[My Paper Heart 01.0] My Paper Heart

by Magan Vernon

  We would hold hands walking down the street and my phone was overloaded with pictures of the two of us. Needless to say, it was obvious that I was falling for a Louisiana boy.

  "Are you going out with Blaine again tonight?" Aunt Dee asked between mouthfuls of chicken fried steak.

  "I don't think they could breathe too long without each other," Britt quipped, swirling the green beans around on her plate.

  I shot a glare over at Britt and then smiled back at Aunt Dee. "He's supposed to come by after dinner. I didn't want to come between a southern boy and his momma's cooking. Though he swears yours is better." I picked up a piece of steak with my fork. "But don't tell his mom that!" I laughed.

  Britt rolled her eyes and Aunt Dee shared my laugh.

  "Don't you have some rich boyfriend back in Illinois or something?" Britt literally spat, making a piece of gravy fly out of her mouth and across the table.

  "Brittany." Aunt Dee scowled.

  "No. It's fine." I turned my whole body toward Britt. Now she was just making me angry. I dealt with the glares all week and her making comments like 'Do you even know where LSU is,' when Blaine would turn on Sports Center. But now it was just getting old.

  "What is your problem Britt?"

  I knew the answer to that one, so before she could even open her mouth, I put up a finger as to say give me a minute.

  "Look. I know you have some sort of little crush on Blaine and I'm sorry that I went on that first date with him. I honestly didn't think it would turn into anything and I honestly didn't think I'd have this strong of feelings for him."

  She looked down at her plate silently. She couldn't even look me in the eye.

  "I am sorry for hurting you. I truly am. You’re my family and like one of my best and only friends here." I picked up the fork and put it to my lips, but paused before putting the piece of meat into my mouth. "But at the same time I do really like Blaine, and I don't want to lose you at the expense of having him as my boyfriend."

  She sat silent and then slowly inched her chin up until our eyes met.

  "Is he your boyfriend?"

  "What?"

  "You heard me." Her accent got deeper. "Is he your boyfriend?"

  "Well..." I put my fork down.

  "Well is he or isn't he? It's not that hard of a question." Britt pounded the table with her chubby little fist.

  "Brittany, behave!" Aunt Dee remarked. The woman barely raised her voice and when she did it still didn't have much of an effect.

  "No." I put my hand up toward Aunt Dee. "It's fine, I've got this." I turned my attention back toward Britt. "No, he's not my boyfriend. I mean he like hasn't asked anything official."

  It wasn't like Beau did either. One day I kind of just requested him as 'in a relationship' on Facebook and he confirmed it. Unfortunately that didn't stop him from sleeping with half of the girls on campus.

  "Well then how do you know he's not going off with other girls after he leaves here?" She stood up from the table. I tried to respond but she stopped me, almost screaming. "How do you know he's not just like your so-called boyfriend back home? Maybe he's just with you because you're pretty and blonde, but that's it. When he wants a real relationship he doesn't want it with some airhead, he wants substance!"

  "Brittany!" Aunt Dee stood up from the table. "Now that's enough!"

  "That's fine." Brittany leaned in toward me. "I'm finished anyways." She then looked up toward Aunt Dee. "I’m going to Sarah's."

  Before Aunt Dee could get a word in edgewise Brittany stormed out the front door and slammed it behind her.

  Maybe she was right. Maybe Blaine was just like Beau, and maybe I was just an airheaded blonde.

  ∞

  "Come on Libby, tell me what's wrong."

  We sat outside the Tasty Freeze. Blaine had one hand on my knee, as he straddled the picnic bench, and the other one with a spoon full of ice cream. I couldn't even look at him. I just looked down at the banana split we were sharing.

  "Nothing's wrong." I lied, mashing the banana with my spoon.

  "Libby, I know we haven't been hanging out that long, but I know when something is wrong." He set down the spoon and ran his fingers through my hair. "If you keep sulking I may just have to go take your Aunt Dee out instead." He was trying to make a joke, but in my state I took it a little too personal.

