NOTES TO SELF
The next day I approached Snider about letting me give away weekly astrology readings, without mentioning our hidden agenda. In her calm, elegant way, she agreed, saying it would be fun and draw attention to my column. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it helped us win another award,” she said. “Three years in a row, Logan. Wouldn’t that be great?”
Everything is going my way. Now I just need to catch the Gears on Friday. If they are following me, they’ll think I’m out with Chili and Paige, especially if they see us at the coffee shop earlier. They won’t know that I’m really at school waiting for them with my camera phone. Can I pull it off? Can I show up at Java & Jazz with my friends, get in the car, change places with Calypso, and then make the Gears think my double is really me? I’ve got to try.
22
A NEW MOON IN ARIES SIGNALS SHORT TEMPERS AND RISK-TAKING. CERTAIN SIGNS, ESPECIALLY ARIES, WILL BE MORE AFFECTED THAN OTHERS. REGARDLESS OF YOUR SUN SIGN, BE READY FOR IMPULSIVE ACTIONS AND EMOTIONAL REACTIONS. PREPARE FOR THE NEW MOON IN ARIES, BY ALL MEANS, BUT DO NOT FEAR IT.
—Fearless Astrology
By Thursday I was ready for the Gears. Tomorrow night would be the new moon. In Aries. I knew we were already feeling the effects of it and was ready to take some risks. If I had my way, the Gears would be the ones experiencing some emotional reactions when they found themselves exposed.
Soon I’d know if I was one of the Monterey finalists. Frankenstein had been his version of nice to me since the night the Gears called my cell and broke Chili’s window. I even got an A minus on my lunch-with-a-character essay.
“Better,” he said when he handed the paper back to me that day. “At first, I thought using a kids book was a cop-out, but you made it work.”
“I tried,” I said. “I—”
“If you’re serious about Monterey, you’re going to have to hit the ground running.”
What was that jock metaphor supposed to mean? “I am serious,” I said. “I want it more than anything.”
“ Why?”
“ What?”
He took off his glasses and looked into my eyes. “Why do you want to go to Monterey this summer, McRae?”
“Because . . .” I couldn’t find the words. My mouth went dry. “Well, because I want to write, and I know I’ll be able to if I can get that fellowship.”
“What will it give you that you don’t have here?” he asked.
“Real writers,” I said. “The guest speakers have published newspaper and magazine articles, as well as books. And the other kids, well, they’re probably interested in the same things I am.”
“So you want to go so that you can learn from published writers and meet students with interests similar to your own?”
I felt as if I was taking some kind of quiz, and I probably was.
“More than that,” I said. “I want . . .”
The sound of voices in the back of the room rescued me from having to say more.
“Why don’t you try writing about it?” Frankenstein said. Then, in a lower voice, he added, “That’s not an assignment, McRae, just a suggestion.”
For some reason, I gushed, “Thank you.”
As I rushed out of the classroom, I saw Nathan with the two giants, Jared and J.T., talking by the water fountain. Nathan leaned against the wall as if waiting for me. Nathan waiting for me? Now that would be cool.
I stopped and looked back.
Nathan left his friends and walked over to me.
“Hey,” he said.
How could any guy this perfect light up when he saw me?
“Hi, Nathan.”
“Come with me.” He touched my elbow and guided me down the hall. “Let’s sit in my car for a minute. I’ve got something to ask you.”
Could this really be happening? Could Nathan be touching me in public for all, including Geneva, to see? Even if that touching was only on the sleeve of my jacket? Even if Geneva didn’t happen to pass by?
I had to remind myself to be cool, to keep breathing evenly. “Need to talk to you,” he said.
“Sure.”
I let him urge me around a corner, into the parking lot and the black Honda. So I might be late to Spanish. Mr. Macias was cool. I could probably get away with it.
Nathan climbed in the driver’s side. “Now,” he said. “Finally.”
I looked up at him, my heart pounding. “What?”
