[My Paper Heart 01.0] My Paper Heart

by Magan Vernon

  I tilted my head up. "Well I guess we will just have to make him notice Brittany then!" They looked puzzled as I headed over to the stereo with the girls closely following behind me, whispering back and forth.

  I crouched down and rummaged through the pile of CDs next to the stereo system. Tool? Really? Nine Inch Nails? It was no wonder everyone was just standing around. Finally I found something that would work with my plan, a disc of Def Leppard's greatest hits. I opened the CD case and put the disc into the stereo.

  Everyone around me stopped what they were doing and grumbled, looking at me. I heard snippets of conversation in hushed tones, what the hell is she doing? Then, "Pour Some Sugar on Me" started playing and I turned toward Brittany.

  "Come on!" I reached my arms out to her, slowly swaying my hips as I stood up.

  "Come on what?" She firmly crossed her arms across her chest.

  I tugged on her arms and kept swaying, sliding my body up and down. She wouldn't budge, her arms were glued around her shirt and kept her eyes locked on the ground.

  "If you want Blaine to notice you, dance with me."

  "I don't dance." She looked around and her cheeks flushed.

  "You don't need to know how to dance. It's all basically just dry humping anyways!" I slid my body down to a crouching position in front of her and then slowly popped back up, sticking my butt out.

  "I choreographed Kappa Beta's spring Dance Off, Pants Off. I can show you some moves." I tried to pull on her arms again, swaying my body around her, and tried to lift her arms over her head. I leaned my back against her and slid down, as if she were a pole, and then slowly popped back up swinging my hair. She looked away from me and darted toward the other end of the room with Sarah following close behind.

  "Britt! Wait!" I yelled and turned on my heels to go toward her, but a tight grip pulled me back.

  "What the hell do you think you're doing?" A deep country accent growled behind me. I turned toward the vice grip owner and met those blue eyes again.

  "What the hell do you think YOU are doing?" I tried to pull my arm away, but this guy had a stronger grip than I thought.

  "Come on outside and talk to me," he whispered motioning his head toward the door.

  "I will do no such thing!" I tried to pull my arm away, but he had a grip that could only come from hours of manual labor and it was no use trying to break it. He pulled me toward the door with him, and we had caused quite the scene. We exited to the front porch where people stood gawking at us.

  "Who do you think you are, my father?" I hissed turning toward him, my hair flying about.

  "No, but I’m not going to let some guy take advantage of you in there." He let go of my arm and reached in his pocket, pulling out a pack of cloves. He leaned against the porch railing like he was just making himself at home.

  I crossed my arms and smirked. "I think I can handle myself. I took a self-defense class during Greek Week."

  He placed a clove between his lips, letting out a muffled laugh while he lit it. "Yeah, at the college you failed out of."

  "Hey now, you probably don't even go to college, so you have no room to judge!" I pouted.

  He exhaled the smoke through his nose and I could hear the crackle of the clove as he removed it from his lips. "Well, no, I didn't go to college. But neither did your Aunt Dee and she's a good lady. I'm not going to let her hear about her niece getting taken advantage of at one of Sarah's parties. She's too good for that."

  He took another drag of his clove and his gaze met mine again. I wanted to say something, but his gorgeous blue eyes had me stammering for words. I tried to focus on something else, so that I could regain my words.

  I looked down to his shirt, which was nothing special, a plain black shirt. But as I watched, his arm muscles would flinch when he would move his hands from his clove, to the porch, and in and out of the pockets of his faded cargo shorts. I realized how much I was actually focusing on the curves of his body and tried everything I could not to wonder what it was like to be that clove between his lips.

  I wasn't too sure what to say to him and I figured that he must have thought I was staring, which in all honesty I was. All I could come up with was that we hadn't officially met, so I changed the subject real quick.

  "I'm Libby by the way, but I guess you already knew that." I shifted from one leg to the other.

  "Yeah." He exhaled. "When you live in a small town you kind of hear all the news, and my mom is a hairdresser, so I do hear all of the gossip."

