“Our plan is going to fail at the end of ten-days, whether she is willing or not!” Evelyn told him. “I want her gone from Talwar. She’s ruining everything!”
“Is she?” her father replied with interest. “You told me at our last meeting that you had matters well in hand, and that Sir Justin was nearly at your feet and ready to do your bidding. Has that changed, so soon? Have you not yet managed to take the man into your bed?”
“Only because of Isabelle,” Evelyn said tightly. “Justin is too honorable a man to consummate his love for me while he is yet married to another. But he has set Isabelle aside, and has not visited her bed this past month, nor done so much as to touch her. ’Tis only me he wants now.”
“If that is so,” Sir Myles commented calmly, “then why does he send you away?”
“Justin wants me to be rid of the child he believes I carry, and needs time to rid himself of Isabelle. He has not said it openly, for he is too kindhearted, but he is planning to send for me when the time is right and all is well, so that we may be man and wife, as it was meant for us.”
Sir Myles gazed at his daughter doubtfully, but Evelyn went on. “Can you not see, Father? If you take Isabelle out of the way now, then I can tell him the truth, all of it, that there is no child, and that I am willing to be his wife in every way. Once he knows that there are no barriers between us, he will let me stay at Talwar.”
“You do not think he will be angered to know that you have lied to him?”
“Oh, nay,” Evelyn said with confidence. “Never. He loves me too well, and wants me too much. Just this day he told me of how deeply he cares for me. When he realizes that we can be together, that all I have done has been for him, he will only be glad. And then we can be wed and come to London to be with you.”
“But not too soon,” Sir Myles cautioned quickly. “I will need time to settle Isabelle in her new home, and to make certain that she cannot be found if Sir Justin should not believe that she willingly left him.”
“He won’t care for that!” Evelyn cried. “Justin will never search for her. He is like me, and only wants her gone! And I’ll not wait forever to come to London. I’m sick to death of living in that disgusting hovel, surrounded by such disgusting people! I want to go home!”
“Very well, my dear,” Sir Myles said soothingly, putting a finger to his lips in an effort to quiet her. “Very well. I know that these past many months have been more than unpleasant for you, but we are almost at the end of our goal, and if we move too soon, or without care, then we may lose everything, and all of your suffering will have been for naught. You do not wish that, do you?”
She shuddered at the thought. “Nay.”
“Then let us be wise and act with caution. You have done well, my daughter, and will be rewarded tenfold for all that you have suffered.”
“I want more than that,” she said. “I want Isabelle to suffer as I have. I want her to pay for all that I have been made to endure. Promise me that, Father, and I shall do whatever you say.”
He nodded. “I give you my word that your disobedient cousin will be punished for all of her sins. Fully punished. Have no doubts on the matter.”
“Will you take her away soon, then? Before I must leave Talwar?”
“I will take her if you can convince her to willingly come away with me. Sir Justin must have no doubts about her desire to annul their marriage. I do not want him following hot after me to take back his wife.”
“I’ll find a way to make Isabelle want to leave,” Evelyn vowed. “Justin will not follow after her. When I have finished dealing with my dear cousin, she’ll gladly go with you, and Justin will never want her back.”
Late into the night, Justin stood in the shadows of his wife’s chamber, watching Isabelle slumber. He hoped she would not be angry if she ever knew he was here, or that he came every night, watching as she slept, sometimes touching her or kissing her face, wanting her and loving her and praying that she would somehow find the way to forgive him for the angry lies he had spoken. How many nights had he stood just so, thinking of how it would be when he finally found the courage to speak to her of the matter? He had envisioned her being merciful, as she had proved to be, but he had not dared hope for such a sweet reprieve. With a few gentle words and the stroke of her hand, she had taken away the darkness that had haunted him since the loss of their child. And now he berated himself for not having known how it would be. Isabelle was too generous to do anything but what she had done, forgiving him as readily and easily as if there were almost no need for it.
But forgiveness was only a part of what lay between them. Even with it gone, he could not yet fathom how they would work their way across the gulf of acceptance and make their lives together as husband and wife. Whatever happiness they had known before seemed to have gone away with the child, or perhaps even before that. Aye, before that, in truth, else they would never have exchanged such harsh words with each other in his smithy.
Justin could no longer deny the thought that had come to him over and again during the past. two months.
Isabelle was not truly content to be his wife.
She could blame it on Evelyn’s presence, and he could blame it on her devotion to her account books, but neither of those things were the real cause. It was the way that they had begun, and the way they had gone on. He had stolen her for his own gain, she had agreed to be his wife out of gratitude, and he had foolishly believed that if he only gave her whatever she wanted—her brother, her mother’s books—then they would be eternally content together. Their marriage had consisted of nothing more than want and gain and gratitude, and that, as they had discovered to their regret, was not a solid enough foundation upon which to build a life.
This time she would have her say in what she wanted, whether she wished to be his wife or not, whether she wished to stay with him at Talwar or not. And whatever she decided, Justin vowed, he would honor it.
