Flicker

  “Because I'm an omnivore?” She asked when he seemed disinclined to continue.

  He shook his head, then paused. “Yes, but no-- he won't harm you for that. You are in danger because you matter to me.” He seemed to struggle with himself for a moment, then continued. “One of the things you have to understand about those of us who have lived so long is that over time, the normal human lifespan becomes negligible. They're like flies-- it doesn't matter if they die a little sooner than they might otherwise have, since they had such a short time to live anyway. Rashid and I, and many others like us, have done a great many terrible things in order to survive this long-- and I won't lie to you: if you want to live beyond your mortal years, you will inevitably do the same.”

  She looked down at his hand on the gearshift, and for a moment saw it red with blood and understood that it was his memory, not her imagination. Gazing up at his face, her lips set firmly, she responded. “So you're saying that he won't think twice about killing me just to hurt you.”

  He hesitated again, then glanced over to meet her eyes. “Just killing is the least of my worries.”

  Elise swallowed hard, a thousand possibilities rushing through her mind. She knew she wasn't concentrating well enough to conceal anything, and saw Alex's fists tighten again as she felt his pulse of rage. Swallowing her instant nausea, she forced herself to take a deep breath and bore down on her emotions, pulling them close and sealing them in. “So,” she said firmly, clenching her own hands in her skirts to keep them from shaking and betraying her. “What do we do about him?”

  The look that Alex shot her was full of gratitude and pride. “Whatever we need to.” He said, his voice sure. “I will make sure you're safe.”

  Alex took her straight home, assuring her that now that he was aware of Rashid's presence in the area, the other vampire wouldn't be able to hide himself well enough to sneak up on them again. Elise wasn't sure if that was true or not, but she chose to accept the comfort of his statement rather than question him.

  He came inside with her, suggesting they watch a movie so he could keep her company until her parents came home. She gave him a sad smile when he made the offer-- he had all but said in the car that if Rashid truly wanted to get to her, her parents would be nothing but collateral damage. Still, she definitely appreciated his presence-- the encounter had left her jumpy and shaken enough that she didn't want to be alone.

  They had intended to go have dinner at the little cafe in the botanical garden, so their abrupt departure left Elise leafing through takeout menus as the sun cast long shadows across her kitchen counter. The only sound in the room was the rustling of paper as she set discarded options aside; Alex was so quiet that every now and again, she glanced over just to make sure he was still there. Finally, she plopped down on the stool next to him, the menu for a local Chinese place clutched in her hand, and poked him in the arm.

  “What are you thinking about?” She asked, keeping her worry out of her voice. His eyes were dark, and when he turned to her she couldn't help but feel as if he didn't even see her at all.

  After a moment, he gave a slight, graceful shrug. “History I'd rather not mention,” he said softly. Elise bit her lip as his face tightened. Then he sighed, shook himself slightly, and glanced at the menu in her hand. “Chinese?” He inquired in a tone more similar to hers. She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

  “What's your stance on seafood?” She asked lightly, holding the pamphlet open so he could look it over, too.

  His smile was forced, but it was there. “As long as you aren't ordering vegetarian, I'll eat pretty much anything,” he chuckled. “I'm still a teenage boy at heart.”

  “Oh, don't worry,” she winked at him as she spun away to get her phone. “I'm an omnivore, remember?” Behind her, he snorted, but she was glad to sense some slight amusement emanating from his direction.

  Half an hour later, Elise was setting plates full of General Tso's shrimp and crunchy little crab wontons out on the coffee table in the den. Alex sat back on the couch, looking at ease, though she could still see a tightness around his eyes that hadn't been completely erased by their banter over which movie to watch. She took a deep breath, steadying herself, but her urge to ease his tension was greater than her lingering fear. Gathering her skirts, she slid onto the couch beside him, and before he could say anything, she nestled herself against his side.

  Elise realized immediately that this may not have been the best way to relax him, as she felt his entire body go rigid. “Elise,” he began, looking down at her with a frown.

