While it wasn’t unusual for Tessa to be reserved and quiet, Martha’s description of her behavior weighed heavily on his heart. Was she upset by the way he’d tried to kiss her the other night?
He took a sip of his coffee and cleared his throat. “Maybe she was just distracted. She might have had a lot on her mind.” He made his voice sound as nonchalant as possible, but his heart grieved.
What if she was having second thoughts about working in such close proximity to him? He’d kick himself if his impulsive action ruined everything. Maybe she just didn’t feel the same way about him as he felt about her. His gut wrenched at the thought. As soon as he stopped by the livery to see Cully, he’d make a visit to the boardinghouse.
Martha refilled his coffee cup. “Ted’s mother and I plan to work on my wedding dress today, unless you need me here.”
Gideon ran his finger around the rim of his cup. “I have two errands to run this morning, so if you could mind the store for about an hour, I’d appreciate it.”
He descended the stairs and slipped out the back door of the storeroom. The cornflower blue sky promised a beautiful day. He hoped it would be in more ways than just the weather.
Gideon walked around the boardinghouse to the backyard where Miss Pearl was hanging freshly washed sheets on the clothesline. “Morning, Miss Pearl.”
The woman smiled through the clothespins held in her teeth. She removed the wooden pins and hugged Gideon. “You’re back a day early. Did you get the stove parts?”
He grinned. “Sure did. I stopped at the livery and told Cully. He said he’d have them hooked up by this afternoon.”
“Oh, that’s just fine. But I don’t suppose you came here to pass the time with an old lady like me.” She gave him a sly smile. “Tessa’s in the kitchen.”
“You’re beautiful, Miss Pearl, even with clothespins sticking out of your mouth.”
She flapped her hand in his direction. “Oh, mercy sakes! Go on with you.” She returned to her task, humming a tuneless ditty.
He took the porch steps two at a time and rapped lightly on the back door. When Tessa opened the door, he pulled his hat off and drew in a shallow breath.
She was a vision, even with strands of her sandy hair refusing to stay within the confines of their pins. Her cheeks were flushed a becoming shade of pink, but apprehension filled her eyes.
“Good morning, Gideon.” She stepped aside so he could enter, then filled a coffee cup and set it on the table for him.
He took that as a good sign. At least she was willing for him to stay as long as it would take him to drink the coffee. “Morning.” He lowered himself to the chair and watched her at the stove.
Her green-checked apron enhanced her hazel eyes as she placed a plate of fragrant cinnamon rolls on the table.
“Mm, thanks. Those smell great.”
Silence hung between them as words eluded him.
Tessa appeared nervous, like she had something on her mind but didn’t know how to begin. “Gideon, I have to tell—”
“Tessa, I need to—”
They exchanged uncomfortable smiles.
“There’s something I heard—”
“Tessa, about the other night—”
Tessa twisted her fingers then gestured in his direction. “You go ahead.”
Perhaps if he let her air out her feelings, he might be able to better address them. “No, please. You first.”
She turned her back and picked up the corner of her apron. “There’s something I need to tell you, but I’m afraid when I do you’ll think ill of me.”
The memory of the last time he jumped to conclusions stirred in his stomach. “Tessa, I won’t think badly of you. I realize I did once, and I’m so very sorry I misjudged you.”
She turned slowly to face him, the hem of her apron tangled around her fingers. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, really. I was cleaning off tables in the dining room, and Mr. Kilgore left his office door open. He was talking so loud … I couldn’t help hearing him. And then yesterday, when I saw him coming toward me on the boardwalk, I just didn’t want to have an encounter with him, so I stepped into the alley behind some crates. I didn’t know he would stop to talk with Mr. Behr right beside the alley.”
Gideon reached over and pulled out the other chair at the table, inviting her to be seated. “Tessa, slow down. You’re not making sense. Take a deep breath, and come sit down.”
She gingerly slid down onto the chair, her eyes downcast. “I know it’s wrong to eavesdrop. I didn’t do it on purpose.”
She raised her eyes to meet his. “I don’t want you to think I’m the kind of person who listens at doors or snoops around trying to overhear things not meant for me.”
