by J. L. Drake
I stayed on the edge. Chains wrapped my wrists and torso, rooting me in place—a reminder I belonged to them when I was here.
“Where the fuck did you come from, Tiger?” Morgan’s disbelief jolted me back from my head.
Her wide eyes were locked onto mine, and I could tell she had heard what Joe said. Oddly enough, I knew I should care, but I didn’t, really.
I turned my gaze away and focused my attention where it belonged, on the burned pile of shit that lay in front of me.
“Tess,” I heard Brick warn from behind me.
She looked up at me, her head cocked to the side.
“I’ve been surrounded by liars my entire life.” Her voice barely made it through the madness inside. “I trusted him too. How stupid I must have been.”
“He never got it, what it’s like to have family.”
She didn’t look back as she walked out the door and muttered to someone in the hallway.
I continued to look down at what was left of Joe. I had relished his screams and was happy both moles were now taken care of.
Only Brick and I stayed until the last flame flickered out. Brick swallowed at the smell, but I didn’t register it, or maybe I was just filled with the scent of victory.
“What now?”
“Now we find Allen.”
“Trigger?”
I turned to look at Brick. He had a rag over his mouth and nose, but his eyes were visible, his brows drawn together. He seemed worried. Why? We just took down a decade-long mole.
“Never mind.”
“You got something to say, say it.”
He shook his head then stepped back so I could leave.
I kicked the door open and headed to my room.
***
In typical club fashion, they held a huge party whenever we had a victory. The pool was full of women, and the bar was busy, the booze flowing freely. As word got out, my other crews started to arrive in droves, ready to join in the celebration. Money flowed along with the liquor. It was a good night.
My body was jacked up. The demons were on speed, and I felt restless and edgy. I still needed more.
“Trigger!” Tristen shouted with one girl under each arm. “I have a treat for you.” He pushed one of the blondes in my direction. She tripped over her heels and fell toward my chest. I quickly grabbed her wrists and stood her on her feet before her body reached me. “She’s a gymnast.” He mouthed the word, “flexible.”
“Hey,” she blinked up at me, “I’m Jessica.”
I smiled down at her and felt the erection as it strained against my pants. She had plump lips, which could be used in my favor.
“Who are you?” Tess snapped from behind her. “I don’t fucking think so.”
“Who are you?” The girl squared her shoulders then wrapped her arm around my waist with a smile.
Tess shot me a nasty look, then that crazed expression of hers flashed across her eyes.
She grabbed my erection forcefully. It was sexy as fuck until I felt her nails dig in.
“This,” she stuck up her finger, indicating her ring, “belongs to me.”
“Whooo, Trigger,” Tristen laughed, “your bitch needs a leash.”
Tess whirled around, and to my surprise, she slapped Tristen right across his face. “Just because you’re a manwhore doesn’t mean you need to spread your STD sluts on him.”
Tristen pushed the girl he was with away and drew back a fist to hit Tess. I blocked his swing and slammed him back into the pool house.
Tess prepared to charge him, but Rail snagged her around the waist.
“Don’t,” I warned with another shove to Tristen. He raised his hands in surrender.
I flicked my fingers at Rail, and he released Tess, who shoved his shoulder and scowled at me.
“You’re a feisty little one, aren’t you?” Tristen egged her on.
“Was the first hit not hard enough?”
“Beginner’s luck.”
“Ha!” She shoved her middle finger in the air. “Wanna test that theory?”
“Fuck.” Morgan tossed his bottle in the trash and glanced at me. “You gonna step in?”
I shrugged and squinted. I had a headache. Something was off inside me. The darkness that held me captive was only more dense.
“Here.” Gus sat beside me and tried to hand me a white cup with a blue straw. “It’s lemonade, Nolan.”
It was strange when he used my other name, but he always insisted on it, so I went along. My eyebrows pinched together as I examined the cup. There was a silhouette of two lemon slices squeezed in between blocks of ice on the side. It was really hot out, and lemonade wasn’t something I had often. Gently, he pushed it into my hand then went back to watching the game.
“What’s the score?”
“Bottom of the fifth, Angels up seven to three.”
“Nice.” He shoved more than half a hotdog down his throat in the first bite. I couldn’t help but smirk as his head tilted and he tried to swallow. “Yum.”
I liked Gus. He was fun and kept things light. He never hit or even touched me. He just liked to spend a few hours with me on Sunday. It helped me get through my week or my next fight.
“You want one?” Gus moved the box to my lap, and I saw he had bought at least eight hotdogs.
I picked the one on the end and inhaled the dog in one bite.
“What?” Gus laughed, mouth wide open, and half a wiener fell from his mouth. “I’m so proud.”
I laughed and went back to the game. Who knew I could laugh like that?
“Shit!” Brick’s shout brought me back, and it took me a moment to catch up with the situation. Tristen’s chick had Tess by the neck. She was three times her size, and it showed in her powerful grip.
I hopped over the table and tossed the chick in the pool with one arm. Tess fell but batted my arm away when I tried to help her up.
“Don’t touch me!” Her hands felt for the wall.
“You okay?” Brick came up to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. Which, of course, she allowed.
