There was a sense that to address either of them, even in the friendliest of manners, might result in getting one’s head bitten off.
They sat at the same table during breakfast, but said nary a word to each other.
Several in the crowd hoped that this wouldn’t damage their relationship. They’d always been a considerate and loving couple. In fact, no one had ever really seen them argue before.
The mood was grim, and would have been even without the troubles that Bryan and Sarah were obviously having.
Word had gotten around that following breakfast, there would be a meeting of grave importance. The group would be asked to debate, and then to decide whether to banish one of their own.
For more than seven years they’d been together. They’d endured some very hard times and ridden out some very tough storms. But never before had they been asked to consider such an option.
And no one took it lightly.
John was one of the senior members of the group, and one of its father figures. He was always the first to lend a hand and the first to say a kind word. In short, he was loved by everyone.
But this… this thing that he had done…
Some things just cannot be forgiven.
When John came into the room, flanked by Sami and Brad, the room fell completely silent.
They sat in a corner table, far from the group, as though banishing themselves from everyone else’s company. That was fitting, for all three of them felt like outcasts.
Within a minute of their arrival, Bryan quietly got up and moved over to John’s table. He asked to sit in the fourth chair, and John nodded.
As Bryan sat down, a collective gasp went through the room. Bryan had chosen his side, and it wasn’t with his wife. A couple of the women began to weep.
For Sarah’s part, she retained her composure. Bryan’s action might cause a permanent rift in their relationship. It might mean she’d make his life a living hell for a very long time.
It might even mean her heart was breaking. But she’d never show it. She was resolved to stay strong, and finished her meal in silence.
Even when Hannah got up and took Bryan’s seat, and placed her right hand atop Sarah’s, she didn’t look up.
She couldn’t. She was on the verge of losing it, and all it might take would be the look of sadness on her best friend’s face.
John, Sami and Brad chose to skip breakfast. They just wanted to get this over with. Breakfast didn’t mean much after you wore out your welcome. In their minds, there was only one question that needed to be answered: did they still have a home here?
After most of the trays had been returned to the dishwasher’s table, Mark stood up and walked to the front of the group. Seven years before, when the group was getting settled in their new home and selected their form of government, they’d selected Mark as their speaker. It was an honorary position, and had no real power behind it. It just meant it was his job to start the meetings and to keep them flowing in an orderly fashion.
“Good morning all. I’m looking around and I notice that most of you have finished eating. I don’t want to rush anyone. If you’re still eating, please continue. I want to go ahead and get this over with.”
John stood up in the back of the room. In a flashback to his days as a U.S. Marine, he stood at rapt parade rest, his feet shoulder length apart and his hands cupped behind his back. He said not a word.
Mark continued.
“You all know why we’re here. I won’t pretend it’s not a sorry reason to be here. I know that every single one of us wants to be somewhere else. But several of you have requested a meeting to discuss what happened yesterday, and our bylaws require us to comply.”
He turned in John’s direction and said, “John, you’re the first to stand. Does that mean you’d like to speak first?”
He merely nodded.
“Very well, then. The floor is yours.”
John took a deep breath and got started.
“You all know me well. You know I’m a man of few words, so I’ll make this brief.
“You also know I’m not a man who begs for anything. I will not beg you to let me stay here, and I will not beg you to forgive me, for two different reasons.
“I won’t beg you to let me stay because I am too proud to. Pride is a wonderful thing. But it can also be a terrible hindrance. In this case I’m not sure which one applies.
“This is my home. I’m happy here. I love each and every one of you, and I’d like to stay. But if that’s not to be, then I will leave quietly and find my own way. I will survive out there, and quite possibly thrive out there. I’ll need no pity from anyone, and will accept no help.
“As for your forgiveness, I refuse to ask any of you for that, for a simple reason…
“Because I was right in what I did. And when one does something he knows to be right, there is nothing to forgive. No matter how distasteful it may be.”
“I’ve seen the worst things that one man can do to another. I once saw the aftermath when Iraqi rebels hung a woman by her feet and gutted her like a fish. While she was still alive. Just because they suspected her of speaking with American soldiers. When I worked homicide I saw people who’d been decapitated. Burned to death. Gang raped unmercifully, and then killed in ways I won’t even discuss here.
“I, more than any of you, know first hand what bad men are capable of.
“And here’s the thing with bad men…
“When they are cowed, like when they’re in shackles in jail or in a suit in a courtroom, they can appear to be almost civilized. Almost human. They can even appear to be sympathetic, or harmless.
“But you can’t let that fool you. You can never let your guard down. You must always be wary. Because when those same men are back in their element, with the shackles and suits off, they will always go back to being bad men. It’s at their very core. They simply cannot help themselves.
“In my heart I know I did the right thing. In my heart I know I saw things in those men that most of you could not see. Does that mean I broke one of God’s commandments? Certainly. Does that mean I broke the laws of our state? Certainly.