  "If your mom was a better hairdresser she wouldn't let you bleach your hair."

  His hair was so spikey and tousled that it almost looked curly or windblown. I wondered what it would be like to run my fingers through it. If it would feel like straw from baking in the summer sun all day or if it would just slide like silk through my fingers.

  "And that really didn't give me any information about you. If you're going to man handle me, I should at least know your name. And if you plan on doing it again you should really get me a drink first."

  He laughed, exhaling a mouthful of smoke. His full lips almost made an O shape as he laughed, bringing out the dimples that curved around his lip line. "Alright, you got me there. I'm Blaine. Blaine who's lived here all his life. Blaine the grunt for the parish highway department."

  "Well I didn't want your whole life story!" I squealed. I was flirting. I couldn't help it, and he really was cute in an old faded blue jeans sort of way.

  I didn't think that I would ever date a guy from Elsbury. He probably spent all day working and then going home to watch car racing. He probably drove a big red truck and blared Charlie Daniels. A guy like Blaine just didn't fit the description of guys that I was normally attracted to, but with every lingering gaze I found myself wanting to know more about this southern boy.

  "Yeah, well that ain't the half of it." He stopped and finished his clove. I thought he was going to say something more, but then he looked all around us. "Hey, where did your cousin go?"

  "Hmm..? Oh, Brittany? I'm sure she is fine." I waved my hand in front of me before letting it fall flat.

  "You really are dense aren't you?" He flicked his clove off of the porch, narrowing his eyes at me before he walked back inside with long, quick strides.

  I stormed after him, pushing past plaid shirted guys and tube top clad girls. "What the hell? You're the one that dragged me outside remember?" I turned Blaine toward me as we got into the living room, trying to ignore how toned his biceps were. I had to resist the urge to trace my fingers down them.

  "You leave a fifteen-year-old girl alone at a party and expect everything is just going to be alright?" He raised his voice. I didn't like being told what I should be doing or being questioned by a guy I barely knew. Especially a guy that had dragged me outside when I was trying to chase after Britt in the first place.

  "I'm sure she's fine, I mean she's the one who invited me to this party!" I threw an arm out to the side. "And if it's so bad, then why are you here?" I crossed my arms and smirked, trying to make my point.

  "Because I am a nineteen-year-old man, not a fifteen-year-old girl whose cousin just used her like a stripper pole!" He screamed that last part, and headed off toward one of the bedrooms. Everyone was staring at us. I put my head down and tried not to let everyone see how red I’m sure my face was as I hurried to catch up with Blaine.

  I caught up to him standing in an open doorway, and staring as he leaned in on the door frame. A small crowd of people were positioned in the room lit by only black lights and cluttered with posters of psychedelic pink mushrooms and other brightly colored plants. As the cloud of smoke lifted I saw my little cousin, curled up on the corner of an old wooden futon with a plastic cup in one hand and her mouth wrapped around a giant green bong that was being lit by some guy with a porn star mustache. I gasped, covering my own mouth in horror.

  "Real responsible aren't we?" Blaine whispered as he headed back out toward the party.

  "Hey cuz!" Brittany giggl
ed, letting out a huge cloud of smoke. "Want a hit?" She held out the large green bong toward me. I had never smoked pot and never planned to, but I wasn't a stranger to it. It wasn't like a lot of Beau's fraternity brothers didn't spend their time hitting the bong.

  I threw my arms down and stomped over to Brittany. "No I do not want a hit! We are leaving!" I pulled her up off the couch, it was like pulling dead weight, but I managed to get her up.

  "Come on girl! The party is just getting started, and I got a spot for you right here." I looked down to see a Hispanic boy in a cowboy hat wiping his mouth, suggesting that I should sit on it.

  "Ew..." I wrinkled my nose in disgust and pulled Brittany out of the room.

  "Oh come on cuz, we were just having some fun!" Brittany laughed as she chugged the contents of the cup down and then threw the empty cup on the ground. She then turned to me with a serious glint in her bloodshot eyes.

  "You were probably having fun with Blaine anyways!" She pointed at me, staggering back and forth.

