by Kadie Scott
Having been on the receiving end of Taylor determined to do something, a small sliver of pity spiked through Ashley’s indignation. Still, she was tempted to whack him with the serving spoon for the eggs. Or whack herself for giving in too much.
“You understand you’ll be performing this dance in front of hundreds of your friends and family,” Ashley pointed out.
Understanding lit Eric’s eyes, and his expression softened, telegraphing that he got how unfair it would seem to her. “It’s for our wedding,” he said softly. “I can handle it for one time.” He covered Taylor’s hand with his.
Despite the apology in his gaze, Ashley doubted he would’ve agreed to it had he been marrying her. What I need is to stand up for myself more.
Taylor, oblivious to the thoughts swirling through Ashley’s mind, turned to her fiancé. “You’re good to me, you know that?”
Eric grinned. “Yup.”
Taylor leaned forward to kiss him, a natural gesture that she’d probably done a thousand times since they’d figured things out, except she stopped herself halfway to him, probably remembering who was in their audience this time.
Ashley was so tempted to let them not flaunt their relationship in front of her. That was obviously why they stopped. But the Band-Aid needed to get ripped off the wound so it could finally air out, and things needed to get back to normal.
“Don’t hold back for me,” she said.
Taylor peeked over her shoulder with a frown. “I don’t want to rub it in your face, Ash.”
There it was. The pity, the worry that she couldn’t handle this, the guilt. While she appreciated that her sister was sensitive to the situation—Taylor loved her—why couldn’t she see that all those things only made it worse for Ashley.
“I’m fine, Tay. No more awkward. Remember?”
To emphasize her point, she shoveled that bite of pancakes into her mouth. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught how Taylor leaned over to give Eric that kiss she’d held back. Suddenly, the strangest thought of doing the same, only with a blue-eyed cowboy who drove her crazy, popped into her head.
It had to be all those kisses. They’d scrambled her brains the same way her mother had scrambled the eggs.
“What’s the plan today?” she asked. She had to go to Jennings’s to look at his books, but could do that later, maybe.
The nostalgia of those words tugged at her heart, surprising her. How many times had she had this exact conversation with her family? Muscles she hadn’t even realized were strung tight loosened as familiarity settled around her like a campfire on a winter night.
“We’ll be in the south pasture,” Eric said.
Probably moving part of the herd, at a guess. She could practically hear the creak of her leather saddle and smell the distinctive scent of the cows. Getting her hands dirty sounded so good—
Her dad stuck his head into the room. “Let’s go.”
Taylor shoveled several bites of eggs into her mouth. “Be right there,” she mumbled around the food.
Ashley looked at her own barely touched plate, and then down at her PJs. “I was thinking I’d help—”
“That would be fantastic!” Taylor scraped her chair back as she stood.
Ashley smiled, anticipation zinging happily though her, and went to stand as well, but stilled at her sister’s next words.
“I was so worried about when I’d get the wedding favors finished. Do you think you could?”
The favors? That wasn’t what she was thinking. Before she could speak up, Taylor leaned down and wrapped her in a hug. “You’re the best.”
In a rush of gathering jackets, hats, and gloves and clearing their breakfast things, Eric, Taylor, and her dad left. The door slammed shut behind them, another familiar sound that caused her mother to tsk to herself, followed by silence.
And loneliness. A mountain of it this time, crushing her.
Of all the moments she’d been dreading for the months leading up to coming home for the wedding, this hadn’t been one. She hadn’t pictured being left behind while her family worked their land and animals without her.
Every one of those lost dreams—home and a family of her own—laughed in her face while she was left behind. She had a different life now. The thing was…she hadn’t thought beyond these past few years of finding a job and giving Taylor and Eric space to figure things out. The question was, what came next?
Her pancakes blurred as unwanted tears threatened to spill from her eyes.
Sucking in a quiet breath, Ashley breathed through it. No way was she crying because she got to stay home and be lazy today. That would be ridiculous.
