“I don’t think you have your priorities right,” she says. “That ambulance is taking Anna back to the hospital.”
“Who the hell do you think you are, thinking you can dictate what goes on in my house?”
“I love Anna,” she says.
He’s so close to losing it, to ripping her head off. “Don’t say those words about my wife, you preying old lesbian.”
He wants to hurt her with his words instead of his fists but Sebastian and Lukas, who must have heard the commotion, are making their way downstairs. He needs the boys to love him. I’m a sensible man, I can control myself.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Iris says to them. “An ambulance is coming for Mummy. Can you please keep an eye out through the window for me?”
They’re visibly distressed by the sound of ‘ambulance’ and Sebastian is immediately by his mother’s side. Lukas, however, does as he’s told, taking up his position by the window. Erik feels the blood heating up again. This woman cannot order his children around.
“Don’t talk to my children! Don’t you fucking dare. Just get out!”
“Or what?”
She’s not afraid of him. At school he preferred to bully than to be bullied, but Iris seems immune to his scare tactics. She’s right, though. What can he do to her? Then he realises what will hurt her.
“It’s too late for an ambulance,” he says.
Chapter 83 – Daniel
There’s an ambulance outside Anna’s house. Dan gets off his bike and runs through the crowd that’s starting to gather around. People are so nosy.
“Anna!”
There’s an argument going on at the back of the ambulance. Erik and that woman from the library are trying to push each other out of the way. The boys are there too, crying. Dan walks up to them.
“I’m going in the ambulance,” the woman says.
“She’s my wife. So clearly I’m going.”
“You don’t give a damn about her. Get away from her.”
“No one goes with her,” the paramedic says and closes the door. “You can drive to the hospital separately but I suggest you set aside your differences before you get there.”
“What’s happening?” Dan asks the guy. “Is she okay?”
But there seems to be no time to answer his questions. The paramedic gets into the passenger seat and they drive off.
“What’s happening, Erik?” Dan asks.
Erik’s eyes are burning into him. So he lied about his name, big deal. Surely they can make up?
“Stay the fuck away from us, creep.”
Apparently they can’t. But the boys, they must still like him?
“Sebastian, Lukas?”
Lukas runs up to him but Sebastian is holding onto his dad’s leg.
“Mummy is really sick,” Lukas cries.
Dan picks him up and hugs him.
“Come on, buddy, everything is going to be fine.”
“Don’t touch him,” Erik says. “David, I mean Daniel, hurt Mummy.”
“I didn’t.”
The Nissan dude came to Dan’s rescue. He had apparently passed by their house that night and he verified that Dan was there. Frida had been Rolf’s alibi and now Rolf was his. It was like a full circle of bullshitters helping each other but so what? He was in the clear.
The woman marches across to a red car and Dan runs after her, still holding on to Lukas.
“Are you going to the hospital?” he asks. “Can I go with you?”
She stops and surveys him. “Who are you?”
“Daniel.”
“Are you the student who tried to blackmail Anna?”
Oh, shit. “Sorry, yeah, but I didn’t mean any harm.”
“Really? Well, I have no space for you.”
The woman drives off but Erik is still there. He’s picked Sebastian up now and he clings to his father like a koala bear.
“What’s wrong with Anna?” Dan asks.
“Don’t know.”
Then why isn’t he driving like a mad man to the hospital to find out? Erik seems paralysed. Is he in shock?
“Let’s go,” Dan says. “You drive and I’ll go with you.”
“Sorry, pal, not happening.”
“Okay, how about we all go inside and calm down then?”
“You’re not coming into my house.” Erik turns to Lukas. “Come here, son.”
Lukas shakes his head sullenly. “Don’t want to.”
“Lukas. Here. Now!”
Erik’s face is stern but Lukas refuses. Eventually Erik comes up to Dan and tries to take Lukas from him but it’s not easy with Sebastian still clinging to him.
“He doesn’t want to,” Dan says. “Leave him be. He’s okay. I can hold him.”
“I want you to go.”
Dan doesn’t. They stand on the street for ages, both holding a child, trying to stare each other down. No one interferes but at some point a car pulls up next to them.
