Dog Collar Cuisine

by Adrienne Giordano

  Dad held up a finger. “Who are the suspects?”

  “We think we’ve narrowed it to Molly,” Lucie said. “Antoine’s manager. And perhaps his friend Reuben. We’re hoping today will tell us for sure.”

  She and Tim had discussed this at length last evening. Tim, being a cop, wanted to bring law enforcement in. To which Lucie countered that Antoine was the actual victim, and he’d chosen not to involve the police. He wanted to keep this quiet. Lucie couldn’t blame him.

  And, once Lucie proved her innocence, she still hoped to do an investment deal with Antoine. Outing him right now, after he’d made it clear he didn’t intend on calling the police, wouldn’t help her.

  “I’d go another way,” Dad said.

  This should be good. Lucie took a long pull of air. “I’m sure you would.”

  “My way is better. Jimmy and me, we’ll take care of this one, two, three.”

  Jimmy’s head bobbed. “You and me, Joe. We got this.”

  Tim cleared his throat. Poor guy. A good honest cop surrounded by a mob boss, his cronie, and a dog named Sonny Corleone.

  “No,” Lucie said. “We’re doing this legit.”

  “Assignments,” Tim said, attempting to refocus the group. “Joey, you take the northeast section.”

  “Otis is coming with. I’m not looking like some kind of perv hanging around a park by myself. That’s just wrong.”

  Now he wanted to bring Otis into this? Lucie held her hands out. “Did you clear that with Mrs. L?”

  She’d redone the entire schedule last night to free up Joey and he intended on blowing the entire thing up.

  “Yeah. I’m not looking like no perv.”

  Lucie whipped her cell phone out. “I’ll let Lauren know she can skip Otis.”

  “Already done,” Joey said.

  Really?

  “Don’t look so shocked,” Ro said. “He’s good at this. You’re just too type A to appreciate it. For a normal person, Joey’s a rock star. You’re a freak. Nothing compares.”

  Probably true.

  “Thank you, Joey.”

  “No prob.”

  Ro waggled her hand, sending her bangle bracelets jangling. “Give me a good assignment. Something that doesn’t require me half-naked.”

  Tim studied the map, an aerial view of the park Lucie had printed from the internet. He tapped the western edge of the section he’d circled. “Let’s put you here. By this fountain.”

  “That works,” Lucie said. “I lined up Boots for you. He’s small, so he’ll be easy to handle.”

  “I’ll be fine. I have my walking shoes on.”

  At that, Tim snorted.

  “We’ll give Mom and Dad the Ninja Bitches.”

  “Oh,” Mom said. “I love those two. So sassy.”

  Apparently, Dad wasn’t feeling it. “Come on,” he said, “you’re giving me a couple of pansies?”

  How offensive! Everyone always underestimated petite people. And dogs. “Dad,” Lucie said, “don’t mess with those girls. They’ll take your leg off.”

  Clearly a non-believer, Dad gave her a thumbs-down. “They don’t look like it. Give me the bull dog.”

  “No,” Joey said. “He’s mine. I love that dog.”

  Dad let out a huff. “Jesus Christmas, how embarrassing. I hope no one recognizes me.”

  “Assignments,” Tim said, this time way louder than necessary. “Jimmy, you and Sonny are at the bottom here.”

  Lucie nodded. “That works. Then we have Mom and Dad strolling, Ro on the western edge, and Joey covering the east. You and I can sit somewhere and watch.”

  Tim studied the map, his lips moving one way then the other. “That’ll work. Luce, we’ll get there early. Scope out a spot.”

  Lucie stepped away, retrieving the plastic grocery bag she’d tossed on her desk. “I brought my wig. Just in case Antoine spots me.”

  She and that blond wig had seen a lot of action together. Some of it in the bedroom, but she couldn’t think about that now. That involved her ex, Frankie, and his twisted nurse fantasy. Somehow it didn’t seem fair to Tim that her mind wandered to X-rated thoughts of another man.

  “Good. I have a hat in the car. God knows my hair’ll stand out like a tomato in a patch of snow.”

  His sometimes red, sometimes strawberry-blond hair made blending an issue. Plus, he was a big, handsome guy with that commanding presence some women, including Lucie, found sexy.