“You’re on vacation, honey.” Her mother’s soft voice came from nearby. Damn. Her mom never missed a thing.
“I know.” Ashley tried for a sunny smile.
“They would’ve asked you to go if they’d known you wanted to.” Her mom pulled out a chair to sit beside her.
“It’s okay, Mom. I can be more help doing the favors. I didn’t bring anything to work a ranch in anyway.”
She was subjected to a long, searching stare. “Just so long as you stand up for yourself when you need to.”
Ashley frowned as her mother’s words echoed her own earlier thoughts. “I can stand up for myself.”
Linda Hughes squeezed her hand. “You do. Except when someone you love needs something.”
Her mother must’ve read her expression because she smiled. “It’s only a problem if it’s hurting you at the same time.”
Ashley covered her mother’s hand with her own. “I’m fine, Mom. I promise.”
After another searching look, her mother gave a little nod. “Good. That’s all I want, is for my girls to be happy. Both my girls.”
Happy might be pushing it, but she would be again, eventually. Maybe it was time for new dreams.
Her stomach chose that moment to growl loudly and they shared a chuckle. With a final sniff, Ashley tucked into her breakfast. Afterward, she helped her mother clean up the kitchen before wandering into the family room to find a tornado had come through the favors. Ashley shook her head. Taylor never could operate in an organized fashion.
An hour later, Ashley sat in front of the TV, working on the favors, still clad in her favorite red plaid flannel PJs despite the fact that breakfast had long since passed. In fact, a dribble of syrup from the pancakes remained on her flannel top. Oh, well.
With the house empty except Mom, Ashley felt no rush to dress. Instead, she lounged around, half-watching an old Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Christmas movie she’d always loved as a kid, while absentmindedly assembling.
Taylor had selected Christmas as her wedding theme—go figure. The favors were Mason jars filled with ingredients for peppermint hot chocolate, and Ashley had a terrific assembly line going. One requiring zero concentration, which gave her plenty of time to think. To her annoyance, her thoughts strayed to Jennings Hill and the deal she’d made with him last night.
What on earth had possessed her? Wanting to get under his skin as much as he got under hers, maybe. She didn’t want to think his touch had rattled her, because that would be…a problem. She had enough problems.
Maybe he’d say no. She’d told him to think about it and get back to her.
Lately, he’d popped up everywhere, and she’d been beating him back down, like a game of whack-a-mole. The man could make a preacher cuss—bidding on her date, which she couldn’t get mad about because he’d done it to help her, and then bringing up that kiss. He wasn’t talking about the kiss in the bar parking lot the other night, either. Jennings’s reference involved New Year’s and the worst moment of her life. She had tried so hard to forget too. Didn’t he realize she wouldn’t want to discuss it?
That New Year’s kiss had come right on the heels of her realization about her relationship with Eric, and Taylor and Eric’s connection.
After seeing them dancing, shock, along with a tumult of mixed up emotions, had driven Ashley outside, de
spite the snap in the winter air. Reluctant to return inside for a jacket—even given the strapless, flowing dress in powder blue she’d worn—she’d tucked herself into a dark corner of the wraparound porch attached to the sprawling community center, clenching her teeth against shock and shivers.
“You okay, Hughes?”
Jennings’s deep voice had feathered on the air, and, for once, his mere presence hadn’t irritated her.
Thanks to her discovery, she’d felt like the coyote in the cartoons with little Tweety Birds and stars circling her head as she sat in a dazed stupor. Thankfully, the tears hadn’t started, yet, but she had been sure they’d come.
Irritation should have been her reaction at Jennings finding her in this raw emotional state. After all, the guy had severed their friendship years before, then proceeded to spend those years bugging her about how Eric wasn’t the right guy for her, teasing her about still being with him. He’d made his disappointment clear about her choice to follow Eric to Texas A&M when she’d gotten into Rice. Finally, six months before, he’d really cut the ties after their blow-out fight concerning a proposal that hadn’t happened. Granted, so had she. They hadn’t spoken since.
