by Dayna Quince
“I didn’t know what happened to you, but I still see that boy in you, even if you don’t.”
It was the wrong thing to say. He hated that boy.
“You’ll be going now, Miss Everly.” He moved away and slid off the bed. Weirick forced his shaking hands to do something useful like straighten his clothing. He needed to get out of this castle and away from her.
“Did I…do something wrong?”
Yes, you’re driving me mad for wanting you when I know it will only kill me. “No.” He turned to face her, feeling his control slip back into place at last. “I want to enjoy our time together, Violet. I don’t want to rush.”
She scooted off the bed, her hair disheveled, her lips swollen from his kisses, but she watched him with eyes that said she wasn’t fooled. “Are you coming to the picnic?” She fixed her hair and righted her dress in the mirror before coming to stand before him. She was brave, this girl—no, she was a woman, he reminded himself, she used to be a girl, just as he used to be a boy. She was intelligent and forthright, even if her true motives were unclear. He didn’t think she’d lied to him yet. He folded his arms across his chest.
“Yes, my brother has to marry someone at this bloody party. He wanted you, but I changed his mind.”
“No.” She smiled. “He changed his own mind when he found me in your room. Will he tell anyone?”
“No. He isn’t stupid, for all he acts like a buffoon.”
“Then he is an ally.”
“There is no such things as allies, Violet. You will save yourself from trouble if you learn that now.”
She reached up and lightly touched his cut. “Bernie told me what happened with your father. I understand why you’re angry. You’ve been hurt, badly.”
“Don’t coddle me.” He stepped out of her reach and turned his back on her. The last thing he needed was her pity.
“I wouldn’t dare, but I’m going to show you a different way, Weirick. I’m going to show you that you can trust me.”
Weirick didn’t acknowledge her words as he changed his coat.
He heard the panel door open, and when he looked back, she was gone. Good. The next time they were alone he’d make sure her mouth had other things to do than speak. When she spoke, she caused trouble. She made his scars feel raw and open, the physical ones and especially the emotional ones.
She wanted to dissect him and fix him. What was it about women that made them think men needed mending? We are either good or bad, mostly bad, and no amount of tenderness will change that. His mother knew that well.
Chapter 11
Violet went to her room where she was surprised to find Bernie. Bernie jumped off the bed, coming to Violet’s side as Violet washed her face in the basin. The cool water did nothing to cool her cheeks or her anger.
He was a beast, and not because of his scars and size, but because he was so determined to see the worst in others. What could she do to convince him otherwise?
“Well, you don’t look like a happily ravished woman,” Bernie said.
“That’s because I haven’t been ravished.”
“Two occasions for a tryst and he hasn’t seduced you? Do you think he is incapable?”
Violet blushed again as she remembered the way his body had pressed against hers and the hard ridge of his arousal against her stomach.
“The only thing he is incapable of is trust. I tell you, he is as stubborn as—as the most stubborn thing you could think of.”
“Chester, or Willa, my youngest sister. Willa has the will of a mountain. I suppose that isn’t surprising when one is the youngest of nine. She has a lot to contend with.”
“Don’t we all,” Violet muttered angrily as she dried her face and hands. “I don’t understand him. One moment he is holding me like he’ll never let me go, and then the next moment he hates me.”
“And men say we’re the fickle sex. I suspect it all has to do with his father.”
“Well, I’d like to kick the man in the shin or worse.”
“He deserves worse.” Bernie handed Violet a shawl. “There is a squall coming in. The picnic has been moved to the conservatory, but we have time for a walk. It will help you feel better.”
“Thank you.” Violet nodded. “Lord Andrews caught me in his room. He sent the duke to me. It was humiliating, but then he acted like leaving me for his brother was something he wanted.”
Bernie looked at Violet in astonishment. “He helped?”
“I don’t know what to think.”