  "Or you could take one of your other many lady friends out." I continued absently swirling my spoon in the soupy ice cream.

  "Libby, you know there is no one else. Hell, how would I even have time for anyone else? When we aren't together I'm working or sleeping. Sometimes I even fall asleep on your Aunt Dee's couch so we still are together while I'm sleeping."

  He was right, but I couldn't shake off what Britt said. "You aren't wanting a girl that you can have a conversation with? A girl that actually knows what they are talking about on Sports Center?"

  Blaine let out a single laugh. "Libby." He scooted closer toward me. "I actually like when you ask me why baseball players can make millions of dollars, but can't spend twelve dollars on a haircut."

  I had to smile at that one.

  "I like that when you get nervous you bite your bottom lip and twirl your hair. I like that you don't always know the right things to say, and really Libby, I just like you."

  Our eyes met as I turned toward him. "Then why don't you want me to be your girlfriend?"

  "What?" He kind of leaned back on the bench.

  "Why haven't you asked me to be your girlfriend?" I tilted my head to the side as I waited for an answer.

  "Is that what this is all about? You want to be my girlfriend?"

  I nodded gently.

  "What's wrong with what we've got now? Everyone knows in this town we're together."

  That sounded like something Beau would say: why change things, this is just how college relationships go.

  "I don't want to share you. I don't want to have to worry about you."

  "Libby, you don't have to worry about me, and I don't want to be with any other girl than you. Everyone in this town knows it. Even the guys on the crew give me crap because I spend so much time with you." He stroked my cheek with the back of his hand.

  "Then why not give it a title? Are you ashamed of having me as a girlfriend?" I slithered away from his hand.

  "Ashamed of you?" Blaine blinked hard. "Libby you are the prettiest girl this town has ever seen. I think every time we walk outside for lunch every guy in town whispers: damn, how did a good old boy like Blaine land her." He smiled and tried to meet my eyes.

  I sighed. "I just..."

  "Baby." He took my chin in his hand and made our eyes meet. "I'm not like that asshole from school. I won't hurt you like he did."

  I'd heard that one before too. I forced my head away from his grip and looked back down at the table.

  "Fine, have it your way." Last time a guy said that to me it was Beau at Alpha Mu formal. He was mad because I wouldn't sleep with him, since it was my time of the month, and then went off and got a blow job from someone else's date behind the DJ booth. I looked over at Blaine with pleading eyes, hoping he wouldn't do that behind the Tasty Freeze dumpster.

  No, he definitely didn't move from where we were. Instead he stood on top of the picnic table.

  "Blaine, what are you doing?" I whispered looking up at him.

  He shot a bright smile at me and winked.

  "Attention people of Elsbury and Tasty Freeze guests!" Blaine cupped his hands and bellowed turning his hips and making a small circle on top of the picnic table. "This woman sitting at the table with me."

  He pointed down at me, and I’m pretty sure my face was redder than the plastic picnic table.

  "Is Libby Gentry and she is the most amazing girl in the entire world." By that time he had drawn quite a crowd of employees and patrons.

  "We have been hanging out ever since she came here and it has been some of the best three weeks of my life." A big aw came from the crowd. "So in short."

&n
bsp; He knelt down on the table in front of me and lifted my chin up with his hand until our eyes met. "Libby, I'd make a fool of myself for you any day and if you don't say you'll be my girlfriend, I think the whole town might just run us out of the Tasty Freeze."

  That night Blaine was the one to make the Facebook relationship request first, and I gladly accepted.

  Chapter 11

  Blaine and I had officially been together almost two weeks, and so he thought it would be great to take me to his house for Sunday dinner.

  "It's just a little thing we do. My sisters come in with their kids and you can, I guess, officially meet my parents, though I think this whole town knows who you are."

