Sweet Sunshine

by Jessica Prince

  He slid against me, his rigid length pushing against where I needed it the most. At the pressure of his cock grinding against my core, my head fell back against the pillow, a low, guttural sound coming from deep within my throat.

  “You drive me fucking crazy,” he murmured as his lips moved lower and lower. “I can’t get you out of my head, no matter how hard I try.”

  His tongue flicked my straining nipple, shooting pulsing waves of pleasure to my center, making me even wetter, more desperate. With each lash of his tongue, my body writhed against his, searching for something to send me over the edge, into the abyss.

  “Oh, God. Don’t stop doing that.” I let out a cry when his mouth pulled away.

  He moved back up my body, his lips close to my ear when he whispered, “Tell me you want me inside you.” My mouth opened to follow his command only to get stuck in my throat. He let out a pained moan as his hips undulated against me. “Say it.”

  “I—” my brain chose that very moment to reengage, pushing back the pleasure coursing through me and pulling rationality to the forefront of my mind. This wasn’t me. I couldn’t do this with all the uncertainty that loomed between us. I wasn’t one to ever judge a person on their choices, but I also wasn’t the kind of person who could have meaningless sex. Maybe it was the romantic in me that still pined after the fairytale ending, but I knew if I slept with Derrick and it turned out it was just a heat of the moment thing for him, I’d be crushed.

  “Wait. Wait, wait, wait.” My palms spread wide on his bare chest, giving him a tiny shove back, even as my body screamed at the loss of his weight.

  Derrick’s voice was soft, laced with concern as he lifted up slightly so he could look down at me. “What’s the matter?” I shook my head back and forth in confusion. The pads of his fingers ran along my forehead, moving the hair off my face and tucking it gently behind my ear. I had to clench my eyes closed at the soothing action.

  “Chloe?” he asked when I said nothing. “Baby, look at me.”

  I couldn’t. I shook my head again in answer. I couldn’t get my spiraling thoughts under control. I struggled to calm the war raging inside of me, I registered his movement just seconds before the light on the bedside table clicked on.

  “Sunshine. Open your eyes.”

  I managed to peel my eyelids open and looked up at him as he rested on his haunches between my still-spread thighs, his shaft straining against the blue cotton of his boxer briefs. It wasn’t until I caught his gaze skating along my chest before snapping back to my face that I realized I was still topless, exposed.

  “Uh…” I pulled the sheet across my breasts, holding it against me like a shield. “Can you… could you hand me my shirt?”

  He leaned over the edge of the bed and snatched my shirt off the floor, passing it my way. I pulled it over my head in a rush as I scooted back on the mattress until my back rested against the headboard.

  “Tell me what’s going through your head,” he said, moving closer to me, closing the space I’d just put between us, the space I desperately needed in order to think clearly.

  “I—” my voice cracked on the emotion suddenly clogging my throat. “I can’t do this if it’s… if it’s not going to mean anything to you.” I watched as his eyebrows formed a deep V. “You think this wouldn’t mean anything to me?”

  I released a pent up breath as I ran my hands over my face agitatedly. “No. I mean yes! God, I’m not saying this right!”

  I shivered at the contact when his hands landed on my shins, rubbing in soothing circles. “Just relax, sunshine. It’s just me. Take a deep breath and get it out.” I did as he instructed, inhaling deeply through my nose and blowing it out past my lips. “Can you…” I pointed down at his hands that had managed to make their way up my legs. “It’s hard to think straight when you’re touching me like that.” I gave him a shy grin. He smirked in return as he held his palms up.

  “Not touching you,” he chuckled. “Now tell me what’s happening in that gorgeous head of yours.”

  “You said I deserved a man who could commit to me.” He flinched as I reminded him of the conversation we’d had in front of the Ferris wheel. The same conversation that managed to crush any hopes I’d had of us being more. “What’s changed between then and now?” He let out a long sigh as he ran a hand through his hair and cupped the back of his neck. The sudden deflation in his shoulders caused my head to tilt as I studied his face closely. “Or has nothing changed at all?”