“It must be here to get you,” Erik says. “After you escaped the last time.”
Dan wants to run but he can’t leave Lukas. Equally, he can’t bring him. That would be kidnapping.
“Erik.” It’s Gerda, Anna’s mother. Her hair swept back in a bun, the glasses heavy on her nose. “Anna called me last night and she didn’t sound happy so I have driven all the way here.”
“Hello,” Dan says.
“This is Daniel,” Erik says. “Not David. Daniel is the student who made Anna’s life hell.”
What? He didn’t do that.
Gerda steps up to them and asks the children to join her.
“Come,” she says. “Why don’t we get some juice inside with Mummy.”
“She’s not there,” Sebastian says. “The ambulance took her to the hospital.”
Gerda looks at Erik. “What happened?”
“Just go inside,” he says. “I’ll explain in a minute. Everything is fine. I just need to take care of something first.”
It’s not fine, but the boys do as they’re told and Dan is left feeling naked without the warmth of Lukas’s little body holding onto him.
“I didn’t make Anna’s life hell,” he tells Erik. “I love her.”
“You love her?” Erik scoffs. “That’s ridiculous. She would never be interested in a nobody like you!”
That’s when Dan loses it, even if it’s in plain view of the neighbours. He needs to eliminate this man from earth, this man who stands in his way of happiness, and now also mocks him.
He throws himself onto Erik, but Erik grabs hold of his neck and flings him onto the ground like he’s made of paper. Dan is completely shocked; what the hell happened? He can’t move. His legs are kicking and his hands are trying to push himself back up but Erik is strong, his grip firm. He struggles to breathe.
“Please…” Dan says. “Help…”
“Leave him alone,” a woman shouts and a man grabs hold of Erik’s shoulders, but he’s strong and easily shakes the man off.
Erik continues what he’s started: a knee pushes into Dan’s back; a fist comes slamming down on the side of his head. Once, twice, three times.
Someone cries out that they’ve called the police, but are they bluffing? Erik appears unaffected, and Dan tries his best to get to Erik using his elbows. Please stop!
“You are never going to see her again,” Erik shouts.
“I won’t,” Dan says, but he’s not sure Erik hears him.
The blows continue and pinned to the ground, Dan starts to give up. What’s the point? Nobody loves me anyway. He closes his eyes and imagines what it will be like to be dead. Will anyone attend his funeral? That’s when screeching tyres bring him back to the present, a murmur running through the crowd. The pressure on his body lightens and the air flows back into his lungs. Freed, Dan quickly turns around to blue flashing lights and tries to stand up. His legs just won’t cooperate. At least Erik is finally being pulled away from him, two police officers handcuffing his hands behind his back.
&n
bsp; “Erik Berg, you are under arrest for the attack on your wife, Anna Berg.”
Erik tries to break free, grunting, the rage out of control. Like a bear struggling against the restraints.
“I read your disgusting journal,” Erik yells at Dan. “But guess what? She’s dead.”
Epilogue
“Apparently Pernilla writes to him every week. She’s not working at day care anymore though. Thank goodness.”
“Have the children visited their father in prison?”
“Yes.”
“How are they coping?”
“They have to get used to seeing him incarcerated. On a good note, they’re excited about moving to a new house and having their own bedrooms, although they’re fighting about who should have the bigger room!”
“Have you spoken to him?”
“Well… yes. I felt it was the right thing to do, for the children.”
“What did he say?”
“Believe it or not, he felt insulted that the police had been watching him! They told me he had been making enquiries at the insurance company recently, asking about ‘what-if’ scenarios. The day he drugged the coffee, he also called day care about report cards for the children, should they move abroad. Abroad? Can you believe it? Anyway, he was starting to get overly confident I think, with first Rolf, then Daniel, being arrested. The important thing for me is, that they never completely trusted him. I wish other people had felt that way too, including myself.”
“Speaking of Daniel, how is he? Has anyone spoken to him?”
“Yes, he’s moving to a small town south of Malmö. His mother is in AA and has a new job. This time, he says, he actually wants to move.”
“That’s good. What about you?”
