by Jayne Rylon
“Anyway, my mission came to an abrupt end when some guys I’d pissed off blew up my church. My handler, the person who had been my only connection to the outside world for years…he didn’t make it out.”
I put my hand on Santiago’s knee and squeeze, lightly enough not to cause him any more discomfort.
“If it wasn’t for Kaden, I wouldn’t have either. I’d just heard about the domestic violence incident at the gallery. I was scared something had happened to him and I wasn’t there to save him. I realized as I dragged myself out of the burning building that my priorities were fucked up. I was never going to let the person I loved most be unprotected again. I spent every minute between then and the moment I knocked on your door in hospitals and rehab doing whatever the doctors told me was impossible to get back here and fulfill the promise I made to myself in that moment. So as much as this stuff hurts.” He waves at his leg and the rest of his body. “It’s nothing compared to the fear and regret I lived with. I’m so grateful you found each other. And that you take such good care of him.”
Why does it suddenly seem like maybe I’m not doing what’s best for Kaden by standing between him and Santiago?
My stomach churns. I’ve spent a lot of time worrying that Kaden will ditch me and go back to Cortez. Maybe he should. Am I being selfish by keeping him to myself?
“Oh no. Get that look off your face,” Santiago snarls as he leans toward me. “I came clean. You can’t use that as an excuse to find yourself lacking somehow. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it. Right now.”
Easy for him to say when he doesn’t understand my concern. He confided in me. Can I do the same? I take a huge, shaky breath, then decide I need his advice.
“I’m only telling you this because I want to do right by Kaden as badly as you do.” I bite my lip and fidget as I consider carefully what I’m about to divulge. Kaden will be livid if he finds out. Like Santiago said, if we love him we should do what’s best for him despite the repercussions for ourselves. “Even though he slept around—a lot—he hasn’t let a guy control him since you.”
“I know, he told me.”
I relax. I’m relieved to have the green light to discuss something that’s been bugging me for a while. “So you think it’s normal that he doesn’t let me touch his ass and hasn’t been fucked in three years? You don’t think it’s dysfunctional or that someday he’ll snap and need those things again? Crave more than I can give? What if I’m not enough?”
Santiago doesn’t respond. His chest rises and falls more rapidly as he absorbs my questions. His pupils dilate. “Ah, Rogan. He wasn’t quite that explicit. That’s…he never…? Really?”
Shit! I put my face in my hands.
“Hey, it’s okay. Look at me.” Disobeying is not an option. “I appreciate you leveling with me. I won’t say anything. It makes perfect sense to be afraid of losing him. It’s devastating.” Santiago leans forward, staring at me. “But I’m telling you right now that he loves you every bit as much as he ever loved me. He wouldn’t have asked me to guard you if he didn’t. You leaving him ‘for his own good’ wouldn’t solve your problems. Trust me. I’ve been there, done that, and don’t want the T-shirt.”
“So what do we do? What’s best for him?”
“One thing that would probably help is if I get out of your hair and quit reminding him of how things used to be. If we force Ronaldo’s hand, you won’t need me anymore. Either of you. I’ll disappear again, and you two can get back to normal without me interfering.”
Isn’t that what caused this issue in the first place? Although I’m not sure I agree with his assessment of what’s best, the cowardly part of me that is still scared Kaden might leave me for Cortez doesn’t object. I do agree that having Ronaldo hanging over my head is complicating matters and distracting me from what should be most important. Kaden.
“Why do I get the feeling you could have tracked down Ronaldo and put an end to this mess weeks ago?” I ask. I suspect Cortez hasn’t enacted this plan earlier because then he'd have no reason to hang out here with me and, by proxy, would lose his connection to Kaden.
To be honest, I’ve known that all along. So why haven’t I minded his company despite the fact that his presence also makes me nervous?
For the first time, he doesn’t hold my stare. He looks away. “Because that’s true. Except I don’t think you’ll like my plan very much. I didn’t think you trusted me enough before to suggest it out of the blue.”
“Try me.”
“I recommend you leak the pictures yourself.”
“What?”
“See what I mean?” Santiago chuckles. “Ronaldo’s got them. I highly doubt he’s going to toss them in a drawer and forget about them, digging them out only when he needs something to jerk off to. If he can’t squeeze money from you anymore—and each day he fails makes it more apparent he can’t—he’s going to sell them to a gossip site. Guaranteed. Sure, you’ll sue him and win whatever he hasn’t blown in damages. But then you’re right back at this point with a disgruntled ex who has more reason to despise you than before. So steal his power. Force him to lose his temper and do something rash. When he comes crawling out of wherever he’s holed up to confront you, I’ll take him down.”
As a business executive, I often rely on experts. I’ve learned it’s best to recruit someone who knows what they’re doing onto my team and then take their advice. Otherwise, why bother wasting money on their services in the first place, right?
This is one of those times where I need to have faith that I’ve selected the right person for the post. Because I’m going to do it.
“You went really quiet.” Santiago is peering at me nervously. “Are you about to kick me out?”
I laugh. “No. I’m trying to think of the best way to do this.”