“That is odd. Perhaps he doesn’t want the title? Perhaps he wants his brother to remain in England, but that doesn’t explain why Weirick is insisting Roderick marry, unless…” Bernie lowered her voice. “There is talk that he is sick. It’s pure speculation, of course. He looks fit to me.”
Violet chewed her bottom lip. She didn’t believe he was sick. He was simply dead set against marriage. “He’s not ill, Bernie. He is determined not to marry.”
“Every man says that.”
“But Weirick means it.”
“There was once a man in the village whose nose fell off his face right there in the pub. They say he had the pox. It could all be tap room talk, but could you imagine such a thing?”
“I cannot,” Violet whispered. She knew what the pox was, but that implied Weirick had been with many women, and Violet didn’t want to think about that. Violet shook her head. “I don’t know what to think about either man. I’m confused, Bernie. I don’t know what to do. I thought my heart would lead me, but everything he’s doing makes no sense to me. Am I naïve to think I could make him fall in love with me? What if…what if I succeed, but in the end, he is still the same stubborn man who will refuse to love me and trust me. How could I be happy in such a marriage?”
“I don’t know…” Bernie hugged Violet. “I have so little experience with men that I’m afraid I can’t advise you.”
“I need help. I need to break through his walls. How else will I know if it is right?”
“Well, something about him kept your interest for five years. What was it?”
“It was…the way he looked.”
“That’s rather shallow, Violet.”
“No, not his physical appearance, not only that. It was the way he carried himself, and the way he looked at me, like he recognized me and I recognized something in him.”
“Now that sounds more like it. Downright poetic.”
“But I can’t explain it to him. He already thinks I’m some obsessed ninny, that he may as well seduce me to keep me away from his brother. But now his brother thinks I’ve been seduced, and I don’t know what to think about any of it.”
“Don’t think then. Act. First, we’ll start with a walk to clear your head, and then we’ll go from there.”
Violet nodded. “Yes, a walk sounds perfect.”
Outside the air was cold and wind whipped at their cloaks. They huddled together, shoulder to shoulder and walked down to the first tier. Violet looked out over the water. The waves crashed against the shore angrily, and the water was darker than she’d ever seen it. It matched her mood perfectly. Her thoughts were churning, chaotic and dark. She hated indecision. For so long, she had thought she understood herself, what she wanted, the kind of life she wanted to have. But every year that passed without Weirick, those ideas became clouded with doubt. And then one morning the paper arrived and there he was, a caricature of him hunched and cloaked with a scarred face.
THE UNDESIRABLE DUKE RETURNS.
There had been no information about what had happened or where he’d been, but he was back, at last he was back. But now Violet didn’t understand who he was, or what he wanted, or what he felt about her. He scorned her with words, and kissed her so tenderly it made her heart ache, or so roughly it made her body crave more.
“I love a good squall, don’t you?” Bernie asked at her side. It was hard to hear her when the wind snatched her words away so quickly.
Violet nodded, not really caring to ans
wer one way or another.
“The earth feels new again after a storm, washed clean by the rain and wind.”
Violet nodded. There was a figure coming up from the shore. He was cloaked with the hood pulled up. Violet nudged Bernie to get her attention. “Who is that?”
Bernie squinted. “Roderick.”
“We should go. I don’t want to see him.” Violet turned to leave, but Bernie grabbed her hand. “He sees us,” Bernie said.
Violet still wanted to run. He knew about her and his brother. What would he do?
He approached them swiftly, jogging up the last steps. He stopped before them and pulled his hood back. “You shouldn’t be out here. It will rain any moment.”
“We were just about to go inside,” Bernie said.
His eyes took in Violet. “Miss Everly, I’m surprised to see you out and about.”
She swallowed. Her mouth tasted like bile. “I’m not sure where else I would be.”
“Indeed? There is much to see in the castle.” His eyes studied her. “For example, did you know that one cannot be seen on the second tier from anywhere in the castle? It’s completely private, except from the other tiers, of course.”
