I can see Philip visibly relax. He sits back and grins. Cole’s been trained well.
Just as I’m about to change the channel, a woman comes up and wraps her arm through Cole’s – a young woman with wavy blond hair, high cheekbones, a pert little nose, perfect smile, and legs that go on forever. I go through the rolodex of names and faces in my mind and land on Margot Robbie from the Wolf of Wall Street and Suicide Squad.
However, she introduces herself as Jamie Todeski with the American Cancer Society. And she wishes to thank all the men who graciously donate their valuable time toward the fight against breast cancer.
Holy shit. This isn’t some Hollywood starlet trying to get additional camera time. It’s the drop-dead gorgeous Stage Five Clinger and she’s got her claws wrapped firmly around Cole’s perfectly dressed arm.
Smiling right into the camera, she boasts, “This handsome man right here is going to help The American Cancer Society in their fight against breast cancer tonight. We’re expecting to raise quite a bit of money this evening. And to all those women considering on bidding on this hunk, I can tell you from first hand experience that he is, indeed, worth every penny.”
She looks up and winks at Cole.
And I want to reach through the screen, wrap my freshly manicured fingers around her tiny little neck, and squeeze.
The interviewer, Vittoria, senses a juicy story and digs for more information. She asks if they know each other well, stressing the word ‘well’ in a way that lets the viewers know exactly what she means.
“I don’t want to give away any secrets,” she answers coyly, “but Cole and I go way back to his days with the Charlotte Knights. I’d say I know him about as well as any woman can.”
Just as I’m about to look around the find something to throw at Philip’s widescreen television, my phone rings. It’s Cait.
“What?” I answer crossly, not even trying to hide my rising anger.
“Okay, you’re obviously watching. Did you know anything about this?”
“About what? That Cole’s auctioning himself off to the highest bidder or that he’s spending time with his beautiful ex-girlfriend who obviously still has a thing for him?”
“Both,” she answers.
“Just finding out now.”
“Well, let me remind you of a few things you may have forgotten. Cole doesn’t seem to like being chased. It’s one of the things that drew him to you in the first place. If he wanted to be with this skank, he’d still be with her.”
She’s right, of course. And it makes me feel better, but only fractionally. “Thanks, Cait. I needed to hear that. Do me one favor, please.”
“Sure, name it.”
“Call me back in an hour and tell me again, just in case I forget.”
We both laugh.
“Deal.”
Cait, Brie, and I stay up until well past midnight. The ACS is live Tweeting pictures from the auction and I can’t rest until I see who won a date with my boyfriend.
We watch as a whole array of women each take their turn to pose in front of the charity’s banner like an oddball prom picture with their date for the night. We even laugh a little, okay, maybe more than a little, when late night comedian Joey Griffin gets a date with a young man in a bowtie and a burgundy slim fitting sports jacket and matching pants.
I have no concerns about Cole’s ability to socialize with all sorts of people. He got along very well with my realtor Auggie and his boyfriend at Evan’s Fourth of July party. I just don’t think he’d be comfortable going out on a date with him.
I’m actually quite relieved when they send out the pic of Cole and his date for the night: an older lady with gray hair and kind eyes. She reminds me a little of Helen Mirren. I’m glad for him. Not because I don’t trust him, but because I know him well enough to know he’ll be able to relax and just be himself without worry.
Worrying is something we both know a lot about.
I watch with mixed emotions as they post pictures of happy guests and hospitable bachelors mixing and mingling. I’ll admit I feel a tinge of jealousy as I voyeuristically scroll through pictures of Cole flirting with other women.
But the stronger emotion that keeps surfacing is regret. It makes me feel bad that at least for now, this is our future together – Cole out in public playing bachelor and me hiding in the shadows, afraid to show myself.
