by E. L. Todd
His stature was the same, strong and straight. His chiseled arms were covered with veins, and his tanned skin looked tighter because of his activity in Africa. His muscle size had decreased, but he was as lean as ever. “You want to invite me inside before the interrogation begins?”
“Sure.” I opened the door wider and let him enter my apartment. When I shut the door, I was suddenly overwhelmed with relief. Pepper was on the other side of the world and would never know he was here. By the time she returned, he would be gone again. The timing couldn’t be more perfect. “You want something to drink? I think I’ve got—”
Finn grabbed me and pulled me into his chest. His hands gripped me hard as he brought me into a hug, squeezing me like it was the last time he would ever see me. His hand cupped the back of my head, then he patted me on the back before he released me. “It’s good to see you. I missed you, man.” He looked me in the eye as he said it, showing the kind of emotion Finn wasn’t known for.
“I missed you too…everything alright?”
He shrugged. “You said you have some scotch?”
“Uh…I might.” I stepped into the kitchen and looked through the cabinets until I found an old bottle he’d left behind. “You’re in luck.” I found a short glass then filled it completely, still processing the fact that my brother was standing in my apartment.
He looked around the apartment, like he expected to see something new. “I thought you and Tom would be living together by now.”
“In good time.” I carried the glass to him and handed it over.
He took a long drink then set it on the dining table beside him.
“So…are you in town for a week?” Hopefully, it wasn’t longer than that. It would be impossible for me to hide Finn from Pepper if he was at my apartment all the time. “It’s a pretty long flight, so hopefully you have more time than that.”
“I do.” He wiped his mouth with the back of his forearm.
“Oh?”
“I left the program.”
My eyebrows shot to the top of my forehead. “Wait…what? What do you mean, you left?”
“I left,” he said simply. “I gave up my position then got on the first plane home.”
“But why…?” That was his dream job. He wouldn’t give it up without reason.
“My heart wasn’t in it anymore.” He crossed his arms over his chest, his blue eyes filled with unquestionable pain. His gaze focused on the living room for several seconds before he turned back to me. “I wanted to come home.”
This still wasn’t adding up. “What about the position at the Mayo Clinic?”
“I forfeited that.”
“Seriously? So you just abandoned everything?”
He gave a single nod. “Yeah.”
“Again…why?”
“I told you my heart wasn’t in it anymore.”
“Then why did you leave in the first place?” Why did he break Pepper’s heart for something he didn’t want?
“Because I was stupid, Colt.” His eyes were full of self-loathing. “I was a fucking idiot.”
Our last conversation came back to me, when Finn told me he regretted leaving Pepper. He finally came to his senses, but he took way too long to figure out what he lost. His chances of fixing things were long gone. “You’re an even bigger idiot for coming back here. Pepper is not in the same place you are.”
“I knocked on her door, but she didn’t answer…” The pain intensified even more, like he knew exactly where she was—in bed with someone else.
“Because she’s in Fiji.”
Finn nearly did a double take when he heard what I said. “Fiji?”
“Her boyfriend took her on vacation in his private jet.”
Finn clenched his jaw and sighed. “What about the store?”
“He helped her adjust her business model and made it much more profitable. Now she has employees so she can take time off.”
He didn’t ask any more questions. Instead, he grabbed his scotch and took a long drink, nearly finishing the contents in one go. Then he set it aside and started to pace in my living room. His hands dragged down his face, and he sighed loudly, his shoulders slumping under an invisible weight.
I almost felt bad for him. “Finn, the guy she’s dating is—”
“Brutus Hemmingway. Yes, I know.”
“And how did you know that?”
He gave a simple answer. “The news.” He turned back to me, his arms still crossed over his chest.
He came back to Seattle even though he knew Pepper was dating the most eligible bachelor in the world. He either had a crazy amount of confidence, or he was just stupid. “Finn, I have a pretty low opinion of you because of what you did to Pepper, but my opinion will be even lower if you try to sabotage her relationship with Brutus. She’s really happy, Finn. Like, really happy. They are perfect together.”
He lowered his chin toward the floor. “Thanks for being so sensitive about it…”
I threw my arms down. “You left. You broke her heart. You left her to cry in my arms for months. Why should I feel bad for you? You’re the one who fucked up. You’re the one who thought a better guy wouldn’t pick her up. If you really want to waste your time trying to get her back, then fine. But I promise you, you aren’t going to get the happy ending you want. Pepper will never take you back—not ever.”
He kept his chin tilted toward the floor. “Be that as it may…this is my home.”
“What?”
“My house is here. My dog is here. My family is here. This is where I belong.”
“It wasn’t where you belonged six months ago,” I jabbed. “You had a fiancée, and you still left her.”
“And that was the biggest mistake of my life.” He lifted his gaze to meet mine, the emotion deep inside his look. “I’d give anything to go back in time and make the right decision. I spent months in Africa thinking I could go back to my old life and be who I used to be…but I can’t. I keep having dreams about Pepper…with a ring on her hand and a baby in her belly. I have to try to get her back…or at least get some closure.”
