Once the room was empty, I got up and approached Frankenstein’s desk. He studied me with narrowed eyes.
“I do try to contribute, Mr. Franklin.” I forced myself to speak clearly. “I hope you won’t mark me down for not participating just because I don’t like discussing personal stuff.”
“You mean your mom? Well, I happen to be a golf fan.” He squinted as if looking into the sun. Hangover, I thought. Chili’s dad said he spent a lot of time at the bar across the street from the dealership. “She’s a celebrity, your mom. You should be proud of her.”
“I am proud,” I said, then went ahead with the little speech I’d hatched that morning. It was a complete lie, but I could sell Ms. Snider on the idea later if he agreed. “Ah, I’m writing a story for the school paper, and I’d like to interview you. So would you mind telling me when you were born?”
“You need my birth date for a story?” He might as well have said a stupid story.
“I thought it might be a different slant.”
He crossed his arms over his burly frame. “I know what you’re up to. You just want to know how old I am.”
What an egomaniac. I sighed. “You don’t have to tell me the year you were born. I just thought it might be fun to include your astrological sign in the article, that’s all.”
“That’s all you want? My birthday? Okay, then. It’s Cinco de Mayo. That’s all you’re getting out of me, though.”
“May fifth?” I’d learned that much in first-year Spanish.
He nodded. “That’s right.”
“Thanks.”
I had what I needed now. And soon I’d know the rest.
As I left his class, I saw Nathan coming from the cafeteria. Although the book said most Leos can be spotted by their thick manes, Nathan was bald. He’d shaved off his hair for a Kids and Cancer benefit.
He appeared to be trying to decide whether or not to speak. I remembered what the book said about Leos. Attention and flattery. I’d always preferred to remain quiet and analyze a situation before speaking up—Aquarius trait, I realized now. This time, I forced myself to smile.
“Hi, Nathan.”
“Hey.” He seemed to relax, no doubt relieved that I hadn’t started in on him about Geneva.
“Love the shaved head,” I told him. “You should keep it that way.”
“You really think so?”
I studied those eyes, almost turquoise, those lips that had pressed into mine after the dance. “For sure. It makes you stand out.”
“Oh, yeah?” His eyes narrowed, and I knew he was wondering if I was going to bring up Geneva. “You think I need to stand out?”
“Well, you mentioned that you were going to audition for the school play. Looking a little different might be a plus.”
“Let’s hope. Frankenstein’s directing, and I’m not exactly his favorite person.”
Just think, both of our destinies depended on one teacher. Even though it wasn’t that unusual in a school as small as ours, it still gave us something in common.
“He’s not liking anyone lately,” I said, in a voice more confident than I would ever be. “When it comes down to it, though, he’ll have to give you the part. There’s no one in school as talented as you are. Everyone knows that, even him.”
Heat flooded my cheeks. The blatant flattery made me feel like a total fake. Nathan seemed to bask in it, though, just as the book said.
“Well, thanks, Logan.”
Might as well go all out. “You could be an actor if you wanted to be,” I said. “Maybe even a star.”
“I’ve thought about it, but that would send my mom straight back to therapy.”
He grinned as if it were a joke, so I just smiled. “Well, let me know what happens with the play.”
“I’ll do that.” He leaned down, let his lips graze my ear. “Maybe give you a call this weekend?”
“Sure.” My cheeks had to be scarlet now. “Just remember what I said. You’ll get the part.”
I watched him walk away, astounded that I had mustered the nerve to pull off that encounter. Not to mention that it might actually have worked.
Chili stood across the corridor from me in leggings and a deep burgundy tunic, grinning. How long had she been there? She must have seen the whole thing.
I hurried over to her and knew that the victory must be plastered all over my face.
“Nathan looks kind of into you,” she whispered. “What did you do to him?”
I shook my head. “Don’t even ask,” I told her. “You’d never believe it.”
NOTES TO SELF
I’m trying to stay calm right now, but I must admit that after one day, I’m starting to like this zodiac stuff. No, that’s not true. I am hopelessly, passionately obsessed with it. When Nathan looked at me like that, I realized that I might just have something Geneva doesn’t. And if it works on Nathan, it just might work on Frankenstein too. His committee is in charge of picking the three fellowship finalists, and we’ll each submit a writing sample to the committee. On June 1, the winner will be announced. It’s going to come down to hard work, a lot of luck, and who knows? Maybe a little Fearless Astrology?
A MOMENT THAT CHANGED MY LIFE
Logan McRae
1st draft
I see a television screen, women swinging golf clubs into a sea of green. I’m very young, maybe five or so, barely old enough to understand that there is something wrong. My mother sits beside me on the sofa. Her body is rigid, and when I look up, I realize that tears are coming from her eyes. No sound, only tears. I want to make them stop, but I don’t know how. Her gaze and her pain are focused on those women on the screen.
“So unfair,” she whispers. “I’m better than all of them.”
As if remembering me, she says, “Sorry, sweetie,” pats my leg, and goes back to glaring at the television. I know then that she wants to be where those women are and not here with me. I may even guess that one day she will be. But I don’t say anything. Like her, I don’t make a sound.