The gaze he levels at me then is full of heat and intensity. “Thank you for trusting me.”
It’s a little too intimate, reminds me too much of how a relationship with him might be in the bedroom. Extreme. Nothing held back. Risky. And worth the reward.
So I don’t respond. Instead I start speaking out loud as I come up with a plan. “I have the login information for the backend of Kaden’s website. I built his online shop. What if I use the photos to advertise for him? Draw attention to his art? He shot them. He deserves credit.”
“Friendly advice? Be prepared for him to rip you a new one if you expose yourself for his benefit. But secretly, I think he’ll love it.” Santiago smiles. “He’s proud of you—your accomplishments and how hot you are. You make him look like a stud.”
In the midst of such a shitty situation, I never expected to find myself having fun.
It takes less than ten minutes for me to load the image and set a ridiculous, five-figure price for each of the one hundred limited edition prints I place into Kaden’s inventory. It’s not like anyone is going to want a life-sized picture of me hanging on their wall anyway.
To set things over the top, I prep a press release and email it to my usual contacts at the major news agencies. Same as any other big deal I announce to the media. They’ll probably ignore it. If even one or two niche sites pick up the story, which we’ve spun as a “meet an up-and-coming artist’s muse” piece, that will help.
It shouldn’t take long for Ronaldo to realize he’s screwed.
“I have a few other things I need to finish and then we can get out of here. An hour or two, tops. Okay?”
Santiago nods then returns to his post, settling into the chair in the corner. I have a whole new respect for him and I think he would say the same. Though it’s difficult to concentrate at first, I lose myself in my regular business for a while.
Until a knock comes at my office door.
“Mr. Clearwater? I realize you’ve got your phone muted, but I need some direction on how to handle all these calls.” My assistant pokes her head in my office. It’s not like her to be sheepish. Still, she seems awfully interested in the carpet for some reason.
She clears her throat. No doubt about it. Something’s going on. “Everyone, pretty much. You’re going viral. Well…um…your photo is.”
I glance at Santiago. He doesn’t seem nearly as surprised as I am.
Our plan might have worked a little too well. Huh. “Give us a second, please?”
My assistant nods then hauls ass back to her desk. Probably to answer the phone, which I can now hear ringing off the hook.
Santiago glances out the window and curses. “The paps are swarming down there. Time to go, Rogan.”
I collect my belongings, shoving everything into my briefcase without organizing it first. Right then, my personal cell starts to buzz in my pocket.
I grimace and answer it immediately. “Hey, Kaden.”
“What the fuck, Rogan?”
“Sorry, I should have given you a heads up. I didn’t think anyone would notice before I came home tonight and had time to tell you about the idea Santiago and I came up with to get rid of Ronaldo for good.”
“Santiago?” he roars. “You mean Cortez? I should have known this was his fault. I don’t care if he is practically one of the X-Men. I’m going to kick his ass when he drops you off.”
“I can explain…”
“No, he will do the talking and take the heat for corrupting you. You were so adamant that those pictures not be seen by anyone except us when I took them. And now you’re whoring yourself out to my customers. For what? I thought that’s exactly what we were trying to avoid!”
“It looks like people noticed my press releases. That should be enough to accomplish our goal. We can take the photos down from your site before anyone buys one. Okay?”
“Too late!” His shout rattles my phone speaker.
“Ah, shit. I’ll refund that person and explain the situation. I’ll offer them additional compensation so they don’t leave your gallery a negative review or bad mouth you online.” How else can I make this right?
“I don’t give a fuck about that. I just don’t want strangers staring at you if you’re not comfortable with them knowing what a lucky bastard I am. You’re everywhere. The entire world has seen you naked. And, by the way, we’re not talking about a single customer here.”
Dread settles in the pit of my stomach. Just how viral is viral, exactly? “We’re not?”
“Seventy-two of the prints are claimed. Oh, wait, no. Three more orders have come in since we’ve been on the phone. These are going to sell out in the next hour. My online banking account is about to explode. I didn’t even know there was room for seven digits in the balance field. It was the credit union’s frantic call that tipped me off. They thought there was some kind of scam going on.”
“Oh. Oops.” There was no putting this cock back in the barn, so to speak.
“Can you please come home so we can figure this out? I…I don’t like it. I feel like Ronaldo is going to be pissed and unpredictable. I don’t like this at all.”
“Of course. We’re on our way.” I clear my throat—better to say it now and give Kaden a chance to cool down before we get there. “And yes, that was the point. Bring things with Ronaldo to a head. So make sure you have the security system engaged and stay inside until we arrive, please.”
“Cortez better hope he’s wearing a cup. I’m going to knee him right in the balls when I see him. I swear I am.”
“I love you, Kaden.”
Grudgingly, he puts aside his fury for what’s most important. “I love you too, even if you have earned yourself one hell of a spanking for this stunt. See you soon.”
I slip my phone into my pocket. Santiago is already there, taking my briefcase and clasping my elbow. Before I can even give my assistant additional direction or help her out, he’s hauling me toward the elevators and barking instructions.
I do exactly as he says.
