So why did she find herself longing for Jesse’s touch? The memory of her father kissing her mother, the two of them snuggling together when they thought no one could see them, tugged at her heart. Although she’d never admitted it, she’d yearned for that kind of relationship with a man. What a joy it would be to have Jesse look at her the way Papa had looked at Momma—like she was the most precious jewel in the world.
A burst of cold air tumbled in as Jesse stamped through the door. With a glance, Megan noted his rosy cheeks and the look of good health that made him glow. He’d recovered from the pneumonia, much to her relief. For weeks he’d been weak; but he refused to rest, working long hours, doing any little job he could find that needed done. There were always things to be fixed on a farm.
“Thank you.” Jesse clenched his fingers around the cup of coffee Megan handed him. She loved the strong look of him. He wasn’t tall or slender like many of the boys and men she’d known. Instead, Jesse was as sturdy as an oak. He didn’t have fat on him. He worked far too hard for that, but he was solid. Sometimes she had trouble keeping herself from touching his hands or finding out if his arms were as rocklike as they appeared.
“Thank you.” Megan couldn’t look up at him.
“For what?”
“For all you’ve done.” She gestured in the direction of the newly filled graves. “For caring enough to see to their proper burial.”
“You’re welcome.” Jesse took a gulp, then sputtered and nearly choked. “Whew, this isn’t left over. I didn’t expect it to be so hot.” He flashed a smile. “I want to take you to church tomorrow.”
“But we can’t.” Megan backed up a step.
“The roads are passable. I’ve made sure all the tack is mended. If we leave early, we’ll be able to get there on time.”
Megan’s heart pounded. Facing Mr. Sparks at the bank had been bad enough. To face the whole congregation, knowing what they thought she’d done, was more than she could do. “What about Seana? She’ll get chilled.”
“We’ll wrap her up good. You can heat some rocks in the fireplace to keep her feet warm. I’ll pack them around her myself.” Jesse set the cup on the table. “My mind’s made up, Megan. We need to go to church. I know why you don’t want to go, but you have to face them sometime. If they’re good Christian people, they’ll be glad to see you.”
❧
Clucking to the tired team, Jesse noted the number of wagons and carriages surrounding the small church at the outskirts of Yankton. He tried to ignore Megan’s pallor as her whitened fingers gripped the seat beside him. Since the beginning of the marriage, he’d wanted to ask her about the comments made by Reverend Porter and his wife, but he hadn’t been sure he’d even heard them right. Everything about that day faded into fuzziness as he tried to pin his thoughts down. He’d been so sick, he hadn’t realized he was married until Seana said something. He could still recall the shock as reality took hold. Megan was his wife, although still in name only. For some reason he’d sensed fear and uncertainty in her. As much as he longed for a closer relationship, he wanted to wait until she was ready.
In almost every way, Megan was the opposite of Sara, the girl to whom he’d been betrothed. Where Sara was tall and slender, Megan was short and well rounded. Sara’s blond locks and fair complexion contrasted completely with Megan’s mahogany hair and sun-browned skin. Even on the inside they were opposites. Sara thought only of herself and what others could do for her. Megan always thought of others first. Her constant attention to his every need testified to that. After knowing Megan, Jesse couldn’t believe he’d ever been attracted to Sara. Of course, much of that attraction had been the result of his parents’ insistence that she would be right for him. How wrong they had been.
“Are we there, Meggie?” Seana rose up on her knees to peer between them. Excitement made her eyes sparkle more than they had in some time.
“We’re here.” Megan’s short response spoke volumes of her reluctance to face these people. Jesse wanted to help her, but he knew it was best for her to face her fears. That’s why he had made her come. When she saw how friendly these people would be, she’d relax and enjoy the fellowship.
The tinny plink of a piano drifted from inside the building as Jesse hopped down to secure the team. By the time they walked up the steps to the door, the hymn was in full swing, the chorus of voices echoing the song in his heart. Oh, how he’d missed the fellowship with other believers. If only this church were close enough to attend every week.
