“Listen, Em – all I can tell you is not to waste your time worrying about something you have no control over. There’s a pretty good chance that Adam won’t be Kai’s father at all. I’ve seen it with my own eyes; he’s so much like Evan.”
Emmy turns and looks at me like I have three heads. “Other than the dimples, Jette, I don’t see it.”
“You’ll see if you get to spend time with him. It’ll be kind of obvious,” I tell her.
“Oh, we have been spending time together. Yesterday morning, as a matter of fact, we all went out to breakfast together. Adam, Evan, and I met Derek, Shea, and Kai at IHOP. Apparently Kai is crazy for pancakes. Then Shea let us take him to Chuck E. Cheese for an hour. You should have seen those two, doting on that little boy and waiting on him hand and foot. It was adorable.”
I can feel the tears beginning to well up in my eyes. I’m not going to hide from Emmy or anyone else anymore. If I’m upset or in pain, I’m going to be brave enough to show it. “That’s great,” I manage to say in a squeaky high-pitched voice. I grab a tissue and wipe away the tears.
Emmy rushes over to me. “Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to upset you. It must be hard for you to hear about it like this. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m so sorry.”
I take a deep breath and steady myself. “No, Emmy. I’m glad you told me. Did it go well?”
She nods, “It did, sort of. It took Kai a while to warm up to Adam and Evan. He was pretty shy and quiet most of the time. Evan tried really hard to get him to laugh and play, but Kai just wanted to watch the other kids for a while before he was brave enough to jump into the ball pit with them.”
She laughs a little before she goes on. “It was almost like watching Evan talk to Adam, who’s very cautious and wary of new people. Evan’s always ready to jump in with both feet, but Adam likes to stand back and assess the situation first, and Kai is the same way.”
My mind rapidly races back to my first encounter with Adam almost a year ago. I can picture it like it was yesterday. He approached me during one of my beach runs and interrogated me. He didn’t know me, and he certainly didn’t trust me. It took Adam a while before he accepted my presence in Evan’s life. I can definitely see a parallel there.
“Are you going to spend more time with Kai?” I ask.
“Definitely. But Shea won’t let them take him very far unless they learn how to use an EpiPen first. Apparently Kai has a bad allergy to bees. Adam tried to explain to her that bees either hibernate or die during the winter and she has nothing to worry about, but she wouldn’t listen.”
“I never thought about it, but Adam’s right. How does he know so much about bees? That’s a pretty random thing to know about.”
“He’s super allergic to bees too,” she tells me.
“Oh.” Now I understand what she meant when she said that she sees a strong resemblance between Adam and Kai.
Our conversation is cut short when my cell phone rings. I check the screen and it’s a number I don’t immediately recognize. Cautiously, I answer the phone, “Hello?”
“This is Detective Harper calling. Is this Juliette Fletcher?” My heart stops for a moment and I cannot immediately get the words out.
“Yes, this is Juliette. How can I help you, Detective?” I look at Emmy and she quietly slips out of my office, giving me privacy. I wish she’d stayed.
“We have a few questions for you about David Jorgenson. Do you think you could stop down at the police station sometime today? It shouldn’t take very long.” His voice is kind, but I won’t be fooled into thinking he’s my friend. He has a job to do, and it has nothing to do with being my friend or protecting my rights.
“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to make that sort of request through my attorney. I could get you his number if you like.” Both Evan and Gavin were very clear about me not speaking to the police without Gavin being present.
“No, that won’t be necessary. We have it on file. But while I have you on the phone, just out of curiosity, would you be willing to take a lie detector test? It would certainly help us understand exactly what happened in Indiana that night.”
“I don’t think so,” I told him. “My attorney has advised me not to speak to you or anyone else without him.”
“I have to say I’m surprised to hear you say that, Miss Fletcher. If you have nothing to hide, you should be more than willing to help in the investigation. Refusing to cooperate makes you look like you’re hiding something. Like maybe you had something to do with it after all.”