  "Trust me Britt. There is NOTHING going on with me and Blaine. I don't think there is going to be any luck with guys for me in this entire parish." I gritted as I pulled her toward the door.

  "Where do you think y'all are going?" Blaine forced himself in front of us in the door way. He appeared out of nowhere. I stopped cold and narrowed my eyes.

  "I am taking my baby cousin home, DAD," I spat.

  Brittany giggled. She was high as a kite and smelled like oregano and cheap vodka. I tried to go around Blaine, but he just darted in front of me again.

  "Do you even know how to get home?" Blaine gave a smug smirk like he actually had some satisfaction in knowing that I needed his help.

  "Well, I’m sure I can find my way, Brittany can help!" By this time Brittany was completely engrossed at staring at a clock on the wall. It became clear that my little GPS had screwed me over.

  "C'mon, I'll take you two in my truck," Blaine said, putting his hand out toward me and widening his eyes. I smacked his hand away.

  "You will do no such thing! I have Aunt Dee's car here, and I can't just leave it!"

  He sighed, thrusting his hand into his pocket. "Fine, then I'll drive my truck and you two can follow me. Once I see that you get in the house I'll leave. Fair enough?"

  I looked over at Brittany. There was no way that she was coherent enough to tell me the directions. The trailer was so far out in the middle of nowhere, that I knew I couldn't get back to Aunt Dee's by myself.

  "Fine, let's go." I pushed passed Blaine and out to the sticky Louisiana summer air.

  ∞

  Following a big, red pickup truck through swamp land in Aunt Dee's old Grand Am with a high and drunk fifteen-year-old in the passenger seat was not my ideal way to spend my first weekend in Elsbury. It was so dark outside and the mist was so thick, that I could barely see anything, except for Blaine's bright yellow union bumper sticker.

  "Would it really kill the highway department to put up some street lights?" I grumbled, turning on my wipers and hoping that would have made a difference in the fog. It didn't.

  Brittany laughed like I just said the funniest thing ever. She had been laughing at everything I said. It was getting really annoying.

  "Whoa, I think Blaine just turned." Brittany slowly pointed a chubby finger out the front window.

  "Shit.

  I missed him turning while I was trying to focus on Brittany. I did a quick U-turn loop down into a gravel path. The tires squealed underneath me. I knew there was a reason that Pontiac went out of business. The car sputtered and squealed as I finished the turn, but I wasn't out of the woods just yet. In my rear view mirror I saw the red and blue lights.

  I had an underage girl that was definitely under the influence and I was driving a car that wasn't mine. All I could think about was that maybe a fast food job would have been better than jail. I pulled the car over and waited for the police officer to come up to the car.

  "You know, the last time I saw my mom she was out here. Maybe her spirit can come back and help us!” Brittany gestured out the door as she pressed her nose to the glass.

  I tried to ignore her as I went through my mind as to what I would say to the cops. The truth? Sorry officer I am driving my high fifteen-year-old cousin home, who only got high because I was busy getting assaulted by her man candy?

  Yeah, I'm sure that would work real well. Before I could even have another thought, Brittany had darted out the door and toward the wooded area beside the road.

  "Shit!" I bolted out of the door as fast as I could, not even looking back to see if the cop was following me.

  "Mama! Mama! I know you're out here! Mama!" Brittany cupped her hands over her mouth like a makeshift megaphone.

  Before I could reach Brittany, Blaine had bolted out in front of me and grabbed her. I was surprised to see him since I thought he had long passed me. He held Brittany by both shoulders and turned her toward him, looking into her face.

  "Brittany, now you know your mama ain't out here. Her spirit is up in heaven, not in the swamp.” Brittany looked at him with tears in her bloodshot eyes.

  "She has to be! This is the spot I last saw her! Remember, before she got arrested!" Brittany screamed almost choking on her tears. Blaine held Brittany close to him as her tears and muffled words soaked through his shirt.

  Blaine nodded toward me as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned my head back to see the cop with his eyes tapered and his lips formed a tight line as he stared right at me.

