by Nancy Mehl
“Papa!” Sarah’s voice was so faint we almost didn’t hear her. She stood in the doorway, holding on to the frame for support. Her long black hair cascaded past her shoulders and fell across her chest. In my white nightgown, the contrast was startling. Even though she was still abnormally pale, she had never looked more beautiful. I heard John’s sharp intake of breath.
“Daughter, what are you doing out of bed?” Gabe rose to his feet and started toward her, but Sarah held up her hand for him to stop. “Papa, I must say something. Then I will go back to bed.”
She gazed at John, who seemed almost transfixed by her presence. There was no mistaking the naked emotion in her face. It was obvious she loved him. That’s why her next words took me by surprise.
“I’m sorry, John, but my father is right. There’s no future for us. It’s best that we end things. Besides, our relationship was never that serious. You never even kissed me.” With that, she turned and started to leave the kitchen. I noticed that she faltered, obviously still weak and unsteady.
I jumped up to assist her. “You all stay here,” I ordered the three men. “I’ll help Sarah back to bed.”
I slid my arm around her tiny waist while she leaned against me. A few times as we climbed the stairs, I worried she would fall. Finally I got her back into bed. Although she tried valiantly to look calm and resolute, I could feel her body tremble as I pulled the covers over her. Before she turned her head away from me, I saw the stark pain on her face.
“You love him very much, don’t you?”
No answer.
“Sarah, you can talk to me. Really. I won’t repeat anything you tell me.”
Her small body began to heave with sobs. I sat down on the bed next to her and opened my arms. She sat up and wrapped her slender arms around my neck. I could feel her tears falling on my skin.
“Oh, Gracie. I do. I love him more than I can bear.”
“Then why? Why would you say what you did? Surely this can be worked out.”
She shook her head. “No. No, it can’t.” She let go of my neck and put her head back on the pillow, tears running down the sides of her face. “You heard Papa. He is afraid to be alone.” She reached for my hand, and I gave it to her. Her grip was surprisingly strong.
“My father raised me after Mother left. It was so hard for him, Gracie. I know he was devastated by her betrayal. He loved her so. But he kept going for me.” Sarah stared at the ceiling, her expression resolute. “What if John and I wanted to marry? I would have to leave home. I will not do that to my father.”
I started to protest, to tell her that she couldn’t spend the rest of her life taking care of Gabe, but she put her fingers up to my mouth, softly touching my lips.
“Hush, dear friend. I know what you would say. I know the Bible talks about leaving our mothers and fathers and cleaving to our husbands. But I cannot leave him. Not yet. Not until I know he’ll be okay. Right or wrong, I know it’s what I must do.” She smiled sadly. “Maybe the day will come when things change. I don’t know. But I can’t build happiness on my father’s pain. It’s impossible.” Her eyes searched mine. “Do you understand—even a little?”
I had to bite my lip to keep the words I wanted to say inside. Sarah deserved a life. Her mother’s abandonment had hurt her, too. Her father certainly wasn’t the only victim. Yet as I gazed into her face, I knew she spoke the truth. Sarah didn’t have it in her to hurt Gabe. With her gentle spirit and loving nature, to do so would rip her to shreds. “I understand, Sarah. I’ll support you, whatever you decide.” I squeezed her hand and saw her wince. “Are your hands still sore?”
She nodded. “And my feet. They are very painful. I didn’t want to say anything.”
I stood up. “I need to check with John. He should know.”
A look of terror washed over her features. “Please, Gracie. Don’t let him come here. Not now. I—”
“Nonsense.” John’s sharp retort startled me. I turned to find him standing in the doorway, frowning at us. “I’m still the doctor here. No matter what else, I intend to take care of your physical needs, Sarah.” He came into the room, Gabe close on his heels. Before approaching the bed where Sarah lay, he stopped and looked at her, almost expressionless. “I’ve talked to your father. I want you to know that I agree with you. Whatever we thought we had is over. I see now that it was never meant to be. I was fooling myself to think that someone like you could love me. And it was wrong to put you in a position where you would have to choose between your religion or me. You can’t give up your beliefs, and I can’t manufacture beliefs I simply don’t have. So I guess that makes our choice clear. Now I want to look at your hands and feet. As your doctor. Is that all right with you?”