“I’m fine,” she huffed.
“Why are you so scrappy?”
She held her neck and shook her head. “This place,” she heaved. “I need a drink.” She pushed by Brick and headed inside.
“What the hell was that all about?” Brick held his hands up then looked back at me. “What happened?”
“Little bitch has a set of balls,” Tristen called out, clearly drunk as shit.
“Enough,” I barked, which sent the entire back yard into a sudden silence.
I headed inside, and the crowd parted as I stormed through. So many sounds in my head fought to break my train of thought. The demons screamed and insisted I go in another direction. A direction that was away from Tess.
***
Tess
“Get inside.” Vib pushed Fin into the bar. He tripped on his book bag and fell to his knees with a small cry. “Christ, Fin, get your ass up and out of my face.” She dropped her cheap, flashy purse on the stool and pushed her wild hair out of her face. “I need a goddamn break!” She lit a match and touched it to the tip of a cigarette.
“Ouch.” Tears filled Fin’s big eyes. “It hurts.” There was a pretty nasty cut on his knee.
“Shut up!” She smacked the side of his head, and I’d had enough.
I bent down on one knee and took Fin’s leg and looked up at him. “That looks like it hurts. You want me to get a Band-Aid?” He gave me a little nod but eyed his mother behind me.
“Hey,” Vib slurred. I assumed whatever she took was starting to kick in. When I didn’t look up at her, she rose on her five-inch porn heels and cocked out her bony hip. “I said, hey, you!”
I knew I had overstepped, but frankly, I didn’t give a shit. These boys had been through enough, and now this junkie was only adding to their list of problems.
“Are you hungry?” I ignored her.
“Yup, a lot hungry.”
I used the
back of my hand to dry the tears from his dirty face. I bit my tongue and wondered in silence when he last had a bath.
“I can feed my own son.” Vib came up next to me.
“Like you can bathe him too?” Oh, shit, Tess, shut your mouth.
“What did you say? You’re a little bitch.”
When I started to stand, she grabbed my hair and shoved me, and I fell back and smacked the side of my head against a chair.
“Don’t touch her!” Fin screamed and pushed his mother’s hip with all his strength, causing her to lose her balance and tumble into the bar stool. “I hate you. I hate that you touched her.”
“Shut up, you little shit.”
“You’re a shit. At least dad didn’t hit me.”
“Well, your dad’s dead…”
Fin froze and his nostrils flared. I’d swear I could hear his heart break from across the room. His face went red, and his fists slammed down at his sides. “I wish it was you being eaten by worms!”
Vib struggled to stand, and her knees bent inward as she tried to find her balance in her stupid shoes. She looked around for something, and I tried to clear my head from the hit to the side of my skull. Dammit, that hurt.
I wished I could keep my temper better, but I saw red when Fin screamed in pain. That fuckin’ junkie had pressed the hot end of her cigarette into his upper arm. He bucked and cried. I don’t know when I jumped to my feet, but I yanked his arm out of her grip and started on her ugly face.
“What the hell!” I screamed, beyond finished with this tramp. “He’s your son, Vib! How can you do that to your own child?” Fin buried his head in my back and sobbed while I still had a grip on her. “Gus would beat your ass to the grave if he knew you did that to his boy.”
She pulled herself from my grip. Her lipstick was smeared all over her mouth, and tears from my blows had run tracks through her thick makeup. She tossed back a half-finished drink someone had left on the bar then smirked as she wiped her mouth dry.
“Can’t beat my ass now, can he?”
“He can’t, but I obviously still can.”
She swung and missed, only to tumble to the floor with a huff.
“Get out.” I stood above her.
“You can’t do that.”
“Can’t I?” I held up my engagement ring and watched her eyes connect the dots. Yup. I was about to marry the president of the club.
“You can’t make a decision like that. You’re only a whore on Trigger’s arm until he tires of you. It’s always the same with him. Fuck and chuck. We’re just waiting you out.”
“Well,” I rubbed my chin like I was deep in thought, “I guess until I get chucked, you’re out of here.”
“The boys are coming too!”
“No!” Fin yelped.
“Guess that’s your answer.”
She once again made it to her feet and towered over me and Fin. “You can’t take them from me. They’re mine,” she leaned in, “and I’ll take them to hell with me if only because you want them.”
“Vib!” Trigger barked from his office. “You don’t have custody of the boys. I do.” He held up a blue folder, the one Gus had mentioned before. “I have the right to step in when I choose. You have one hour to get your shit out of my club. The boys stay.”
Her mouth fell open as she took in what he said. “Trigger,” she whined, turning all girly, “it was just a misunderstanding. Tess saw something and thought I was hurting Fin. You know I wouldn’t hurt my babies. You know I love them.”
“One hour,” he repeated.
Her body language changed instantly, and she ran a hand over her fake chest. “You’re getting rid of all the chicks in the club to make this waste of space happy? You don’t love her. She just puts up with all your shit, so you’re blind to her. Your uncle would roll over in his grave if he saw you now.”
Trigger glanced over to me before he muttered, “Maybe, but now you only have fifty minutes. Get out fast. You’re making my head hurt.”