Gideon’s lips twitched. It simply wasn’t conceivable for Tessa to do anything sinister. She was too unassuming. “Tessa, nobody is accusing you of doing any such thing.”
“But Gideon, I heard something by accident that you need to know about. I’ve struggled trying to decide whether or not to tell you. It feels like repeating gossip. But it’s not gossip. Mr. Kilgore is planning something that isn’t right, and I’m afraid it can hurt you.”
“Hurt me?” Gideon frowned.
Anything Kilgore did wouldn’t surprise him, but he was more concerned with Tessa at the moment. His attempt to kiss her didn’t seem to be bothering her, but whatever she’d overheard upset her to the point she was even now mangling the edge of her apron.
“Tessa, it’s all right. Whatever you heard wasn’t your fault. It doesn’t sound as if you set out to eavesdrop on purpose. But if Kilgore has something up his sleeve that you feel I should know, I’m listening.”
She gave him a hint of a wobbly smile, and his heart rolled over. If relief was a tangible thing, it spilled over her countenance like handfuls of cold water.
He could clearly see she’d been worried about his reaction. To put her at ease, he broke a cinnamon roll in two and slid one half over to her. “Come on. Share this delicacy with me, and tell me what’s on your mind.”
Fifteen minutes later, Gideon tried to make sense of everything Tessa had disclosed. His impression of Hubert Behr was that of a fine, upstanding, Christian gentleman. But if that was the case, what dealings did he have with Kilgore? “Did they say anything else? I don’t understand what he means by altered land grant maps.”
Tessa shook her head. “I don’t either. He said you were in for a surprise, and his voice sounded so hateful when he said it. Do you think you should speak with the town sheriff?”
Everything Tessa had told him pinched his eyebrows into a V. “No, Sheriff McCoy is one of Kilgore’s puppets. I doubt he’d do anything to help if he’s in Kilgore’s back pocket.” He rubbed his chin. “If I telegraphed the U.S. marshal, he isn’t going to come all the way out here based on our suspicions.”
Tessa set her elbow on the table and leaned her chin into her hand. “So what should we do?”
Gideon’s heart did a little flip at her question, and he decided to tuck away the “we” for future consideration. “First thing we’re going to do is pray about it. After that … well, I’ve made a mess of things too many times running ahead of God.”
Tessa looked at him squarely in the eye, like she was weighing his answer. A hint of a smile tilted the corner of her mouth. “Prayer is a good start. I’ll certainly be praying.”
Gideon ignored the heat rising from his middle. “I … uh … I sort of thought, well, maybe we could … pray together.”
Tessa’s eyes widened, and she raised her chin off her palm. “Together?”
His breath constricted in his throat. If she had any discomfort or misgivings about spending time in close proximity with him, she would express it now.
She clasped her hands and dropped her gaze to study her fingers. At least she was no longer mutilating the hem of her apron.
He waited.
Finally she spoke. “Gideon …” Her voice was as soft as an angel’s song. “Your invitation is ver
y kind, but I think I’d best pray alone.”
Gideon’s shoulders slumped. She was, no doubt, trying to distance herself from him. A wave of self-condemnation crashed over him, but he pushed his disappointment away lest it color the tone of his voice. “That’s all right.” He filled his lungs slowly, deliberately then released the air. “Tessa, about the other night … I apologize if I frightened you or if my behavior was ungentlemanly.”
He saw her stiffen, but she didn’t raise her eyes.
“Forgive me?”
The tiny shake of her head was so slight he almost missed it. No? She didn’t forgive him?
She lowered her hands to her lap and began worrying the corner of her apron again.
Indecision gnawed at him. Should he excuse himself and leave? Should he wait to see if she had anything else to say?
Just as he sought God’s advice, Tessa cleared her throat. “Gideon, you’ve never been anything but a gentleman. There’s nothing to forgive.”
If his heart could have burst free of his rib cage and taken wing, he’d have cheered it on. A fleeting thought sprinted through his head. Should he make another attempt to kiss her? Maybe not. Not yet, anyway.
