by Diana Palmer
“Oh, Gannon,” she whispered, choking.
“Come here, waterspout,” he chuckled softly, drawing her down into his strong arms. “Don’t cry all over me—you’ll short-circuit my computer.”
“I’ll try,” she promised, cuddling close. “Gannon, you’re a nice man.”
“I suppose I can get used to being called that,” he sighed. “But bear with me, it’s very new.”
“Yes,” she agreed, laughing softly at the newness of being in his arms. “It is.”
“How about getting me a cup of coffee while I go through this report?” he asked. “As much as I hate having you out of my arms for that long…”
“I’ll be right back,” she promised, getting to her feet. She left him with the computer and walked dreamily into the kitchen to get his coffee.
Apparently his good humor even extended to Dirk, because later that week he invited his brother down to help him work out some details on the new sensory equipment. Dana took the opportunity to go into town and shop, with Lorraine’s guidance, for her wedding dress.
Dana’s eye was caught by a striking brunette who was going through the boutique’s collection of evening gowns, and she noticed Lorraine suddenly stiffening.
“Layn Dalmont!” the older woman gasped.
As if the tiny sound caught her attention, the willowy brunette turned, her dark eyes flashing as they recognized Gannon’s stepmother. She smiled, her attention shifting indifferently to Dana.
“Well, well, look who’s here!” Layn laughed, abandoning the dresses to float toward them, a vision in red chiffon.
“Hello, Layn,” Lorraine said tautly.
“Hello, Lorraine. And who’s this? The little fiancée I’ve heard about?” she added, giving Dana an amused scrutiny. “How fortunate for Gannon that he’s blind, honey, or he wouldn’t give you the time of day.”
It was what Dana knew already, but it stung to hear it put into words. She lifted her small face and smiled back. “How nice to meet you, Layn,” she said quietly. “I’ve heard all about you.”
The other woman started, as if she hadn’t expected such a polite reply, but she said nothing in return.
“How have you been, Layn?” Lorraine asked, also politely.
“Bored, darling” was the curt reply. “Life without Gannon is very dull. How is he, by the way? Still mourning me?”
“Hardly, when he’s about to be married,” the elderly woman said with sweet venom.
“On the rebound, no doubt,” the willowy brunette said, with a cold smile at Dana.
“You’re welcome to come to the ceremony,” Dana invited, smiling back. “Any friend of Gannon’s, as the saying goes…”
Layn cleared her throat. “I have other commitments. I’ll be sure to send you a wedding present.” Her cold eyes went to Dana’s cheek. “Perhaps some veils…?” She turned and strode away, leaving Lorraine gasping.
“Oh, that woman!” Gannon’s stepmother burst out. “How cruel!”
“How true,” Dana corrected, unruffled. “Please, don’t let it upset you. She may be troubled by her own conscience, and I can take care of myself, you know.”
Lorraine visibly relaxed. “Yes, I’ve noticed that. Even Gannon doesn’t get the best of you, my dear.” She laughed. “It was delightful to see that Layn didn’t either.”
“I see what Dirk meant, though. She does remind me of a barracuda,” she added unkindly, with a small laugh. “We’d better get home. I can shop for dresses another day, when the vibrations are a little less hostile. All right?”
“If you like, Dana. I’m sorry Layn spoiled this for you.”
She shrugged. “I let her spoil it. Anyway, we haven’t even set a date for the wedding yet, so it’s no loss.”
As they drove home, though, that realization began to bother her. Gannon hadn’t liked to talk about actual dates, as if he were reluctant to set one. Perhaps he was no more sure of success than she was. Perhaps he really did miss Layn and regretted proposing to Dana. Layn was right about one thing: sighted, he’d never have preferred his plain little nurse to the other woman.
She steered away from the study when they got home and sought the solace of the beach instead. Her mind was troubled. Gannon had seemed to brood a great deal. Lately she hadn’t been too concerned about that until that day—until she’d seen Layn. But what if he was regretting his hasty proposal? What if he’d only been searching for a way to keep Dana with him, and marriage was the only way he’d found?
