by Priya Grey
I lean in and kiss her, savoring the taste of her lips against mine. I embrace her in my arms and hold her tightly. “All your dreams are coming true, Ashley,” I whisper. “And you deserve it.”
I push a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. I marvel at the beautiful woman I am lucky enough to call my wife. And hopefully, soon, I can also call her the mother of my child. We haven’t had any luck getting pregnant – not yet – but I’m praying that we’ll soon be welcoming a child into our lives.
We just need to keep having sex until it happens. Which, lucky for me, I can never get enough of with Ashley.
I kiss her again, and soon that same desire I felt years ago in this park comes rushing back. And just like that moment years ago, I can’t hold back the relentless need to love her – right here, right now, in the park.
“Where are we going?” she asks as I lead her off the paved walkway, into a secluded spot near a quiet stream. I lean her against a tree and kiss her again. My hands cup her breasts through the fabric of her dress. Then they start trailing downward toward her bare legs.
“I need to be inside you,” I growl into her ear.
“Then what are you waiting for,” she whispers back. She searches for my belt in the darkness and quickly unclasps it. She unzips my pants and grabs hold of my cock. She gives it a nice firm tug, springing it to life. I let out an appreciative growl. I slide my hands underneath her dress, and slip her panties off so they drop toward her ankles. She steps out of them and quickly turns around. I lift her dress over her hips, exposing her bare bottom to me. I press one of my fingers into her sex. It slides in so easily. She’s wet and ready for me.
“I’m going to need more than your finger,” she begs, looking back over her shoulder with a wicked smirk.
She knows just what I like to hear. I look around to make sure no one can see us. There’s no one in sight. It’s just us, in the park, in the middle of the night. I grab hold of the base of my cock and step forward. I gently press myself inside her. She widens her stance to accommodate my girth.
“After all these years,” she says with a groan, “I still love having you inside me.”
I grab onto her hips and begin thrusting myself inside her. She leans forward, against the tree. With each successive thrust, her moans grow more pleasurable…and louder.
“You feel amazing, Jackson. Don’t stop,” she gushes.
There’s nothing better than fucking outdoors, in public. I love being surrounded by nature – and doing the most natural thing on the planet, which is making love to the woman I adore. The only thing I might enjoy more is having sex with Ashley on my sailboat– out in the middle of the ocean. I can’t wait for that memory. But let me enjoy this one first.
Ashley’s pussy is so sleek that it turns me on even more than I already am. I continue filling her with my manhood. She pushes her hips back, so she can feel every inch of me inside her.
“I fucking love your cock, Jackson,” she groans.
“Good,” I moan. “Because it belongs to you.”
We continue pressing our bodies against each other, a mutual orgasm building between us.
But then things take an unexpected turn.
I hear a loud thunderclap.
I look up.
The heavens have parted.
It starts pouring rain! Within seconds, Ashley and I are drenched to the bone.
This isn’t what happened years ago! This isn’t part of the memory! It never rained! This isn’t what I remember!
Chapter Thirty-Six
Rebecca
“Don’t stop! Don’t stop!” I gush as I feel the damn inside me about to break. He feels amazing. His cock is perfect. And any second now, I’m about to be in the grips of another earth-shattering orgasm.
Then I hear the roar of thunder from up above – and suddenly – it starts to rain…hard! But I don’t care. All I care about is how wonderful he feels inside me and the orgasm I’m about to experience…any second now…any second now. It’s coming. I can feel it about to shoot through my body.
Then he stops. He pulls out. And the tide recedes. The bliss I was eagerly anticipating dissipates – gone, melts away. I was so close to coming.
I quickly turn around, wondering what’s wrong. He’s never stopped like this before. Usually, Jackson fucks me until I orgasm – not just once, but two or three times. I don’t want to sound greedy, but I was so close!
Then I notice the look in his eyes. He’s frustrated. Angry even. I’ve never seen him like this.
“What’s wrong?” I ask as the rain pours down on us. I notice my nipples peeking out from underneath my soaked summer dress.
“What’s wrong?” He repeats sarcastically. “This!” He waves to the sky and the rain that is drenching us to the bone. “This isn’t how I remember it. Everything is ruined,” he mutters. He buckles up his pants.
“We don’t have to stop,” I plead. “It’s just rain.”
He vehemently shakes his head, really angry. “It didn’t rain when we were here. This isn’t how I remember it. This isn’t what happened!”
“We can create a better memory,” I beg him as I lift up my panties.
He shakes his head again. “No. Things have to be exactly the way they were. They have to be perfect. Just like her.”
When I see the tortured look in his eyes – his anger over something as innocent as the rain – I finally realize how dangerous this is for Jackson.
All night, I’ve been conflicted about when to tell him the truth – when to tell him what I discovered in Ashley’s diary. I’ve hesitated because I don’t want what we have to end. I love being with Jackson. But seeing him this upset over something that’s uncontrollable like the weather, has made me realize I have to tell him – now. I care about him too much to see him this tortured. It’s just not healthy.