“All you’re going to do is give her revenge—the satisfaction of slamming the door in your face.”
He winced. “You really think she’d do that?”
I put my hands on my hips. “I really think you can’t compare to this guy, Finn.”
“Pepper doesn’t care about money.”
“That’s not all he has.” I started listing off his qualities. “He’s been divorced. He understands what it’s like to be left, so they have heartbreak in common. He knows she doesn’t care about money—that’s why he adores her. He couldn’t care less about her relationship with me. He couldn’t care less that the guy was she was married to is gay. And most importantly, this guy is smokin’ hot.”
Finn didn’t roll his eyes or make a joke about the last thing I said. He continued to stand there, staring at a different spot in my living room while his chest rose and fell with labored pain.
“They have a lot in common, Finn. She trusts him.”
He turned back to the table and grabbed the scotch. He took a long drink as his throat shifted and moved to get the booze in his stomach. When the glass was empty, he set it down with a distinguishable thud.
“You should see if you can get your position back in Africa. If it’s only been a few days, they might cut you some slack.”
“I’m not going back, Colt.”
“Then what are you going to do here? You don’t have a job or a place to live.”
“The renters left my house a few weeks ago. That’s where I’ll stay.”
“Oh…I thought you sold it.”
He shook his head. “The equity hadn’t risen high enough yet.”
“And what about work?”
“The ER took me back in a heartbeat. They are short on doctors, so they were happy to welcome me back.”
He left so easily, and now he returned so easily. So this was really happening. Just when Pepper f
inally found the right guy, Finn returned to Seattle to fuck it up. I rubbed my hand across my jaw and sighed, unsure how to handle this. I should give Pepper a heads-up so Finn didn’t appear on her doorstep and catch her off guard.
Finn studied me. “You hate that I’m here.” The tone of heartbreak was in his voice, and his pain was audible.
“I just want you to leave Pepper alone. I don’t think what you’re doing is right. I think it’s selfish. But you’ve always been selfish, so I guess it doesn’t surprise me…”
His eyes fell further. “Colt.”
My hands moved to my hips.
“I love her.”
I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes. “Whatever you say.”
“I do. I know I fucked up, but I love her. I have to try to make this right.”
“Look, this is the guy she’s gonna marry. You missed your chance. Get over it.” I’d never been so cold to someone, but I wanted to protect Pepper. The last thing I wanted her to do was throw away the perfect guy for a man who didn’t deserve her.
“She loves him?” His voice turned quiet, like he could barely get the words out.
I wanted to lie if that’s what it took to get him to back off, but I didn’t want to cross a line. “I don’t know. But I’ve seen them together…and it just feels right. I’m sorry that you’re in pain because you realized your mistake, but you have to live with the consequences. All you’re going to do is upset her, and you’ll never get what you want anyway.”
“Colt—”
“Do whatever you want, Finn. I obviously can’t change your mind.”
He stepped back and looked at the floor for a second before he raised his gaze and met my look. “I’m ready to be whatever she wants. If she wants to marry me, I’ll go down to the courthouse today. She wants babies, we’ll make them. I’m prepared to be whatever she wants…because I want those things too. I shouldn’t have left, but it took that experience to make me realize this is the only place I ever want to be.”
“And that would be fine if you were only gone for a few weeks or a month. But it took you six months to figure out your shit. I can only imagine how many women you slept with in the meantime…”
“One.”
“I didn’t ask, Finn,” I said bitterly. “And your answer should be zero.”
“So you aren’t going to help me with this at all?”
“No.” Finn was my flesh and blood, but Pepper was something more. “I like Brutus. If she even thinks about taking you back, I’ll remind her how much of an asshole you are. I’ll tell her that Brutus is the safer bet. I will always be rooting against you because I don’t think you deserve her. When you left, you didn’t just hurt Pepper. You hurt me too. You slept with my ex-wife behind my back, and just when I finally accepted you, you dump her. You took off to save the world, and I had to pick up the pieces of her broken heart—again.”
“You act like you’re a saint, when you’re the one who broke her heart the first time.”
“Wow…that’s low.”
“No, it’s true.”
“Finn, they aren’t comparable, and you know it. Say whatever you want to make yourself look better, but we both know you’re the lesser man.”
“Colt, I’m your brother.”
“Yeah…which is pretty sad.”
10
Pepper
Brutus carried my bags to my door. “I had a great time.”
“I had the best time.” I unlocked the door and stepped inside. “My skin is so tanned, I’m still a little drunk, and the sex…wow. I’ve never done it in a hot tub before.”
He set my bags on the couch and chuckled. “I’m glad I was your first.”
“Thanks for taking me. That was my first-ever vacation.”
“I’m glad I got to experience it with you.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me on the mouth.
“You know, you don’t have to do nice things like that for me. I’m happy just getting shakes at Mega Shake.”