  Those were his words. We were sitting on our usual bench downtown, eating curly fries from Sam's on our lunch. Ever since our first date we were definitely a permanent fixture in the town. This was something people either loved or hated. Girls were jealous and would glare at me, but all of Blaine's buddies seemed to just clap every time he would kiss me goodbye or even answer one of my texts. It was a little annoying.

  Random people would come up to me and say things like: good for you, about time somebody locked down that Crabtree boy. And I don't even know how many random texts and facebook comments I got from my sorority sisters back home.

  But there was one person that definitely was not happy with our new relationship, and that was Britt. For a long time she was the only person for me to talk to in the whole town, and I guess she felt like she had been replaced by Blaine. I think if it were any other boy than her crush to end all crushes, it would have been fine, but since it wasn't, she acted as if I committed some sort of a crime.

  I thought that I would need to get a new outfit to meet Blaine's family, since unfortunately my wardrobe at Aunt Dee's was limited to work clothes and lying around the house clothes. Aunt Dee had the idea that I take Thursday off of work and take Britt with me into New Orleans. She thought I could maybe get a new bedspread and some clothes, and just spend some time with Britt. I thought it would definitely be a good chance to talk to Britt, or at least just have some fun.

  "Are you sure you don't want me to go with you? I can take the afternoon off." Blaine breathed on the other line. I could tell he was trying to speak quietly so that the rest of the road crew couldn't hear him.

  "Blaine, I'm a big girl, and I have Britt with me. I'm sure we will be fine in New Orleans on a Thursday afternoon." I had him on speaker phone as I slipped a t-shirt over my head. I was almost shouting into the phone.

  "But what if Brittany doesn't know her way somewhere? How are you going to get around?"

  I giggled. "Blaine, we're fine! We have our internet directions and if we get lost we'll just stop and ask for directions."

  Blaine groaned.

  "And besides, I need some girl time and shopping time. If you were allowed in my bedroom you would see that I have a bubblegum pink bedspread that badly needs to be replaced." I checked myself out in the mirror and put the phone back up to my ear, taking it off of speaker. "Besides, if you take off of work you will lose valuable money that could be used to get us more root beer floats."

  I could hear him smiling on the other end. He did this cute little thing where he would blow air out of his nose when he smiled. "Alright Libby, well text me when you get home alright?"

  "Alright, now get back to work."

  I heard my bedroom door creak open just as I hung up the phone.

  "You know if you'd rather go with Blaine than me, I understand." Britt was standing in the doorway swaying back and forth.

  "Of course I want to go with you. I think Blaine and I spend enough time together, and I could definitely use some girl time." I plopped my phone in my purse and cracked a big toothy grin at Britt.

  "Well I'm not much for shopping." Britt shifted back and forth on her flip flop clad feet.

  "Well I think we can change that. Now come on." I stomped on over to her and looped my arm through hers. "I don't think the Grand Am goes over fifty, and I'd really like to get there before I'm thirty." It was the first time in a long time Britt actually cracked a smile.

  ∞

  The whole car ride was almost silent except for the country songs that blared on the radio. Britt still seemed to be mad at me, but I was going to have a good shopping day no matter what. It was my first time in New Orleans and I just really wanted to see everything.

  The French Quarter was every bit as beautiful as I imagined. I loved looking up at every single iron terrace and even getting my heels caught in the cobblestone street. I thought maybe I should have let Blaine take me there on our first date, but maybe he would have been as bored with me as Britt was. She seemed to yawn about every five seconds and would just roll her eyes every time I would squeal at a building I had seen in a movie.

  "I think we've seen enough places Brad Pitt may have touched during Interview with the Vampire, can we go find whatever you need and go?" Britt sulked, crossing her arms across her chest.

  "Fine." I almost skipped toward a boutique as Brittany dawdled behind me.

  "But this is going to be fun!" I thought maybe if I just stayed positive then maybe Britt would too. A shop keeper nodded in our direction, but was busy showing a blue-haired lady a very expensive looking watch.

