by Brandt Legg
“Nate, you must stop him,” Clastier began. “He is reckless and powerful, not a good combination.”
“I’m trying.”
“You are not. You are trying to convince him to join your cause. Dunaway will not listen to reason. Your only chance is to overpower him. Show him you are stronger.”
“Am I?”
“Strength is not about how much power you have. It is about how you use the power you have.”
Gogen pushed the two balloons zooming through the narrow gorge at a dizzying speed, still too far apart for Skyclimbing. I reached Amber on the astral.
“I’m scared,” she said. “Dunaway keeps telling me that I’m too pretty to die.”
“The bridge is just ahead. I think I can get you out.”
“What about Clastier?”
“I don’t think they’ll be time for both.”
“He’s more important.”
“No one is more important.”
The steel bridge spans more than 1200 feet across the canyon, which narrows like a funnel as it drops 600 feet to the river. The balloons were going to travel under it. There would be one chance to get Amber out. Using Gogen, I brought two large slabs of rock spinning out into the air between the balloons and Skyclimbed across them to Cedars’ balloon. Dunaway had Amber pinned to the floor of the basket and chased me up the side of the balloon. We reached the top at the same time. I leaped to the crisscrossing steel cantilever truss that supported the road above, running and leaping from beam to beam while Amber’s balloon passed under us. I Atomized up through the pavement onto the roadway. A truck sailed into me before I completely rematerialized; the force of the collision threw me out the backside and into one of the low steel railings. No permanent damage. Dunaway had gotten out of the balloon and ran toward me as I regained my feet.
Amber’s balloon emerged from under the bridge. Cedars escaped but she had stayed in the basket. I Skyclimbed to avoid Dunaway, while calling Amber over the astral.
“Why didn’t you get out?”
“There wasn’t time,” she said.
“But there was. How did Cedars get out?”
“I helped him.”
“Amber, Dunaway will kill you!”
“He only wants you dead,” she shot back.
Dunaway and I continued our Skyclimbing duel on the bridge as he artfully attempted to make me land in front of a speeding vehicle, which might have happened if they weren’t all slowing down for the view. When the purple balloon came out from underneath the bridge, I jumped onto the top of it, then Skyclimbed down into the basket with Clastier and Bark.
“Bark, keep us on the same level with the other balloon. I’ll steer,” I said, “We need to keep up with Amber’s balloon.”
“Why can’t she jump out of there?” Clastier asked.
“Amber can’t Skyclimb.”
67
Dunaway Skyclimbed along the east rim of the gorge. It was impossible to know if he was looking for an opportunity to jump into a balloon, waiting to attack, or just keeping tabs.
“I wouldn’t worry too much about your crazy friend over there,” Bark said. “I think we need to be more concerned with them.” He pointed to the parking lot on the west side of the gorge, where several truckloads of soldiers had arrived from the off-grid community of Greater World. I tried a TVC but it wouldn’t come together, even a regular Timefold wasn’t happening. I searched the east rim for Dunaway. Although he was invisible, I could sense his presence. He knew powers I didn’t. Somehow, he’d anticipated my moves and weakened those abilities.
“Amber,” I yelled. The balloons were nearly touching. “We’ve got to push faster.”
“Aren’t you getting resistance with Gogen?” she asked. “A balloon can only move so fast.”
“Bark, can you go higher?”
“Sure, but can she?”
“Amber, we’re going to –”
“Something’s holding us down,” Bark said.
It had to be Dunaway. He’d led me into a trap. The balloon could only be pushed to a certain point, even with Gogen; then it met resistance and now he had us under some kind of ceiling. The soldiers would be able to pick us off as if we were in a carnival shooting gallery.
“We can always do the old splash and dash,” Bark said.
“What’s that?”
“Down to the river.”
We’d still be in range but at least, if we made it to the water, we could get out and hide in the rocks or even float downstream in the rapids.
“We’ll have to do it quickly.”
“Tell the girl to open her vents to let the hot air out,” Bark said, as he did the same.
My heat-warning had been high ever since Dunaway first showed up but suddenly the temperature increased ten-fold. I looked toward the west rim and saw the soldiers setting up to fire a shoulder-mounted missile. I turned back to Amber; she’d seen it, too. We absorbed the desperation in each other’s eyes. Even if I maneuvered our balloon out of the way, they’d hit Amber’s. We dropped thirty feet. Amber suddenly pushed her balloon over mine.
“Amber, no!” I screamed. She positioned her balloon between mine and the soldiers. The missile came hissing toward us and in the final second, Amber dropped her balloon to make sure to take the impact.
The horror of seeing her basket explode into flames lasted only a second. We were all knocked down, then our balloon spiraled and dropped, stabilizing forty feet down. Amber’s burning body plummeted past us before smashing onto the rocks five hundred feet below.
Clastier threw himself on me. “She’s gone, she’s gone,” he said firmly, as he held me.
In my breathless shock, I couldn’t muster Gogen to push him off. “I can bring her back.”
“No. She was dead before the fall. The missile killed her.”
“No.”
“She died saving us, Nate. Amber died saving you, don’t let that be a waste.”