  “Shh,” she whispered, reaching up to press a finger that only trembled slightly against his lips. The only times they had ever been this close, she had been nearly unconscious or in the midst of an emotional breakdown-- but she pushed those memories from her mind, focusing on the steady warmth of him against her side. “Movie time.” She laid her head against his shoulder, and a moment later, she felt his arm wrap tentatively around her.

  The familiar fanfare blared from the TV, and Elise thought that she ought to eat something. Right then, however, she didn't want to move. It was comfortable, she realized, to rest against Alex like this. She could feel his chest rise and fall, could hear the even beat of his heart. She nuzzled against him, cuddling up to his side, and in response he stroked her arm gently. A woman's deep, elegant voice began to narrate the movie, and the thought occurred to her that she could get used to this.

  “The world is changing...”

  Alexander had to applaud Elise's tactical thinking. He had been so shocked by her sudden decision to touch him that he'd almost pushed her away, grasping immediately that she was initiating the contact mainly in an attempt to soothe him. He was well aware that, try as he might to shield her from what was going on in his mind, she could tell he was upset over today's encounter; precisely how upset, however, he was doing his utmost to conceal. Within a few minutes, however, he found himself glad that he had waited, giving her a chance to push through her initial nervousness-- it had been worth worrying over her as he felt her begin to relax into their embrace without a breakdown to force her. Her decision to cuddle up against his side had been impeccably executed-- in making him worry over her reaction to more physical intimacy than they had ever engaged in, she'd managed to distract him from the past for a whole five minutes or so.

  Usually, he was able to compartmentalize the more unpleasant parts of his excessive centuries and keep his mind firmly rooted in the present. However, having Rashid sneak up on him had brought a few memories raging to the forefront, chief among them something he knew for a fact he didn't want to share with Elise-- one of the deeds he truly regretted: killing Rashid's younger brother. Alexander had always rationalized the action-- it had been a bloody, brutal war, and Bahir had been a soldier. Dying was what soldiers did best. But Alexander had never been able to decide to his own satisfaction whether or not he'd singled the boy out simply to torment his older brother, a man who even then had needled Alexander especially. No, that wasn't something that he ever wanted to have to explain to Elise. It wasn't that he thought she'd judge him for it-- he had witnessed firsthand Elise's own ruthlessness, and didn't think for a second that she would ever be hypocritical enough to cast stones at him. Rather, it was because her trust made him want to be a better person, the kind of person who didn't kill rookie soldiers to satisfy a grudge. Elise chose that precise moment to shift against his side, rubbing her head against his shoulder like a cat, and as the lilac scent of her shampoo invaded his senses, he was forcefully reminded of precisely why she was so very good at distracting him.

  He hated having to move her, but a few scenes into the movie it became clear that she was fully intending to cuddle him rather than eat anything. With a sigh, he lifted her chin with a fingertip, reveling in her tiny gasp and the sensual parting of her lips, as if she half-hoped that he would kiss her. Alexander briefly considered doing exactly that-- she was very, very tempting-- but he refused to push her
so far so quickly. Instead, he simply reminded her that they both needed food after the draining day. He regretting losing the warmth of her at his side-- she had felt so right in his arms that he almost felt bereft without her there, even after so little time. Still, such things were easily put aside with the knowledge that he was able to take care of her, even in small ways. Especially after her ordeals, she was so very independent and yet so fragile at the same time. The combination was intoxicating, he'd quickly found, but also incredibly frustrating.

  They didn't speak much as they ate, focusing instead on the movie-- or at least, Elise was. Alexander pretended to pay attention, but in truth, the fantasy battles playing out on the screen weren't going to cut it when it came to keeping the memories at bay. The scenes were simultaneously too sensationalized, with the orchestral backing and dramatic speeches making Alexander want to laugh, and too real, the cutting-edge special effects reminding him forcibly of real battlefields where real men were torn into bloody chunks of raw, screaming waste. Alexander clenched his jaw and breathed in sharply through his nose, forcing himself to smile when Elise looked up at him curiously. Despite the trauma she'd been through, she was still largely innocent; there was no reason she should have to be exposed to the things he'd seen-- and done.