But, God in heaven, how he prayed that she would decide to stay. He could not fathom life without Isabelle, and these past weeks had been nothing short’ of torment. She had hardly spoken a dozen sentences to him in all that time, or touched him, and every time he tried to approach her, she’d dropped her eyes and moved away. She had almost looked afraid of him, as if he might do her some harm, as if he were going to hurt her again the way he’d hurt her in the smithy. The knowledge was a bottomless source of pain, worse than death. He could not bear to have her looking at him in such a way, not when she had once gifted him with joy and open smiles.
Slowly, silently, he approached the bed, and slowly, with great care, sat beside her upon it. She was always beautiful, but slumber added a peaceful grace, an innocence that made her look almost childlike. But the covers, which were lowered and settled about her waist, gave testament to the falseness of the impression. She was no child. Her full breasts strained against the thin cloth of her chemise, the round nipples showing darker through the white cotton. She was very sensitive to touching, everywhere, and had learned to tell him what pleased her best during their lovings. She loved to be kissed and suckled, so much so that she had once shyly asked him if such a strong desire was sinful. He had taken great delight in convincing her that a man and wife could be as good and loving in their marriage bed as they wished, pleasing each other without fear of incurring God’s wrath..
There had been nights when he came into her chamber and gave way to temptation, touching and kissing her and savoring the sleepy response she made. Fear had always driven him away before she fully wakened; desire had pulled him back the following night, time and again.
He didn’t touch Isabelle tonight, or kiss her. There were tear stains on her cheeks, making him know that she had wept after he spoke with her earlier. And she had looked full weary as he helped her to undress. She must sleep undisturbed, gathering the rest she needed for the coming days. Her decision would be made, and Justin would take no chances on letting weariness sway her one way or another. If she stayed, she would
do so of her own free will, and he would know that she was ready to be his wife in every way, forever. And if she went away, he would accept her decision without a word. No matter what his heart told him to do—to keep her at all costs, even if that made her his prisoner—he would let her go.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Thank you for helping me pack, Isabelle.” Evelyn slanted her eyes sideways to give her cousin a considering look. “I hope you’re feeling well enough? I don’t wish to weary you.”
“I’m fine,” Isabelle answered, folding one of the beautiful surcoats that she remembered Evelyn wearing in London—a surcoat Evelyn hadn’t worn once while she was at Talwar, favoring instead simple, plain clothes that she’d have disdained before. “I’m glad to help you in any way I can.”
Which was the truth, Isabelle thought, setting the garment on the bed, beside the others she had already folded. Only two days remained before Evelyn would be gone. Two days before everything at Talwar would begin to be what it had once been, and for that Isabelle would have gladly done all of Evelyn’s packing by herself.
The past few days had been promising. Justin had been unfailingly kind and affectionate, seeking her out and spending time with her as he had not done for many weeks, and each night he came to her chamber and helped her to undress in preparation for bed. He had not kissed her yet, not spoken of desire, but his lingering gaze and gentle hands made his feelings well-known. As soon as she had been properly churched, and as soon as Evelyn was gone, Isabelle knew that he would come to her bed again. Everything was going to be wonderful then. Perfect. She could hardly wait to once more be his wife, and to show him how greatly she loved and desired him.
“It is very kind of you,” Evelyn said, separating various undergarments into piles. “You have been so kind to me these past months, despite everything that has happened. I’m sure I’ll never be able to repay my gratitude. And I know that Justin has made his pleasure in your excellent behavior well-known.”
Isabelle looked at her curiously. “I suppose that he has,” she murmured, disliking the familiarity Evelyn used when speaking of Justin.
“And now that Senet and Odelyn are to become betrothed, you’ll no longer need to worry about your younger brother. They shall be content to remain here at Talwar until Senet is able to make his own way. You know that Justin will take good care of both of them until that time has come.”
“Yes, of course he will,” Isabelle agreed.
Evelyn sighed. “I’m so content. I never knew how wonderful it would be. And I’m so fortunate that you are so understanding, Cousin. You must care very deeply for your husband’s happiness.”
Isabelle added another surcoat to the pile. “I care more for my husband, and for his happiness, than for anything else in life.”
Evelyn was silent a moment. Then, with a smile, she glanced at Isabelle and said, “I am glad to know of it, my dear. I only hope that you will remember that declaration in days to come. Many wives are not so understanding as you regarding these matters. But Justin has told me often that you are perfectly malleable and would never deny him the wishes of his heart, and now I know that he has spoken the truth. It was rather foolish of me to doubt him.”
“Evelyn,” Isabelle said curtly, growing angry, “I do not understand what it is you speak of, but I wish that you would—’’
Evelyn suddenly gasped and put a hand to her temple, swaying forward.
“Evelyn?” Isabelle threw aside the surcoat she was folding. “Here, to the bed,” she instructed, slipping her arm about Evelyn’s waist to keep her from falling. “Come and sit.”
“Oh!” Evelyn said. “I felt so dizzy, suddenly. It is better now. Only give me a moment”. She drew in a deep breath and exhaled it slowly.