“I don’t mean to come off like a creep,” he said, “but I just have to know. Why can’t you see me tomorrow night?”
So that was it.
“I told you. It’s a birthday dinner for Paige.”
“Isn’t it a little late for that?” His blue eyes narrowed, and I knew somehow he’d figured out that I lied to him. “Birth dates are printed in the school newspaper, you know.”
“And you remembered Paige’s?”
“No.” Now he was the one with the flushed face. “I looked it up in the online archives.”
Looked it up? For me? I mattered that much?
“You thought I lied to you?” I attempted to sound shocked as I tried desperately to think of another lie to convince him that he was wrong about the first one.
“Your text message sounded different,” he said. “So, I decided to check it out and found out that her birthday was in March.”
“We didn’t have a chance to celebrate when we should have. Chili and I promised Paige we’d do it tomorrow.”
He seemed to relax. “And you aren’t making up all of this so that you can go out with some other guy?”
“Of course not,” I said.
“Logan, do you know how much I want to see you tomorrow?”
He was close enough to kiss and didn’t seem to care. I didn’t either. Could I possibly have a boyfriend?
“I want to see you too,” I said. “But I can’t desert my friends.”
“You’re a loyal person. That’s part of what I like about you.” He squeezed my hand again. “Just tell me when I can see you.”
“I already told you,” I said. “Saturday works for me if it works for you.”
“Cool.”
And right there, in what my gram would call broad daylight, he kissed the rest of whatever I was going to say right off my face.
“Nathan,” I gasped when he finally let go of me. “We’ll both be expelled if anyone sees us.”
He grinned and ran his fingers along my neck. I shivered.
“It would be worth it,” he said, “to get kicked out for kissing you.”
NOTES TO SELF
I’m curled up here in bed trying to keep from thinking about Nathan’s lips while I write an answer to Frankenstein’s question. Why is the summer fellowship so important to me? I’m glad it’s not an assignment because there’s no way I’d be able to figure out the reason if I thought he or anyone else was going to read what I wrote. I want the fellowship because although I suck at art and golf, I write pretty well. Not that it’s easy for me. It’s not. As far as I can figure, the most difficult part of writing is the thinking. The rest is just getting it down. So I guess I want the fellowship because, until I found the book, I felt as if I didn’t belong in this school, this city, and once in a while, even in my own house. I want the fellowship to show that I’m good enough to get it, that I do belong somewhere. Wow. I said it. Hope you’re happy, Frankenstein, wherever you are. Is that what you’ve been trying to pull out of me?
23
NEW MOONS OCCUR WHEN THE MOON IS BETWEEN THE EARTH AND THE SUN AND IS INVISIBLE. ALSO KNOWN AS THE DARK MOON, EACH ONE OFFERS DIFFERENT POSSIBILITIES AND CHALLENGES. LEARNING THE RHYTHMS OF THE MOON IS LIKE LEARNING TO SWIM IN THE SEA OF LIFE. THE SOONER YOU LEARN HOW, THE MORE NATURAL IT WILL FEEL.
—Fearless Astrology
It was time. Friday night. The new moon was here, and it was a good time for undercover work. The three of us put on our zodiac-friendly gemstones, and Calypso wore my gray beret and rust-colored scarf. I had to admit it looked better wra
pped around her unrealistic 36- 20-38 flexible form than it had around the real me.
Chili and Paige were dressed in jeans and cute tops. Chili’s was chocolate-brown cashmere with a V neck that showed off her matching tourmaline. Paige’s, a fluttery retro empire top of pink, turquoise, purple, and black, barely covered her slender belly.
“Look at you,” I said.
Paige blushed, then tapped the amethyst on her chest.
“Is that a Pucci top?” Chili asked.
“Only the fabric. I designed the pattern and made it myself.”
“You did? I should have known.”
Paige nodded and blinked behind her glasses. “It was actually pretty easy.”
“Look out, Hunter,” Chili said.