  He paused. Then, “Chloe…” he sighed again, and I had my answer.

  And it gutted me.

  “I understand your reasons for shying away from commitment,” I informed him, my voice hard as I fought the sting building behind my eyes. “I’ve met the reason, and I can’t fault you for your choices, Derrick. But you know me.” That was what hurt the most, honestly. “You know I’m not capable of giving you what you’ve had from the other women in town.” I paused as my anger built and my heart splintered apart in my chest. “You know me.”

  “Sunshine—”

  “Admit it!” I snapped. “Admit you knew I wasn’t like your other women.”

  I watched in morbid fascination as his eyes widened just slightly and the realization of what I was saying caused the color to bleed from his face. “I knew, sunshine. But that’s not what—”

  I jumped from the bed, unable to stand being so close to him. “Did you, or did you not climb into be with me tonight with the sole purpose of getting into my pants?”

  God, I didn’t want the answer to that.

  But I needed to know. I needed the truth.

  “That wasn’t all this was!” He insisted.

  “You wanted to have sex with me.” It wasn’t a question.

  “Yes,” he ground out.

  “And afterward?”

  “I…” he trailed off, momentarily lost for words before finishing with a ragged, “I don’t know.”

  My chest heaved with every labored breath I took. “You said you wanted to be my friend because you cared about me.”

  “I do! I do care! Fuck, Chloe!”

  “Then tell me you didn’t come in here to use me like you’ve used every other willing woman in Pembrooke.” A few tears broke free and I quickly batted them away, only to have more fall in their place. “I need you to tell me that, because I’ve been in love with you since I met you.” His chest expanded as he sucked in air, his expression like I’d just slapped him. “I accepted you at your word when you said you weren’t able to give me what I needed, and I agreed to be your friend because I’d rather have that from you than nothing at all. So I need you to tell me you weren’t using me. I need you to say it, because the thought that you’d have such little respect for me hurts worse than you could imagine.”

  He moved toward me, his face ravaged as he tried to reach for me, but I moved out of his grasp. “Sunshine…”

  My voice shook as I said, “Just tell me the truth.”

  “You told me you didn’t feel like that anymore,” he stated frantically, continuing in my direction. “You said it was a crush and you were over it!”

  “I lied,” I whispered brokenly.

  “Fuck!” He began pacing in front of the fireplace, his hands fisted in his hair.

  He still hadn’t told me what I needed to hear. But it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. I would have known it was a lie. He could have tried to paint over the truth with sweet, placating words, but in the end, the outcome would have been the same.

  My heart was broken, once again.

  “At least answer one question for me,” I demanded, surprised at the strength in my words despite my tears. “Would we have still been friends come morning, or would I have been discarded like the rest of them?”

  “You aren’t like the rest of them,” he said quietly, shaking his head as he stared me in the eyes.

  “That’s not an answer.”

  “I don’t know! I don’t know, Chloe. My head’s a fucking mess when it comes
to you. I don’t know what I’m doing or what I want to happen. I can’t fucking think straight when you’re around.”

  I was officially done.

  “I know this is your house and you’re going to do what you want to do in the end, but I’d appreciate it if you’d get out of this room.”

  “But we need to talk about this.”

  “I’m all talked out,” I said with a defeated shrug. “I’m exhausted and feel like shit. I just want to sleep.” It was a lie, but I knew playing the sick card would work. Derrick was nothing if not insanely protective.

  “We’ll talk in the morning,” he proclaimed, his shoulders squaring as his chin came up like what he’d just said was definitive. “You’ll get some sleep and we’ll talk this through in the morning. Everything’s going to be just fine, Chloe. You’ll see.” I stood, frozen in place as he came close and pressed a tender kiss to my forehead. “Rest, baby. Then we’ll talk.”

  It took ten seconds for my feet to come unglued from the floor once the bedroom door closed behind him, then I was a flurry of motion, dumping all of my stuff into my duffle bag haphazardly as I snatched up my phone and dialed.