“She wasn’t perfect,” I shout.
“What?” he shouts back above the rain.
I run to him and tug on his shirt. I look into his dark, penetrating eyes.
“Ashley… she wasn’t perfect.”
“What are you talking about?” he asks.
I look down at the ground and take a deep breath.
“I found her diary.”
He shakes his head. “Ashley didn’t keep a diary.”
“I can show it to you. It was behind your dresser. Jackson, she was hiding something from you.”
“Ashley didn’t hide anything from me. We had an open and honest relationship.”
I take another deep breath and continue. “It’s all there in her diary. She wasn’t the person you thought she was.”
As I get closer to revealing the truth, I feel a queasy feeling overwhelm me.
“What are you talking about?” he repeats, gripping my shoulders.
I don’t want to continue but I know I must. I can’t let Jackson continue to live a lie. As the rain continues pouring down, I finally muster the courage and tell him the truth about Ashley.
“That’s bullshit!” he roars. “Ashley wouldn’t do that.”
“It’s in her diary,” I sigh. “She wrote it all down. She was cheating on you for a long time.”
Jackson doesn’t know how to respond. I watch as a violent storm of emotions overwhelms his face and eyes.
“You’re lying!” he shouts back at me.
I see how hurt he is, and it makes me want to cry. I shake my head and whisper, “I wish I was.” Then I take another deep breath. I need to tell Jackson the whole truth. “That’s not all she was lying about,” I confess.
Jackson stares at me with that wounded, hurt expression. This is breaking his heart. I can see it. He doesn’t want to hear any more…but he has to know everything, no matter how painful it may be.
“What else?”
When I tell Jackson the other secret I discovered in the diary, his fists clench.
He’s glaring at me – angry and hurt to have finally discovered the uncomfortable truth about his wife.
“I’m so sorry.” I try to embrace him in my arms. But Jackson doesn’t want me anywhere near him. He pushes me away and turns around, storming off into the night, into the rain.
I watch as he disappears, leaving me in the park, alone.
I don’t know where he’s going or what he’s going to do. All I know is I needed to tell him the truth, no matter how painful it must be. His memories weren’t accurate. They were built on lies.
I lower my head and quietly make my way out of the park. The rain starts to lighten up, but it’s already too late. I’m drenched to the bone, and my dress is soaked and clinging to my body.
After several failed attempts, I finally manage to hail a taxi and go home.
I step into my apartment. Kristi is sitting on the couch and watching a movie. She’s enjoying one of the muffins I recently baked. She takes one look at me and realizes things did not go well.
Before joining her on the couch, I walk to the bathroom and get undressed, wrapping a dry towel around me. When I head back to the living room, Kristi breaks off a piece of her chocolate chip muffin and hands it to me.
“You did the right thing,” she says. “He had to know the truth.”
“Then why do I feel so awful?” I admit.
“Because sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t make you feel good.” She comforts me with a big hug.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Jackson
When I step out of the park, the rain is still pouring down. I don’t bother waving down a taxi or calling a car service. I need to walk. I need to prepare myself before I get to my destination. I must look like a madman, but I don’t care. As I slug through the city, I keep replaying what Rebecca told me over and over again in my mind.
Did Ashley deceive me? Were my memories built on lies? I don’t want to believe what Rebecca told me. I loved Ashley so much… but what if it’s true? Could I have been in love with someone I never really knew? Rebecca says there’s a diary. Why would she make that up? I remember the honest look in her eyes as she delivered the painful news. She didn’t want to tell me any of this, but felt she had to.
There’s only one way to confirm all of this.
As I keep walking, deep down – in my core – I slowly start to accept what Rebecca revealed. Maybe one day I’ll thank her for it, but right now I’m too angry…too hurt.
After twenty minutes, I arrive at my destination. I press the button on the intercom and wait.
“Who is it?”
“It’s me. Let me up.”
The door unlocks and I head straight toward the elevator. I punch the button calling the elevator several times because it takes forever to arrive. When it finally opens on the lobby floor, an older woman steps out and notices my appearance. I’m soaked to the bone and dripping water everywhere.
“Looks like you really got stuck in it?” she teases.
I ignore her and step into the elevator. I punch the number to the fourteenth floor.
The elevator is painfully slow. When I finally arrive on the fourteenth floor, I hurry toward Harry’s apartment. I bang on the door.
“Haven’t you heard of an umbrella?” Harry says jokingly when he answers the door.
I don’t bother with a response. I just jam my fist right into his jaw. He falls back onto the floor, in the foyer of his apartment. His wife and twelve-year-old daughter suddenly run out of the kitchen.
“Oh my God,” cries his wife. “Harry, what’s going on?”
Harry looks up at me, nursing his jaw. I point my finger at him. “Is it true?” I yell at him.
“Dad, is everything all right?” his daughter asks, standing beside his wife.
“Everything’s fine,” Harry says to them. “Jackson and I just need to have a little talk.”
Harry slowly gets up on his feet and approaches me. “Let’s talk outside,” he says in a hushed tone.
We leave his apartment.