Megan had a tight hold on Seana’s shoulder. Jesse wasn’t sure if she didn’t want the girl to skip on ahead or if she needed the support. He took Megan’s elbow in his hand, guiding her into the sanctuary. The floorboards creaked. The people sitting closest to the door glanced around. One by one they stopped singing and stared at the Coulters. Jesse urged Megan to continue down the aisle where there were empty seats. As they passed the rows, silence descended, except for one group of young people about Megan’s age. One of the girls leaned over to whisper to her companion. Before the Coulters passed them, the whole group was staring at Megan and snickering. Megan acted as if she hadn’t noticed, but Jesse could see the flush in her cheeks. By the time they arrived at the empty pew, even the pianist stopped playing, the air filled with silent tension.
Her face bright red, Megan stared at the floor. Jesse smiled at the grim faces around him. Reverend Porter, standing at the front of the congregation in a black suit that gave him the appearance of a vulture, stared at them with narrowed eyes. An uncomfortable silence stretched until Jesse thought he might explode.
Reverend Porter nodded. “It’s nice to see the Coulters here this Sunday. Mrs. Porter, perhaps we could start this hymn over again.”
Jesse couldn’t begin to imagine the cause for the animosity he felt from these people. Mrs. Porter, seated at the piano, began to pound the keys with a force that threatened to ruin the instrument. This time the singing lacked conviction. Under the guise of the music, Jesse could hear the whispers as ladies and gentlemen alike tilted their heads together and passed on some bit of gossip. He ground his teeth together in an effort to keep quiet.
As the hymn drew to a close, Reverend Porter gestured for his wife to take her seat in the pew near the piano. He smoothed his dark coat and opened a huge Bible. Clearing his throat, he read, “ ‘Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.’ ” He stared in silence, his gaze roving over the congregation and coming to settle on Megan. “Reading from Psalm 139, written by David, King of Israel.”
His gaze never leaving Megan’s downcast face, Reverend Porter pointed his finger. “There is nowhere you can go to hide from God. He always knows where you’ve been and what you’ve done. Your sin cannot be hidden.”
Jesse listened in astonishment as the preacher continued to berate the congregation with a variety of possible sins they couldn’t hide from the Lord. He made no reference to the forgiveness that comes from confessing your sins to Him. Instead, he consigned them all to an eternity in hell for the wrongs they’d done—or had he? Most of his message was directed at Megan, or at least in her direction. What had she done that these people felt so much hostility toward her? She had the best heart of anyone he’d ever met. She didn’t raise her voice to him, didn’t argue, and didn’t demand her own way, even though she’d been forced into a situation she didn’t want. Why did this preacher condemn her?
“Is it adultery or fornication you’ve committed? In some secret place you thought no one would know about?” Reverend Porter’s voice sounded more like the hiss of a serpent than that of a man of God. “Not only does God know your dirty secrets, but He tells His people to be set apart from sinners.”
Reverend Porter straightened. “I suggest if you’re one of those living in sin that you refrain from attending this church. We do not want the reputation of the Corinthian church. They willingly pu
t up with disgusting sins until the apostle Paul set them straight. We will not tolerate sinful behavior here.”
Megan’s hands were clenched in her skirts. Jesse could tell from the set of her shoulders that she was strung like a tight wire ready to snap. Anger filled him at the injustice of this man condemning someone rather than extending the forgiveness of Jesus. Who taught Porter about the Bible? They hadn’t done a very good job. He couldn’t wait to leave here. If he’d known the bigotry they would face, he would never have subjected Megan to this travesty.
The church meeting ended with a sonorous prayer by Reverend Porter, extolling the virtues of living a sinless life and condemning those who didn’t. Jesse gritted his teeth. Reaching down, he covered Megan’s clenched fist with his hand. He felt her start, and he could feel her trembling, most likely from the same anger that consumed him.