  I spoke as soon as the line connected. “I’m so sorry for calling this late,” I managed to get out just before the sobs broke loose, “but can you come get me? Please?”

  Derrick

  HOLY SHIT, WHAT did I just do?

  That sentence had been the only thing floating around in my head since walking out of Chloe’s — well, technically my — bedroom fifteen minutes ago.

  I froze.

  When she asked me what would happen between us come morning, if we’d still be friends, I completely fucking froze. And I hated myself because the tears in her eyes and the pain etched across her beautiful face were all my fault. All because I’d been too much of a coward to admit there was something between us, something so much more, and it terrified the shit out of me. There was no way in hell she’d have been discarded. She’d managed to burrow herself under my skin, and I was starting to come to grips with the fact that she was there to stay. Hell, I wanted her there!

  But did I say any of that?

  Fuck no.

  I locked up and managed to break her heart in the process, even though that was the last thing on Earth I ever wanted to do.

  I needed to fix things between us now. I couldn’t wait until morning. I knew pushing when she was sick was a shitty thing to do, but I couldn’t let her fall asleep thinking I wasn’t totally and completely fucking in this with her. She had to know the truth. I stood from the couch, prepared to grovel like my life depended on it — which felt about right considering the tightness in my chest — when the glow of headlights poured into my living room through the opened curtains, lighting up the once dark space. I made it to the door just as a knock sounded.

  “Noah?” I asked once the door was opened. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end at his stony expression. “Man. What’d you do?”

  With that one quietly spoken question the blood in my veins ran ice cold. “No,” I stated with finality once it dawned on me why he was at my house at such an ungodly hour.

  “Don’t have much of a choice man.” He gave me a pitying look. “Can’t force her to stay.”

  “I’m ready,” Chloe’s voice sounded through the room, stabbing straight through my chest like a goddamned knife.

  “You’re not leaving.”

  Panic. Bone chilling panic began coursing through me as she moved closer to the door, eyes focused on her feet as she moved, refusing to look at me. “Please move,” she said quietly once she stood a foot away.

  “Chloe, look at me.”

  Nothing.

  “Please, baby. Just look at me.” I was begging. Christ, I’d never begged a woman for anything in my life. Not even Layla when we were married. But I wasn’t above doing anything and everything in my power to get her to hear me out. “I’m sorry. Look, we need to talk, okay? I need to explain—”

  She cut me off. “I want to go home.”

  “Sunshine, you’re not leaving,” I whispered. I reached up to touch her only to have her head snap up, eyes narrowed as she glared. Her normally gorgeous jade eyes were so full of pain and anger, I felt it all the way down to my bones.

  “Fine!” she snapped. Her little hands hit my chest and she shoved with all her might, rocking me back a foot, just enough clearance for her to make it through the open door.

  “Goddamn it!” I shouted, darting out after her, oblivious to Noah’s wide-eyed stare as his gaze darted between us. “You’re not fucking leaving!” I latched on to her upper arm and tried to pull her against me. Despite her struggle, I was convinced, if I could just touch her, hold her, kiss her, I could calm her down enough to make her see reason. But she wasn’t having any of that.

  “Let. Go.” Luckily her kick went wide, missing my shin by a couple inches. I couldn’t imagine how badly that would have hurt had she actually connected with my leg. I loosened my hand just enough for her to pull free as I tried to keep away from her flailing foot.

  Before I had a chance to grab her again, Noah was in front of me.

  “Just give her time to cool off,” he spoke. But my gaze was riveted to the tiny woman with strawberry blonde curls walking away from me. My lungs felt like they were being squeezed in a vice. I couldn’t get enough air as she closed herself in Noah’s truck.

  “I can’t,” I croaked.

  “Look, just let her sleep it off for a few hours, all right? There’s no reasoning when they get like this. It’s like talking to a brick fucking wall, brother.”

  “I need her to let me explain.

  “Don’t we all.” He patted my shoulder compassionately before adding, “Welcome to the club, you poor son of a bitch.”