There is no way I can turn this in to Frankenstein. Better try again.
A MOMENT THAT CHANGED MY LIFE
Logan McRae
Final draft
Many moments shape our lives. Only tragedy or amazing joy can change them. It is impossible to live without change. As Heraclitus wrote, “All is flux; nothing stays still.”
My grandmother’s generation was changed by the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy. My generation was changed by the events of September 11, 2001.
I learned from that tragedy how very rapidly life as we know it can spin out of control. Eric Hoffer wrote, “In times of change, learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”
I believe that change is less about what actually happens to us, and more about what we learn from it.
Darn. Why did the final draft sound so dead?
3
TAURUS (APRIL 20-21 TO MAY 20-21) IS STABLE, STUBBORN, AND SENSUOUS, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO THE APPRECIATION AND CONSUMPTION OF FOOD AND OTHER PLEASURES. HE IS THE GREAT BULL, USUALLY PLACID AND COMMITTED TO FAIRNESS, BUT WHEN TAUNTED, ANGRY, EVEN DANGEROUS.
—Fearless Astrology
Taurus. Sign of Bono, George Clooney, Miranda Cosgrove, and Malcolm X.
Frankenstein was a Taurus. With that broad chest of his, h e actually looked like a bull. Even though I was the only one at home, I locked myself in my room with the book. Why had Mr. Franklin become such an angry Bull lately? Maybe it had something to do with his divorce. I’d learned that tidbit from Paige, whose aunt worked in the school’s admin office.
Like it or not, he was the most important person in my life right now, equally as important as Nathan. No, even more than Nathan. With a top grade in his class and a written recommendation, I’d have a good chance of making the top three, and if my final writing sample was strong enough, I’d be spending the summer in Monterey’s creative writing program for
outstanding high school journalism students. How could I explain to him that this was the greatest dream of my life? It was what becoming a fashion designer was to Paige, what getting a degree in business was to Chili, and what being a golfer was to my mom.
I was willing to work hard and earn his respect. Would that be enough to appeal to the Taurus sense of fairness?
I kept reading. The Bull liked nature. He was attracted to wealth, food, and sensuous pursuits, which I was starting to figure out meant sex. Disgusting. I didn’t want to think of my English teacher that way. Maybe I’d go the food route. Would my gram’s cream cheese brownies qualify as sensuous? Would they get me the fellowship? Was this ridiculous? I was so desperate to try anything that I went shopping for chocolate chips.
The minute I got out of Chili’s car at school the next morning, I realized that the Gears of War had struck again.
SNIDER PUTS OUT was spray-painted in huge black letters across the window of the administration building. This was the worst act yet by the group of morons who’d been pulling stupid pranks for about a month now.
Chili gasped. “Can you believe it? They’re getting braver. Last time they just stole mailboxes and dumped them in the pool.”
As she spoke, two maintenance workers came around the corner with ladders.
“They’re a little late,” I said. “Everyone must have seen it.”
“Do you think she does?” Chili whispered.
“Ms. Snider, you mean? Put out?”
She nodded. “Right.”
“I don’t know,” I said, “but I’ll bet everyone in this school is asking themselves that question right now.”
At the end of Frankenstein’s class, I approached his desk, handed him a foil-wrapped package, and said, “I can’t eat my grandmother’s brownies because I have a dental exam coming up.” I didn’t mention that my gram was on a cruise to Alaska or that I had baked the brownies myself the night before.
“What’s this?” he roared before I could get out of the room.
“Dental exam,” I repeated.
“I never took you for an apple polisher, McRae.”
My face burned. Thank goodness everybody else had already left.
“I’m not,” I said. “I just didn’t know who else to give these to.”
“You sure you didn’t put anything in them?”
“Of course not.” My voice sounded as miserable as I felt. “It was a dumb idea. I’m sorry.” I reached out for the brownies.
He waved my hand away. “Not necessarily. I just wanted to be sure of your motives.”
“All right, then.” I got out of there before he could change his mind or ask me any more questions.
By the time I got to Snider’s journalism class, everyone was talking about the Gears and their latest victory.
Brooke Snider was the best-looking teacher in school, and probably the youngest. In spite of her turtlenecks and pantsuits, she was hot. Her hair, pulled up in the back, was parted in the middle with blond tendrils falling along each cheek. She wore light pink lipstick that was as close as you could get to gloss.
She was a fun teacher too, but not today. No, today I could tell that she was livid.
The room was arranged in six large tables, and the only one with a seat left was occupied by Charles Bellamy. I did not mind sitting with him, especially after what Frankenstein had put him through the day before. Besides, the table was the closest to the door, and I wanted to be as far away as possible from that look on Ms. Snider’s face.
Geneva sat in front, of course, surrounded by the girls who idolized her. They shamelessly tried to copy everything from the way she dressed—understated and neutral—to the way she talked—slow, low, and musical. It was the way I imagined girls who attended private school spoke. Geneva didn’t have friends; she had admirers. Kat, the manic cheerleader, was the only one who seemed to actually hang out with her.