“They’re ready to launch another one,” Bark said in a shaky voice.
“Drop this thing,” Clastier yelled.
Bark opened the vents all the way. I pushed down and out with Gogen. An open ravine joined the gorge ahead on Dunaway’s side. I pushed with everything I had. The balloon hit the wall and burst; the basket plummeted thirty feet, hitting the edge of a ledge. I pulled Clastier out and Skyclimbed up into the ravine. Bark remained trapped on the ledge, but held on as the basket and balloon slipped off and disappeared into the gorge.
Clastier and I now had cover from the soldiers. The pause gave me the first real chance to assimilate Amber’s death. I felt her change, more than just the difference in the energy, an aching absence tore at my heart.
Clastier took over. “It won’t be long until they find us, Nate. Fortunately this area has not changed since my lifetime. Hurry, this way!”
I followed him, like a dying man running from gravediggers. Nothing made sense. My eyes trained on his legs and shoes, the blur of sagebrush and black volcanic rocks hinted at a world beyond Clastier’s path. He spoke occasionally as we ran but it might as well have been a new language invented that day. We climbed, ran, stumbled and jumped until suddenly he pushed me into a portal. I floated, lost for an indeterminate time, until he joined me again and we quickly exited into a similar landscape.
“Where are we?”
“Ghost Ranch.”
“Is Amber here?”
“There is a vortex here. That’s Chimney Rock; in the distance is the sacred Padernal, a volcanic mesa of some importance. Amber is here as much as she is everywhere.”
“Why are we here?”
“Sometimes the universe provides just what we need in many layers.” Clastier looked at me. I considered my soul in his eyes. There could be no one more soothing to be with at this tragic, gutting time than Clastier. The universe had done at least that much right. “We needed to escape,” he continued. “This portal was the closest . . . a happy coincidence, for as I said, there is a strong vortex here at Ghost R
anch and you need this energy.”
“Where’s Dunaway,” I said, gritting my teeth.
“Forget about Dunaway and the soldiers. They are not here. I hid the entrance to the portal. We may have time, we may not, but you need to let go of the idea of vengeance. Amber died knowingly because she believed in the Movement and your ability to lead it. She did not believe in vengeance. You know these things, they are true . . . and you have always known them.”
The sunlight caught my attention. I’d never seen the light play just that way. The red rocks seemed to pulse, chamisa and other desert plants whispered almost-words. I could feel the vortex. It brought me in touch with myself. Ghost Ranch was a healing place. My strength surfaced, and Amber’s death, although horrible and sad, suddenly seemed to be just another event that happened in this experience. I was stronger than before; each loss or triumph prepared me for the next.
Amber knew what she was doing; that brought a new wave of anger but also, love, and soon the love won out. There were things to do, and I could mourn and miss her later. I’d see her again, one way or another, anyway. Even if the soldiers didn’t find the portal, a tear could open any second and I’d be alone against an Omnia army. Clastier was safe but the Jadeo was still at risk and Dunaway may have been captured by the soldiers at the bridge. I’d done nothing to prevent the deal between him and Omnia, I might have even hastened it.
68
Not surprisingly, Clastier had no knowledge of where Dunaway might have hidden the Jadeo. I’d have to go back to Taos and try for the mountain portal again but first I needed to get Clastier to safety. He and Rose had been in touch and suggested a small dimension which so far had not been breached. It offered almost complete invisibility to 92426 and most other known dimensions and, as luck would have it, was only accessible from Pasius.
The dimension, named Star Sea Island, looked like the Big Island in Hawaii, except an ocean of stars surrounded it instead of water. Clastier planned to work on recreating the pages from his papers that had been lost. Before I left, he warned me against my intentions, but he knew me well enough to know I would not be swayed.
I walked across the campus, but before reaching her dorm, I saw her standing next to a tree talking to friends. I watched for a few moments. Seeing her laugh, looking so alive, it was wonderful . . . a wonderful torture. I thought back to when Amber picked me up in her VW convertible, that day she saved my sanity and first opened my eyes to the power of the soul. My memories took hold as I stared. She must have felt my presence because she turned and caught me looking at her. After excusing herself from the group, Amber-two walked over.
“Hi, Nate,” Amber-two said quietly, looking intently into my eyes. “She’s dead, isn’t she?”
I half-nodded. “How did you know?”
“She came, after you and Linh were here that time, and told me that if I saw you again, it would be because she had died.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s weird, I didn’t know her for more than a couple of hours but she was me . . . I knew her, just not everything about her life. So much of it was the same but most of it, like you, was slightly different.”
“Amber was the brightest person I’ve ever known. I don’t mean smart, even though she was smart. I mean she illuminated a dark room.”
“She loved you.”
“I loved her, too.”
“She said you loved Linh.”
“Yeah. But one thing I’ve learned through this is that there is nothing more powerful than love – it’s everything; it’s who we are. Love can’t be limited to one person any more than the universe could only have one star. Love is constantly expanding; there is plenty for everyone.”
“Why did you come here? To tell me she died?” Her face showed she knew the answer.