  Bahir's tear-reddened eyes flashed through Alexander's mind, followed by the mess of blood and sand that caked in the ragged gash Alexander had ripped through the boy's belly as his brother watched from a helpless distance. Bile rose in Alexander's throat, and suddenly, the reek of American Chinese food was enough to choke him.

  “I'll be right back,” he murmured to Elise, rising gracefully and stepping over her, heading for the door to the left of the television, which led to a short hallway. He turned left into the powder room, ignoring the basement door to his right, but for just a moment, it crossed his mind to dash up the few steps ahead of him to the kitchen. He could be out the back door and on his way to the city to gorge himself on desperation and elation and everything in between before Elise even realized he was gone.

  But it was a fleeting thought; his days of running away from his problems were long behind him. Alexander looked into the bathroom mirror, meeting his own eyes harshly. The past was done; he was not the same man he'd been a hundred, four hundred, nine hundred years ago. He wasn't undead-- he was ever-renewing, capable of superhuman feats with merely a thought. What he'd done centuries ago non-withstanding, he was here and now; that was where he'd stay.

  The present, however, now involved Rashid. Alexander clenched his fist, fighting the sudden urge to break something. Regrets over centuries-old deaths aside, the presence of his old enemy filled him with a much less complicated emotion: rage. Pride alone would not allow him to run now, never mind that the idea of abandoning Elise to-- he cut the thought off immediately, before he could smash the bathroom mirror. He could feel his power beginning to billow out from him, pressure building in the tiny room as his pulse raced faster and faster. In the mirror, his eyes were pits of black ice. Unbidden, other faces flashed through his mind: Abasi, his young protégé, murdered by Rashid for no other reason than revenge; three sisters in Brazil whom Rashid had slaughtered before they could join the Court; an entire cell of Rashid's own cult, poisoned once Rashid had become convinced that they were betraying him. Keeping company with the dead on Rashid's personal tab was Xiu Xiang, Rashid's own mistress. The Queen had sent Alexander to kill both of them as they'd traveled to Russia with Rashid's cult, bent on some sort of treasonous coup.

  “Alex?” He heard Elise calling him faintly, from the next room. “Are you okay?” She sounded worried. It was no wonder she would, he realized belatedly-- he was so angry she could almost certainly feel it out in the den.

  Breathing deeply, he forced himself to bury his fury over Rashid's intrusion. This wasn't a matter of Elise noticing the magnitude of his feelings on the subject-- if he wasn't careful to contain this killing rage, the destruction he could cause would be irreparable. Even now, he could feel it pulling at his every thought, souring his current joy and uprooting the hard-won peace he'd found in the last few decades.

  Concealing regret over centuries-old deaths was one thing; swallowing this was ingesting an inferno. In the end, he managed to push his fury down and lock it away, but it was a short-term fix; a fire could only be held so long before it escaped, and in raging, would consume everything in its path. Alexander's expression in the mirror was steel as he evaluated the situation; he had to confront Rashid soon, or he wouldn't answer for the consequences.

  “Alex?” Elise called again, her voice coming from the hallway on the other side of the door. Of course-- he hadn't answered her, so she'd come to check on him.

  It still sometimes took him a moment to respond to the shortened version of his name. He'd told her to use it in a spur of the moment decision, wanting suddenly-- that sunny afternoon where she'd looked up at him openly for just a few precious seconds-- to be a different person, someone unburdened by the past. For just a moment, even suspecting what he already had about her, he'd imagined that they could be teenagers together, simple children with simple lives.

  “Yes,” Alexander called back as gently as he could. “I'll be right back; don't worry.” He splashed a handful of cold water on his face, but he didn't want to linger much longer-- not and leave Elise alone in the other room, fretting over him. Carefully composing his features into an expression that, if not pleasant, was at least calm, he made his way back into the den.