A senior like Nathan, Geneva was almost his height, taller than most of the guys, but well proportioned. And none of the boys seemed to worry too much about looking up to her. She walked around as if the rest of the girls at school were to blame for not being born as beautiful as she was. And to make it worse, she was smart.
“Logan.” Her tone was sharp, and she motioned me to her desk.
I walked up slowly and hoped she didn’t think that I was involved in any of what had happened this morning.
“ Yes?”
“I understand you’re writing an article about Mr. Franklin,” she began, her voice low against the blanket of conversation behind us. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”
Busted. Why hadn’t I realized that teachers talked to each other? Even teachers as worlds apart as Snider and Frankenstein.
“I just kicked the idea around with him. I thought it might be interesting to do something from an astrological perspective. That’s all.”
She cocked her head, and I could see in her eyes that she was distracted. She must hate what was going on right now. “Do you know anything about astrology?”
“I’ve started studying it a little,” I said.
“So it wasn’t just a regular Feature Teacher article you were discussing with Mr. Franklin?” She looked relieved. “You do know, in either case, you’d have to get Geneva’s approval. She’s the editor, after all.”
“I understand,” I said. “I was thinking of maybe doing a series of astrological articles. If that’s all right with you, of course.”
“An astrology column?”
“It would just be for fun.” My brain finally kicked in. “I could call it ‘Star Crossed’ and feature a different Sun sign in every issue.”
She nodded, but I could see that her mind was still on the words written on the administration building.
“Sure, talk it over with Geneva, and we’ll see.” She paused then and looked more like her old self. “It’s good that you’re thinking of ways to improve the newspaper, Logan, but you shouldn’t have spoken with Mr. Franklin until you ran it past Geneva and me.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “We were talking, and it just kind of happened.”
“It’s fine, and your idea could be a workable one. I don’t mean to discourage you.”
“You could never discourage me.” The words poured out of me before I could stop them. “You’re a wonderful teacher.”
“Thank you.” Her bottom lip trembled. “You may take your seat now.”
On the way to the parking lot after history class that afternoon, I had a text message on my phone. And not just any text message either.
My fingers trembled as I texted back.
The reply asked:
“I don’t believe it.” My hands were shaking.
“What?” Chili demanded.
She and Paige moved closer. I looked up into their faces.
“I think Nathan just asked me out.”
They screamed and wrapped their arms around me. In the parking lot, Geneva stalked right past us as if we didn’t exist. Without her posse for once.
At that moment, all that mattered were those words on my phone. Nathan hadn’t even waited until the weekend to get in touch with me. Could the advice in the astrology book actually be working? ok, I texted back.
Okay being quite the understatement.
NOTES TO SELF
Can this be happening? I treat Nathan like a Leo and he asks me out? As much as I want to be skeptical, I’m just so excited. And if I can get him to notice me, there’s got to be a way to get Frankenstein on my side. Please let Frankenstein like the brownies and transfer the like to me. I went with Paige tonight to buy fabric for some costumes she’s making for the school play. She said that her aunt in the admin office told her Frankenstein was crushed by his divorce. That’s the word she used. Come to think of it, he kind of looks that way. I need to find a way to un-crush him if I’m going to be one of the finalists for the fellowship.
4
WHILE THE SUN REPRESENTS YOUR CONSCIOUS PURPOSE IN LIFE, THE MOON
IS THE KEY TO THE DEEPER EMOTIONAL SELF. IT’S WHERE YOUR SECRETS AND DESIRES LIVE. REVIEW THE CHART, THEN TAKE THE FOLLOWING TEST TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR MOON.
—Fearless Astrology
Moon sign Self-Test
Your Sun sign: Aquarius
Your Moon sign: Pisces
Most positive Moon aspect: Nurturing others.
Most hindering Moon aspect: Too shy about my own needs. I don’t know how to ask for what I want or express my feelings. Why?
How your Moon can help transform your life: Aquarius is a thinking sign; Pisces is a feeling sign. Maybe I need to do less thinking and more feeling. Maybe I shouldn’t be so scared to feel. Maybe I’m spending too much time taking this stupid test.
—Logan McRae
It was crazy to think that something as remote as the position of the moon could have an effect on my personality. I went to the chart in the back of the book and highlighted my birth year. I was born on the day before Valentine’s, which I already knew made me an Aquarius. That meant I had a Pisces Moon, which I hadn’t known. The description in the book seemed to fit, and most of the others didn’t. If my Moon were in Gemini, for instance, I would talk a lot more than I did, like Chili. If it were in Scorpio, I’d talk a lot less, crave more solitude. I needed to figure out Nathan’s Moon.
He checked in again after I got home from school.
That’s all he wrote, but it was enough. I really was getting a second chance at him.
The soft sunlight of the day had been blotted out by storm clouds, but I felt warm all over. I’d get through the journalism open house that night and count the minutes until Friday. I was not excited about the open house. It was probably going to be another Snider love fest about Geneva’s editorial ability.
Might as well get out the Juicy Couture coat my mom gave me for my birthday back in February, the last time she’d been home for more than a night or a weekend. Its elegant blue-and-gray pattern seemed to calm the wildness of my hair. I put it on over leggings and a long top. Not bad, I had to admit.
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