Sarah was so still her nod was almost imperceptible. Her dark eyes looked huge in her delicate face, and I could only imagine her emotions as John approached her. He sat on the side of her bed and took her hands in his, turning them over and asking questions. Her response was either “Yes” or “No” to each inquiry. John moved to the end of the bed and uncovered her feet, asking her the same questions. Finally he stood up.
“Everything is fine. The tingling and pain are actually signs the skin is recovering. When you get her home, Gabe, just let her rest, and make sure she has plenty of fluids. She’ll recover completely.”
“Thank you, John. For everything.” Gabe walked over to John and held out his hand. John took it and covered it with his other one.
“The one thing I ask of you,” John said in a husky voice, “is that you don’t pull back from your friends again. It isn’t right. For you or for Sarah. Please don’t let my selfishness cause you to cut yourself off from us again.”
Gabe’s eyes widened, and he placed his other hand over John’s. “I promise. I don’t want that for either one of us. I’m sorry for the way I acted. I was just so hurt…and afraid.”
“I know exactly how that feels. But this town, and these people…well, they changed me. I want you and Sarah to be happy here, too.”
“You have my word.”
I couldn’t stop the tears that filled my eyes. I glanced over at Sam, who stood in the doorway watching. He had to wipe his own eyes. But my joy at seeing these two men find reconciliation was marred by the pain I knew Sarah and John felt. Were they doing the right thing? I couldn’t be sure, but one thing Gabe said made sense. Sarah did love God. How could she become involved with a man who didn’t? I watched as Sarah smiled, seeing her father and John make peace, yet the sadness in her eyes caught at my heart.
Sweetie’s shrill voice suddenly disrupted the quiet atmosphere. I looked over at Sam. “What’s she yelling about?”
He shrugged. “Hold on. I’ll check.” He stuck his head out the door and called loudly to his aunt.
I heard her clomping up the stairs. “I said, there’s someone outside. Looks like Dan and Dale Scheidler.”
“I’m surprised they got through,” Gabe said. He looked toward his daughter. “Will you be all right for a few minutes?”
“I’m fine, Papa. Go ahead.” The men followed Sweetie down the stairs.
I picked up the teapot on the tray by Sarah’s bed. “I’m going to get you more tea. This is lukewarm. I’ll be right back.”
“Thank you,” Sarah said. “But to be honest, I’m tired. I think I’d like to sleep for a while if it’s okay.”
I wasn’t certain whether she wanted to be alone because she was sleepy or if she just needed some time to cry, but either way, I understood. “Okay. I’ll come back and check on you in an hour or so.” I patted her shoulder. “You get some rest.”
She nodded and turned away from me, her long dark hair in stark contrast to the white bedspread covering her. Once again she reminded me of Snow White. I couldn’t help but wonder if this beautiful princess would ever experience love’s first kiss. I left the room and closed the door quietly behind me.
As I came down the stairs, I heard the sound of excited voices. Dale and Dan had just entere
d the foyer when I heard Dan exclaim, “We were trying to clear some of the roads when we found something.”
As I joined the group gathered around the two brothers, Sam said, “You found something? What are you talking about?”
“We found a body, Sam,” Dale said in a somber voice. “It’s Rand McAllister. Dead as a doornail.”
Chapter Nine
What do you mean dead?” Sweetie’s nonsensical question only echoed the shock I felt at Dale’s stunning announcement.
The brothers stared at her like she was demented. “Dead, Sweetie,” Dale said. “Can’t put it any other way. He’s frozen stiff as a board.” He fixed his gaze on John. “Glad to find you here, John. Heard you used to be a doctor. Can you take him off our hands?”
John’s mouth dropped open. “Take him off your hands? And just what would you like me to do with him?”