  Tim tapped the map sitting on the table. “The money drop is at 11:00. Everyone be in place no later than 10:30. Dress warm, but conservatively. Yes, Ro, that means you.”

  “Oh, haha.”

  “I’m serious. Don’t wear anything that makes you stand out.”

  Lucie eyed her. “Leave the leopard print coat here.”

  “Definitely,” Tim said. “The goal is getting lost in the crowd. And I’m not sure how much of a crowd we’ll have in a park in January. The fact that our perp actually picked this location leads me to think it’s amateur hour.”

  “Good for us,” Joey said.

  “It is.” Tim glanced up. “Is everyone set on their assignments?”

  “Yep,” Ro said. “Blending.”

  Jimmy offered a sarcastic salute. Dad cracked him on the back of the head, the two of them letting out a laugh.

  What a crew.

  “All right. Now the fun part. I’ll show you all how to use the radios. Then we’ll see you at the park. And whatever you do, don’t call attention to yourselves.”

  Lucie entered Cliffside Park at 10:35. Five minutes behind schedule. Damned street parking.

  Between the brisk walk and the sun’s rays knocking the chill from the air, a few beads of sweat dripped from her neck. She tugged on the knot in her scarf, opening it enough for fresh air to hit her skin.

  “You here?” Tim said in her ear via the handy-dandy radio.

  She lifted her hand to check the wire at her ear. The one nicely hidden by her wig. All secure. Agent Lucie, ready for action. “I am. Sorry I’m late. Parking issues.”

  “You’re fine. I’m on the bench three down from the one next to the tree.”

  Lucie followed the winding path that led to the target tree. She walked about 200 yards and spotted Tim in his baseball cap and sunglasses. He leaned forward, his big shoulders hunching as he propped his elbows on his knees and fiddled with his phone. With his hair covered and his body tucked under that puffy jacket, she almost didn’t recognize him.

  She glanced around, taking in the trees and dormant grass as she power-walked her way down the path. To anyone watching, she was simply a woman getting her daily 10,000 steps in. “Is everyone in place?”

  “Yes,” Tim said. “All good.”

  “Alpha Squad on alert.”

  Lucie rolled her eyes at Ro playing commando. In stilettos.

  “Good lord,” Lucie muttered, half laughing to herself.

  “Roger,” Mom said, “Dad and I are here with the girls.”

  Lucie glanced across the giant fountain where her parents strolled. Given Dad’s weird celebrity status in Chicago, Lucie insisted he go incognito. They’d covered his trademark hair in a homburg-style hat and finished the look with dark sunglasses. Really, he looked like some sort of mobbed-up spy. But whatever. It got the job done.

  “Jimmy?” she asked.

  “I’m on the path. Trees are hiding me.”

  The gang’s all here.

  With everyone in place, Lucie continued down the path. She’d dressed accordingly for her power-walker role in yoga pants, sneakers, a winter athletic jacket, and, of course, her scarf and blond wig. Her mother barely recognized her, Antoine never would.

  She hoofed by Tim, still on his bench, still messing with his phone. As she passed, he let out a wolf whistle.

  Men. Such horndogs.

  “Couldn’t help it,” he said via the radio.

  “Well, try.” She reminded herself to focus on the current predicament. “I’ll do a spin around the fountain
. Any sign of Antoine?”

  “Not me,” Jimmy said.

  “No sightings by Alpha Squad.”

  “Wait,” Mom said. “Who are we looking for?”

  This is what happened when working with amateurs. “There will be a man by the bench two down from where Tim is. When we get closer to 11:00, Tim will walk off so Antoine doesn’t recognize him.”

  “Got it,” Mom said.

  A couple of fellow power-walking women cruised along with slick looking jogging strollers. Lucie nodded, then checked over her shoulder making sure they were out of earshot before continuing. “Once Tim leaves, stay alert, but don’t be obvious. Antoine will leave the money in that hollowed-out tree. He might still hang around though to watch for the blackmailer.”

  “I would,” Dad said. “I’d take care of it right here.”

  “Kick their ass,” Jimmy said.

  “Everyone pipe down.”

  Thank you, Tim.

  Three loud barks ensued. Sonny. Off to the right. Lucie swiveled her head around, found Jimmy and Sonny on the opposite side of the fountain. Sonny offered up a play bow to a Black Lab. How cute was he?