“I know, babe. But I like spoiling you.” He kissed me again then pulled away. “I’d like to stay, but I’ve got piles of working waiting for me at my office. Maybe we can have dinner tomorrow.”
“Yeah, sure.”
The door flew open, and Colton appeared. “I thought I heard voices.”
Brutus chuckled. “Wow, that didn’t take long.” He hugged Colton.
“I can’t wait to hear about your trip,” Colton said. “And see all your pictures.” He came to me next and hugged me tightly.
“Brutus was just about to leave, so I’ll tell you about it.” I opened the front door and gave Brutus another kiss goodbye.
He squeezed my ass before he walked out. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye.” I waved while I watched him go, admiring his tight ass as he walked away. When he was gone, I shut the door. “So, what do you want to hear about first? The food or the sex?”
“I want to see more pictures of Brutus in a Speedo.”
I laughed then sat beside him, ignoring my bags on the floor so I could deal with them later. I pulled out my phone and told him all the details of the trip, flipping through the pictures and telling him about all the booze I had and the food that made my thighs expand.
He listened to everything, but as the minutes passed, he turned quiet, as if there was something on his mind. His eyes glossed over like he wasn’t listening to anything I said. He gave the occasional nod, inserting it in places in the conversation that didn’t really make any sense.
“I’m boring you.” I locked my phone and realized I was bragging too much. The last trip Colton ever took was our honeymoon. Maybe talking about a five-star trip on a private jet made him feel sad about his own life.
“No, you aren’t,” he said quickly. “I’ve just got something on my mind.”
“What?” I detected the sudden somberness in the room, like his sadness stemmed from a serious issue, not a spat with Zach about the last basketball game they played. “Come on, you can tell me. You know you can tell me anything.” Maybe he felt bad for ruining the high from my trip, but when I went to bed that night, I would just dread work in the morning, so it didn’t matter.
“Well…” He sighed. “I don’t even know how to say this. But I know I should because I don’t want you to be caught off guard and bombarded.”
“Okay…” What the hell was he talking about?
He turned quiet again, as if he were searching for the right words before he spoke them into the air between us. He looked at the blank TV for a while, the weight of the situation obvious in the look in his eyes. He took a deep breath before he spoke. “Finn is here…”
I hardly ever heard his name anymore, so it was always a small shock when it was mentioned. But it also didn’t make me pause. It didn’t make my heart rate spike. That man was part of my past, a mistake that caused me endless grief. But I was over him, accepting the fact that he was screwing other women in a different country without thinking about me at all. So it didn’t make me feel anything. “What’s the big deal? He had to visit sometime, right?” If we crossed paths, I wouldn’t make it awkward by pretending he didn’t exist. I’d known this day would come eventually, and I wouldn’t make it a big deal. I’d take the classy route. “We’re going to have to deal with each other eventually. It’s nothing to worry about.”
That didn’t console Colton whatsoever. “Well, he’s not here to visit. He’s here to stay…”
Since that was a curve ball, I didn’t know how to react. I assumed Finn would always be away from Seattle, whether it was in a different country or different state. So I didn’t know what to say. I stared at him for nearly a minute before my brain and mouth began to work together. “What do you mean, he’s here to stay?”
“He moved back to Seattle. He’s living in his old house. I guess he never sold it…just rented it out.”
He’d only been gone seven months, so why was he returning to his old life already? “But why?”
Now, I was stunned. Completely stunned.
I’d stopped thinking about Finn and assumed he’d stopped thinking about me a long time ago. Now he was in Seattle, and he wanted to get me back. He left me for seven months like it was so easy for him. But now he returned…
“I’ll let him tell you everything else. I just wanted you to have a warning. The last thing I wanted was for him to show up on your doorstep and catch you off guard.”
I was still speechless, unable to believe this was happening. I used to fantasize about this moment months ago, of him returning home when he realized he couldn’t live without me. But when three months came and went, I knew it would never happen. I moved on with my life.
“But I will say this.” Colton’s voice came out as a whisper. “Don’t take him back. He doesn’t deserve you, not after what he did. Brutus is the real deal. Brutus is the guy you should be focusing on. I know you loved Finn…but he didn’t love you in the same way.”
Ever since Colton told me about Finn, I’d been a walking zombie.
My thoughts were on Finn all the time, imagining the moment when he would make his move. Would he come to my apartment? Or would he stop by the shop in the middle of the day? Would he have new tattoos on his body that were inspired by his travels? Would he look different? Would he look the same?
I hadn’t anticipated this would ever happen. I didn’t know how I felt about it.
I wouldn’t really believe it until he said those words to my face.
Why did it take him seven months to figure out how he felt?
It should have only taken him a month, even less.
The high I felt from my vacation quickly evaporated in light of the explosion that was about to happen. Finn was in Seattle, living in the house where we fell in love. He was sleeping in the bed we used to share. My presence surrounded him, so he must be thinking about me every moment I thought about him.