Missing Beats

by K. L. Shandwick

  Softly, his mouth trailed a sensual path as he explored my sweet spots; first gently on my neck, then with more pressure as he licked and nibbled at my skin as he tasted me. When his mouth reached my left nipple he engulfed it sucking forcefully. I gasped and moaned loudly when the sensation stole my breath and threw my head back enjoying the feeling. It was ecstasy, and my pussy clenched with need. In that moment I felt his hunger and wanton desire. I was more alive than I ever had been.

  “I can’t wait, I need to be inside you, Jo. Are you on the pill?”

  I shook my head no and he reached down, tugging his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. Pulling out a row of gold packaged condoms, he shook them out and tore one off, discarding the other five carelessly to the floor. Leaning back, I became mesmerized as he expertly rolled the thin see-through barrier down his shaft. I tried to ignore how many times he’d done that before to have been so adept at it. It wasn’t long before I was distracted from that thought when his fingers sunk between my legs and rubbed gently over the soaked thong I was wearing.

  “Fuck, you’re drenched, you smell so fucking sexy,” he groaned as his fingers slid under the edge of the tiny piece of material and basked in the wet heat of my slit. His hungry mouth found mine, our tongues tangling in a sensual kiss at first that kept my juices flowing. It became devouring when two thick fingers parted my outer lips and another slid along the wetness and breached into my entrance.

  Slowly, his finger moved in and out, like he was savoring the moment, memorizing the sensation of how much I wanted him. In one swift movement, he curled it upwards and probed deeper and faster with expert confidence. I moaned loudly with pleasure and he slowed the pace, while his other hand slid up and squeezed my breast. A softer, needy moan escaped my mouth and entered his before I broke the kiss, and allowed my head to rest on his shoulder.

  He kissed my neck, his breath heavy as he began nibbling on my shoulder. Drawing his finger back he slipped a second in, curling both upward anteriorly toward my G-spot. I almost lost my mind when his efforts went back to a slow tease as I neared the edge of a blissful release.

  “Please,” I whimpered, in a soft whisper while he snickered into my neck.

  “Since you begged me so nicely,” he chuckled softly as he began to move his hand again with a little more commitment. His fingers rubbed my nub and stretched my pussy in preparation for his girth. I was so turned on that I arched up and ground myself against his knuckles. Groaning into my neck he muttered, “You like that?” Already knowing the answer from how fast I’d been losing control.

  “Mmm,” I moaned, continuing to gyrate my hips in my effort to increase the speed. He pulled his fingers away and brought them up to my face, drawing them across my lips. The weight of his dark, sexy stare almost stopped my heart. His face was close, his breath becoming my air before he stuck one of his fingers into my mouth.

  “Can you taste that sweet pussy of yours? How fucking amazing is that? It’s like sweet syrup, baby. Fucking incredible,” he said, smiling salaciously then groaned as he pulled it out of my mouth and stuck all three of his fingers that he had inside of me, in his mouth. I watched him lick and suck at his fingers while his cock nudged and bounced against my belly in reaction to my taste.

  “Can’t wait,” he said, pulling my thong to the side and opening my legs wider. Lifting me into position against the tip of his cock he gripped both hips, his fingers digging into my flesh while he sunk himself quickly inside me. There was no teasing or the chance for either of us to catch our breath before he took me so fast from the moment he slid in up to the hilt. Despite the fact I was soaked it had still taken a moment or two to adjust to the size of him, but when I had, it was the most thrilling experience of my life.

  “Damn you are like no woman I’ve been with before,” he muttered and then grunted heavily as he rode me hard. In less than two minutes my whole body was fizzing with the sensation he’d built inside me. His hands wandering up and down my body then back to my butt as he lifted me on and off of him. He held me tightly anticipating the build. “Do it,” he said, before I felt the peak rising. My legs and hips quivered as he kept me on the edge while every single cell in my body lit up in a single connection that culminated in the most blinding orgasm of my life. I had no control over my body as it shook, the ripples of orgasmic waves taking over my nerve endings.

