Damn it! Why did he have to be sweet… and funny?
“It’s fine,” I said to the sidewalk. “Nothing to forgive, so we can go now.”
Another step, another tightening of his hand on my arm, refusing to let go. I was really starting to get annoyed with that. I finally tilted my head up and met his remorseful gaze. “Seriously, Derrick. I said it’s fine, okay? I forgive you, it’s all good.”
One corner of his mouth tipped up in a smirk and I really wanted to dislike it, I swear I did. I just couldn’t. “Why don’t I believe you, sunshine?”
“Because you’re a self-absorbed asshole?” I asked without a thought then slapped my hands over my mouth, in shock by what I’d just said out loud.
“Thought so,” he chuckled, good-naturedly.
“Oh my God,” I mumbled behind my hands before pulling them away. “I’m so sorry! I can’t believe I said that. I don’t know what came over me!”
“You were pissed off,” he continued to laugh in that deep, rich baritone of his. “And rightfully so. What I said to you a few days ago was fucked up. I was in a bad mood and took that out on you, and for that, I’m sorry, Chloe. From the bottom of my heart.”
It was times like this that I wished I was like Harlow, with her thick skin and take-no-shit attitude. But I wasn’t. And somehow, despite being polar opposites, we’d managed to become best friends. I just didn’t have it in me not to forgive someone. That was why I found myself nodding and offering Derrick a small but genuine grin. “You’re forgiven.”
And he was, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still feeling the sting of that fateful Fourth of July picnic. That was the type of humiliation a woman like me never bounced back from. So, while I might have forgiven Derrick for his cruel words earlier that week, I still didn’t know how to be around him, how to act. That rejection was still playing on a constant loop in my head.
We made our way through the gates in companionable silence, or at least as companionable as possible, given the entire situation. We spotted Noah’s head standing taller than most of the women and children around him. He looked like he’d rather be anywhere else at that moment, and despite the fact I loved the guy like a brother, I couldn’t help but smile at his misery.
“Haven’t seen that look in a while,” Derrick spoke from beside me, startling me out of my musings.
“Huh?”
“The smile,” he grinned back at me as he pointed to my mouth. “Haven’t seen you smile recently. I was starting to think that sunshine disappeared.”
My lips tilted into a frown as my forehead creased in confusion. “I smile all the time.”
“Maybe so,” he shrugged as we walked, “but not at me. I’m beginning to miss it.”
His words were spoken with such ease, such casualness that he couldn’t have possibly known my heart was splintering in my chest at that very moment. Just then, I couldn’t think of a pain greater than wanting someone so completely, you felt it in every cell of your body, only to have that same desire go unfulfilled. Unrequited love really was a bitch. And she could go straight to hell for all I cared.
“Miss Chloe, let’s go ride the Gravitron!” Eliza yelped once Derrick and I made it to our group.
“Okay,” I laughed, peering down at the excited girl, at the same time Noah said, “I’m out. Pretty sure I just got mean-mugged by a six-year old that thought I was cutting in line, I’ll be in the beer garden if you guys need me.”
“I’m gonna go find my friends,” Ethan muttered, eyes still glued to his phone as he wandered off.
“And I’m gonna sit on this nice, comfy bench.” Harlow plopped down with a sigh and kicked her legs out in front of her. If you guys ride all the rides in this general area…” she made a circle in front of her with her finger, “…I’ll cheer you on from here. Anywhere else and you’re on your own.”
A giggle escaped my throat as Eliza reached up to take my hand. “Ready?”
“Yep,” I answered and turned to look at Derrick, he looked like his puppy had just run away as he watched after Noah’s retreating form.
I rolled my eyes at how pathetic men were and told him, “If you want to go with Noah, I’m happy to keep Eliza company.”
“You sure?” he asked a little too eagerly.
“Absolute—” and just like that, he was gone, actually shouting, “Hey Noah! Wait up!” as he jogged through the crowd.