But, right then, faced with a life-changing revelation about her choices and assumptions and plans, she’d appreciated Jennings’s steady presence. Odd.
“You were right. About Eric.” She hadn’t been able to keep the bitterness from her voice.
Jennings had crossed his arms over his broad chest. When had she started noticing how broad that chest had gotten anyway?
“What do you mean?”
His question had pulled her out of her head and she’d shrugged. “He’s not the man for me. Turns out…” She’d taken a shuddering breath, tears suddenly right there. “He’s the man for Taylor.”
Jennings had jerked, stunned shock written across his features in the moonlight, and Ashley had felt marginally better. The all-knowing, all-seeing Jennings Hill hadn’t picked up on it either. She hadn’t been a total moron then.
“He’s cheating on you?” Righteous anger had filled every syllable. “Where is he? I’ll kill him.” He’d turned to march back into the warmth and light of the party still happening inside.
Ashley had rushed forward to grab his arm, stop him, part of her strangely grateful that he’d bother to defend her. “No. I don’t think he even realizes the truth. I’m not sure either of them does. I could just…see it.” Her throat had constricted around the words and tears had burned the back of her eyes. Tears she had been determined not to shed in front of Jennings.
“Oh, honey.” He’d yanked her close, wrapping her in those big, strong arms, the heat of his body warming her chilled skin. The warmth of his caring had thawed her equally frozen insides.
He’d kissed the top of her head, and her heart had kicked up in an erratic rhythm. “I didn’t want to be right, you know. For your sake. If he made you happy.”
Rather than push him away, Ashley had laid her cheek against his chest and absorbed the comfort he offered. In a weird twist of fate, Jennings Hill happened to be the only person on the planet who understood.
With a gentle hand under her chin, he’d tipped her face up to his. “You’re going to be okay, Ashley Hughes. This is the start of the best years of your life, not the end. Do you hear me?”
The tears that had been threatening had spilled over, steaking down her cheeks in cold, wet rivulets, and her lips had wobbled as she tried to hold her reaction in.
Alarm had lit those shadowed blue eyes. “Don’t cry.”
If a hullabaloo of emotions hadn’t overwhelmed her, she might’ve laughed at the panic in his gaze. She’d cried in front of him only once before, when they were thirteen and she’d fallen out of a tree and broken her arm, and he’d reacted the same way, like a printer with a paper jam that brought it to a screeching halt. It had been funny to think of a big, capable man like Jennings being brought to his knees at the sight of a woman’s tears.
“Please, honey,” he’d begged.
Need—for comfort, for connection—had pulsed through her, and she’d quieted, her tears slowing as she’d stared at Jennings, taking in the strong line of his jaw shadowed with bristle, and firm but eminently kissable lips. When had Jennings Hill gotten so stinking sexy? With a hitch to her breath, she’d gone up on tiptoe and laid her lips over his. A quick peck, but her need had burned hotter even as she pulled back. Rather than release her, Jennings had wrapped his arms around her, holding her body against the lean power of his. After a long, unreadable stare, he’d groaned low and took her lips in the most profoundly gentle kiss she’d ever experienced.
Surprise had parted her lips, which he’d taken as an invitation—and maybe it had been unconsciously given—and he’d deepened the kiss. The man could seriously kiss too. In an instant, she’d moved from black despair to white fire in his arms. Every stroke of his tongue against hers, every sweet movement of his lips as they’d clung to her own, the spicy scent of his aftershave, the heat of his body. She hadn’t been able to get enough, wanting to climb into his lap and stay there forever as deep-seated longing bloomed in her chest.
A gasp of awareness and realization had hissed out of her, and Ashley had jerked back, startling Jennings enough to break his hold. She’d raised a trembling hand to her mouth, which still tingled from his kisses. What had she done?
God, she was an awful person. She hadn’t even broken things off with Eric yet. She shouldn’t have been kissing anyone, let alone Jennings. No matter how he’d harangued her, he hadn’t deserved to be used for comfort. Not that that had felt like comfort.