Outside, the congregation separated into small groups, speaking in hushed whispers and staring at the door of the church as the Coulters stepped out. Jesse still held Megan’s hand. She seemed to be drawing strength from him. For the first time since their arrival, she lifted her chin and straightened. She didn’t meet the gaze of any of the people clustered around, but stared off across the wide lawn toward where their wagon awaited. Jesse wondered if she were judging the distance and the time it would take them to cross over and be gone from here. He couldn’t blame her at all. He wanted to leave this place and never return.
They were almost to the wagon when a voice halted them. “Megan, wait.” Glancing over his shoulder, Jesse saw a short, heavyset woman hurrying to catch them. In her arms she cradled a sleeping baby. Four children trailed after her like quail after a mama. By the time she reached them, she had to gasp for breath before she could speak. Megan stiffened as if terrified of what the woman would say.
“Megan, Dear, I’m so glad we both came to church today. This is the first time we’ve been here since the blizzard.” Her voice trailed off. Tears sparkled in her eyes. “I just wanted to tell you how sorry we are about your family and what happened. If there’s anything William and I can do, please say so.”
Megan relaxed. “Thank you, Mrs. Bright. I’m sorry I haven’t been by to visit, but the weather has been bad.” An awkward silence fell. “I don’t believe you’ve met my husband, Jesse Coulter. Jesse, this is one of our neighbors, Mrs. Edith Bright.”
“Mr. Coulter, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Oh, there’s William coming with the reverend. If you’re like us, you have to head back right away. Perhaps we could travel together and stop along the way for our lunch.” Edith raised her hand to wave at the approaching men. She didn’t seem to be aware of the dark cloud hovering around the preacher.
Nine
Dread filled Megan as she watched the preacher stalking toward her. This day looked like it might go from bad to worse. After the way Reverend Porter’s gaze bored into her in church and the reaction of the congregation when she, Jesse, and Seana walked in, she knew the angry frown on Reverend Porter’s face boded ill. She pasted on a smile as she smoothed the ruffle along Seana’s collar.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Bright, Reverend Porter.” Megan hoped they couldn’t see how much she wanted to turn and run. She tightened her hold on Jesse’s hand, almost unaware of doing so.
“I don’t know what you’re doing, showing your face here like this. Did you think we wouldn’t have heard about your meeting with Mr. Sparks?” Reverend Porter said.
“What are you talking about?” Megan glanced at Jesse. He seemed as puzzled as she did.
“Mr. Sparks told me about you coming to town on the pretense of asking about the loan. Any decent Christian wouldn’t have proposed what you did while your husband waited outside. Although reluctant to believe the rumors we’d heard about you, after talking with our esteemed banker, I can see they were true.”
“Exactly what did I say to Mr. Sparks?” Megan tried to push away the feelings of impending doom. She wanted to climb in the wagon and drive away from here as fast as possible. Would she never be free of the vicious lies those young men told about her?
The preacher leaned over and glared at Megan. “I’m talking about how you told Mr. Sparks you regretted not choosing him for a husband. You even suggested the two of you could meet privately on occasion.”
Edith’s gasp echoed Megan’s. “I said no such thing. In fact, I didn’t speak to Mr. Sparks without my husband there.” Megan paled as she remembered Mr. Sparks calling her back as they were leaving. He said he wanted a private word, then only offered again his condolences about her parents. Jesse had been right outside the open door. She hadn’t thought anything of the interchange.
“Don’t add lying to your list of other sins, Mrs. Coulter.”
“Just a minute, now.” Jesse stepped forward, pushing between Megan and Reverend Porter. “I was at the bank, too. When Megan spoke to Mr. Sparks privately, I was right outside the door watching them. Mr. Sparks asked to speak to her, not the other way around. I believe you should question your source before accusing my wife of anything.” Jesse’s fists balled at his sides, his whole body like a tight spring. A thrill raced through Megan as she realized no one had ever stood up for her like this before. In spite of the accusations, she wanted to smile.