“Again, I’m going to have to direct you to speak with Mr. Wolff. If he thinks it’s a good idea, then we can talk. Until then, I have nothing to say on the matter. Have a good day.” I hang up the phone and try to gather my wits.
I know the first thing I have to do is to contact Gavin and let him know what’s happening. His secretary puts me straight through to him. I’m glad she did, because he’s very calming and reassuring. “Don’t let him upset you, Juliette. He’s just trying to get under your skin.” If that’s true, then he’s doing a great job. “They’re hitting a brick wall. Their search didn’t turn up any evidence and they have no clues to go on other than your videos. If you were in actual trouble, they wouldn’t be wasting their time calling you on the phone and trying to guilt you into making voluntary statements that they can twist and distort to suit their needs. Say nothing. Do nothing. And try not to worry.”
“Do you think they’ll call you to arrange something?” I ask, terrified by the possibility.
“No. If they were serious about wanting to question you properly, they would have called me first. Go home, pour yourself a glass of wine, and relax,” he tells me. “When there’s something to worry about, I’ll let you know.”
We hang up and I try to do what he tells me. I ask Emmy to pour me a glass of Merlot just to calm my frayed nerves. By the time I’ve emptied the glass, I think it’s starting to work. But only a little.
I need something to occupy my mind, and I think I have just the thing – today’s good deed. Yesterday’s gesture was big, and I know I can’t match it, so there’s no use in even trying. Today’s token will be small but meaningful. I know that yesterday I was completely against the idea of sending him flowers, but today I think it would be appropriate, although I don’t want to send him a bouquet. I’m going to leave one flower whose meaning he can decipher just as I did so many times.
The internet is a wealth of knowledge, so I decide to find asymbol that’s just right for the occasion. It can’t signify love or forgiveness; that would be against Dr. Falkowski’s rules about doing something for my own gain. It’s got to be something masculine that signifies Evan’s strengths and upcoming battles – with the court and on the gridiron.
In the search box, I enter the terms, flower, good luck, and man. Google returns over six million results. I scan the descriptions and one in particular catches my eye. It has all my key words in bold, along with two additional words, sword, and gladiator. I click on it and read further. The more I read about the gladiolus, the more certain I am that I’ve found the right flower. Symbolically, it means integrity, strong ethics and values, and high moral fiber. It represents the qualities of a gladiator. It’s perfect.
After work, I pick up my token and head straight to Evan’s, all the while crossing my fingers that he’s not home yet. For once, luck is on my side, and the house is pitch-dark, with no signs of life. I don’t think I’ll have long, so I have to act quickly.
The first thing on my agenda is to spend some time with Maddy. It’s been nearly a week since I’ve seen her, and she slobbers all over me the minute I walk through the door. I place my things down and take her outside for a little game of catch and to let her do her business.
Once she’s properly exercised, I head back inside to feed her and set out my surprise. Earlier I wrote a little card to go with it, and I place them both on the kitchen table where I’m sure Evan will find them. The card reads:
&nb
sp; In ancient Roman times, a gladiator who won the fight would be rewarded with a gladiolus flower. May you be victorious on the field of battle and off.
~Juliette
Before leaving, I take a final sweeping look around the house that was once my home, and I wonder when I’ll get to see it again.
Later, as I’m cleaning up from my late-night dinner, I get another text that brings a smile to my face.
Evan: thank u for the sword
He must have done his research and found out the word gladius is Latin for sword. It means a lot to me to know he cared enough to take the time. He could have tossed the flower in the trash or just ignored it without bothering. He cares. There’s hope. I text him back, keeping it simple, just like last time.
Jette: XO
Friday morning arrives, and it’s time for me to report back to Dr. Falkowski. I think he’ll be very pleased with my homework. As he escorts me into his office, he notices how changed I seem. “Juliette, I must say, you look so much better than the last time I saw you. Your posture is different, there’s a healthy color to your face, and you’re wearing a smile. A lot can happen in just three days. Why don’t you have a seat and tell me about it.”