Maybe? What was “maybe?” The part where he didn’t love me, or that Gus would roll over?
Vib glared at me before she snatched her purse and headed to her room. I lifted Fin up on the bar top and examined his burn.
“You okay?”
He shrugged and whimpered as I bandaged his arm. What kind of a monster would hurt a child like Fin? The little guy might talk like a sailor and hit like a fighter, but deep down inside, all he and his brother wanted was to be loved by their mother.
Vib appeared again and walked out of the club, but not before she glanced at me. Her eyes looked wild and unsure. What the hell was she up to?
“Okay,” I changed my focus back to Fin, “I’ll order you some food. Why don’t you lay down and wait for the pain pill to kick in, and I’ll have Morgan bring it in to you, okay?”
He sniffed. “’Kay.”
I lifted him down off the bar and turned to clean up my mess when he hugged me from behind.
“Can you be my mom?”
A million emotions ran through me, but what hit the hardest was that he looked at me as a mother. Never once in my life did I think I could or even would want to be a parent. I was fine with handing off Lilly. I knew she would have a better life without me raising her. But now, years later, things were different, and when I looked down at the little boy in front of me, who had lost so much in such a short period of time, all I wanted to do was hold him and promise him the world.
What the hell happened to me?
I brushed his cheek and down his jaw to his chin. “Fin, I can be whatever you want me to be.”
He gave me a small smile, which I was sure was hard to muster, given what just happened, and headed down to my room.
I sagged against the bar. Between the fight out by the pool and then Vib, I was spent, physically and emotionally.
I needed something to do, so I went to clean the soda machines.
When I was almost finished, I checked the clock. Three a.m. I was impressed with my progress and looked forward to showing Morgan in the morning. I knew it was the one job he hated to do.
The office door opened, and Trigger leaned his weight on the doorframe. I tossed my rag down and locked the cash box.
“You about done causing trouble tonight?”
“You ready to come back from the dark side tonight?”
He grinned, but not the sexy smirk he gave me when I’d entertained him. It was something colder.
It sent a chill up my spine. He took split personality to a whole new level.
“You coming to bed?”
I shook my head.
“Why?” His tone was different, and it matched his grin. Gus had warned me that Trigger could flip and not come back. A part of me had been thrilled by the idea, but now I saw what they did. He wasn’t Trigger anymore. He was someone else, someone I wasn’t sure of.
I decided to be honest. I wouldn’t sugarcoat my feelings, and I wouldn’t make him think I liked this version of him.
“Because I want to sleep with Trigger, not his demons.”
I flipped the light off and left him alone in the dark.
***
Allen
“Father.” Zay hurried over to me in the hardware store. I pricked the tip of the pitchfork and imagined it severing Trigger’s jugular. I rather liked the weight of the farm tool, so I stuck it in the cart.
“What?” I snapped as I moved on to the next aisle.
“They’re coming back. They got my message and agreed to come back.”
That stopped me.
“When?”
“One week from Tuesday.”
I grabbed a box of garbage bags. I knew I had to get Zay to clean up the mess I made earlier with the maid. She had decided to clean my room after I specifically requested her not to. Some people just didn’t know how to listen.
“Excellent. Tell them to meet us at the hotel bar at nine p.m. next Tuesday.”
“Should be interesting.”
“Indeed
, it shall.”
I caught my smirk in the surveillance monitor and saw a flicker of black race across my pupils.
Chapter Sixteen
Trigger
It had been eight days since Gus was killed. We had just returned from the funeral, and everyone was in a shit mood. I didn’t blame them. I was feeling extra low myself.
“She didn’t deserve to be there,” Morgan snarled as he sank into a chair.
“She did,” Cooper chimed in. “Just not with another man on her arm.”
“I still think you should have let Tess have a run at her.” Rail winked at Tess, who had remained quiet most of the day. Gus meant a lot to Tess, and she was even more closed off than she had been lately.
Rail hit Tess with his elbow. “You need a drink, Tiger?”
She peeled her gaze from her lap, and I saw the flash of her phone.
“Hmm?” She squinted while she thought about what Rail said. “No, I’m not hungry.”
Rail’s chin pulled back, but before he could repeat the question, Brick touched her shoulder.
“All good?”
“Sure.” She left the bar and headed out back.
What the hell was up with her? I started to follow her when Cray skipped through the front door like a kid in a candy store.
“Whoop! Boys, do I have a treat for you!”
Brick looked at me, confused.
“Trigger,” he went to grab my shoulders but stopped himself, “Christmas came early for you!” He leaned back and rang the bell at the bar.
“Meaning?”
“Meaning,” he turned his phone around and let me see the text and photo, “wanna go play?”
Fuck me, Christmas had come early this year.
We headed out, and soon the six of us waited in the shadows beneath the red rotating sign. The Snake’s Den was off the 15 freeway, a hidden biker bar only the locals knew about. It was not a bar where the Devil’s Reach was welcomed. I couldn’t imagine why.
A single strand of circle lights wove through the high-rise above us. It looked like a string of Christmas lights. Cray gave me a wink as if to say, “See? Christmas.”