  I bit my lip. "Um...I wish I could say I can explain." I sighed. "But I can't and I’m sorry." I put my wrists out toward the cop. "Go on, take me in."

  The cop started laughing uncontrollably, spit forming at the sides of his mouth and lingering on his mustache. "Do you really think I’m going to take you in?"

  I tilted my head. "Um...what?"

  "Look, I pulled you over because of that illegal U-turn, but it's not like I’m going to take you into jail. Is that what they do in Chicago?" The cop laughed again, especially at the word Chicago like he had made some hilarious joke at my expense.

  "Look." He put his hand on my shoulder. "This isn't the first time something like this has happened with Brittany, and what your aunt don't know won't hurt her."

  I looked over my shoulder at Blaine rubbing Brittany's back as they walked toward us. I tried to hide a longing smile. Beau would have never done anything like that for me, or anyone else for that matter. When his little brother broke his arm, he used his cast to rest his beer on. Blaine was doing just the opposite, putting someone else before himself and it was hard for me to stay mad at him. No matter how hard I was trying to maintain a serious disposition.

  "Blaine told me what was going on, and don't worry. Dee may be good on the town gossip, but what she don’t know won’t hurt her." The cop said as I turned my attention back toward him.

  I smiled weakly. I didn't know if he was just a dirty cop that Blaine paid off, or maybe this was just how people took care of each other in small towns. Either way I was afraid that if things were like this all the time I would have a heart attack before the end of the summer.

  "Let's get you two home," Blaine said. He patted me gently on the back with his free hand, his other arm still protectively around Brittany. I couldn't help but lean in closer to him as we approached the car. I wondered what was really going through his mind and how this guy could appear to be such a hard ass, but yet would go out of his way to help someone.

  The cop left and I got Brittany back in the car. Blaine's eyes seemed to never leave our car. Even through the mist it seemed like I could see nothing but the blue of his eyes and trusted that he would help us find our way home.

  Finally, after what seemed like hours but was only minutes, we pulled into Aunt Dee's carport.

  "You better go inside and wash up before Dee gets a smell of you." Blaine called to Brittany as she got out of the car. She nodded and ran toward the front porch. I couldn't tell if she was embarrassed o
r just coming down from her high.

  "I don't know if I should be pissed at you or thank you." I put my hands on either side of my hips as I leaned back against the car.

  "Well if you would have been watching your cousin, or even the road, maybe none of this would have happened." Suddenly that soft disposition was gone and only the hard exterior remained.

  "Maybe if you weren't trying to grope me at the party we wouldn't have this problem!" I hissed.

  He laughed. "Me? Trying to grope you?"

  "What's so damn funny?" I dug my heel into the ground.

  "Well, no offense darling." He ran his fingers through his hair. "But you're not really my type. A little too high maintenance for me.

  Alright so maybe there wasn't any sort of a soft disposition. This boy was just infuriating. "Then why even care? Why even bother with talking to me at the party?"

  "Look, like I told you, your Aunt Dee is a good lady and so is Brittany. I'm not going to let something happen to their family, and I’m not going to let Aunt Dee find out about anything that happened tonight."

  I prodded him in the stomach with my index finger. "Look here Blaine. You are not my father and you are not the keeper of my aunt's family. So just stay out of my life and I will do the same for you!" Before he could respond I turned and stormed into the house, shutting the door as quietly as I could behind me even though I just wanted to slam it right in Blaine's face.

  I watched Blaine from the front window. He stood there, shaking his head as a dimpled smirk crossed his lips. He finally got into his truck and pulled out of the driveway.

  I was an entire melting pot of emotions: confused, enraged, and well…kind of intrigued all at the same time. I didn't know if that would be the last that I would see of Blaine and part of me was hoping that it would be. Another part, a small part, was hoping that it wouldn't be.

  Chapter 6

  I could usually sleep in with no problem, but Aunt Dee's food was not something you could sleep through. The smell of pancakes reached my nose as soon as I woke up, and I was throwing that pink marshmallow comforter off of my bed faster than I knew I could, to scamper into the kitchen.