“I’m sure glad we’re celebrating my birthday there this time. Even though it’s not my birthday.”
I was wearing black top to bottom. Turtleneck. Jacket. Jeans. The plan was to show up at Java & Jazz and hang out. Then I would send Paige, Chili, and Calypso off to a drive-through fast-food place. It was the only way we could keep anyone from realizing that one of the three of us—I mean, them—wasn’t a real person.
I put on the hat and scarf, we stuffed Calypso into the backseat, and walked into the coffee place, making sure everyone noticed us, knowing the Gears were watching. I glanced to the front where Hunter usually stood. He wasn’t there.
“Just my luck,” Paige said.
“Let’s ask,” I suggested.
“Please don’t. He’ll know I like him.”
“Well, he has to find out at some point,” Chili whispered. “Hi,” she said to the new cute-but-clueless guy behind the counter. “Where’s Hunter?”
“Hunter who?” he asked.
So much for that. Whether Hunter quit, was fired, or simply had a day off was not our problem now. I’d been seen in Java & Jazz. We could all quietly leave and let Calypso take my place after they dropped me off at school.
Chili wasn’t satisfied.
“Hunter,” she repeated, and ran her hand along her arm as if pointing out imaginary tattoos.
“Oh, that dude.” He turned to the guy on the other side of the partition. “Where’s Hunter, the guy with the tats?”
“Out sick.” He grinned at us. “Sorry, girls. Shall I tell him you dropped by?”
“We’ll check back,” Chili said.
“Time to go,” I whispered.
Paige nearly knocked me down. “Let’s get out of here,” she muttered.
We got out, propped up Calypso, and put my beret and scarf on her. Then we drove around, with me ducked down in the backseat, just in case Gear members were still behind us.
“They won’t be,” Chili said. “Once they saw us at J&J, you know they took off.”
We drove around the school once. Paige looked behind us on the two-way street.
“Is everything okay?” I asked her.
“No one’s following us.”
“Are you sure you’re going to be all right?” Chili demanded. “If something happens before we get back, call me.”
“If I need to, I will. And you can’t stick around. They’ll recognize your car for sure.”
“All right, then,” Chili said. “We’ll be back in an hour. You can get up now. No one can see you.”
She pulled into the far corner of the school parking lot, far away from the few remaining cars. We stayed in the shadows.
“See you later,” I said.
I opened the car door and got out.
My first thought was that I wished I had the scarf I’d wrapped around Calypso’s skinny neck. The almost deserted parking lot was so eerie and silent that I wanted to chase down Chili and tell her I had changed my mind. Her car was creeping through the lot so slowly that I could have caught up with it and jumped back inside. Instead, I watched it coast away from me. I’d have to do this one by myself.
I stared up into the darkened sky, knowing that the Aries new moon was hiding as I was. Where do I start? I wondered again.
My skin tingled, and not just from the weather. I felt something was already happening here—or soon would be.
Although the corridors were lit at each end, I could hide by pressing myself up against the lockers and blending into the shadows. Regardless of how cold it was, I knew I could stick it out. One hour, Gears or no Gears.
Slowly, I made my way along the lockers, which were more frozen than I was. Something rustled in the trees. I shuddered. Stopped. Just the wind.
Misty light illuminated the corner I would have to turn in order to get to the administration office. That’s where the Gears had attacked before, and if they were the creatures of habit I believed they were, they’d attack again.
I got there, took a deep breath, and with my sleeve hiding my face, dashed around that corner. Whew. The administration office was only a hundred feet away.
Just then, I heard laughter. Male laughter. I’d found the Gears! No wonder they hadn’t followed Chili’s car. They’d gotten here ahead of me.
“Here’s the paint,” somebody said.
I yanked open my bag, pulled out my camera phone, and clicked it on.
“Quiet,” said a muffled voice. “Give me the flashlight.” They were a blur, like players on a football field. I had to get closer and moved down the hall along the lockers, hoping they were too busy to notice a small dark shape.