“The children are my priority.”
“And you?”
“I’m glad to be alive, thanks to you.”
A man enters the room.
“Are you both ready to sign?”
The two women nod. Together they say: “One mortgage, no life insurance and no regrets.”
“We intend to live our lives to the fullest,” Iris says to the man.
“Eh, good for you,” he says. “But I really just need your signatures.”
They sign and leave the bank, holding hands. Outside the sun is shining.
“It’s good to be outside, but we need to pick the children up.”
“I’d better get used to that,” Iris says. “When you’re running late, I guess I’ll be picking them up.”
Anna plans to go back to school after the summer. “Don’t fix what isn’t broken,” as Kent rightly pointed out. “You love your job.”
“What if your bookshop is busy?” she asks Iris.
“That’s the pleasure of owning it. I can close it for thirty minutes!”
Anna stops in the middle of the crowded street. She looks at this woman who makes her feel alive, and kisses her for all to see. Love overshadows pain. She’s able to walk, she’s able to talk, she’s able to think and read and raise her children.
Anything is possible.
We hope you enjoyed this book!
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Acknowledgements
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Acknowledgements
There are so many people I would like to thank. First of all, my incredibly charismatic agent Luigi Bonomi whose enthusiasm and creative genius never ceases to amaze me. To the very best editor a girl could hope for: the wonderfully talented Sarah Ritherdon who is fabulous to work with. Copy editor Paul King, for his attention to detail – thank you!
I would also like to thank the Emirates Airline Festival of Literature (EAFOL) and Montegrappa for creating the Montegrappa Prize for First Fiction. Thank you to Isobel Abulhoul, Yvette Judge and the whole team at EAFOL, as well as Charles Nahhas.
Thank you to Alison Bonomi, Angela Chadwick and Gwenhwyfar Dunne for reading my book and providing valuable feedback, and to Danielle Zigner for coming up with the brilliant title When I Wake Up.
Research for this book was made easier thanks to Jörgen Winberg, Linda Schönbäck, Maria Jalakas and Jennie Eng. Any mistakes or liberties with the truth have, however, been made or taken by the author!
Without the support of friends, this book wouldn’t be possible. I would especially like to thank Lotta Lindman, Teresia Stedt, Katarina Fröberg, Margareta Lindberg, Anna Janson, Annika Roslund, Anna Bromley, Sara Berger, Tobias Schildfat, Nicola Gregory, Lulu Mahaini, Sigrid Combüchen, Thérese Granwald, Brandy Scott, Mikaela Théssen, Erica Siri, Annabel Kantaria (and the Green Suitcase Book Club), Cheryl Murree, Göran and Kerstin Larsson, for believing that I could do this. Also, thank you to my parents and my brother and his family for cheering me on. If you’re not mentioned but you’re in my life, that means you inspire me and for that I am very grateful.
To my wonderful husband, Mark, who is always supportive of anything I take on, and to our beautiful children who I hope are inspired to go after their dreams. I love you all.
Finally, to Aria and Head of Zeus – I am so grateful that you believed in this book, and to all the readers out there! If it weren’t for you, there most definitely wouldn’t be a book. Thank you!
Jessica Jarlvi
About Jessica Jarlvi
Born in Sweden, JESSICA JARLVI moved to London at the age of 18 to obtain a BSc Hons degree in Publishing and Business. She worked in publishing in the UK for a number of years before heading to Chicago where she edited a magazine for expats. Back in Sweden, she completed a Masters in Creative Writing. Since 2010, Jessica has taught journalism and media at a local university, and has spent the last five years as the marketing and PR manager for a British firm. Last year, she was one of the winners in the Montegrappa Prize for First Fiction at the Emirates Airline Festival of Literature. Jessica is married with three spirited children, and although she’s known for her positivity, her writing tends to be rather dark!
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Addictive Fiction
First published in the UK in 2017 as an eBook by Aria, an imprint of Head of Zeus Ltd
Copyright © Jessica Jarlvi, 2017
The moral right of Jessica Jarlvi to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
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A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN (E) 9781786695451
Aria
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When I Wake Up Page 36