“Is it true?” I shout at him as we step into the elevator.
“Let’s just talk when we get outside,” Harry insists. “I don’t want to make a scene where I live.”
“Fuck that,” I yell at him. “Is it true, Harry?”
Harry takes a moment to respond. Then he hangs his head and nods.
My stomach drops.
“How did you find out?” he asks, finally looking up at me.
I shake my head as a wave of nausea hits me. I think I’m going to be sick.
The realization that Ashley was cheating on me with my best friend is just too much to bear. My heart almost stops beating.
“How did you find out?” Harry asks again.
I glare at him. Then grab him by the shirt and shove him against the wall of the elevator. “Why does it matter how I found out? You were sleeping with her. How could you do that to me?!”
Harry doesn’t say anything, he just looks away.
“For how long?” I ask, slamming him against the wall again. A lump is forming in my throat as the painful truth overwhelms me.
“Two years,” he mutters. “On and off.”
Two years! Ashley was cheating on me for two years, and I never suspected a thing!
But that’s not the worst part.
I now need to confirm the other secret Rebecca revealed to me. If true, then everything I believed in will be shattered. I almost don’t want to know. Because if it’s true, I don’t know how I’m going to handle it. But deep down, I know I can’t hide from this.
“And when she died in that car accident…” I ask Harry. “Was she headed to an abortion clinic?”
Harry looks at me. I see the awkward, uncomfortable expression in his eyes. He slowly nods.
I release him as I double over. I can’t breathe. I grab a rail in the elevator for balance. My head begins to spin. I feel like I’m suffocating.
“She didn’t know what to do,” Harry blurts.
Then he delivers the final blow. “She didn’t know if she was pregnant with your child or mine.”
He places his hand on my back for comfort. I quickly shove it away.
“Why did she tell you and not me?” I glare at him.
He shrugs. “I don’t know, Jackson. But it was her decision to get the abortion. I never pressured her. She came to that decision on her own. I just helped her find a doctor outside of the city. That’s the only thing she asked of me. And that’s when she died, in that car accident on the way to the doctor.”
I still can’t believe this is happening. How could Ashley keep all of this from me? How could I have been so blind and never suspected any of this was going on?
“I’m sorry.”
I snap back into reality and stare at Harry. I fucking hate him. In this fucked up world, I counted Harry as my only friend. And he backstabbed me. And worst of all, he’s let me live a lie all these years. He never wanted to own up to the truth. Tonight, if Rebecca hadn’t told me what she discovered, how long would this illusion have continued?
The elevator finally arrives at the lobby floor. As the doors open, I vow to Harry, “I never want to see you again. No more business together. Nothing. You’re dead to me.”
I’m about to turn and exit the elevator, when I decide to leave Harry one last parting gift.
I slug him again, harder this time.
He collapses to the floor. I step out of the elevator as the doors close on him.
I leave his building and head back into the night. I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t want to go home. I just want to get as far away from myself – and my life – as I can.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Rebecca
Kristi and I spend the rest of the evening sitting on the couch, watching cheesy romantic comedies on Netflix. But I’m not really paying attention to the television. I’m thinking about Jackson. “I hope he’s all right,” I mumble out loud.
Kristi reaches over and squeezes my hand.
“I wonder if he’s ruined me f
or other men,” I sadly muse.
Kristi shoots me a puzzled look. “How do you mean?”
I shrug. “I just can’t imagine someone loving me as much as he loved her. Most of the guys you and I meet, Kristi, aren’t like him. Jackson’s special. He wasn’t afraid to really love someone, to open himself up that way. And the fact that I just destroyed the memories he had of Ashley makes me feel terrible.”
“You did the right thing,” Kristi affirms. “And I promise you, you are definitely going to meet a guy who’ll love you just as passionately and unequivocally as he loved her. I know it.”
“How can you be so sure?”
Kristi flashes me a smile. “Because if you visualize it, it will happen. Just like with your bakery. You just have to imagine the perfect man for you.”
“There’s only one problem with that,” I confess to her. “When I close my eyes, and picture the perfect man, I see Jackson.”
My phone rings. I reach toward the coffee table and pick it up.
Jackson’s name appears on the screen. “It’s him,” I say nervously to Kristi.
I quickly get up and take my phone into the bedroom.
I take a deep breath before answering. “Hello?”
He takes a moment before speaking. “Rebecca, I want to let you know that our arrangement is over.”
The tone of his voice is sad and heartbroken.
“I understand,” I reply softly.
“I’ll still pay you the full amount,” he then adds.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to,” he insists. “I’m also going to give you a little extra for embarking on this crazy experiment with me. I know it must’ve been really weird for you. Thank you for helping me.”
I can’t believe he’s thanking me for breaking his heart and destroying the memory he had of his wife. It only reinforces how truly special he is.
There’s a long moment of silence.
“Are you going to be okay?” I ask concerned.
“I don’t know,” he confesses. “Before I saw you in that bar, weeks ago, I was in pretty bad shape because of Ashley’s death. Now I feel worse.”