I had them.
Just then, someone yelled, “Shit. Look over there.”
A bright light washed over me. I tried to escape it, but I was totally out in the open. It blinded me, forced me to close my eyes. I put my hands to my face and tried to peer between my fingers.
Hazy shapes darted in front of me.
“Run!” a gruff voice shouted.
I couldn’t see them, but maybe my camera could. Heart pounding, I pointed it at the blur and snapped.
“What the hell?” Another male voice boomed from down the hall. “McRae, what is going on here?”
Frankenstein.
I rushed toward his voice.
“Are you okay?” He looked so angry that I was almost afraid to talk.
“The Gears,” I managed to get out, and pointed. “Let’s go after them.”
“You wait here. I mean it.”
He took off running, and I tried to catch my breath. I had been right about the Gears, right about tonight. If only Frankenstein could catch up with them.
He returned shortly. I took one look at his scowl and knew that he hadn’t had any luck.
“Come on,” he said. “I’ll wait with you in teacher parking until someone comes to take you home.”
“Chili and Paige are supposed to pick me up,” I told him. “As soon as I call them, they’ll be here.”
“I’m not leaving until they are.”
“What were you doing here so late?” I asked as we crossed the parking lot.
“Drama.”
He took the cover off his car. It was as, well, yellow as ever.
The moment I looked inside, however, I knew this vehicle was special. The white leather upholstery looked and smelled brand-new.
He seemed to be waiting for me to comment, so I said, “Cool car, Mr. Franklin.”
Yet this wasn’t just a perfect car. It was a lonely one. I got the distinct feeling that he was the only person who had ever sat in it. Poor Frankenstein.
“Tuck-and-roll upholstery,” he said, catching me eyeing it. “Now, tell me how you knew these idiots were coming back here.”
“You wouldn’t believe me.”
“You mean the astrology stuff?”
I nodded and turned back toward him. “There’s a way to figure out dangerous days. This is one of them.”
I stopped short of saying there’d be another one in less than two weeks.
“Those punks will be back again. You know that.”
“I’ll get them next time.”
“Not without me.” He stood next to the open driver’s door and said, “Logan, I’m not s
uggesting that I believe what you’re doing is at all sensible, but I don’t want you to do it by yourself. Next time, talk to me, will you? Don’t try to do it alone.”
It was the first time he’d offered to help.
The first time he’d ever called me Logan.
“All right,” I said, and looked at my watch. Chili would be here any moment. I hadn’t identified the Gears, but I had gotten Frankenstein more on my side. I could almost feel his loneliness.
“What is it?” he demanded, as if knowing I was thinking about him.
“Well,” I said, “I’ve been looking at some astrological profiles, and although I’m no expert, I think that you might be happier if you showed your soft side a little more often.”
His laugh was harsh. “Thanks for the tip. I’ll remember it the next time I’m chasing a bunch of punks in the middle of the night.”
“I’m serious, Mr. Franklin.” I winced as I heard myself say his name correctly. Thank goodness I hadn’t called him Frankenstein. “I know you have feelings for a certain person, and Taurus-Capricorn is a good match astrologically.”
“What are you talking about?” His eyes narrowed, but I went ahead anyway.
“All I’m trying to say is that the softer side of Taurus can appeal to a Capricorn. They are hard workers and it can be difficult for them to let down their guards.”
I stared back at him and felt as miserable as this car of his must feel. Why had I—a student who desperately needed his approval and respect—even dared to bring up the subject of his love life? It sure wasn’t getting me any closer to going to Monterey. But that’s not why I brought it up. I really wanted to help Frankenstein. How crazy was that?
“Well, McRae,” he finally said, “I’ll give that some thought.”
Back to my last name again. I deserved it. Yet he didn’t seem angry.
“I can tell you more when I do your chart,” I said.
“My chart? What are you talking about?”
“You heard about the free charts the journalism department is giving away, right?”
Aries Rising Page 12