  Jimmy, clearly staying on point, nudged him along. Also across the fountain, Joey and Ro entered the area with Otis lumbering along, head dipped low, clearly not amused by the new locale.

  “Is Otis all right?”

  “Yeah,” Joey said. “He’s tired. Mrs. L had company last night. He stayed up too late.”

  Damned parties. Poor Otis. “Maybe stand off to the side or something. Let him rest.”

  “He’ll be fine.”

  “Alpha Squad out.”

  Someone snorted. Had to be Tim.

  Lucie took the curve around the fountain, coming face-to-face with Mom, Dad, and the Ninja Bitches. The girls’ heads snapped up. Despite the blond wig, they’d recognized her. So much for her disguise. Probably caught her scent. Dang it. As she drew closer, the girls leaped and tugged at their leashes, straining for some Lucie time.

  Not now. So not Lucie time. When she ignored them, they barked. And barked. And barked.

  “Luce,” Tim said, “what the hell?”

  “I know! I’m sorry. They must smell me.”

  “Well, go pet them or something. Shut them up.”

  Lucie hustled over, squatting to Ninja Bitch level and giving them both a good rub. “Girls,” she said, sotto voce, “I love the greeting, but this is serious business here.” Lucie smiled up at her parents, supposedly two people she didn’t know. “What lovely dogs you have. And so friendly.”

  “They’re too small for me,” Dad said.

  Blah, blah, whatever. Fannie leaped up, slathering Lucie with licks aplenty and knocking her off balance. If she didn’t get up, she’d wind up ass over elbow. Talk about a spectacle.

  Lucie stood, giving the girls one last pat. “It was nice meeting you, dogs, but I have to go.”

  Lucie continued on, picking up her pace and really getting into character by pumping her arms.

  The far side of the fountain provided a straight-on view of the bench near the hollowed-out tree. She scanned the area, her gaze landing on Tim, who gave up on his phone and stood. He tucked his phone into his jacket pocket and moved away from his bench.

  Showtime already? Lucie paused, pretending to read something on her phone while she checked the time. 10:55.

  Any minute now Antoine would be entering the area.

  “Stay alert, people,” she said.

  “Roger that.”

  “Got it.”

  “These Ninja Bitches are a handful.”

  “God help me,” Tim muttered.

  Why did Lucie have an overwhelming urge to apologize?

  “Hang on,” he said. “I think I see Antoine. At my 2:00. I gotta veer off or he’ll see me. Luce, do you see him?”

  She glanced up from her phone and found Chef Antoine entering the fountain area, casually strolling with his hands tucked into the straps of an oversized red backpack. “Yes. I see him.”

  “Good. I’ll follow the path back around the fountain. Don’t lose him.”

  A loud woof sounded—Otis. Lucie swung to Joey and Ro on the north side of the fountain, just yards from the drop point. Too close.

  Joey stared down at Otis who had decided to siesta right on the path.

  “Guys,” Lucie said, “you have to move. Way too close. Antoine met Ro the other night. Even with her hat and scarf, he might recognize her.”

  Ro angled away from Antoine, giving her his back as he strode toward the bench. A young guy jogged toward them, then slowed to a walk as he checked his watch.

  “Who’s this now?” Lucie muttered.

  “Don’t know,” Ro said, her voice hushed. “I’ll get rid of him.”

  “No,” Tim said. “He’s a runner. He’ll clear out after he checks his stats.”

  But Ro was already on the move, striding in the opposite direction toward the jogger.

  Joey finally got Otis to his feet, but that stubborn animal wouldn’t move. Just stood there like a tired old man. Dogs. So unpredictable.

  “Luce,” Tim said, “are you watching?”

  She snapped back to Antoine, now sliding his backpack off and setting it on the bench. “Yes. Antoine’s at the bench. Ro, where are you going?”

  “Watch and learn, sister.”

  “Crap,” Tim said.

  “Language,” Mom said.

  Just as Ro neared the jogger, the extremely male and buff jogger, she drew up short, grabbing her calf. “Ooh, ow.”

  Lord, please no.

  The jogger looked up at the hot brunette, apparently injured, and rushed over.

  Men. Horndogs.

  “Are you okay?” he said.