  I’d never known a man to read my body the way Kane seemed to be able to. When I came, one orgasm flowed and ebbed, but I barely had time to catch my breath before the next began to build. I was no longer in charge of my bodily functions. Kane Exeter controlled every fiber of my being. His musky, manly smell that mingled with his cologne invaded my nostrils. I relished in the heightening of all of my senses, the slight taste of whiskey and mint on his breath, the feel of his hands as they learned and teased all of the sensitive sweet spots on my skin, the sight of his eyes boring intimately into mine. There was an unspoken promise in the way he looked at me that said he was not only inside me, but all around me, his body, mind and soul knowing me inside and out—effortlessly. In that moment he had taken ownership of me.

  When he’d made me come for the third time he pulled out, stood and shuffled around. Placing me on the chair, he ran his fingers through his hair. I realized he had come at some point, but I had been in such a haze of my own that his orgasm was lost on me. “Damn, Jo.” He smiled salaciously again and shook his head.

  “Remember you started this.” Glancing down he pulled the condom off, tied it in a knot and unlaced his converse shoes before reaching down and pulling one off and then the other. Placing the used condom inside one of his shoes and not on the floor, he grabbed the other five as he stepped out of his jeans and tore another gold square off of the strip. My gaze fell to his cock and it was still as ridged as it had been before. In seconds Kane had rolled on another rubber and scooped me up off of the chair. Carrying me over to the kitchen counter he placed my bare ass on the cold, shiny granite and I screamed in shock.

  Leaning over he grabbed a knife from my cutting block and fear ran through me. It must have shown on my face because he scoffed, “Hey, no.” He gestured at the knife and continued, “I may get a little freakish between the sheets, Jo, but I’m not into S&M.” Sliding his finger under the string at the side of my thong he cut one side and then the other.

  When he pulled the small patch of silk out from beneath my legs, he cussed and squeezed the wet material tightly in his fist, raising it to his nose. He took the deepest breath I’d ever seen anyone take and I was sure he’d pass out before he had the chance to breathe out. I only realized I had been holding mine watching him when he raggedly exhaled. “Mmm,” he hummed. “Fucking amazing, babe.” His husky voice sent another thrill through me. Placing his closed hand on the granite still clutching my thong, he pushed my legs wide apart at the knees with one hand then dropped the thong and shifted his weight on both hands to hold us. His behavior since he’d sat me on the counter had me both turned on and shy that he was acting so scandalous. He reached over and gripped my thong again, clutching it tightly in his left hand as he dipped his head between my legs and peppered slow, leisurely kisses up my thighs.

  Adjusting, I arched my heat toward his mouth but he taunted me by ignoring the cues in my body. Just when I had about given up on my efforts, his mouth clamped over my pussy and sucked hard while his tongue delved deeply inside me. I swear I came inside a minute and cried out in a way I’d never done before. I heard it echo around the room but couldn’t be sure whether it was that or Kane’s groans of appreciation that were the loudest.

  Chapter 16

  Intimacy

  Stepping back from me, Kane wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and grinned in a way that had my whole being and every sense alight again in seconds. I was exhausted but elated at the same time. Wrapping his hand around his cock he stroked it up and down as he came closer again. Carefully, he lifted my legs and rested my calves on his hips. I felt
the tip of his cock being drawn down along my slit. As soon as he reached my entrance, he leaned over me, his forearms caging my head in as he dropped his forehead onto mine.

  The intimacy in the way he seemed to see my soul as he slid slowly inside will be etched deep in my mind forever. When he’d taken me in that unhurried way, deliberately watching my reaction, a wave of emotion washed over me that became overwhelming. Without warning my throat closed in protest at the nearness. When he swept my hair tenderly from my eyes with his thumbs it was more than I could bear. Tears pricked my eyes and his face softened.

  “Shh. Don’t cry. It’s beautiful, Josie. Can you feel this connection between us?” He wasn’t expecting a reply from how quickly his mouth covered mine. I was glad because I didn’t want to admit that I could. That would have meant I’d have to deal with him leaving because of his work and all the reasons I’d been putting up a fight not to fall for him. And I knew I had anyway.