With a shrug, I clasped my hand tighter around Eliza’s and led her to the Gravitron. Then Pharaoh’s Fury. Then the ride that swung you around in a circle from a cable, swinging us out above the lake. Then that damned ride that takes you high up in the air just to drop you over and over again. By the time we finished, I needed a break, or I was liable to revisit everything I had for breakfast earlier that day. Luckily Eliza decided she wanted to ride the carousel, giving me a much-needed reprieve from the stomach-churning rides. I took a seat on the bench next to Harlow and shook her awake.
“I’m awake, Noah, I swear!” she shouted with a jolt as she became conscious of her surroundings. “Oh thank God,” she sighed, leaning against the back of the bench with her hand on her chest as I laughed at her. “I thought I’d fallen asleep during sex again.”
“Again?” I cried as hysterical laughter bubbled from my chest.
“It’s this baby!” she insisted dramatically. “It’s sucking the life force out of me, I swear.”
“Hi Miss Chloe! Hey! Ms. Harlow’s awake!” Eliza hollered as she made her way around to our side of the carousel before disappearing once again.
“She’s adorable, isn’t she?” Harlow asked on a smile.
“She really is.” Having kids of my own was something I’d always just assumed would happen one day. I just knew I’d get married to a wonderful guy and pop out our brood. I didn’t dwell on it, just always considered it a foregone conclusion. It wasn’t until Harlow’s pregnancy progressed that I started to think about it more and more. I wasn’t getting any younger, and as the years passed by, my single status remained disappointingly in place. Having met Eliza only made that need for a child all the more prominent.
“And she seems to be really taken with you,” she grinned, nudging my arm.
I felt my cheeks flush under her gaze. “Really? You think?” I wasn’t sure why her confirmation was so important to me, but just the thought of Eliza holding me in a high regard made my chest squeeze.
“Definitely. You’re a lovable person.”
I looked back at the little girl and smiled, waving back at her as she made another go-round. “And by everything you’ve told me, she’s probably hungry for a woman’s attention,” I grumbled, the dislike of her mother having grown stronger the better I got to know Eliza.
“That woman,” Harlow nearly growled. “Don’t even get me started on her. Raving bitch… or at least that’s what I’ve gathered from what Noah’s told me. Derrick doesn’t really say much about her to anyone else. But I’ll tell you this, that woman better pray she never crosses my path.”
“I know the feeling,” I murmured as I waved again at a brightly smiling Eliza. “I’ll hold her down for you.”
“You got a deal,” she agreed holding out her fist for me to bump.
Derrick
“SO HOW LONG do you have her?”
I didn’t bother looking at Noah. I didn’t have to; I knew exactly who he was talking about. “Who the fuck knows,” I grunted under my breath as I lifted the bottle to my lips and sucked down a mouthful of ice-cold beer. What should have been refreshing, tasted like sand in my mouth as bitter thoughts of Layla bounced around in my head. “She’s off in Barbados or something with her sugar daddy.”
“Aren’t you supposed to get her for a whole month during the summer anyway?”
I let out a sarcastic bark of laughter. “That’s what the papers say, but you know as well as I do that Layla takes any opportunity she can to screw with me. She doesn’t have time for her most days, but when it comes up on my month-long visitation, s
he suddenly has plans to take Eliza on some family vacation.” I say the words callously. “I wasn’t going to be the asshole that told her she couldn’t go to Disney World because her mom booked the tickets during my month. Layla played it perfectly. If I’d have said no, I’d have been the bad guy.”
“Jesus Christ, man. How the hell were you married to her for so long?”
“Not sure, I’ve blocked out all memories,” I chuckled before downing the rest of my beer.
Noah’s phone chimed and he pulled it out of his pocket to read the text. “Harlow says she’s got a sudden burst of energy. They’re on the move, we’re supposed to meet up with them by the whack-a-mole booth. Apparently Eliza spotted a giant pink bear she wants you to win for her.”
I smiled as I stood and tossed my empty beer bottle into a nearby trashcan. “Sudden burst of energy? Thinking maybe you should find the nearest bathroom and bang her up against the wall. At least then she won’t fall asleep on you.”
A mother walking by with a heard of toddlers shot me a killing glare as she covered the nearest kids’ ears. I gave her an apologetic smile as Noah punched me in the arm. “Bastard. See if I ever lay my troubles on you again.”