When the late-night call finally comes in from Cole, I make it a short conversation. It’s clear that he’s calling not only because he wants to, but also because he needs to. His main concern is making sure that I have no confusion about his behavior at tonight’s event. Once that fear is laid to rest, he begins to ask me about my day. I decide tonight’s not the best time to share the news of my recent encounter. There’s still a lot of unanswered questions and it’s late. He’s got a game tomorrow and he needs to sleep. Once he gets home from his week-long string of away games, I’ll explain it all. Maybe I’ll even have some answers by then.
I wake up with a start at the ungodly hour of four-thirty in the morning. Something jolted me from my sleep. The only sound I hear is coming from Brie’s room where the shower is running as she gets an early start to her day.
There’s a heaviness in my chest that I can physically feel. My heart is beating a little faster and I feel a sense of discomfort that I cannot quite rationalize. I have no choice but to get up and do a cursory check of windows and doors, making sure that all are closed, locked, and secured.
I begin to relax, but only slightly, when I find no cause for alarm. Everything is as it should be – or so it would seem.
That leaves me with only one explanation. Stress. Fear. Anxiety. And maybe even a little paranoia. This feeling is familiar and it’s one that I have no desire to revisit. I have a bottle of Xanax that I was prescribed after my attack and I briefly consider popping it open and taking one. But after careful consideration, I decide against it.
Instead, I make myself a cup of coffee and do some soul-searching. It doesn’t take me long to identify more than one possible explanation for my nervousness.
The first thought that comes to mind is the last one that was with me before falling asleep, Cole. I ask myself the question that arose when we first started dating – how long will he be willing to put up with my life as a hermit? Will I ever be able to do the things with him that a normal girlfriend does? Eat in trendy restaurants? Go to see a Broadway show? Attend galas, grand openings, and red carpet events? Will I ever be able to attend one of his games?
Yes! The answer is yes, I will do all those things and more. But first, I decide I have to start to take my life back. And that can only happen when I get real about Paul.
Intellectually I know that for now he is safely behind bars where he cannot hurt me. I have a restraining order against him and if he violates it, even just a little, my big brother will throw his ass back in jail faster than you can say Orange Mocha Frappuccino.
But emotionally, there’s always that nagging fear that once free, Paul could get to me before anyone can do anything to stop him. After all, I don’t have bodyguards or a security team following me around twenty-four-seven.
So while Paul is still safely locked away in prison, I decide to do something I’ve been afraid to do. And I’m going to need a little help to make it happen. But if I can pull it off, it will be completely worth it.
The anxiety I had been feeling morphs into one of excitement and hope. With my newfound enthusiasm, I hop into the shower and then race off to work. If I want to be at Rush Dessert Bar when Juliette opens up at eleven o’clock, then I need to get an early start on my day.
How I got through the week without slipping any hints to Cole about my big plan is a mystery. He has called me every morning before leaving his hotel room and again each night before going to sleep. Somehow, we always seem to find something new to talk about.
Usually, at the end of a series of away games, the team gets a day or two off, but not this time. Today, Cole’s pla
ne lands at two in the afternoon and he has a make-up home game at seven. We make plans for him to drive straight to my house after the game. He has no idea that he won’t have to wait nearly that long.
Fortunately, since it’s a make-up game, there are suites available to rent. It was much easier to pull off than I had imagined. His cousin Evan was more than happy to use his influence to secure us a suite. Juliette helped me make the calls necessary to get all the McGuire boys together in the same place at the same time. This was no small feat, and I know Cole will be thrilled to see them all.
Evan reserved one of the Pavilion Suites down the third baseline, which should give us a perfect birds-eye view of the shortstop.
We have exactly two hours before the game starts. Juliette and Evan drove me here, and we are the first of our group to arrive. Despite being here with one of our area’s most recognizable faces, we make it from the parking lot to our suite without much attention.
