James didn’t want to cook anything because he was afraid the smell would bother Ellen, so he got out a box of cereal and after a couple bowls, knew there was something he had to do.
“Ellen, are you still awake?” James walked back to the couch.
“Yeah.”
“Um, if you’re feeling better in the morning, I’d, well, like to go to church with you.” He shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Are you serious this time?” Ellen sat up and looked at him.
“Yeah.”
“All right. I leave at nine-thirty.”
“I’ll be ready, unless I get a call again.”
“Okay.”
James woke up slowly, then remembered he was going to church for the first time in almost ten years. He found Ellen at the table with some apple juice and realized his own stomach felt unsettled. In a few hours, he’d be sitting in a pew, on display for anyone who wanted to see into his past and make expectations of what he should be.
He put some bread in the toaster, then turned to Ellen. “Are you any better this morning?”
“Much. These really help.” She held up her wrists to show him the bands. “Can you make me a piece of toast while you’re up?”
“Sure.”
“Do you want some coffee? I’ll start a pot if you want.”
“I think I’ll pass.”
“Since when do you skip coffee?” Ellen asked laughing.
“I just don’t want any this morning. The caffeine will probably make me jumpy.”
James put the first pieces of toast on a plate and handed it to Ellen, then made more for himself. Too soon it was time to get dressed for church. Ellen was already in her room getting dressed, so James quickly changed, then slipped the two gold bands into his shirt pocket and went to find her.
Ellen tried on a third shirt. She was wearing maternity pants now, and it was hard to find a shirt that didn’t at least suggest she was expecting. She heard James knock on the door as she took the shirt off and set it with the rest.
“Ellen?” He knocked again, then when she didn’t answer, shoved the door open.
“James! Get out!” Ellen was wearing dress pants but they didn’t help the fact she only had her bra on besides. She scrambled for a towel.
“I thought something might be wrong since you didn’t answer me,” James replied, as he turned his back to her. He plucked her bathrobe off her door and tossed it at her.
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you to respect a closed door?” Ellen said, still angry.
“Are you decent yet? I want to talk to you.”
“Fine.”
James turned around. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I...” How was she supposed to explain that she was trying to find something that made her look thin?
“You’re upset about something, aren’t you?” James came closer.
Ellen turned away again. “I’m, well...” Her voice choked up. “I don’t want everyone to know I’m pregnant yet.”
“Then why are we going?” James started to get angry again. “If church is like that, why don’t we just stay home and leave all those hypocrites to do their own thing?”
“I’m sorry James, I didn’t mean it that way. Here I am telling you to trust the people at my church then I realize I don’t trust them myself.” Ellen brushed a tear from her eye. “I can’t believe how pathetic I’m being. I’m wasting time trying to decide which shirt doesn’t make me look pregnant.”
“You really don’t.”
“I know, but...” She smoothed her hand over her bathrobe. “There’s just enough of a bump people are going to start to wonder. What if they find out I was pregnant before we got married?”
“Don’t tell them how long we’ve been married.”
“That’s lying, especially if they ask.” Ellen sniffed hard, then sat down on the bed. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” She looked at him, tears running down her cheeks. “The Bible says that sexual immorality is wrong and that’s what I did. I hope God can still love me.”
James couldn’t stand it anymore. “Com’ere.” James sat down beside her and took her in his arms. “We’ll figure it out. People who aren’t married have babies all the time, someday, church will just have to understand it’s the way it is.”
Ellen knew he was wrong, but didn’t want to argue. It felt too secure to be held by him, knowing that even though they barely got along, he’d do his best to protect her. She gave in to her tears and cried while he rocked her and stroked her hair. The fabric on his black collared shirt was soft against her face and his chest was hard underneath. Finally, she looked up. “I’m sorry I got you all wet.”
“It’s okay, I have other shirts,” he said smiling. “I have something for you.”
“What?”
James pushed her back a little and reached into his shirt pocket. “I figured that since we’re legally married, it might be time to look the part. If you don’t want to wear it yet, I’m okay with that, but I thought you should have this.” He held out a gold wedding band.
“Oh James. I’ll wear it, I really will.” She held out her hand and he slipped it on her finger. Then he handed her another similar ring and held out his hand. With a fresh burst of tears, she put the ring on his finger. “Thank you. This means a lot to me.”
“It means a lot to me too.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead, then picked up one of her shirts. “Wear this one, it looks nice.”
James left her to go change himself and she put the shirt on, then sat down on her bed and looked at her wedding band. Sometimes she wondered if James was serious about staying married to her, but it seemed he still was.
Chapter 8
“I think I’m going to throw up.” James whispered in her ear as she led him up the walk to the church.
“You’ll do no such thing. Pull yourself together,” Ellen hissed back. She’d driven because James didn’t know where the church was and she’d had to practically drag him from the car. She began to wonder if this was a good idea because he obviously didn’t want to be here. It was too late now, he was reaching out to open the door for her.