Dale shrugged. “Have no idea, but he can’t stay with us.”
“We need to call the police,” I said. “Or the sheriff. Or someone.”
“Good idea,” Sam said, “except the phones don’t work, and I doubt they could get here anyway.”
“The phones in town were okay earlier,” Dan said. “When we get back, we’ll call the sheriff. It may take a while though. It’s mighty slow going. It could be a few hours before we can contact anyone.”
“And we can’t guarantee the phones will be working by the time we get there,” Dale interjected. He looked at his brother.
“Doesn’t Joe Loudermilk still have that old CB radio he plays with in his back room?”
Dan shrugged. “I have no idea, but if the phones are out, we could ask him about it.”
“But Joe’s probably at home,” I said. “How will you get into his store?”
The brothers both frowned at me. “We just take the key off the hook by the door.”
Living in Harmony took some getting used to. Obviously I hadn’t completely retrained my thinking from the way things are done in the big city. “Sorry. Guess I hadn’t thought it out.”
The brothers nodded at me simultaneously. For a second, I was reminded of Tweedledum and Tweedledee from Through the Looking Glass. I shook my head. Second time today I’d compared someone who lived in Harmony with a fictional character. Somehow it just seemed appropriate.
“Well, if you men could help us get Rand off the roof of the tractor cab—”
“He’s on the roof?” I asked, aghast. “Why is he on the roof?”
There was the look again. “Just where would you have put him?” Dale asked while Dan nodded briskly. “Guess we could have dragged him along behind us, but it didn’t seem…well…respectful. Thank goodness we had some rope with us. We just strapped him up there and drove to the closest farm.” The brothers looked at each other. “Seemed like the polite way of handling the situation.”
“Polite? Tying someone on the roof of a tractor?” I was obviously out of my league, so I just gave up. “Now what?” My question was directed to Sam, but Sweetie answered.
“Just put him in the barn,” she ordered. “On the big wood table in the middle. And for cryin’ out loud, cover him up with a horse blanket or somethin’.”
The brothers nodded together again. “Good idea,” Dan said.
“He’ll stay nice and cold out there until someone comes for him.”
“What about his family?” I said. “Someone needs to let them know.”
Once again the brothers shook their heads at the same time. “Too far from here. Rand’s place is halfway to Sunrise. It may be some time before we can get word to them.”
“We’ll help you take care of Rand,” Gabe said. “Let us grab our coats and meet you outside.”
Sweetie trotted quickly toward the front door, probably wanting to see Rand McAllister hog-tied to the top of a tractor cab. I, on the other hand, didn’t need that image in my mind. I turned the other way. Sam followed me to the kitchen.
“Guess I’ll go with them.” His expression made it clear he wasn’t enthusiastic about the proposition. But there really wasn’t much choice. Moving frozen dead bodies was definitely men’s work. At that moment, I was thoroughly grateful to be female. He returned my smile with a sickly one of his own and left the room to help the men take care of their macabre business.
As I fixed myself a cup of hot tea, I wondered how Rand got caught outside in the middle of a storm. Sam had told me more than once that snowstorms could be brutal in this part of the country. Surely Rand knew that. Maybe his car broke down, and he tried to go somewhere for help, just like Sarah. I felt bad for him and for his family. He’d been a very unpleasant man, but anytime someone dies tragically, it’s a sad event.
I sipped my tea while Sweetie spent her time checking her chicken and rolling out dough for biscuits. She didn’t share what she’d seen when she rushed out to see Rand’s body, and I didn’t ask. Actually, we didn’t talk much at all about anything. It had been an extremely stressful day. I was exhausted, mentally and physically. Sweetie must have felt it as well. For her to spend thirty minutes in silence was something that didn’t happen very often.
Finally Sam, John, and Gabe came back into the house. Their expressions were grim.
I stood up when they entered the kitchen. “Is…is everything…um, taken care of?”
Sam and John sat down in the chairs at the kitchen table while Gabe leaned up against the wall near the door.