  I finally pulled my attention off his truck and looked down at him. “Huh?”

  “You’re sprung my friend. Wrapped around her little finger. In other words, officially fucked. Sucks feeling like you aren’t in control of shit anymore, doesn’t it?”

  All I could do was stand there as he turned and made his way to the truck that was going to take Chloe away from me.

  “I’m screwed, aren’t I?” I asked his retreating back.

  “Absolutely!” he answered far too cheerfully. The bastard.

  Chloe

  FOR THE FIRST time in my life, baking wasn’t helping calm my frayed nerves. From the moment Noah dropped me off at my place, I’d been in the kitchen, mixing, icing, decorating, you name it, and nothing had helped.

  “Uh…” Erin murmured from her place a few feet away as I banged on the espresso machine like it owed me money. “Are you sure you should have come in today?”

  “Yep!” Bang. “I told you, I’m fine.” Bang, bang.

  “But Derrick said—”

  “Derrick’s an idiot!” She took a step back at my banshee-like yell. People sitting at the tables enjoying their breakfast and coffees paused to stare. “Sorry,” I grumbled before sucking in a calming breath. The last thing I needed to do was bite my employees’ heads off when they’d done nothing wrong. “I’m just tired. I didn’t get any sleep and the stupid delivery guy called this morning and informed me the new convection oven isn’t coming in for another two days.”

  She still sounded hesitant as she shuffled toward the kitchen door. “Well, I’ll uh… just let you get to it,” then she made her escape like her ass was on fire.

  “You’re just a regular ray of sunshine this morning, aren’t you?”

  I shot a heated look over my shoulder at Harlow, who’d shown up at Sinful Sweets as soon as the doors unlocked an hour and a half ago. “Don’t you work?”

  “Nope.” She made an annoying popping sound on the “p”. “Maternity leave is in full effect. Now you get to see my smiling face every day until I push this little bundle of joy out of my body Alien style.” She gave her belly an affectionate rub.

  “Lucky me,”
I deadpanned.

  “You know, you can’t avoid the subject forever—”

  “Watch me,” I interrupted, refusing to tell her what went down between me and Derrick that warranted a rescue call at the butt crack of dawn.

  “Chloe,” she said in a warning tone just as the bell over the door rang.

  “Oh, sorry,” I fake winced. “Looks like you’ll have to wait, I’ve got a new customer.”

  She crossed her arms with a “hmph” and pouted as I turned to see who had just walked in. “Fletch!” I said in surprise, choosing to ignore the shit-eating grin that suddenly spread across Harlow’s face, as well as her mumbled, “Well this morning just got a lot more interesting.”

  “Chloe,” he smiled sweetly as he took the barstool next to Harlow, turning to offer her a nod. “Harlow. How are you lovely ladies this morning?”

  “Well I’m twenty-months pregnant,” Harlow answered, “so every time I sneeze, I pee myself. And its allergy season. How do you think my morning’s going?”

  “For crying out loud,” I rolled my eyes, “not everyone needs all the gory details of pregnancy, Low-Low.” I gave a startled-looking Fletch an apologetic smile.

  “But if cooking another human being in my belly for months doesn’t give me the right to say whatever the hell I want, then what will?” she asking indignantly. “Surely pregnancy gives you certain perks. Why else would women do it?”

  “Um… for the joys of bringing a baby of their own into the world?” Fletcher asked on a laugh.

  Harlow waved him off. “Oh, what the hell do you know?”

  I turned my attention to Fletch. “Ignore her. Pregnancy makes her cranky. What can I get you?”

  “Well, since I hear you’ve got the best coffee in Pembrooke, why don’t we start there?”

  “On it,” I smiled my first genuine smile of the day. “Black?”

  “That’d be perfect. To go, if you don’t mind.”

  I set about making his coffee, pouring it into a travel cup and snapping a lid on before sliding it his way. “First cup’s on the house. Hopefully you’ll like it enough to come back. Then I’ll start charging you.”