“What useless information,” Bernie said. “Let’s go inside.”
Roderick presented one arm to each of them. They accepted and turned toward the house. Violet did her best to appear engrossed with the scenery so he wouldn’t talk to her. She had nothing to say to him. She could barely feel the cold on her face now that her cheeks burned with indignation and shame.
They returned inside and Roderick escorted them to the conservatory. Inside the castle was warm, with fires lit in every hearth and thick velvet curtains covering the windows. It was as though night had fallen already. Coming into the conservatory, the air was thick and the room crowded with tables and chairs. Most of the greenery had been pushed back against the walls. Rain hand begun to fall in rippling waves against the glass top of the conservatory. It would have been charming if Violet wasn’t clinging to her composure in Roderick’s presence.
“Bernie, I see Chester wants you. Hurry along now.” Roderick waved her away.
Chester was frowning at them but Bernie hesitated. “I shouldn’t leave Violet alone.”
“Yes, I can tell she’s had her feathers ruffled. I need to speak with her, be off.”
Bernie planted her feet. “Roderick James Andrews, I’ve seen you in in the buff as a wee boy—”
He cringed and covered her mouth with his hands, urging both back into an alcove of trees. They weren’t completely out of view but it was private. He snatched his hand away from Bernie’s mouth. “Ew, did you lick me?”
“Of course. I know how to get someone’s hand off my mouth. I have nine sisters.”
He rolled his eyes and cornered Violet. “You don’t look like a ravished woman.”
“That’s what I said!” Bernie gasped.
“I’m not telling you anything,” Violet said between clenched teeth.
“You don’t have to. I know what my brother can do with a woman, hell, he taught me everything I know. What I want to know is why he didn’t use his wiles to get on top of you.”
Violet folded her arms and clamped her mouth shut. Her cheeks felt hot enough to catch fire.
“You think he cares too much for her to use her like that?” Bernie squeezed in beside Roderick, looking between him and Violet.
Roderick nodded and stroked his chin. “But how do I make him admit it?”
Violet’s heart hammered. “He told me he didn’t remember me, but he told you differently. Why would he lie?”
“To keep himself from looking vulnerable,” Roderick said. “He’s a bit sensitive about his appearance if you haven’t guessed. He expects the worst of people, and he expects them to see the worst in him.”
“That’s terrible,” Violet said quietly.
“What are your intentions? Why were you invited here?”
“I…I don’t know, but I wasn’t about to refuse an invitation to see a man I’ve been infatuated with for five years.”
“Infatuated? Is that all?”
Violet didn’t answer.
“Let’s make a deal then. I’m going to court you, and we’ll see how much it irritates my brother.”
“I’ll do no such thing.”
Bernie pushed past Roderick to Violet’s side. “That’s asking too much of her. She loves him, she’s not going to help you hurt him.”
“Bernie!” Violet snapped.
Roderick raised his brows. “Love? Well, then. That raises the stakes a bit. It is hard to believe, though. If you haven’t seen him in five years, how is it you came to be in love with him?”
Violet folded her arms. “I don’t owe you or anyone else an explanation for my feelings.”
“Except you want my brother to return the affection, don’t you?”
Violet took a deep breath. She’d rather rip out her toenails than admit anything to Roderick, but she nodded.
“Excellent, we can help each other, Violet—may I call you Violet?”
She nodded again.
“Oh come now, you’re going to have to be braver than that if you want to win my brother. He is a merciless opponent.”
She ground her teeth. “Yes, you may use my given name.”
“Wonderful, now back to my plan. The more he sees me with you, the more driven he will be to claim you for himself. Isn’t that what you want?”
“Yes, but he doesn’t trust me. I don’t want to make him think worse of me.”
“You’ll never be able to earn his trust in what little time we have. He is dead set on leaving England as soon as I’m married. If you want him to stay, we need to appeal to his competitive nature. He’s already made it clear to me I am to keep away from you.”