“Feel free to never cry on my shoulder.”
“But…” he sputtered. “That’s what friends are for!”
I rolled my eyes as we made our way out of the beer garden and toward the game booths. “I’m thinking Harlow’s pregnancy hormones are rubbing off, brother. I’m half expecting you to break out in song or tears any time now.”
“If I have to sit through one more screaming fit ‘cause I bought regular chocolate ice cream instead of double fudge, I just might cry.”
“I don’t envy your life,” I informed him with a sympathetic pat on the head.
“Pfft. Please,” he scoffed. “I’m married to the hottest woman in Pembrooke who’s currently pregnant with our love child. When she’s not passing out, the sex is phenomenal. You wish you had my life.”
“Tied down by an ass load of strings just waiting to strangle the life out of me? No thanks. Been there, got the fucked up t-shirt. I’ve got no plans of ever going back.”
“For Christ’s sake, Derrick,” Noah grunted, somewhat angrily. “You had a bad experience, who the hell doesn’t? Marriage isn’t a life sentence if you aren’t married to a bitch from hell.”
“Language!” another mother close by shouted at Noah.
“Look,” I looked across my shoulder at him. “I’m happy for you, man. I really am. Harlow’s great. But I’ve been down that road once already, and I’ve got no desire to get back on it.”
“You know, when the day comes you fall ass-over-elbow for another woman, you can count on me being there to rub that shit in your face.”
I chuckled again. “Never gonna happen.”
Chloe
I STARED UP at the Ferris wheel as it made its slow journey around, the warm sun beating down on my head, no doubt burning the ever-loving hell out of my fair skin. I was sure I’d wake up tomorrow morning with a whole slew of brand new freckles dotting my face and arms.
The woes of being a redhead.
The ride came to a stop as people climbed off and others took their place. I always loved the Ferris wheel. It was the one thing I wanted to ride most whenever the summer carnival came around, but watching it now, as one loving couple was replaced with another, I felt a pang of sadness at not having someone special to ride with. Sure, I could have gotten in line at any point, but considering I was by myself, I’d either have been stuck with a complete stranger, or alone, something that, in my current mood, I just didn’t want to deal with.
Yep, I was officially in the throes of a full-blown pity party, and it seriously made me want to punch myself in the face. I was single, so what? So the guy I’d been pining over didn’t like me back? Boo-freaking-hoo. “I have a great life,” I whispered to myself, refusing to go one more second feeling sorry for myself.
Then I heard it and the mental smack down I’d just been giving myself flew out the window. “There you are.”
I looked to the side just as Derrick came to a stop next to me. “Harlow said you wandered off. Thought you might want to see me whack the shit out of some moles to win Eliza a hideous pink bear that’s almost as big as me.”
A laugh escaped against my will at the image of Derrick toting a giant pink bear around the carnival for the rest of the day. “Good luck with that. Those moles can be tricky little assholes,” I said, my eyes, glued to the Ferris wheel.
“Hey,” Derrick spoke, drawing my attention to him. “You want to ride?” he asked with a chin tilt toward the slowing wheel.
“Oh, uh… nah,” I lied. “I think I’ve got whiplash from doing the bumper cars with Eliza.”
“You sure?” he pushed, his large frame ducking down to get a closer look at my eyes. “’Cause I’ll ride with you, if you want.”
“Nope.” The ‘p’ popped loudly, my voice sounding way too cheerful even to my own ears. “You should get back to the booths. Don’t you have a mole to whack and a pink bear to win?”
One corner of his tilted up in a smirk. “I’m sure if I tried hard enough I could make that seem dirty.” The heat on my cheeks had nothing to do with the sun. “You coming?”
“Nah, I think I’m gonna go look for something to eat, I’m feeling kind of hungry. But I’ll catch up with you later.”
Geez, I couldn’t have been any more awkward if I’d tried!
I started to walk away, only to be stopped by a hand on my elbow. When I looked back over my shoulder, Derrick was frowning. “You really don’t like me, do you?”