“We’ve known the Rileys for several years now.” William Bright stepped forward. “Megan has never done anything to deserve such treatment. I think you could have at least given her the opportunity to tell her side of the story.”
Reverend Porter whirled on Mr. Bright. “You’re stuck out there in the middle of nowhere. You don’t hear the things I hear. This girl has a sinful reputation that’s followed her here. Now we’re seeing her true colors. As a member of my congregation, I’m going to have to ask you and your missus to not associate with her.”
Mr. Bright’s jaw tightened. “I don’t believe you have the authority to tell me who I can or can’t associate with. The Rileys were a fine couple. I intend to stand by their daughter. Lee Riley helped me out more than once, and Megan, here, stayed with us when Edith had so much trouble with the last baby. I don’t know what we’d have done without her help. She’s a fine girl.”
“Her parents told me they had to move out here to escape all the problems she caused with young men. At least out here they were away from town and so could keep her in line.”
“Reverend, I’ve never hit a preacher in my life, but if you don’t turn around and leave us, you’re going to be the first. If I’m not mistaken, you’re gossiping about information told to you in private. In my Bible, gossip is a sin.” Jesse tilted forward until his face was inches from Porter’s. All across the grounds, people were silent as they watched the interchange.
The two men glared at each other for a long minute before Reverend Porter stepped back, easing the tension. Megan thought Jesse wanted to go after him, so she placed a hand on Jesse’s arm. He glanced down. She gave a small smile. She could feel the muscles in his arm loosen. Taking her hand in his once again, Jesse faced the preacher. “You stopped a little too soon when you were reading from Psalm 139. What about the next two verses? ‘If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.’ I guess that part of the Scripture didn’t fit what you wanted to say. That psalm isn’t talking about hiding our sin as much as letting us know that God is always there to guide us. No matter where we go, He’ll lead us if we allow Him.”
Turning his back on the preacher, Jesse led Megan and Seana to the wagon. He handed them both up, then turned to Mr. Bright. “I don’t believe we’ve been introduced, Mr. Bright. I’m Jesse Coulter, Megan’s husband. We’d take it kindly if you would join us on the trip home. Megan has some lunch packed.”
“I do, too.” Edith Bright, surrounded by her wide-eyed children, took a step closer. “We can stop and combine our lunches. The company will be enjoyable.” She sent a glare at the preacher.
“You go on ahead. I’ll get my famil
y loaded up.” William Bright shook Jesse’s hand. “If we’re going to be neighbors, I’d like to get to know you. Living so far from town, we have to stick together.” He, too, shot an angry look at the departing preacher, raising his voice on the last words so they would be heard by anyone close.
“Meggie, can I ride with Sally?” Seana enjoyed the rare visits she got with the oldest Bright girl. “Please?” At Edith’s nod, Megan gave her permission and watched as her sister clambered down and skipped over to climb into the Brights’ wagon, giggling with her friend as if there weren’t any troubles in the world.
The small groups of people scattered around the church grounds began whispering together, their glances raking over Megan. Jesse clicked his tongue, and the horses began to move. Megan held her head high, unwilling to allow these people to know how upset she was. On the way home, she should explain to Jesse why there were so many rumors about her. She didn’t know if she had the courage to bring up her painful past.
❧
The horses snorted and tossed their heads as they drove away from Yankton. Jesse knew they were sensing the roiling emotions running through him. How could Reverend Porter call himself a Christian, yet treat someone the way he’d treated Megan? There were places in Scripture talking about discipline in the church, but this wasn’t the way to handle it. Reverend Porter should have come to the house with Mr. Sparks in tow to talk to Megan, rather than confronting her in front of the whole congregation as if she were some common criminal unworthy of justice.
Besides, where had the esteemed Mr. Sparks been today? Wasn’t he a member of this church? If he didn’t even attend Sunday services, then Reverend Porter should certainly give Megan the benefit of the doubt, considering she and her family always attended when they could.
Truly Yours Historical Collection December 2014 Page 52