Now that I’m here, I have to admit, the suite is not as grand as I had imagined. The room is large enough to hold a row of cabinets and countertops at one end and wall of windows at the other, lined with a small ledge and a row of barstools. In between, there are a few tables and leather club chairs filling the room. Just in case you forget where you are, each table has a giant Red Hawk painted beneath several layers of shellac, another Red Hawk permanently inscribed in the floor, and the walls are painted fire-engine red with black, gray, and white stripes on the bottom half of the wall. I feel like I’m in a ten-year-old boy’s bedroom.
The countertop is filled with typical baseball food like hotdogs, popcorn, and peanuts. They also have given us a taco bar, waffle fries, and an assortment of cookies for dessert. It’s nothing to write home about, but none of us are here for the food. We’re here to watch the game and cheer on our favorite rookie, Ole’ King Cole McGuire.
I hurry to the outdoor seats to watch the last few minutes of the home team’s pre-game practice. The stretching and warm-ups are done, and they are well into their fielding drills. In the outfield, players arrange themselves in groups of four for a nice, easy game of catch. They mostly practice fielding the routine ground ball. And every once in a while, I catch a glimpse of some spin plays, glove flips, throwing on the run, off-balance throws, jump throws, behind the back tosses, and other plays.
But it’s the infielders that garner my attention. That’s where Cole is and I watch with fascination and awe as they toss the ball from one base to another, clear across the entire infield, with little to no effort. They make it look so easy, moving with the grace and agility of a trained dancer in complete and total control of every muscle movement.
Seeing it here in the ballpark is a completely different experience from watching it on television. And I’m so glad I’m here to enjoy it.
Before practice ends, Juliette comes to drag me back inside. Of course, I’d much prefer to stay and watch Cole, but there will be plenty of time for that. The first of our guests have arrived. Cole’s oldest cousin, Reed, and his wife Paige are here. Reed is a Marine Corps Hornet pilot currently stationed in Patuxent River, Maryland. It was only a four-hour drive to get here and I’m overjoyed that they were willing to take the time to make the trip.
Juliette makes the introductions and I immediately see a strong family resemblance. All the McGuire men seem to be tall, well over six feet, with Reed inching out Evan, but only slightly. They both have the same chestnut hair, differing only in style. Evan prefers to wear his slightly shaggy, whereas Reed has the prerequisite tight haircut of a disciplined Marine.
The one thing I immediately notice are his eyes, an intense shade of blue like ice framed with thick long lashes. I’ve seen eyes like them before. It’s a family trait that both Evan and Cole were equally blessed with.
I reach out to shake Reed’s hand and he pulls me in for a hug. “It’s great to finally meet you,” he offers. “I’d like you to meet my wife, Paige.”
I turn to find a beautiful woman smiling beside her husband. Paige isn’t much older than me with long brown hair and big brown eyes. She has an infectious smile and the most perfect teeth I think I’ve ever seen in my life. She has a slight southern drawl and listening to her voice is enchanting. “Hi, Kensington. Thank you for inviting us.”
“Please, call me Kenny. Can I offer you a drink? Maybe a glass of wine? I imagine you might need it after such a long drive.”
“Oh, yes,” she answers. “Do you happen to know if there is any Pay-no Gray-shee-oh?”
I have to try very hard not to chuckle at her accent. I’ve never heard anyone pronounce Pinot Grigio quite like that before. This is a true southern girl with all the charm and presence one would expect.
But before I can spend any more time getting to know Paige, the door swings open and two more men enter the fray. I can tell by their crystal blue eyes that they, too, are McGuire boys. Hugh and Noah are here. Cole describes them as Irish twins, with only nine months separating them. These brothers are like two different sides of the same coin.
Hugh, the photographer, enters the room and all attention goes immediately to him. You can feel the charisma dripping off him like water from a faucet. His hair is unkempt, his chin is unshaved, and his arms are adorned with tattoos. He rocks the trademark McGuire traits and I imagine his dance card is always full.
Noah, the firefighter, seems to fade into the background. Tall, with a swimmer’s build, his jet-black hair is thick and cut well, the dark color in contrast to his startling crystal blue eyes. He focuses those eyes on me and I find myself snared in them. I immediately get a sense that he truly has no idea how strikingly handsome he is, perhaps because he’s been surrounded by such big personalities. I suspect that once Noah lets you into his circle, he opens up and shines brightly.