  When he came through the door, Elise looked up from her seat on the couch, a question in her eyes. In response, Alexander couldn't help but give her a small smile-- she looked so sincerely concerned for him.

  “Would you like any more?” Was all she said, as she indicated the food left on the table.

  If she had cooked it, Alexander would have forced more food down his throat if it killed him; takeout, however, he was allowed to pass on without guilt no matter how hopefully she looked at him. Normally, he didn't mind the occasional American approximation of Chinese food, but tonight, with the remnants of his rage still twisting his stomach, he knew with certainty that he'd had quite enough. She looked so sweet, however, playing hostess for all she was worth, that he would have had to be a monster to put it to her that way.

  “I'm full, but thank you,” he replied smoothly, unable to resist brushing his fingertips over her cheek as he passed her to resume his seat on the couch. Alexander relished the shiver that went through the air around her; it tasted of her desire for him, and came accompanied by the distinct impression that she'd gone weak at the knees, and was glad to be sitting down. His smile widened as he watched the blush that stained her cheeks. Neither of them was quite ready, emotionally, for any real sort of intimacy; this dancing around each other, however, was becoming more fun by the day.

  Alexander had scarcely hoped for a repeat of their earlier embrace upon his return, assuming and understanding that Elise would second-guess herself and retreat to a safe distance. When she came back from taking their plates to the kitchen, however, she made him glad he hadn't bet money on his prediction as, without a word, she cuddled up beneath his arm once more. His baser, more animalistic side reveled in having her there, primitive instincts insisting that the closer to him she was, the safer she would be. Once again unable to resist the impulse, he stroked a hand gently through her long, chestnut hair, enjoying the feel of it and the way the light played over the strands. She was infinitely more fascinating than the movie she was watching; such was his attention that it would have taken an earthquake to distract him from the moment that her breathing changed and her weight on his chest shifted. She had actually fallen asleep.

  It was then that he was truly amazed at her strength, and the growth she had undergone over the last few weeks. Her ability to trust anyone had been virtually erased over the past three years, and yet here she was, tiny and helpless and delicate, trusting him to watch over her. It was with an irresistible feeling of triumph that he pulled
a blanket over her, held her tightly to his side through the rest of the film, and greeted her parents with a smile when they peered into the room after their night out.

  8 NEW TO THE GAME

  Saturday morning, Elise woke up in her bed with a vague recollection of bidding Alex goodnight and stumbling upstairs sometime after midnight. She stretched, yawning widely, and looked at the clock. It was only nine-- her parents wouldn't be awake yet; they liked to take their time on weekend mornings. Elise felt energized, though, and hopped out of bed. A glance out the window told her it was likely to be a beautiful day: the bright October sun highlighted the fiery hues of the leaves, painting the world ablaze. Smiling, she padded down the hall to the bathroom. A quick shower was in order, she decided, and then she was going for a walk.

  After dressing and jotting a note to her parents, Elise all but dashed out the door. She and Alex hadn't made any plans for the day, and though she anticipated missing him after a few hours, the time to herself would be nice. She still wasn't quite used to the company of others, and it had been long enough since she'd taken time to just walk around by herself that she certainly missed that, too.

  Once she reached the park, Elise's pace slowed. She relished the sound of her skirts dragging through the fallen leaves, and tilted her head back to feel the warm sun on her skin. The sound of children's shrieks brought a smile to her face; after a pair of toddlers had run past her, their parents in close pursuit, she stretched her arms above her head and spun in a circle, eyes closed and skirts flaring around her legs, luxuriating in the natural world around her.

  A certain peacefulness blanketed her mind, and beneath it Elise felt a wisp of curiosity. Alex was decidedly a carnivore, had admitted to dealing with herbivores only briefly and rarely, and so his instruction for her had thus far been focused inwards, toward her own power, and on interacting with other people. Her experiment with the rose yesterday had been her first real try at consciously interacting with nature.