  "So." Britt glanced at me from behind a rack of dresses. "Do you really like Blaine..?"

  I held up a pale yellow sundress in front of me. I was definitely not sure if I could still fit in a size six, and I was beginning to wonder how this was going to work out for Kristi's wedding.

  I was also not looking forward to having this conversation with Britt. She always gave me second thoughts about Blaine whenever we would talk. Sometimes it would turn into something good, and sometimes it would just cause an argument.

  "Well, yeah, I mean he is my boyfriend." I grabbed another dress off of the rack to keep my hands busy.

  She looked down and shifted from one foot to the other. "I just don't understand how you knew I liked him, and then met him." She looked up and put her hands outward toward me. "Then you absolutely hated him, then after one night y'all are inseparable, and I have to just sit and watch you cuddle on MY couch with my crush to end all crushes."

  I put the dress down and just looked at Brittany for a moment. What could I say? Would anything really make it better? I didn't want to just humor her and say there were plenty of other guys out there, and it would just be mocking for me to say she was too young for him anyways.

  "You know." I sighed. "Before college not even a single guy looked at me."

  Brittany rolled her eyes. "Oh please, like I haven't heard that ugly duckling story a million times before." She twirled her hair and in a mocking high voice uttered, "don't worry Brittany, once you fill out you'll be gorgeous. You know when I was younger I got picked on all the time and I turned out okay."

  She stopped with the mocking voice and twirling her hair. Then she looked straight at me with a determined look on her face. "People can say that it gets better all they want, but when you're living in the now, and you see every other girl in your class get a date, every other girl in your class even get looked at by a boy, and you get nothing but horrible nicknames and terrible stories to come home and cry about."

  I could see the tears almost welling up in her eyes, but she pushed them back.

  Then I thought about Brittany's mom. The beauty queen whose reign ended the night Brittany was conceived. I winced when I realized that it wasn't all about me this time. Brittany never would be the beauty queen that her mother was and would always be haunted with the memory of what became of her.

  "You know what?" I walked over to her and put my arm around her. She was so short her head was practically at my chest. "This place is a bit out of my price range anyways. You want to get out of here? Maybe I'll take you to the batting cages?"

  Britt actually looked up at me and smiled. "Really?"

  "Sure. I'm not used to usually having a budget, but I'm sure we could find me a dre
ss and a bedspread at Wal-Mart or something."

  "So what about you and your boyfriend back at school anyways?" Brittany piped up as we walked toward the car. "I know you told me he cheated on you and stuff, but what does he think about you and Blaine? If I don't like it he must really not like it."

  I sighed. The last thing I wanted to talk about was Beau, and I could just imagine what he was saying about me to all of his fraternity brothers. "Remember how I told you that guys didn't even look at me in high school?"

  "Psh, yeah and you act like I really believe that one." Brittany opened her car door and I slid in after she did. "You're blonde, tall, and skinny and you think I believe you didn't have guys begging for your number like they are here?"

  "Well." I started the car. "See here's the thing. In a big high school, people don't even notice who you are if you're not popular. And with blonde wavy hair and being as tall as I am, I got the nickname Big Bird in middle school that just kind of stuck with me."

  Brittany laughed. "You? Big Bird?"

  "It's completely true! Boys used to ask me how to get to Sesame Street and girls would constantly ask if Elmo and I had the same hairstylist."

  "You definitely aren't getting picked on and called Big Bird now. You're like a sorority princess." Britt pointed out as I pulled out of the parking spot.

  I took a deep breath. "Yes, I may have learned a thing or two about using a diffuser, and I may have joined a sorority, but honestly none of that would have ever happened if I didn't start dating Beau."

  "Huh?" Brittany turned down the radio and looked straight at me. I caught her out of the corner of my eye, and her own eyes were filled with bewilderment. "What do you mean if it wasn't for Beau?"