He didn’t act like a man in love; he’d admitted that he wasn’t. He’d told her that he had nothing to offer except companionship, affection. Would that be enough to last them all their lives? What if he regained his sight? How would he react to being tied to a woman who paled when compared to his beautiful Layn?
She stood watching the waves crash onto the beach and she knew all at once that she couldn’t go through with it. She couldn’t marry him. But how was she going to go back into his study and tell him?
She’d have to leave. There was no choice about that. She’d have to go back to Ashton and find a job. She’d have to face her relatives….
Oddly enough, the grief over her mother’s death was subsiding in the wake of her problems here with Gannon. She still felt an ache, a cold place deep inside that held loss and grief. But it was all beginning to fall into place. She was coming to grips with her own guilt, with the blame she’d transferred to her father, to the overreaction to her aunt’s tactless remark. She seemed to have gone a little mad after the accident and was just now putting the pieces of her mind back together. Going home was no longer the terror it had been.
But still there was the problem of Gannon, the unwanted task ahead of explaining to him why she couldn’t go through with the wedding. And along with it was the prospect of living her whole life without him. She closed her eyes, burning up with the love she felt for the big, bad-tempered man. She’d never felt so secure and safe in her life as she had with him, needing nothing more than his company, the pleasure of looking at him, holding his hand. Living without him was going to be almost as bad as losing her mother. How was she going to bear it? And most of all, how was she going to tell him?
She heard her name being bellowed from the steps that led to the beach from the house, and she smiled at the familiar voice that was audible above the crashing surf.
Barefoot, she joined him, her hair loose, and as she caught sight of his calm, relaxed face all her good intentions deserted her. Let tomorrow take care of itself, she decided. It would, and God would guide her steps. He always had, after all.
“Dana!”
“I’m here,” she said, moving close. “I was just walking.”
He smiled. “Walk with me, then. I’ve had all I can take of business for one day.” He held out his hand, and she took it, feeling secure and warm all over at just his touch.
“I thought you were going to catch up on all the loose ends,” she murmured.
He chuckled, a relaxed sound that pleased her ears. “I had good intentions. The drawback to the audio devices are that they wear you out. A sighted person can look back over a page of figures, but I had to do it by listening. It gets very repetitious.”
“The new devices are just the same, aren’t they?” she asked.
“They are. It’s one of the drawbacks. But it’s the best thing we have, to date.”
“That new aid you mentioned, the one that reads printed material—was it your company that developed it?” she asked.
“We were one of several companies to hit upon the technology together, although we weren’t the first to produce and market it,” he told her. He grinned. “What is it they say, Dana, about great minds running in the same direction?”
She laughed with him, leaning companionably against his arm as they walked. He was so tremendous, so good to lean against, to depend on.
“Did you find your wedding gown?” he asked after a minute.
The question brought back unpleasant memorie
s. “Not yet,” she said quietly. “I’ll go and look some more another day.”
He scowled in her direction. “What happened?” he asked curtly, immediately certain that something was wrong. “Come on, don’t hedge. What happened?”
“We…we saw Layn Dalmont at the shop,” she said after a minute.
He stiffened, as if he’d been slapped. “Did you?”
His own posture betrayed him, and she turned away to stick her hands in the pockets of her jeans while she watched the ocean. “She’s very lovely,” she said.
“Yes, she is.” His head was cocked to one side, his arms folded across his massive chest. “What did she say to you?”
“Very little,” she replied honestly. “Mostly that she was bored to death without you.”
He smiled faintly. “I’m not surprised. I spent a lot of money keeping her happy.”
Her eyes closed, and she was glad that he couldn’t see her face. “Layn had heard that we were getting married.”
That brought his head up attentively. “Did she? What did she say?”