We slip out a side entrance in the food services area of the building. I see now why he parks my car over here by the Dumpsters lately. Despite the short walk behind cover, we barely make it to the vehicle before we’re spotted.
Santiago tucks me into the passenger side of my car then cuts a swath through the reporters mobbing the vehicle. Flashes blind me. They hurl yelled questions at us. So many, and so loud, I can’t hear any of them clearly.
Before we’re surrounded entirely, Santiago sternly warns the paparazzi not to stand in his way. I’d listen if I were them. Then he slides into the driver’s seat and gets us the hell out of there.
It’s quiet in the car as we escape.
“So Kaden’s even more pissed at me now, huh?” His expression doesn’t change. Still, I can tell it’s another blow. One that pains him more than his physical injuries.
“I’ll make things right with him.”
He glances over at me somberly. “It’s better if you don’t. Let him give up on me.”
We’re on the highway, headed toward home, before I can manage to say, “Thank you, Santiago.”
Instead of replying “you’re welcome”, he dodges the tough stuff again. Or at least he tries when he asks, “Are you ever going to call me Cortez?”
“Nope.”
“Come on. It’s a mouthful and it sounds weird. Only my mom calls me that.”
“Your mom and me, I guess. Get used to it.” It feels strange to speak so directly to him. I’m not budging on this one.
“Can I ask why?” He grips the steering wheel. Tight. Muscles knot along his cut arms.
“Because Cortez is the bastard who broke my boyfriend’s heart. Santiago is a guy I consider a friend. I hope however this works out that you’ll keep in touch. Not only for Kaden’s sake, but for mine. With time, maybe things will get easier between us. I still think that’s a better option than you vanishing again. Repeating your same mistake with him.”
“Oh.” He’s pensive for a while. His only movements are his eyes flicking between the road and the rearview mirror. I’m sure I’ve finally pierced his armor when he breathes deep, then exhales in a long, shaky sigh that makes me wish I could hug him. “In that case, can I make a suggestion from one friend to another?”
“Why do I have a feeling I’m not going to like this?”
“Because you’re not. But you’re a reasonable man. So you’ll take every precaution to ensure your safety so that Kaden doesn’t have to go through losing another partner.”
I groan. “Of course I will. Hell, I already flashed the entire world for him. What more can I do?”
“Now that Ronaldo has lost his only asset, he’s temporarily more dangerous than before. It’s imperative that we catch him before someone gets caught in the crossfire. Fortunately, I don’t think it’s going to take long before he makes his move. When he does, I’ll get him. I promise you that.”
I nod somberly. “I know you will.”
“Rogan, I’m not saying this to make you feel guilty. Normal people don’t think about things like I do. I’ve seen… Anyway, you know if Ronaldo comes after you, Kaden could easily become collateral damage.”
The thought alone is enough to make me shiver. “Should I break up with him?”
“As much as I’d like to be selfish and encourage you to do something stupid like that so I can have another shot with him…no. Like I said before, I only care that he’s happy, settled. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. He is with you. But he also needs to be protected.”
“What do you suggest?”
“Convince him to let me move in to your spare bedroom until this is over.”
I laugh. Until I realize he’s not joking. It’s actually an order, one he expects me to obey.
“Son of a bitch.” I squeeze the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger.
“Yup. Right now, buddy, I’m glad he’s your boyfriend and not mine. Good luck with that.”
“How am I supposed to do this?”
“I recommend you butter him up with one hell of a blowjob first. Always worked
for him when he’d done something to piss me off.”
I knock my head against the car window, mostly to get that image out of my head before I spring a hard-on that would be difficult to explain to my already agitated boyfriend. Fortunately, when we arrive, he’s too busy going off on Santiago to notice my lingering arousal.
How we navigate the next few days is going to make or break us.
Please let adversity be the force that fuses us together instead of the one that tears us apart.
30
Kaden
Rogan is snoring softly, crashed out in my arms.
Apparently he’s not bothered by the fact that everyone on Earth is discussing his junk. He’s already been declared the hottest man alive and the city’s most eligible bachelor.
It also didn’t faze him when I freaked the fuck out over the piles of undeserved money in my bank account. Instead, he suggested I trade the cash he’d earned by looking so sexy in exchange for this whole building. When I reluctantly agreed, he printed out one of his standard real estate contracts and made it official right there at our dinner table.
This place is now mine, free and clear.
He offered to do both, deed me the house and let me keep the money. He’s nuts.
Of course I declined. He’s already given me something more important than wealth. No matter what happens between us in the future, I’ll never have to leave my home.
I’m embarrassed to admit that alleviated some anxiety I hadn’t realized was gnawing at me. I’m oddly relieved on that front.
Other fronts are an entirely different story.
How the hell am I supposed to sleep when I’m lying in bed with my boyfriend and the other love of my life is right down the hall, also under my roof? If Cortez is anything like he used to be, he’s naked in between our fancy sheets.
I must have been temporarily insane to agree to this.
Except we all know Ronaldo is going to show his hand soon. He’s too stupid and desperate to let this go now. I’d rather have Cortez as close as possible when the shit hits the fan.