“Ashley—” He’d reached for her, but she’d backed up, shaking her head hard. Without another word, she’d fled.
The kiss had just gotten all lumped in and mixed up with the days, weeks, and months that came after.
Eventually, she’d made friends in Dallas and had built a new life—and the pain lessened—faster than anticipated. If anything, in quiet moments alone, her mind dwelled not on Eric, but on a certain New Year’s Eve kiss and the infuriating man who had held her that night.
“It’s for you.”
Ashley blinked away the memories to find her mother standing in front of her holding the house phone. “What?”
“It’s Jennings Hill,” her mother mouthed, a twinkle in her eye. She waved the phone in front of Ashley’s face.
Speak of the devil.
Ashley ignored the stomach-clenching sensation trying to overtake her, putting it down to surprise, because no way could it be anticipation. She set down a half-finished jar of hot chocolate ingredients and took the phone. “Hello?” Out of the corner of her eye, she made sure her mother left the room.
“Hi.” His deep voice sent a zing through her, which was even more irritating.
He didn’t go on, so she waited. He’d called her, therefore he could get to the point. The question was, would he agree to her terms or not? Did she want him to? At dinner the previous night, she’d told him to think about the deal she’d offered and get back to her.
“I guess I’ll get right to it.” Jennings cleared his throat. “I agree. I’ll be your boyfriend for a few weeks.”
Ashley wrinkled her nose, even as her heart faltered, then kicked into a new gear. “Good.”
“So, you’ll come over and look at my books?”
She had planned to go even if he’d said no. Fraud was a serious matter she wouldn’t wish on her worst enemy, including Jennings. But this was better. “No more teasing and stuff? I have your word?”
“I think you’ll be bored out of your mind, but yes. Scout’s honor.” She pictured him holding up the two-fingered salute. If memory served, he’d made Eagle Scout, so he would take the vow more seriously than most. Odd that she even remembered that about him.
She put a hand to her head and sighed. Why did this feel wrong and right all mixed up? “What time?”
“I’ll pick you up around noon.”
No way. It
was time for a new Ashley. One who stood up for herself and stood on her own two feet. “I know where you live, Hill.”
“I’ve recently moved into a new house on the family ranch.”
Huh. “Okay. How do I get there?”
He rattled off the directions.
She checked the clock. Noon gave her about forty-five minutes to shower, change, and drive over. “Okay. I’ll see you in a bit.” She hung up and sprinted upstairs.
Twenty minutes later, dressed in jeans, boots, and her favorite white sweater, which clung to her in a subtle, yet flattering way—and no, she wasn’t dressing for Jennings, she’d told her disgruntled reflection—she hustled downstairs.
“Mama?” she called out.
Her mother appeared in the kitchen doorway. “You’re going out to lunch with Jennings?”
“No. I’m going to check over his books. He thinks he has an accounting error.” She wouldn’t say fraud until she knew for sure.
Linda Hughes twisted her mouth in distaste. “That’s too bad. I hope you can help him with it.”
“I’m just being neighborly.” A blush warmed her cheeks. Shouldn’t she be hinting that they were dating? He’d agreed to the charade after all. But the words stuck in her throat.
Her mother crossed the room and took Ashley’s hand. “I’ve never said this, because I want my girls to make their own decisions in life, but I often wondered if Eric was right for you.”
Ashley’s mouth dropped open, but only a squeak emerged from her throat.
Her mother held up a hand. “He’s a decent man, and perfect for Taylor. She can handle him. Eric is helpful on the ranch, but it’s probably a good thing he won’t be running his own someday. I think the stress of the decisions would be too much for him, and, in the long run, he would’ve irritated you with his lack of initiative. You need someone more…ambitious, with broad shoulders to take on a lot of responsibility. Someone to do things for you, rather than let you do everything for him. Someone to work alongside you and keep up with you.”