She rose from the table, and he followed suit. “I stopped by the livery this morning and told Cully the stove parts are here. He said he could install them this afternoon, so your stove will be ready later today.”
Anticipation filled her expression. “That’s nice. Very nice.” The corner of her apron hung twisted like a little girl’s ringlet.
“We can hang your sign up in the window this afternoon if you’d like.”
A nervous smile wobbled across her face. “I’d like that very much.”
He stepped toward the door, but her voice lassoed him. “Gideon?” He turned.
“I’ve never prayed with anyone before. Except Mama. I’m afraid I might not do it right.”
A slow smile worked its way up from deep within his chest and spread to his face. “Tessa, there’s no wrong way to pray. God just loves hearing from His children. Besides, if our prayers had to line up with a list of rules, I’ve been doing it wrong for years.”
Tessa’s laugh fell on his ears like music, and she nodded. “Okay then. Maybe praying together would be all right.” She lifted her fingers in a half wave as he headed toward the door. “I’ll see you this afternoon.”
He almost tripped over the threshold going out the door.
Tessa dumped bread dough on the floured table and sank her fists into the soft, elastic blob. Methodically she pushed the air bubbles out of the mass, folded it over, and rolled her knuckles through it again and again, until the dough was satiny smooth. After dividing it into four equal parts, she greased the pans with lard and laid a portion of dough in each one.
Miss Pearl came in the kitchen toting her empty laundry basket on one hip. “I can’t tell you how wonderful it is having you here doing the baking.” The woman gave a pleasant sigh and dropped the basket by the door. “It’s kind of nice having a friend in the kitchen, too. Coffee?” She withdrew two cups from the shelf.
“I just made a fresh pot.” Tessa placed the pans of bread to rise at the back of the stove where warmth still lingered from breakfast. “There are a couple of cinnamon rolls left.”
“You’re going to spoil me for sure.” Miss Pearl filled the two cups. “I don’t suppose watching my figure is an excuse not to indulge.” She bit into a roll and closed her eyes. “Mmm.”
Tessa smiled at her landlady and took the seat opposite her. “I can check the laundry on the line for you and bring it in when it’s dry.”
“That would be a big help. I’m doing all the bedding today. It’s a big job.”
The steam from Tessa’s cup sent fragrant tendrils wafting by her nose, coaxing her to take a sip. The coffee’s bracing flavor lent her a bit of courage. “Miss Pearl, do you ever wish you had someone to talk to—someone special, someone you loved?”
Miss Pearl gave her a knowing look. “Missing your mama, are you?” Tessa nodded wordlessly.
The woman took another slow sip of her coffee and set her cup down in front of her. “I’m not your mama, but if you’ve got something troubling on your mind, I’m a good listener.”
Tessa bit her lip to command the stinging behind her eyelids to quit. She swallowed hard, forcing her emotions into line. Her eyes locked onto the dark liquid in her cup, and she willed her thoughts to fall into the right order so they wouldn’t sound stupid. “Miss Pearl, did anyone ever try to kiss you?”
A snuffled sound came from Miss Pearl’s side of the table. When Tessa looked up, the woman’s eyes twinkled, her lips pressed together, and the corners of her mouth appeared to have the hiccups.
Miss Pearl cleared her throat and finally spoke. Her voice reminded Tessa of a tinkling music box. “Well, yes. I remember the first time my Jacob tried to kiss me. We were standing behind an old willow tree where he’d carved our initials. He leaned way over, his eyes all squinched closed and his lips pooched out like a guppy.”
Tessa tried to paint the picture in her mind, and a smile tugged at her lips. “What happened?”
“Teacher rang the bell. Recess was over.”
A laugh bubbled up from Tessa’s middle, releasing the tightness in her chest. “How old were you?”
A faraway look crept into Miss Pearl’s eyes. “He was eleven, and I was nine. But I knew from that moment he was the man I would marry.”
“And did you?”
“Mm-hmm.”