“He has?” Violet felt a burst of hope.
Roderick nodded and looked over his shoulder. “He has, and it will drive him mad with jealousy to see us together, romantically.”
Violet’s stomach dropped to her feet. “What is it—exactly—you want me to do?”
“Be your lovely self, and I’ll play the part of lovesick swain.”
She didn’t like it. “I need to think about it. I’ve been pretending for so long, I don’t want to do it anymore, not with him.”
“Not even if it will help you win him?”
“I said I’d think about it.”
“We’re attracting a lot of attention, go away now.” Bernie dismissed him.
His lips curled into a smile. “Don’t take too long to decide.” He chucked Bernie under the chin and sauntered off.
“Why is it men always treat me like a little sister? For once, I’d like a man to try to take a liberty, or at least treat me like a woman, not a little girl.”
“It’s not as exciting as it looks, Bernie,” Violet said. She mulled over Roderick’s words. He was asking her to pretend to like him over his brother. Something she’d done throughout three seasons, and after each one, she’d come to the same conclusion. There was no other man for her but Weirick. She wasn’t sure she could pretend anymore. Bernie and Violet took their seats and tea was poured. Violet tried to steady her hands as she lifted her cup to her lips. Had she eaten this morning? She couldn’t remember, but her mind and body were in turmoil. Plates of cold chicken and tea sandwiches were served, and Violet attempted to eat something to calm her stomach. Weirick wasn’t present, and she wondered what he could possibly be doing. If he was determined to avoid her then it wouldn’t matter if Roderick paid court to her. Weirick wouldn’t see it, and perhaps he wouldn’t care. Maybe he’d decided Violet wasn’t worth the effort.
There was also this business of him lying about remembering her. Why would he lie? What did he hope to accomplish other than hurt her? It set off a wave of rage inside her. He was trying so hard to be difficult. It was as if he wanted to be the monster in the paper, hated, fearsome. When none of that was true. He was scarred, yes, but it was clear to Violet
his deepest wound was on the inside.
She set down her tea and sandwich, annoyed with herself and everyone around her. It was always the same endless, pointless chatter, but she had more important things to do. Find a duke and make him have a real conversation with her, about real things, like feelings and desires. In her mind, the seconds passed so easily, and she was no closer to figuring him out than she was before. She looked around the room, her gaze clashing with Roderick’s.
He raised a brow.
She set her tea and food aside and stood, wandering to a table of sweets and looking over them. She didn’t have to wait long for him to come to her side. She picked up a macaroon and took a bite. He did the same.
“Delicious,” he said.
“Where is your brother?”
“Probably in his study. Dukes have so much to do at any given time, unlike second sons.”
“Please excuse me, my lord.” Violet turned away but he grabbed her elbow. “I wouldn’t go charging in. You need to decide what you’re about, Violet. My way is the only way to make him do what we want.”
“I’m not one to manipulate people.”
“Of course you are, you’re a woman. It’s written in your bones.”
Violet pulled her arm out of his grip. “You are infuriating.”
“Yes. But I’m also the key to my brother. I, more than anyone else, know how to get under his skin. What is it about my plan you find so distasteful?”
Violet scoffed, “You, the lying, the manipulation, need I say more?”
“Fine, have it your way.” He turned his back on her. Violet went to her mother’s side and informed her that she wasn’t feeling well. She retired to her room, changing into a warmer gown of heavy cotton dyed her favorite shade of purple. It was the gown she wore when she wanted comfort. The simple construction made it easy for her to put on by herself. She stepped into it and pulled it up, slipping her arms in the sleeves and pulling on the ties in the back to tighten the gathered edge of the bodice. She tied it in a bow and looked at herself in the mirror. This dress was not made to impress, but she felt more like herself, and it was herself she wanted to put before Weirick. He would have her or he would not, but today Violet would draw the battle lines.