  When he broke the kiss, another soft, intimate smile curved his luscious lips as he looked down at me from above. Rocking into me slowly, he dipped his head and peppered small kisses in a heated trail down my neck and collar bone. My warm skin was alive with goosebumps. The tingling sensation just under my skin from how his touch commanded my body to respond was insane.

  I became lost in my desire until he pulled back from me changing position. The warmth that had been radiating between his body and mine was an instant loss. I shivered with the change of air over my damp skin and when he saw this, his hands reached up just under my armpits and he dragged his nails gently down both sides, sending ripples of ecstasy from my toes to my scalp.

  Kane continued to love me tenderly for the following hour, whispering how much he had missed me during that past week, how difficult it had been for him to get me out of his head, and how insanely jealous he’d felt when I had said I chose Elliott. At that point he stopped and stared at me meaningfully then asked, “That was bullshit, right? He was the safe bet?” Until Kane said it I hadn’t realized that’s exactly what Elliott was after being with Kane, but I thought trying to be with Kane I’d be setting myself up for a future of heartbreak and jealousy.

  I could be sassy when I wanted to be, and I was no pushover, but the taste of being around those groupies at his concert made me even more certain that the constant challenges to our relationship, if we had one, would get old quickly, and no matter how much I felt for Kane, I knew I couldn’t tolerate living like that day after day.

  Chapter 17

  Run away

  Waking the following morning wasn’t nearly as awkward as I had imagined it might be. Kane was still asleep and I lay facing him, memorizing all of the finer details on his beautiful face. The rate of his deep, steady breaths were only around ten a minute. Before long watching him wasn’t enough and I had to reach out and place my hand lightly on his hard belly. Still deep in sleep he moaned slightly and shifted on the bed, my heart thudded rapidly as I took the opportunity to explore the rippling contours of his incredible defined torso with my shaking fingertips.

  “Yeah, I’ll run away with you. That’s what you just wrote there, isn’t it?”

  My hand stilled immediately and my heart rate raced at the sound of his voice. I glanced up to see him looking directly into my eyes with a sleepy smile on his face. Damn he’s beautiful first thing in the morning. I was busted checking him out like I was stroking some luxurious satin material in a store. “You wish,” I teased, giggling because there was no point in even trying to deny what I’d been doing. Kane Exeter probably got that reaction from women a lot. Who was I kidding, by now it was such a regular occurrence he probably expected women to do it, either as foreplay or aftercare.

  “I do.” And right at that moment I wished I was one of those free spirited girls who could just surrender to what they felt and just run with the experience. I could never let Kane know that’s how I felt because he had been extremely persuasive as a child, and if I had learned anything from the short amount of time with him, Kane the adult was lethal. If I had shown even an inkling of interest in his suggestion, I knew that I’d have been on his tour bus, and to everyone looking on I’d have been regarded as flavor of the week in Hedon1sm’s groupie harem by the month’s end.

  Turning on his side to face me, he sighed heavily and reached out to stroke his fingers lightly over my shoulder. “Am I going to be disappointed, Jo?”

  Glancing at his face made my heart ache, my heart said no, but in the cold light of day, my head was calling the shots. “Sorry.”

  Kane stared at me for the longest time. “So we’re just friends and you don’t want more, except that you definitely didn’t behave like someone who wanted to keep things platonic last night.”

  “Don’t. Please…” I placed my fingertips over his lips and he instantly kissed them. My heart squeezed and splintered inside my chest because I was denying what it really wanted. “It’s better this way. We can be friends for the rest of our lives, Kane. I was weak both times we’ve had sex, but this…thing between us…is infatuation and lust. If we continue down this road, it’ll end in an acrimonious shit-storm.”

  “As new as this is…what we’re doing here…I fucking know this is more than you’re willing to admit to, babe.”