  A chorus of voices erupted over the radio.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Who’s hurt?”

  “What the hell is going on?”

  “I’m on my way.”

  Still with her eyes on Antoine, Lucie whipped her head sideways and spotted Jimmy rushing in from the cover of the trees.

  “Jimmy, no. Stay back.”

  “Hey,” Joey’s voice.

  Oh, no.

  Lucie paused and did a half-turn, sliding her eyes to Ro and her fake injury then back to Antoine, who pushed off the bench. He grabbed his backpack and wandered to the tree, leaning on it.

  “What hurts?”

  That had to be the jogger. Lucie glanced over to where he squatted, his hands wrapped around Ro’s calf.

  Then Joey came into view and her head began to pound.

  “Luce, focus!”

  “I am. It’s just—”

  “Dude,” Joey jerked his thumb, “hands off my girl.”

  And, yep, here we go.

  “Huh?” the guy said, his hands still firmly planted on Ro’s leg. “She’s hurt, I’m trying to help.”

  “Yeah, well, you can do that without pawing at her. Hands. Off.”

  “Joey,” Ro said. “Stop it. Why do you do this? All. The. Time. Always with the fighting. I swear you’re a ten-year-old.”

  “Jeez, man. Don’t be such an asshole.”

  “Crap,” Tim said.

  “I’m sorry,” Lucie said.

  Because really, she should have known better than to let Ro and Joey do an op together. They were too volatile.

  “Excuse me,” Mom said. “Did that man just call my son an asshole?”

  Mom. Swearing. A panicked, choking laugh caught in Lucie’s throat.

  “Hold on.” Dad’s voice. “I’m coming over.”

  Sure. Why not throw a match on spilled gas? Lucie breathed in, fought through the banging in her skull. “No. Dad, please. Stay in position.”

  Antoine. She swung a look back where he slid the backpack from his shoulder and used his elbow to tuck it into the tree.

  “Who’re you calling an asshole? All I did was ask you to get your hands off her.”

  “Oh no. Tim, please, get over there before Joey pummels that gu
y.”

  “Damn it.”

  Loud barking sounded. The Ninja Bitches doing their war cry as Mom and Dad descended on the soon-to-be bedlam involving their only son. The girls’ growls came through the radio and Lucie’s panic kicked up a notch.

  “Mom, keep those dogs out of the fray. I’ll kill someone if they get hurt.”

  Mom grabbed hold of the double leash, hanging back while Dad charged in and shoved the jogger.

  “Oh for the love of God,” Ro said. “You people!”

  Look who was talking? The one who started the whole mess. Everything was fine and according to schedule until the drama queen showed up.

  “Who’re you pushing, old man?”

  Uh-oh. “Tim?”

  “I’m on it. Watch that tree.”

  And there he was, her hunky cop boyfriend darned near sprinting toward the group, ready to jump in and keep her father and brother from an assault charge.

  Lucie swung back. No Antoine. No, no, no. She skimmed the area, checking the five pathways leading to the fountain. Nothing.

  Gone.

  “Antoine’s gone.”

  Giving up on Antoine, she turned back to the group. Tim inserted himself between Dad, Joey, and the jogger. “Whatever this is, everyone take a breath.”

  The jogger reached around Tim and shoved Joey. Not good. Even from across the fountain, the cold air became charged, the tension hanging like the blade of a guillotine about to drop. Her moose of a brother almost came out of his shoes lunging at the guy. With Tim in the middle.

  He gripped Joey’s jacket, threw all his weight into him, and shoved him back a step.

  “Tim,” Lucie said. “I’d get out of there.”

  “Damn it, Joey, calm down.”

  The tree.

  The money.

  Lucie looked back. No one.

  Except…

  A young guy wearing jeans, a black puffy jacket, and a beanie cap headed down the path toward the park exit. Where’d he come from?

  A red backpack hung on his shoulder.

  Behind her, Tim continued doing his magic, separating Joey and the jogger while keeping Jimmy and Dad from jumping in.

  Backpack.

  Before beanie boy got too far, Lucie started walking, her sneaker clad feet pounding the asphalt as she hustled to catch up.

  “Someone just picked up the backpack. It’s a guy wearing a black jacket and beanie cap. I’m following him.”