Dana laughed. “She said she’d buy us a wedding present,” she said, without mentioning the cruel way the other woman had put it.
“That doesn’t sound like the Layn I know,” he murmured. His eyes searched for her. “Where are you?”
“Here,” she said, moving closer to him.
He caught her by the waist and drew her to him. “Did she bother you? I forget how unworldly you are. Layn can be dangerous.”
“I can take care of myself,” she reminded him. Her eyes studied his dark face. Was he regretting it all? Was he mourning for Layn?
“That’s going to be my pleasure from now on.” He suddenly lifted her clear off the ground so that her eyes were on a level with his sightless ones. “Kiss me, Dana.”
Without thinking, she leaned forward and pressed her mouth very softly against his. He let her take the initiative, standing quietly while she savored the cool firmness of his lips against her own.
“You’re very cool, darling,” he whispered softly. “Mad at me?”
Her heart jumped at the endearment as well as the question. “No, of course not,” she assured him.
“Then kiss me as if you mean it, Dana,” he said, “not as if you’re doing an unpleasant duty. Unless…” He frowned. “…unless it really is unpleasant?”
“Silly man,” she whispered adoringly. She kissed him again, harder this time, lingering over his firm mouth until she felt the tension drain out of him, felt the warm response of his lips, the gentle hunger of his enclosing arms.
“Better?” she teased gently, clinging to him.
“Much better,” he murmured, rubbing noses. “But that’s enough of that,” he added with a hard sigh, setting her firmly back on her feet. “I’m no saint.”
She smiled. “You’re doing very well for a man who isn’t.”
“Yes, aren’t I?” he growled. He found her hand and held it warmly as they started walking again. “Dana, you do realize that things will be…different…when we’re man and wife? I won’t have a marriage of convenience at my age.”
“I understand,” she agreed. “I don’t want an artificial marriage, either. I…I’d like to have children.” Daydreams. Wonderful daydreams. She was refusing to face facts and she knew it, but wasn’t she allowed to dream just a little?
His hand contracted painfully. “Children,” he whispered. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“Don’t you want a son?” she teased. “I thought most men did.”
“Of course I do,” he growled, jerking her close to his side. “It’s just that I hadn’t expected…my wife didn’t want them—did Lorraine tell you? She didn’t want the inconvenience.”
She smiled. “Perhaps if I were beautiful and gay and worldly….”
“No,” he returned. “I think I know you quite well by now. No, it wouldn’t matter. You’d have your own and a dozen orphans besides, wouldn’t you, and never count the cost. You’d love the whole world if it would let you.”
“You make me sound saintly, and I’m not,” she countered. “I’m only—”
“—a woman,” he finished for her. “Yes, I know. But what a woman!” he added, bending to brush his lips over her forehead. “No regrets? Will you be sorry that I can’t see our children?”
Her heart stampeded at the sound of that. Our children. She smiled. “No,” she whispered. “I’ll describe them to you in minute detail. You won’t miss a thing.”
His jaw tautened. He stopped, dragging her into his arms, and kissed her suddenly, hungrily, shocking her into a wild response of her own.
He released her all at once and moved away. “I’m sorry,” he said curtly. “It was thinking about children…. We’d better go back in. I feel odd.”
“Are you all right?” she asked quickly, full of concern.
“Just my head. Dana, the headaches are so much worse lately,” he said pensively as they turned back toward the house. “I’m taking more and more medication, hadn’t you noticed?”
She had, but she was trying not to show too much concern. “We’d better call Dr. Shane, just to play it safe, don’t you think?” she asked calmly. “It’s probably just the hours you’ve been putting in lately. More stress. It’s perfectly natural.”
He seemed to calm at her own easy manner. “Yes, that’s probably what it is.”
“But we’ll have him check you over. I’ll call first thing in the morning.”
He nodded. “Now, no more about doctors. Let’s talk about houses. Where would you like to live?”