“I want you to come back with me.”
“To the land of fast food, fossil fuel, money and the military?”
“Is this dimension so perfect?”
“Perfect doesn’t exist in the human world but I think we’re a lot closer in Pasius.”
“The Movement needs you.”
Her skeptical look reminded me of Amber.
“I need you, I can’t do this without you. Please, Amber, come back with me. Help us change the world.”
“You want your Amber, Nate. I’m not really her. I know I look and sound like her but . . .”
“You are her! Don’t you see? You’re her soul.”
“Maybe so, but we’re a long way from dealing with each other on a soul level. Even if you defeat Omnia and the awakening begins in your dimension, it will be long after your lifetime that people are able to see soul to soul.”
“We don’t know that. And it doesn’t matter what the rest of the world is doing. I’m talking about you and me. Our souls can communicate. I can show you everything about her life. If you could feel her feelings you would want to come, I know it. Amber, please.” I grabbed her, hugged her and sobbed. She held me. It was Amber, her smell, the way her hands felt on my back. “Please,” I repeated.
“Nate, you have to know that our personalities are strangers. It’s not like you and Amber. If you understand that, then I will come, not for you, but for her, and because I understand that everyone in every dimension must find awareness and grow toward enlightenment . . . As Amber told me, ‘no one gets out of this alone.’ But I have another question. Does Linh know you’re here?”
“No.”
“Nate, when she sees us together, it’ll crush her.”
“Linh’s tougher than that.”
“Before we go, let’s talk to Yangchen.”
“Great idea.”
Yangchen’s office was incredibly sparse with blond wood floors, pale blue shelfless walls, and one large painting showing a field with thousands of flowers, each a different kind. Her desk had a holographic keypad and a shimmering air monitor – nothing else.
“Nate, is Spencer alive?” she asked alarmed.
“Yes. As far as I know. You recognize me.”
“Of course, I do, we’ve spent considerable time together.”
“But I died in this dimension when I was ten.”
“Oh yes, you do not know. I am the same Yangchen in both 92426 and Pasius. There is only one of me.”
“So you live and work in two different dimensions at the same time?”
“Rather a few more than that.”
“Wow. Does Spencer know?”
“Certainly. But if you are not here because of his death, then I am to presume we lost Amber.”
“Yes.”
“She saved you. Good girl.”
“I wish she hadn’t,” I said.
“Nonsense. She made the right choice; she’s known for a long time it would end this way. And you asked her to do it prior to this life, so don’t be silly. It was planned and agreed.”
“I’m so tired of the guilt I feel all the time,” I involuntarily inhaled deeply. “There’s so much of it.”
“Nate, listen to me. Guilt is fear. Don’t allow it. You are in charge of who you are. If you accept guilt you are simply inviting fear into your life. You don’t have time for fear.”
“I know.”
“Don’t know. Understand. Live your understanding.”
“He wants me to go back with him,” Amber said.
“Of course he does. Don’t you think that anyone who lost a loved one would go get a carbon copy of the person if they could?”
“It’s not just that,” I protested.
“It’s mostly that,” Yangchen said. “But the Movement would benefit, as long as it doesn’t break Linh’s heart. We need her, too.”
“I’ll talk to her,” I said.
“Dear Nate, please remember when you do to use your spiritual knowledge. Don’t rely merely on your emotions as a teenager, that’ll just make a mess of things.”
“I love Linh. I’ll do anything not to hurt her.”
Yangchen stared at me. “Yes, you love them both. B
ut remember where you’ve been. The choice has been made. Your soul made it a long time ago and, if you are present and consider your emotions in a mindful manner, you will know with certainty what that choice is. Only your personality gets confused. And remember one more thing . . . you loved Amber from 92426. This beautiful young woman in front of us is someone entirely different.”
69
Amber-two and I set a time to meet at the butterfly forest. First, I’d go back to New Mexico and make another attempt at the Taos Mountain portal. Before I left Pasius, I contacted Spencer on the astral; Booker would arrange for a helicopter to take me over the mountain. It had its own risks but it was the only avenue open at this point. Then I reached Linh.
“I felt her change,” Linh said before I could tell her. “Are you okay?”
“Yes. What about you?”
“I’ll miss her, but she knew this was coming.”
“Did she tell you?”
“Amber’s known for years, not the exact circumstances, just that it would happen. But she only told me at Outin. Then when we hugged goodbye, she told me I’d never see her again in this life.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You know I couldn’t,” she said, almost daring me to bring up her keeping secrets again. I decided against it.
“Linh, I went back to Pasius.”
“To find Amber?”
“Yes, but –”
“I’m not stupid. I knew you would.”
“The Movement needs her.”
“Didn’t you hear me? I’m not stupid. Nate, you need her, or rather you want her. You always have.”
“Linh, this isn’t the same Amber. Our Amber is dead.”
“I know that, Nate, but do you?”
“Linh, don’t you understand how I feel?”
“How can I, when you don’t even get it?”
“Please, Linh, I’m trying to pull myself together. Give me some time.”
“Time’s a funny thing, Nate!” She closed our connection.