“Good morning Ellen.” The Pastor stood on the other side of the door with a stack of bulletins.
“Good morning Pastor Burke. This is my husband James.”
“Welcome James,” he said warmly, reaching out to shake his hand. “I’m glad you could make it today.”
They slipped into a pew halfway down the church. James acted as if he was fine, but Ellen could tell he was unsettled. She was surprised when they stood to sing the first hymn. James had a nice tenor voice. More surprising was the fact that he knew most of the songs with only a few glances at the hymnal they held between them.
James was surprised himself when he realized he remembered most of the songs. It had been a long time. Finally, they sat down and the Pastor got up to preach. James zoned out. Sitting in church was one thing, but listening to someone talk about stuff he didn’t care about was another. Ellen had to nudge him when it was time to sing the final hymn.
“You didn’t hear a bit of that did you?” Ellen asked angrily when they reached the car.
“Not much, no.” James admitted.
Ellen shook her head. “You could’ve tried.”
James held her gaze. “I will, someday. Sitting in church just brings back a lot of bad memories.” James slid into the passenger seat. “Do we have to talk about this?”
“I guess not.” Ellen sighed. “I just wish you’d care about God!”
“Why?”
“Oh, I don’t know.”
“Then just leave me alone and we’ll agree to disagree?”
“For now, but this discussion is not over.”
James didn’t realize how pale Ellen had gotten until they started to walk up to the front door of the house. He assumed she just needed some rest so he ignored it.
“Are you angry with me?”
Her voice was a little weak too.
/>
“No.” He reached into his pocket for his house keys.
“I just wondered.”
“It’s okay.” James unlocked the door and started to hold it open for her. Her face went white and her knees started to buckle. “Ellen!” James caught her just in time and lowered her to the porch floor.
“James, I don’t feel well.”
“No kidding. Did you eat this morning?”
“Not really.”
“Stay here, I’ll get you something sugary.” James stood up and headed for the fridge. He poured her a glass of juice and came back to the porch. Ellen was sitting up, still very pale. “Drink this, it should help.” James said, kneeling beside her and handing her the glass.
“Thank you,” Ellen said weakly.
“You’re welcome.” When she finished the juice, James took the glass, then put his arm around her and helped her to her feet. “Hopefully that’ll help you feel better. I’m going to make some lunch though and you’d better eat it.”
“I will.” Ellen agreed.
James took her to the kitchen and saw she was safe in a chair. “Aren’t you glad I was here?” James turned toward the counter. ”You could’ve had a pretty nasty fall if I hadn’t caught you.”
“Don’t rub it in. Now I feel embarrassed.”
James turned back to her, his gaze gentle. “Ellen, you don’t ever have to be embarrassed about something that happens between you and me.”
“I know.” Ellen studied her hand then looked back up at him. “Thank you James, for everything you did today.”
James smiled. “Gratitude? Well that must mean we’re getting somewhere.” James grinned at her. “You’re welcome Ellen.”
“I can’t believe how hot it is.” Ellen fanned herself with her hand. It was still early in the morning, but already, the sun was bright and the air was humid.
“Come down to the lake tonight and we’ll go for a swim.” James suggested, pouring himself a glass of juice.
“I don’t have a swimsuit that fits.” Ellen replied.
“You should get one. The lake is really nice on days like today.”
“I’d rather wait until I have the baby, then my old suit might fit again.”
James leaned against the counter and gave her a wry smile. “You could get a bikini, that would probably do the trick.”
Ellen blushed. “I will do no such thing. All the money in the world wouldn’t make me wear something so inappropriate!”
“I was just thinking that since this is a quiet bay, you might be more comfortable with something less restricting. For that matter, who says you have to wear a swim suit at all?” He smiled with satisfaction as the blush deepened.
“I’ll look for a swimsuit after work.”
“Good, I’d love it if you’d come swim with me sometime.” Once summer had come, James swam nearly every night, but so far, Ellen hadn’t joined him.
“I don’t swim that well.”
“We can remedy that.” James drained the last of his glass and set it in the sink. “I’ve gotta go, I’ll see you when you get home.”
True to her word, Ellen arrived home that afternoon with a shopping bag.
As was his custom, James donned his swimsuit and headed down to the lake, carrying a towel. Ellen had seemed sidetracked, so he hadn’t asked her to join him. Reaching the docks, he kicked off his flip flops and slid into the water. He dove down near the bottom, enjoying the refreshing cold water he’d been waiting for all day. With a few strong kicks, he returned to the surface, shook some of the water from his hair, then began to swim laps near the dock. He didn’t notice when Ellen crept down to the waterfront.
She’d put her swimsuit on, then wrapped a towel around her waist and ventured toward the water. The sight of James had stopped her short. She’d known he swam every night, but she’d underestimated how good he was. Long smooth strokes carried him back and forth near the dock and he didn’t notice her until he flipped over on his back and let himself float. Seeing her, he stood up, the water coming to his chest. “Hey, you did come.”