Man, if Brie and Cait were here, they would be in their glory. I wonder if I can find an opportunity to sneak a picture to send them without being overtly obvious.
While the boys catch up, I convince Paige and Juliette to join me back outside to enjoy the scenery. We are surrounded by a beautifully manicured baseball field dotted with gorgeous men in tight pants while rock and roll music fills the air. It’s magical, and that will always make baseball America's sport, America's favorite pastime.
So the three of us grab a glass of wine and slip back out onto the deck. Much to my dismay, the red uniforms are gone, and the men who sport them are no doubt comfortably relaxing in their locker room. Strange men with gray and navy uniforms brandishing the Milwaukee logo have taken the field. It’s fun to watch, but the thrill is not quite the same.
With the distraction removed, I’m able to chat with Juliette and Paige. I’m positively thrilled when I find out that Paige has a baby boy, Hawk, who’s just a few months older than Connor. She shares pictures of an adorable little boy with big fat cheeks and a winning smile.
I begin to imagine summer barbecues with Connor, Hawk, and Hartley running around the backyard. There are friends and family surrounding a pool, enjoying each other’s company for birthdays, anniversaries, and an assortment of holidays and celebrations.
Cole is there, too. He’s standing in front of a grill flipping burgers and hot dogs just like any good host would. He’s wearing some silly apron and taking leisurely sips from a cold beer as my big brother stands beside him, critiquing his skills.
As for me, I’m standing in the kitchen of my imagination, washing a few dishes and staring out the window appreciating the perfection of this moment.
Is this a glimpse into what can be my future? Or just a silly work of fiction that has about as much chance as becoming real as any of my other stories?
I wish I knew the answer.
“Kenny – did you hear me?” Juliette is staring at me, waiting for a response to a question I didn’t even hear. Damn mind wandering.
“Oh, no. Sorry. Say again.”
“Let’s go. He’s on his way. Adam just texted Evan and me. Cole will be here in five minutes. Time to surprise your ma
n!”
Paige turns to me and asks as we gather up our things, “How did y’all get him up here without spoiling the surprise?”
“He thinks he’s coming up to shake hands with some fans who are friends with the team manager,” I explain. “Players are asked to do that from time to time when they have an hour or so before the game starts.”
“So he has no idea?” she asks.
I grin as excitement courses through me. “Not a clue.”
CHAPTER 29
OUR SMALL GROUP GATHERS AROUND, eager to surprise the man of the hour. Time seems to be standing still as we wait.
Finally, the door swings open and in walks Cole looking heart-stoppingly handsome in his uniform. Something magical happens and my heart quickens a little at the sight of him. I mean, everyone knows men in uniforms are sexy, but this is off-the-charts wipe-the-drool-from-my-lips kind of hot.
In his tight-fitting uniform, I can appreciate the stark contrast between his trim waist and broad shoulders. His square jaw and strong cheekbones remind me of a Greek god, the living embodiment of statues that were built to praise this remarkable creation.
The boys all hurry to greet him with familiar claps on the back, handshakes, and hugs. But all I can do is stand there, stock still, with a stupid grin on my face from ear to ear. I am frozen to this spot, and at first Cole doesn’t even notice that I’m there. He’s so wrapped up in the thrill of seeing his family, he hasn’t had a chance to look around the room.
He turns to Adam, “Did you know about this?” he asks.
“Of course,” he answers. “But don’t thank me.”
Cole turns to Evan, “You?”
Evan shakes his head. “Nope.” He tips his chin in my direction.
And finally for the first time, Cole notices me standing there just waiting to be seen. Quick as a flash he’s on me, lifting me off my feet and holding me tightly against his chest. I throw my arms around his neck and lay my head on his broad shoulder and just breathe him in.
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