his office.
The wink! It was their wink! Just the confidence boost she needed.
Before she could think about it any further, she picked up the phone and buzzed Greta. ‘I’m ready for the first patient.’
Two minutes later a little pixie-haired girl called Poppy was giving full vent to the fact that she had a slightly ingrown toenail.
‘Mummy says I can’t wear my favourite shoes to the concert!’ she wailed.
Poppy’s mother gave her a weary smile. She was around Jayne’s age, but hadn’t grown up in Whitticombe.
‘How long has this been bothering you, poppet?’ Jayne asked.
‘It’s Poppy,’ the little girl said grumpily, crossing her arms over her chest.
‘She’s been like this for the last couple of days,’ her mother explained. ‘In a mood... So I suspect her toe’s been hurting more than she’s let on. And...well...it does look rather swollen.’
‘It doesn’t hurt. I just want to wear my fancy sandals!’ Poppy insisted.
Jayne pulled a small set of steps over to the exam table. ‘Why don’t you pop up on here and tell me all about the concert?’ Distractions always helped when children were in pain. Focusing on an injury could often make them more distressed. ‘What instrument do you play?’