“What?” I asked on a shocked gasp.
“It’s all right if you don’t, I guess. It’s just that I’ve never been outright disliked by someone and not at least known why.”
“Derrick,” I said his name softly as I turned to fully face him. “I don’t hate you.”
“Then what the hell’s going on?” he asked vehemently. “I know we’ve never been all that tight, but I always thought we got along pretty well. Was I wrong for assuming that?”
A headache was beginning to form behind my eyes. “No… Derrick, I like you, okay?” I spoke as I reached up and massaged my forehead with my fingertips.
“Then what’s the deal? Hell, at least you used to talk to me, now you hardly even look at me. I’m sorry for what I said at the bakery, Chloe. If you’re still upset—”
“It’s not that,” I insisted.
“Tell me what it is then,” Derrick demanded.
“You called me Cathy!” I nearly shouted, sounding just as stupid out loud as it did in my head.
“Huh?”
I’d already come this far, there was no point in stopping, seeing as I couldn’t make a bigger ass out of myself as I already had. “At Noah and Harlow’s July Fourth party. I came up to you to…” shit, shit, shit, shit… “ask you out and you were staring at Tammy Bradford’s boobs the whole time and said, ‘Excuse me, Cathy, I’ll be back in a few.’” I repeated in my best impression of a man’s voice, which was seriously lacking. “Then you walked off,” I finished with a shrug, staring at a spot on his shoulder the entire time, unable to meet his eyes.
“You… were trying to ask me out?”
Another shrug.
“I called you Cathy?”
“I just figured you’d never noticed me enough to remember my name. I’d had a crush on you since you moved to Pembrooke, and you didn’t even remember my name. It… stung,” I admitted sheepishly.
He remained silent for several seconds, and I waited for God to show mercy on me and open a hole beneath my feet. Then, “Ah, fuck!”
My eyes darted to his at the heaviness in just those two words. I watched in confusion as he reached up to drag his hands through his silky looking hair, appearing to be thinking really hard about something. “Hell, sunshine. I knew your name. I’ve always known your name.” His brow was furrowed as he continued to explain. “I’d ju
st spent the entire night handling a domestic with Carl Sanders and his wife…”
“Cathy,” I breathed, knowing exactly whom Derrick was referring to. Carl and Cathy Sanders where notorious in Pembrooke for getting drunk and having the cops called when Cathy had enough of Carl’s mouth and popped him in the face with whatever was close by.
“Yeah,” he murmured softly. “I was going on almost no sleep, and I guess the fact that both your names start with a C… I just got tangled up.”
Well didn’t I just feel like a freaking moron. I’d just basically confessed my feelings for a guy who wasn’t interested in me, and admitted to being butt-hurt for over a month about something that was a simple mistake. I was an idiot. If the ground didn’t open up and swallow me, I was going to dig my own goddamned hole and climb right in.
“Uh… okay.”
“Look, Chloe…” Ah hell, he suddenly had that extremely uncomfortable look. You know, the one where a guy’s trying to think of the best way to let a woman down without her making a scene in public, or going full on Fatal Attraction.
“Derrick, really, it’s okay,” I started, hoping to cut him off at the pass. No such luck.
“I do like you, honestly. But…” Damn you, ‘but!’ Damn you straight to hell! “I’m just not that guy. You deserve someone who can commit and will treat you like you deserve.” Basically, someone I’d hoped for way too long that he’d be. “After my divorce, I’m just not capable of that. I’m flattered, really. It’s an honor to know you feel that way about me—”
“Felt,” I lie, emphasizing the hell out of the tense.
“Huh?”
“I felt that way about you, not feel. Past tense, not present.” Shut up you moron. “I mean, it was just a silly crush,” I laughed uncomfortably, trying my best to cover up the truth. “But I’m totally over it,” I said with a wave of my hand. I might have even snorted for effect. Because I was awesome like that.
His brows shot up on his forehead, those hazel eyes going momentarily wide. “Oh. Okay, well great. But either way, I just wanted to explain, it’s not you. You’re great. It’s me—”
Sweet Sunshine Page 4