“Would I do it again? Certainly.
“Because my first allegiance is to all of you. Before the state of Texas. And as much as I hate to say it, before the commandments of God. I am willing to let God judge me for that, and He will someday. Of that I am certain. And if he finds me wrong for what I did, then I will accept my fate. I will not beg God for forgiveness, any more than I will beg you.
“I want you to know that I did what I did because my conscience told me to. Now you all have a very important decision to make. Do what I did. Go with your conscience. I love each of you. You’ve become my family. I won’t hold it against any of you if you think me unfit to be in your company.
“In fact, so that my presence doesn’t sway your judgment or pressure you in any way, I am going to excuse myself from the rest of the proceedings. I assume that after your decision is made, someone will inform me of my fate.”
With that, John turned and walked out of the room.
Sami and Brad looked at each other, unsure what to do. They hadn’t expected him to leave. They’d expected him to stay and answer the others’ questions, to restate his position if he had to.
For a few precious seconds, they struggled with a decision, to stay or to follow him out. If they left, they gave up the opportunity to advocate on his behalf. And to vote. If the vote was close, they might be the deciding factor.
But Sami knew her father well. If the vote was that close… if that many people no longer wanted him around, then he’d rather leave anyway.
In the end, Sami and Brad got up from the table and walked out behind John.
Bryan felt foolish and abandoned, but he kept his seat. By God, there would be at least one person in the room who would be fighting for John’s side.
Chapter 30
Mark cleared his throat and said, “Very well, then. We’ll
give everyone a chance to say what’s on their mind, as long as it takes to get this done. Then, when everyone has had their say, we’ll put it to a vote. Who’d like to go first?”
Karen stood up, and started speaking before even being recognized.
“You all know me. You know I almost never get involved in the politics of running this place. I usually just sit back like a quiet little mouse and teach the children and water my plants and seldom get involved. But I will say this… John is a good man. A decent man. And probably the most honest man I’ve ever met. If he says those men were a threat to us, then I believe him without reservation. I don’t like the way he dealt with it. But if he felt that was the only option open for him, then I support his decision.”
She sat back down.
Sarah raised her hand, and Mark nodded in her direction.
“Karen, I love you like my own mother. You are a very dear friend and I would do anything for you. But you’re missing the point. John was right when he admitted that what he did was a crime. And beyond that, it was a sin against God. He broke one of the commandments. He didn’t cheat at poker. He didn’t eat more than his share of the pie. He killed two men who were not only unarmed, they were tied to chairs. And he shot them point blank. How can we expect our children, and their children, to live honest and decent lives, if we tolerate such behavior? However well intentioned John’s actions were, they were just wrong. Legally, morally, and in the eyes of God.”
She sat back down.
Joe stood up and asked to speak next.
“I like John as much as anyone. He’s done a great job in keeping us safe. But Sarah is right. If we allow this thing to go unanswered, if we allow people to be murdered when they don’t have the means to resist, then aren’t we just as bad as the men who attacked us? If we pick and choose which laws and commandments we want to obey, and break the others, then what kind of people have we become?”
“Let me tell you what kind of people we’ve become,” said Bryan, standing and walking to the front of the room.
“We’ve become the kind of people who are facing a new reality in a newly dangerous world. We are doing what we have to do to survive, and to protect those closest to us.
“We are the type of people who have come to accept that the legal system no longer exists. That there are no longer police departments who can swoop in with their lights flashing and their sirens blaring to rescue us from evil. We have to do that ourselves now. There is no more 911.
“And in the absence of laws and lawmen, we have to make decisions that we think are the best way to go to protect our loved ones and property. That’s all John did. Whether you agree with him or not, that’s all he did. He made a decision based on his own experience and what he believed the threat to be.
“He didn’t turn into a mass murderer who is going to shoot us all in our sleep. He didn’t take his morals and his religious beliefs and cast them aside as though they no longer mattered. He is still a man of God. And the fact that he risked an eternity in hell to protect our lives has got to account for something.
“I love my wife dearly. Even though we don’t always agree with things. But I find fault in something she said. She said that John committed a sin against God by shooting two men who couldn’t defend themselves.
“But if that is the standard we’re going by now, then I’m just as guilty. I shot one of the men at the gate, then the man on the roof. Neither man was an immediate threat to me. Sure, they would have been in the future, but at the time I killed them one was standing at the gate and the other was sitting down smoking a cigarette.
“So by your standards I committed two murders just like John did. Are you going to banish me too? Because that’s what needs to happen if you’re going to be consistent. If you banish John for killing others to protect you, then you have to afford me the same punishment.
“But by the same token, if you give me a pass for killing men who were no immediate threat, but would have been in the future, then you have to give John that same pass.”