Tessa could see memory’s pages turning backward in the woman’s mind. “I was just sixteen. We married and worked side by side together for twenty-six years. Fever took Jacob twelve years ago.” She smiled at Tessa. “Sometimes I can still taste that first kiss.”
A flutter tickled Tessa’s stomach, and she drew in a soft breath. How sweet would it be to hide a memory that special in one’s heart?
“So”—Miss Pearl picked up her cup again and eyed Tessa over its rim—“may I assume Gideon kissed you?”
“No.” She blurted out the reply as a rush of heat filled her face and burned her ears. She gentled her voice. “No—that is, he started to, but….”
“But what? Teacher didn’t ring the bell.”
Tessa blew out a stiff sigh. “I pulled away from him. And I don’t know why.”
Miss Pearl’s smile crinkled the lines around her eyes. “Maybe you just weren’t ready, child. A girl wants to know a man cares about her here.” She laid a hand over her heart. “And she has to know how she feels about him, too. Do you know how you feel about Gideon?”
Tessa lifted her shoulders slightly. “I–I’m not sure.”
“Well, there’s one way to find out for sure.” The woman reached across the table and patted Tessa’s hand. “You talk to God about it. He’ll reveal those feelings to you, so you don’t have to wonder if it’s right or not.”
Tessa returned Miss Pearl’s smile. “Seems like I have a lot to pray about.”
“You take it to the Father. You can trust Him, honey girl.”
Honey girl. She never thought she’d hear those words again. The sweet endearment wrapped around her heart like a warm quilt. The grief she felt at missing her mama suddenly wasn’t quite so sharp.
fifteen
The reproach on Tessa’s face took Gideon aback. “Don’t you like horses?”
Tessa’s shoulders hunched with a slight shake of her head. “It’s not that … It’s really none of my business.”
Gideon laid aside the letter from the breeder in Illinois he’d shown her moments ago. Judging by her frown, she didn’t share his enthusiasm. Maybe her stony silence was because she feared she’d no longer have the bakery. “Hey, don’t be concerned about the buyer not wanting to keep the bakery. Business has doubled in the past couple of weeks because you’re here.”
She fingered the wiggly ridges around the edge of a pie for several long moments. Not meeting his eyes, she pursed her lips before answering. “My fathe
r had a good farm in Indiana—at least it could have been a good farm if he’d worked at it. But he sold it and dragged Mama and me out here to chase an illusive dream of getting rich. Mama had been sickly for so long, and traveling was too hard on her. She might still be alive today if we’d stayed put. I don’t understand how a man can throw away a perfectly good means of support for his family in favor of such an uncertain prospect.”
An invisible fist punched Gideon in the gut. He swallowed the ire rising in his chest only to feel disappointment replace it. For weeks he’d wondered and prayed about Tessa possibly being the woman God had chosen for him. But her disdain of his dream was a bucket of cold water thrown in his face. How could she compare his plans to her father’s drunken irresponsibility?
“Tessa, this is something I’ve planned for a long time. I’m not entering into this with my eyes shut.” He wished she’d look at him. “There’s a huge need in this area for sturdy, well-bred farm horses.”
She cocked her head to one side. “But you told me your father started this business and that he supported his family well because of the dependable reputation he built as a merchant. Why would you cast that aside on a gamble?”
Defensiveness sprang up and grabbed control of his words before he could stop it. “I’m not casting anything aside, and I’m certainly not gambling away my father’s hard work. Being a merchant suited him. He enjoyed the work. I just want something different.” He didn’t add that he’d hoped for her support of his dream. He’d sought God’s guidance in this endeavor for three years and felt assured of the Lord’s approval. But for weeks Tessa’s image had begun entering into that dream as well, and it was an image he didn’t want to dismiss.
“Mmm. Something sure smells good in here.” Ty Sawyer strolled in the door. “What’s this? You operatin’ a bakery now?”
Gideon shoved his disconcertment down and greeted his friend. “Hey, Ty.”
Ty stopped short, and his eyes widened at the sight of Tessa in her green gingham apron. He yanked his hat from his head. “Don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure.”
Truly Yours Historical Collection December 2014 Page 43