They spent the rest of the evening talking vaguely about houses and cities and holidays and schools for the children when they came along. But Dana didn’t sleep well. The headaches weren’t natural, and Gannon had to know it. They were playing a game, and she was afraid of the outcome.
The next morning she called Dr. Shane and described Gannon’s symptoms. He asked her to bring in her fiancé that afternoon and let him run some more tests.
She drove him to the office and sat in the waiting room while the two of them talked. Gannon reappeared, taciturn and irritable, directing her to the hospital, where he was to be admitted overnight while Dr. Shane had the tests performed. Dana was concerned about that, and she had a suspicion that something was wrong. But Dr. Shane wouldn’t talk to her, and neither would Gannon, since she was now in the position of a fiancée, not a nurse.
Lorraine paced with her, worried with her. But when the test results were in and Gannon was released from the hospital, he told no one what had been found. In desperation Dana called Dr. Shane, only to be told that what he’d found was privileged information, but that she needn’t worry, he was certain everything would be fine.
She approached Gannon, but he wasn’t talking. He only smiled and kissed her and told her that there was a chance, just a slight one, that his sight might come back. And then she knew what was wrong with him. He was going to see again—but he didn’t want to be saddled with her when it happened. He wanted Layn, and now there was a chance he could get her back. But only if Dana was out of the way.
She imparted that information to Lorraine, who laughed at her.
“You’re being ridiculous, dear,” she chided. “He wouldn’t want Layn now, not after the way she treated him. Don’t be silly. He loves you!”
But he didn’t. He’d already admitted it. And now Dana was worried, terribly worried. How was she going to survive if he sent her away? She loved him so much, how was she going to let go?
Chapter Eight
Dirk came down for the next weekend, and Gannon welcomed him with unusual fervor.
“I’m glad you came,” he said, thumping his brother on the back. “You can keep Dana and Lorraine company while I work on the visual aid with Al Pratt. He should be here any minute.”
“Shame on you,” Dirk chided. “A newly engaged man…”
Gannon looked briefly uncomfortable, bearing out Dana’s suspicions that he hated b
eing engaged to her, newly or not. “I know, but time is money where this new device is concerned. We’ve got some innovative ideas we want to work up before somebody beats us to the punch. Oh, and I’ve invited a guest for Sunday dinner, Lorraine,” he added.
“Anyone I know, dear?” Lorraine asked without looking up from her needlepoint.
“Yes. Layn.”
There was a silence in the room so utterly sudden that the sound of the woman’s name seemed to echo endlessly. Dana closed her eyes, feeling her heart shatter. It was true. Now she knew it was true.
“In that case,” Dirk said quietly, “I think Dana and I will drive down to Savannah for the day on Sunday.”
Gannon started to speak, stopped and smiled faintly. “Perhaps that would be just as well. You might take Lorraine with you. And you might stop sounding so suspicious while you’re about it,” he added, the Dutch accent emphasizing itself. “It’s business. Layn and I have investments together in a shipping company. We’re going to discuss stock and expansion. That’s all. I haven’t forgotten my own engagement.”
“I’m so relieved to hear it,” Dirk said curtly. “If it is an engagement.”
Gannon blinked. “I beg your pardon?”
“Dana isn’t wearing a ring,” he observed, “and I haven’t heard any mention of a wedding date.”
Gannon coughed. “There hasn’t been time. I’ve been busy.”
“Sure,” Dirk said shortly. He jammed his hands into his pockets. “Dana, care to go for a walk with me? Pratt’s just driven up, and I know Gannon will have other things on his mind.”
“Of course,” she said in a ghostly tone. “Lorraine, would you like to come with us Sunday? Maybe we could go back to see Katy and Maude?”
“I’d like that,” Lorraine said, struggling for composure.
While they discussed times and plans, Pratt came in to join Gannon, and the two of them vanished into the study behind the closed door.
Dirk was outspoken about the Sunday dinner and angrier than Dana had seen him since they became acquainted.