Bryan walked back over to Sarah’s table and sat down beside her. He held out his hand and she took it. Then she scooted her chair over to his and placed her head on his shoulder.
Mark added his own two cents to piggyback on what Bryan had said.
“There is some merit to Bryan’s words. I threw the switches that collapsed the mine that killed seven men. And I shot and killed a man during the first assault. A lot of us have killed since this ordeal began. Many of us will likely kill again. And more of you who haven’t yet taken a life may be called upon to do so. Why don’t we save the judgment for God, and not presume that we have a right to judge a man for trying to save us from what he perceived to be a real danger?”
The meeting dragged on for two hours. Everyone who wanted to had their say. Some stood two or three times.
And finally, everyone was talked out.
Mark took his turn again.
“Okay, I guess it’s time to vote. Because of the sensitivity of the issue, we have the option of voting by secret ballot. That way no one will know for certain how anyone else voted, and it should cut down on the animosity afterwards. That’s an option. Or, we can make it an open vote, so everyone knows where everyone else stands. I’d like to take a vote on that first. By a show of hands, everyone who would like to vote by secret ballot, please raise your hands. Karen, we all trust you. Would you take the count, please?”
Karen looked around the room and counted hands.
“We have twenty one votes for a secret ballot.”
“Very well. The motion carries. Hannah will pass out slips of paper and pencils to everyone. Debbie, I understand that Helen asked you to vote by proxy on her behalf, since she’s got all the kids at the schoolhouse. And also Jason at the security desk. Is that correct?”
Debbie nodded her head.
“Hannah, please give Debbie three slips of paper.”
He waited until Hannah passed the paper and pencils to everyone in the room and looked around to make sure she didn’t miss anyone.
“Very well. Let’s make this simple. Please write the word “STAY” if you want John to remain in our group. Write the word “GO” if you want to banish him. Then fold your paper in half, and Hannah will come back around to collect them.
In the end, even after all the deliberation, the vote was unanimous. John was still part of the family, and was still wanted in the group. There were those among them who would never forgive him for what he did.
But no one wanted to see him go.
Chapter 31
Mark went to share the news with John, Sami and Brad. He found them sitting under the largest apple tree in the orchard.
He approached them with some apprehension. He knew that as the spokesman for the group, he would be the recipient should John lash out in rage over the process.
But John sat stoically, as was his habit. He was a man who didn’t get upset easily, regardless of the circumstances.
Sami, on the other hand, was a fireball. If the vote had gone the other way, Mark fully expected that John and Brad would have had to drag her off of him.
“It was unanimous,” he said. “Everyone wants you to stay.”
John exhaled, and the others noticed for the first time that he’d been holding his breath. He was relieved. Sure, he was capable of surviving on his own in the world outside the compound. And as he told the others, he might even have thrived.
But this was his home now, and these people had become his family.
And he didn’t want to leave.
Mark reached behind him and removed a gun and holster from the back of his belt.
“And I’d appreciate it if you’d consider resuming your role as security chief. No one else wants the stinking job, and no one else would be anywhere near as good as you.
“You’ve kept us all alive to this point. I suspect you’ll keep us all alive long into the future.”
John took the weapon from Mark’s hand and studi
ed it. Without looking up, he asked, “Does everyone else share your view?”
“I don’t know, John. We didn’t discuss it. I suspect most do. I also suspect there are a few who don’t. But as you said, you can’t always make important decisions based on public opinion. Those who don’t will get over it, I reckon. This is just a personal request from me, to one of my very best friends.”
John stood and clipped the holster to his belt.
“I expect there’s a lot of healing to be done. I imagine time will take care of that.”
He looked of in the direction of the big house, and saw Sarah approaching them at a fast clip. His gaze got the attention of the others, and they watched her as she crossed the field to them.
No one knew her intent. John braced himself for what she might say. Brad and Sami stood to protect him if necessary.
But as she got closer, they could see the tears streaming from her eyes.
Instead of harsh words, she reached out her arms and hugged John.
“Oh, John, I’m so sorry. I was just so caught up being my judgmental self that I didn’t even consider your point of view. I haven’t been a friend to you, and that was stupid of me. I’ve been a total bitch.”
She held John and noticed Brad and Sami watching her, intently.
“You two can argue with me about the bitch part if you want.”
Sami pulled out a respectable impersonation of former President George H.W. Bush and said, “No… not gonna do it…”
Sarah smiled. She drew back from John, and he smiled too.
He said, “Hey, you don’t have to back away so soon, you know. It’s not often an old codger like me gets to hug on a pretty young woman like you.”
Sami looked shocked and said, “Dad!”
Sarah hugged him once again quickly and backed away again.
“We’ll have to wait a little bit longer to start our crazy love affair, John. My husband and I still aren’t on the best of terms. We’re walking on thin ice right now.”
“Well, I suspect there’s going to be a lot of that going on over the next weeks and months.”
The Siege Page 10