“Well, he’s in the barn,” Sam said. “It doesn’t feel quite…proper. But I can’t think of anything else we could possibly do. Hopefully Dale and Dan will be able to contact the sheriff.” He shrugged. “I have no idea how long it’ll be until he’s picked up.”
“John, did you, um, look at him? Did he die of exposure?”
John shook his head. “It’s impossible to be certain without a thorough examination, but it’s a very good possibility. One thing I can tell you for certain, though. He’s been dead awhile.” He gestured toward the window. “This storm didn’t do it. My guess is he got drunk and lost his way. Wandered off and passed out. He probably never woke up.”
“So he was already dead by the time this storm hit?” I asked.
“I’m just guessing, but I think it’s the reason he didn’t show up for his meeting with Eric Thursday night.”
I frowned. “I know Rand hasn’t lived in Harmony as long as the rest of you, but he’s been here through several winters, right?”
The men nodded in unison.
“You’re wondering how he could get caught out in a storm like this.” Gabe said it matter-of-factly. “I think John’s right. He must have been three sheets to the wind. That’s the only way he’d be wandering around outside in the winter. He knew better.”
“I hope you’re right,” Sam said. “I’d hate to think his wife and daughter got stranded somewhere, and he was out looking for them.”
I couldn’t hold back a gasp. “Oh, Sam. Surely not.”
He rubbed his hand over his face. “Let’s not worry about it yet.
My guess is that John and Gabe have it right. Man, I sure wish the phones were working so we could check on them, though.”
Great. One more thing to think about. I’m a snow nut. Love it. But even I have my limits. This blizzard had exceeded them. First Sarah got stranded; now Rand was found dead. Jessica’s sad face floated through my mind. I said a silent prayer for her protection as well as her mother’s.
“Don’t start worryin’ about that girl,” Sweetie said, breaking her silence. “Her mama’s too smart to let her run around outside in nasty weather.” She pointed her spatula at us. “Look, I know I get cranky and say things I shouldn’t about people, and I know it’s wrong to speak ill of the dead, but what no one is sayin’ here is that Rand McAllister didn’t have the sense God gave a duck. Makin’ bad choices was par for the course with that man. Seems to me his last bad choice was…” Sweetie stared at us for a moment. “Well…his last bad choice. It’s an awful tragedy, but now it’s our job to help take care of
his family. Isn’t that what the Good Book says to do? What was that scripture about takin’ care of widows and orphans?”
“James 1:27,” Gabe said. “ ‘Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.’ ”
“That’s it,” Sweetie announced triumphantly. “Boy, I used to think religion was just a bunch of rules and regulations. When I read that scripture, I saw God in a whole new way.”
“Wait a minute,” John said. “You people believe in more than just helping widows and orphans. I thought you loved your religion.”
“We love God,” I said gently. “Religion is a set of beliefs, but it isn’t necessarily a relationship with God. Jesus had some pretty harsh things to say about the religious leaders of His day.”
“God is love,” Sam said. “Religion can actually push love out while it tries to enforce rules and restrictions on people.” He looked down at Buddy, who was curled up at his feet. Snickle leaned up against his old friend. Both snoozed away, oblivious to life’s trials. “It’s kind of like having a pet. I can try to train him through rules and punishment. Or I can love him. Develop a relationship of trust. Buddy would do anything I asked him to do because he trusts me so much. It would never occur to him that I would lead him in a direction that would hurt him. It’s kind of like that with God. He wants us to obey Him because we love Him and trust Him so much. Not because we’re trying to follow a set of regulations.” He sneaked a quick look at us, and his face flushed pink. “That’s probably an overly simple explanation….”
“It’s a perfect explanation,” Gabe said. “Take it from someone who’s been doing it the wrong way.” His gaze drifted toward the hallway stairs. “I’ve spent too much time trying to teach Sarah the rules. Not enough time showing her God’s love.” He smiled at John. “I still don’t believe you and Sarah should be together, son. But I like you very much. I hope we can be good friends.”