  “That’s not it at all. I’ll admit you make me feel…wanted…desired, and sexy. Definitely sexy. You’ll never know how much that flatters me, and tears my heart apart at the same time, Kane. But when I look at your lifestyle I just know instinctively that I’d hate it. My life has revolved around rules and boundaries, barriers and doing the right thing. It’s what’s made me the way I am. You’d be happy but I wouldn’t. Our lives as adults are so far apart that I know we could never meet in the middle. I wish I was the kind of girl that acted without caution, but I’m not. Josephine Carmichael from Germany, is long gone; I learned about risk and consequence long ago.”

  Kane shook his head and I read the sad disappointment on his face. I knew he thought I was simply the type to just give up without trying, but that wasn’t it at all. What I was doing by denying the urge in that moment took every ounce of strength in me. Taking the hard decision to protect my feelings and our friendship for the future may have seemed boring but one of us had to keep our feet on the ground.

  “Maybe our lives turned out differently, Jo, but deep down we’re still the same people we were when we were kids.”

  “No, I don’t believe that. Circumstances and experiences shape us; it robs the innocence and replaces it with the stark realities of life.”

  “Well aren’t you a bag of delights? What the fuck, Jo? You’re twenty-two years old. For fuck’s sake, live a little.”

  “I was trying to do that when you bulldozed your way back into my life.”

  “And you resent me for fucking up your mundane relationship with that lanky asshole who wanted to publicly humiliate you? Looked like I got there just in time if you ask me.” Kane threw back the comforter and stood up by the side of the bed. “Believe it or not, Jo, I really like you. Put it this way, I’ve never flown across the country to try and build something with a chick before, but I hear you. We’re friends until the next time we meet up and fuck each other’s brains out while you deny what it means to you. I’m gonna get a shower, then I’ll catch a flight to New York. Some of the guys are up there for a couple of days. I may as well go party with them since you only want to be friends. My downtime is precious these days.”

  Suddenly I felt horrible and Kane looked hurt as he tore his eyes away and walked into my bathroom banging the door so hard, I jumped. Grabbing a clean T-shirt and some yoga pants I pulled them on quickly and went out into the sitting room, leaving him to shower.

  My cell was lying on the table and I swiped it off there and switched the display on to see the time. My mom, Jacob and Matt had all called me, but I had a rare Monday off work and we were going to lunch to celebrate my dad’s fiftieth birthday, so I knew why they were calling. However, Candic
e had tried to call me five times. She either wanted the low down on the night before or something was wrong. I hesitated on whether to call her back, but I knew she’d only keep trying. I figured the best way to placate her would be to confirm that Kane was still with me and tell her I’d call her later.

  Candice’s phone barely rang once before she answered. “Holy Christ, Josie, have you seen the news? You are all over it. Elliott has sold the story about you cheating on him with Kane.” I didn’t reply and stared into my room in a dream-like state thinking I’d imagined what she said. “Are you still there, Josie?”

  Nodding slowly, my mind was blank. I had nothing to say and I realized there were tears running down my face. “Do you want me to come over?” Candice asked when I hadn’t answered. Still I said nothing, too shocked to form a response. “Right, I’ll be there in ten. I still have an hour before I have to be at work,” she stated, as I wandered absent-mindedly into the sitting room.

  Call me a coward, but I couldn’t begin to think what people thought of me. I shouldn’t have cared anyway. But I did. Everyone would know how weak and cheap I was sleeping with a rock star. Slowly, I sat on the sofa and stared out of my window, the grey December weather, with its relentless drizzly rain and dark menacing clouds, fully reflected my mood. How do you recover from the scrutiny of a bunch of horrible bloodthirsty gossip journalists? There were no thoughts in my head as I sat there for several minutes just absorbing how stupid I’d been.

  Hearing the door creak from my bedroom, my head turned automatically at the sound to see Kane walking through it, fresh from the shower. He was fully dressed, and already wearing his jacket as if he were ready to leave.

  “Fuck, I forgot about that,” he said, gesturing his head at the cabinet and my busted door. Turning to look at me he stopped exactly where he was as his foot faltered while he assessed the scene of my crying before he rushed over and crouched down beside me. “What’s the matter? Why are you crying?”