“Are you ill?” Isabelle asked with worry, peering into her cousin’s face more closely. Evelyn didn’t appear to be either pale or flushed; indeed, she looked perfectly healthy.
“Oh, nay,” Evelyn said with a small, happy laugh. “Tis only the babe, but you will understand that without my telling you. A small discomfort for the joy the child’s presence brings me. I have not really been ill at all, may God be praised.”
Isabelle stood straight, and backed away a few steps, staring at her cousin.
“Babe?” she whispered. “A child? You…are with child?”
Evelyn’s expression grew bewildered. “Certainly. But, Isabelle, I thought you knew. Hasn’t Justin told you?”
Isabelle suddenly felt as if she’d been tossed into the icy depths of a frozen lake. Blackness welled up about her, overwhelming and engulfing. So great was her shock that she nearly didn’t make it to the chair into which she collapsed.
“He did tell you, didn’t he?”
Evelyn’s voice sounded as if it were coming from across a valley. Isabelle set a shaking hand to her forehead and tried to force herself into control.
“Nay,” she said, her voice rough and cracking. “He said naught.” She thought of Birgitte, suddenly, and remembered how relieved she’d been to discover that the girl was lying about carrying Justin’s child.
“Isabelle, forgive me,” Evelyn said from where she still sat on the bed. “He said he was going to tell you the truth before I left for Siere. I thought that he had already done so. I wanted him to wait until after I had gone, but he assured me that you would want to know the truth as soon as possible, so that you might make a decision about what you want to do.”
“What I will do?” Isabelle whispered, numb everywhere.
“Whether you will remain at Talwar or let Justin put you in your own home, where you will not have to see the child. Of course, I realize that you will continue to give Justin children, if you are still able to do so after what you suffered so recently, but you cannot wish for our children to be raised together, can you? For me, I would rather not do so, although I will bow to your wishes in the matter. Justin has assured me that you will not prove difficult, and I know he is right. You have just said that his happiness is most dear to you.”
Isabelle closed her eyes, fighting the rush of nausea that threatened to overtake her. “But Justin is sending you away. He’s sending you to Siere.”
“Yes,” Evelyn admitted sadly, “and we are going to miss each other very much, although he has promised to visit me there often until our child is born, and will bring us back to Talwar as soon as you have been settled elsewhere, if you agree to go, as he has said you will. Otherwise, he must have a separate dwelling built nearby where the child and I will live. I will be content either way,” she said, “but surely you realize, Isabelle, that Justin will choose to live with me, and not with you. I cannot think you will want to live here at Talwar alone, when you might have a comfortable house elsewhere.”
Isabelle was shaking her head, and trembling violently in her limbs. “It is not true. None of this is true. He said we would start anew once you had gone. He is sending you away!”
“It is true,” Evelyn said more sharply, standing. “Don’t be a fool, Isabelle! You’re not blind. You know that Justin and I have been lovers nearly since the day I came to Talwar. We love each other in ways that you, with your silly books and foolish ideas, could never understand. And we will not be parted simply because Justin made such a mistake in wedding you. He regrets that now, and you know it very well. You’ve known it from the beginning, haven’t you?” She moved closer, towering above Isabelle. “Haven’t you? Did you ever think that he would desire you above me? Has he not proved these past months who he prefers? He hasn’t shared your bed, even when he could have done so, because he’s been with me. Every night, and during the days, whenever we’re able.” She knelt, grasping Isabelle’s hand and forcing it against her stomach. “Feel, Isabelle, where his child grows within me. Can you deny the proof of that?”
Isabelle snatched her hand away. “It’s not true!” she cried.
Evelyn slapped her with a vicious snarl. “You stupid little bitch! Is it any wonder Justin can’t wait to be rid of you?
Do you know when he put this child within me? Do you?” She leaned forward, speaking in a low, hot tone. “On the night you lost your own babe, Justin and I were in his smithy, joined together. He planted his seed within me during the very hour that your own babe died. That’s why he wasn’t with you, not even when you called out for him. It was because he was with me, and nothing, especially not you, could make him leave the woman he truly loves. You think of that, Isabelle, when I’ve gone to Siere.” Evelyn pushed to her feet. “And if you still don’t believe me, then go and ask Aric. He came running for his master to bring him to you, and intruded upon us while we were yet joined. Or, better yet, ask Justin. He’ll not deny the presence of the babe that I carry. He’ll tell you of it himself, and gladly.”
Isabelle found Aric working in the stables, brushing down his horse after the hard ride Justin had led him and the other boys through earlier in the day. He looked up when Isabelle pushed through the stable doors and, seeing her, fell still with his arms lifted and a brush in one hand. He froze that way, staring at her.
“My lady,” he said, in a voice so dismayed that Isabelle realized she must look as frightful as she felt. “What is amiss?”
She told him what Evelyn had said, forcing the words out past trembling lips, struggling to keep herself under control and not give way to the pain and fear that tided within her.
“Only tell me if it is true,” she begged him on a sob. “Please, tell me.”
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