“I said I would.” Ellen sat on the edge of the dock and dipped her feet in the water. “Oh my, it’s cold.”
“No it isn’t. You’re just not used to it.” James swam up to her. “Com’on in, it’s great once you’re in.”
“I don’t know.” Ellen hesitated.
“Com’on.” James coaxed again. When she didn’t move, his hands landed on her waist and pulled her into the water.
Ellen gasped at the shock of the cold water while her hands landed on his shoulders.
James wrapped his arms around her waist. “See, it’s not so bad once you’re in.”
“Let me go James.”
“You sure you’re okay? If I let go of you, you might sink.” He let her drop a few inches and laughed when she grabbed onto him. “Easy, you can just stand up if you want.”
The water came almost to her chin, but her feet did touch the bottom.
“Com’on, catch me if you can.” He swam off like a fish.
Ellen did her best to follow him with a half hearted dog paddle, but she was no match for his strong strokes. She stopped and waited until he swam back to her.
“You need some swimming lessons.”
On an impulse, Ellen splashed water at him, then squealed when he returned a splash. It was a losing battle because he could swim faster than her, so she gave up and climbed back onto the dock, feeling cool and refreshed.
“You going to quit so soon?” James swung up beside her and shook the water from his hair.
“I’m cooled off now, and I’m really not much of a swimmer.”
“You’re not too bad.”
“Just not too good.” Ellen pushed her wet hair out of her face.
“You know I didn’t marry you expecting you to be a fish.”
“Yeah, but I guess I should try to get good at something you like so much.”
“It doesn’t make a big difference to me. Even you coming down here means a lot.” James put his arm around her when she shivered. “We should go back, you’re getting cold.”
“I’m not used to swimming this early in the year.”
“I suppose most people aren’t. Cold water just doesn’t bother me.” James reached for his towel, then stood up and dried off. Extending his hand, he waited for her to take it, then they walked back to the house.
Ellen was surprised James wasn’t up yet. Scooter rubbed against her legs as he laid down in front of the sink. She rubbed him a couple of times with her foot. Normally, she didn’t like having a dog in the house, but Scooter, though he was hyper sometimes, was well behaved.
She hadn’t ventured into James’s room when he was home since the fateful night that had changed her life, but she was worried. Crossing the house, she knocked gently on the door.
“Come in.” James’s voice sounded strained. Ellen pushed the door open.
“Are you okay?” He was still in bed and his face was pale.
“I don’t know. I have the worst pain of my life.”
“Where?”
“In my side and kinda in my back. Death seems good at the moment.” His breathing was shallow and she crossed the room to his bedside.
“Where’s your appendix?”
“Likely the same place yours is, how am I supposed to know?”
“I wonder if you have appendicitis.” She touched his forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”
“I know. I doubt it’s appendicitis, this pain is nowhere near my appendix.”
“I thought you didn’t know where it was?”
“I don’t know exactly, but I was trying to be funny. This isn’t my appendix.”
“Did you pull a muscle at training last night?”
“Are you kidding? This is not muscle pain.”
“I was just suggesting. Can I get you anything?”
“Maybe some water.”
“All right.” Ellen left and got James a glass of water. “Do you want
to go to the hospital?”
“Not now.” James sat up carefully and took a few sips of water.
“Do you want something to eat?”
“I already feel like I’m gonna throw up.”
“My cooking isn’t that bad.” Ellen snapped.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then think before you talk.” Ellen strode out of the room.
Two hours later, James wandered out of his room in his pyjama pants, only to collapse onto the couch.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?” Ellen asked, deciding not to hassle him about wandering around in his pyjamas.
“If you drive me, I’ll go.”
“Really?”
“This hurts Ellen. And I think I’m going to barf if it doesn’t go away soon.”
“You think you can get up and get dressed before we go?”
“Yeah, I guess.” James forced himself to his feet and went back into his room. The pain had shifted, but was still nearly unbearable. He found a pair of jeans and pulled them on and was slowly looking for a shirt when his stomach lurched and he knew he really was going to be sick.
Ellen waited outside the bathroom door, wishing she could help him. When he finally came out, she handed him a glass of water.
“Thanks.” He gave her a grateful look then walked back into the bathroom to rinse his mouth. “I want some Graval before we go.”
“Okay, go get some and I’ll find you a shirt.” Ellen said, heading for the laundry room. It wasn’t fair. She’d been in the healthcare profession long enough to see more than a few people throw up. Nobody was supposed to look that good right after.
“Ellen!” His near frantic yell came moments later.
“What?” She raced back to the kitchen.
“What did you do with my Graval?”
“Oh, right, I cleaned that cupboard last week and took all the outdated stuff to the pharmacy.” She handed him the t-shirt in her hand.
“There’s nothing left here.”
Married For Jeremy (Under Fire Book 1) Page 7