He’s right, of course. I can feel it too. It’s amazing how much your mood can affect your entire body chemistry and appearance.
Dr. Falkowski is very pleased with my homework. He loves the idea of the basketball game with Cole, and is impressed with the solitary flower’s symbolism and message. Yesterday I stopped by to visit Maddy again and I left Evan a plate of his favorite chocolate chunk cookies.
“So let me ask you this,” Dr. Falkowski begins, “do you plan on stopping by his home regularly to leave him surprises?”
“I don’t know,” I answer him honestly. “It’s really hard to find something to do for someone without getting anything in return.”
“Tell me what you mean,” he challenges.
“Well, I think Evan deserves a proper apology, but that would break your rules.” I stop for a moment and consider what I’m saying. “Wouldn’t it?”
“It all depends upon your intent Juliette. If you’re offering an apology in order to salvage the relationship and to end your own suffering, then yes, it would break my rules. But if you feel that Evan truly deserves an apology and you’re ready to acknowledge responsibility and express remorse, then no, it would not.”
“I know I owe him a proper apology. I’m just not sure how to deliver it,” I admit.
“The manner in which you apologize can be as important as the apology itself. A face-to-face apology is usually the best, because it affords the opportunity for the wronged person to see your face and be better able to determine your sincerity. But it takes courage to look the person you wronged directly in the eyes, admit your offense, and apologize. And it takes courage to have the person you wronged look in your eyes and see your vulnerability and remorse. If you have this courage, you will benefit tremendously. Whether Evan is able to forgive you or not, you'll feel good about yourself for being able to face up to your mistakes.”
“You’re right,” I admit. “But I’m scared. Suppose he won’t see me? Or worse, suppose he tells me he never wants to see me again?”
“Are those the only two possibilities, Juliette?”
“No,” I grudgingly acknowledge.
“Is it so hard for you to imagine that something good and constructive might happen?” he asks.
“I’m afraid to hope, Dr. Falkowski. I don’t think I could handle any more pain. I’ve been shattered into so many small fragments that one more tear might be the end of me.”
He looks at me thoughtfully and asks a simple but profound question. “Would you prefer to live your life in pursuit of your dreams, or live a life without hope? The choice is yours, but choose carefully.”
As I’m driving to work, I think about Dr. Falkowski’s words. He’s right, of course. This is one of those crossroads moments where I find myself afraid, confused, and without a roadmap. The choice I make here will define the rest of my life, and I refuse to let myself be defined by fear. So I choose the road I know ends with a cliff. I’ll have to jump, but I’m ready. I’ll either crash into the rocks or land softly. But it’s a chance I have to take.
Before I lose my nerve, I head straight for my office and send Evan a text. He’s at the stadium already, either in team meetings or on the field, so there’s no telling when I’ll hear back from him.
Jette: Can you stop at Rush after practice today? I need to talk to you. In person.
I feel like I can control the environment a little better here at Rush. Discussing our situation in public isn’t a good idea, but here I can at least make sure we have some privacy. Technically, since we are both owners, it’s neutral territory. If Evan doesn’t like what he’s hearing, he can easily leave without causing any raised eyebrows. But if he were to walk out on me in a diner, leaving me sitting there alone, heads would turn and whispers would begin. Better to do it here.
The day goes by painfully slowly. I keep my phone close by at all times. It seems that every customer who walks in the door has a phone with the same chirping ringtone, and I’m tortured by every incoming call and text intended for others.
Derek seems distracted too. He has his phone in hand, and with every lull in the crowd, he’s furiously typing away. He and Shea certainly have a lot to talk about, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been on the phone with her all day long.
Auggie and Lucas stop in for an early dinner before heading into the city to take in a play. They have tickets to see If/Then with Idina Menzel, and I’m green with envy. “So, Jette, what do you suggest?” Lucas asks. “We have to pick up the five thirty-six train to Penn Station and we don’t have a lot of time.”
Just as I’m about to answer, I notice Reese making a beeline straight for Auggie. “Here’s the chef now. Why don’t you ask her what she recommends?”
Quick as a flash, he jumps up out of his seat and wraps his arms around my friend. “Hey there, Red. You’re looking especially scrumptious tonight. Do you have a hot date I don’t know about? You know you’re supposed to clear all your personal engagements through me!”
“Sorry to disappoint you all, but there’s no hook-up for me on the horizon,” she explains as we all take a seat around the table.
“Any special plans after work?” Lucas asks. “You could always meet us for drinks after the show.” He turns and looks at me. “You too, Jette. You look like you could use a night out on the town. What do you girls say?”
“I’m in,” Reese quickly responds, “but it’s up to Jette. I’m not driving into the city alone.”
“I can’t. I ... um ... might have plans,” I tell them, wishing I hadn’t been put on the spot like this.
All heads turn, and there are immediately three sets of eyes as big as saucers staring at me in shock. “Do tell,” Auggie demands.
I look at the three hopeful faces staring back at me and decide it’s best if I continue my endeavor to be open and honest. “I sort of asked Evan to meet me here tonight after practice, but I haven’t heard back from him yet. I’d like to keep my options open in case he shows up.”
Their faces instantly go sullen. They’re not particularly hopeful for me. “Well, if you change your mind, I hope you join us. There’s trains leaving for the city every hour, you know.”
I give Auggie a kiss on the cheek. “Yes, Auggie, I know the train schedule, and if I decide to go out, you’ll be the first to know.”
Reese waves over the waitress and orders meals for Auggie and Lucas, asking her to put a rush on it. Luckily for me, Auggie and Lucas set their targets on Reese and her solitary lifestyle. “Now, Red, I have to warn you,” Auggie reminds her, “that you only have a few weeks left before my timer goes off. Then I can’t be held responsible for what happens next.”
“Oh, Auggie, are you back on that kick again? I told you, I’m not interested!” she insists.
“Interested in
what?” I ask her. “Auggie, what’s going to happen next? I’m confused.”
Lucas jumps in to clarify. “Oh, it’s Auggie’s way of getting Reese back into the dating pool. He told her she has until the Super Bowl to go out on at least one date, or he’s going to put her profile up on OKCupid, PlentyofFish, and Tinder.”
I look at Auggie. “You wouldn’t dare!”
“The hell I wouldn’t. Look at that girl, wasting her time sitting home alone at night playing Boggle. If she doesn’t get out there soon, we all know what’s going to happen next.”
All three of us look at Reese and answer in unison, “Cats!”
“Nobody wants that for you, Red. You deserve better; so much better,” Auggie teases.
“Well, that will never be me,” Reese announces. “Not so long as Jette keeps parading hot single football players in front of me, anyway!”
Our laughter is interrupted when my phone lights up with a text message. All eyes immediately focus on the screen. It’s the message I’ve been waiting for. I take a deep breath and swipe right to read what it says.
Evan: on my way
I immediately jump up and excuse myself from the table. Marcus walks in just in time to start the night shift, and I can now focus on setting the stage for my apology. I clear off the booth at the back of the bar and ask the hostess to keep the adjoining tables empty. Things have been pretty slow all winter, so that shouldn’t be a problem.
It may not be exactly playing by the rules, but I decide to use anything I can to gain an advantage. I scour the tables, eager to find the amaryllis flowers with the biggest, boldest, and brightest blooms to set on our table. They were all purchased as a gift from Evan to me in happier times, and they might just earn me a few sympathy points now.
I make a fresh pitcher of orange- and basil-infused water, grab a few glasses, and leave it on the table, waiting. I don’t want to seem over-anxious, so I hide out in my office, telling the hostess to seat Evan and come get me as soon as he arrives.
Running Away With You (Running #3) Page 34