The two of them were a study in contradictions.
She sighed. This new relationship of theirs would either be a stupendous success or an equally stupendous failure.
* * *
“I’M PRETTY SURE the three of us bought out the entire store!” Sage laughed as she climbed awkwardly into the front passenger seat of Sierra’s SUV, her growing stomach hampering her movements.
“If you don’t tell Ethan, I won’t tell Gavin.” Caitlin made funny faces at Jamie as she hopped in the back seat next to him.
Sierra buckled the harness on his car seat and shut the door.
She and her sisters-in-law had spent the entire morning shopping at baby boutiques in nearby Scottsdale. Actually, Sage and Caitlin had done most of the shopping. After only a month at the rodeo arena, part-time at that, Sierra was still carefully managing her disposable income.
Clay would buy her anything she had a hankering for, and that was the problem. She didn’t want to take advantage of him. Their dating relationship, while in the early stages, was going well. More than well, in fact, and she’d hate to mess it up by giving him reasons to think her feelings for him were based solely on what he could provide her.
“I’m not ready to go home yet,” Sage announced. “Are you?” She looked to Sierra and Caitlin for confirmation.
“Me, either.” Caitlin yawned and stretched. She’d only recently started showing, and most of her purchases today were maternity clothes.
“You sure? You look tired.”
“Nothing a little pick-me-up won’t cure. Anyone hungry?”
“Starving!” Sage rubbed her belly. “Junior, too. Why don’t we stop for lunch at the Corner Diner?”
“What do you say, Sierra?” Caitlin smiled winningly. “My treat, in exchange for you driving us around all morning.”
Sierra glanced over her shoulder at Jamie. He was as energized as his Aunt Sage and as content as his Aunt Caitlin. “Sure. Why not?”
Twenty-five minutes later they were being seated at the busy diner, Jamie in one of the restaurant-provided high chairs. Sierra automatically dug several of his toys out from the diaper bag. He was far more interested in the plastic-laminated dessert menu.
Once they placed their orders with the waitress, the conversation returned to where it had been most of the morning—babies.
“Did you know you were having a boy?” Caitlin asked. “Ethan wants to find out the baby’s sex, but I don’t.”
“I refuse to find out,” Sage chimed in. “We already have two girls. I’m worried Gavin will be disappointed if we have another one.”
“Oh, Gavin won’t care.” Caitlin dismissed her sister-in-law with a shrug, and, thank goodness, forgot about Sierra.
She’d dreaded having to answer the question. It brought back too many sad memories. Once she’d agreed to the adoption, the Stevensons had insisted on learning if her baby was a boy or a girl, even accompanying Sierra to an ultrasound appointment.
Knowing she was carrying a boy had made those last few months of Sierra’s pregnancy excruciatingly difficult. She was no longer carrying a baby, she was carrying her son.
A son she was abandoning.
“How’re things going with you and Clay?” Sage asked, nibbling a cracker. She gave one to Jamie.
This question was easier to answer, yet Sierra hedged. What if talking about her and Clay jinxed their relationship?
“Fine.”
“That’s all?”
“Okay, really fine.”
Clay had broken the news that he and Sierra were seeing each other to Sierra’s brothers. Ethan had been happy for them. Gavin, as usual, expressed reservations.
“Have you moved in with him yet? What?” Caitlin objected when Sage sent her a warning glance. “Am I being too nosy?”
“I’m still in the casita and he’s still in his house.”
Technically, that was true. Sierra insisted on maintaining her residence in the casita in order to minimize disrupting Jamie’s schedule. Clay hadn’t insisted on taking Jamie during “his days,” though he could if he chose to enforce the custody agreement.
“We eat breakfast together every morning and dinner together every evening. In his house,” she added. “We also have Friday date nights and family Sundays.”
And, almost always, Clay spent the night in the casita with her. That probably wouldn’t last much longer. Jamie was getting too big to be sleeping in the same room with his parents.
The thought of him occupying his own room didn’t distress Sierra anymore, thanks to her counseling.
Or maybe the reason was sharing her bed with Clay. She definitely felt calmer and slept better snuggled against him.
What she refused to tell her sisters-in-law was that the last family Sunday had been spent with Bud Duvall, this time at an indoor playground with an activity center designed for toddlers.
If Sage and Caitlin found out, they’d spill the beans to Sierra’s brothers, and she wasn’t ready to deal with the inevitable fallout. Ethan might understand but Gavin and her father would come unglued.
She couldn’t keep it from them forever. Jamie was quickly coming to adore his other grandfather. Bud had won him over at the playground by climbing into the ball pit with him and chasing him through the tunnels.
For her part, Sierra continued having trouble reconciling the horrible man who’d destroyed her family with the kind, caring grandfather who doted on his grandson.
“How’s the job going?” Caitlin asked.
“I love it.” Sierra smiled broadly, glad for the distraction. “The work’s really interesting, and there’s a lot of it. I’m busy every minute.”
“I’m jealous,” Sage said. “You get to take Jamie with you to the office. I’ll have to leave Junior here in day care or—” she sighed despairingly “—with Gavin.”
“It’s not always easy, believe me. Jamie can be very demanding. And loud. It’s embarrassing when I’m on the phone and he starts wailing.”
She should arrange day care. But every time she imagined leaving Jamie with someone else, she was reminded of the Stevensons and panicked.
“I’m thinking of hiring Cassie this summer to watch him while I work.”
Sierra and Gavin’s daughter had engaged in a long talk after the wedding. They’d both regretted the incident and wanted to make amends.
“That’s a wonderful solution,” Sage gushed.
Yeah, other than Cassie wouldn’t be off school for three more months. Thank goodness Clay was patient.
“How’s the wild-horse auction coming?” Sage asked. “I can’t believe it’s in two weeks. I’m so excited. I wish I could be more involved.”
“We’re on target. The horses are ready. We’ve hired the auctioneer. Arranged for Cassie’s equestrian drill team to run the concession stand. My big concern is publicity. Ads are appearing in the newspapers this week and next, and I’ve contacted five local TV stations. So far, only one has committed. I worry I haven’t done enough.”
“Gavin tells me Prince is ready for his picture-taking,” Sage said. “They’ve been practicing.”
Sierra was less sure. About Prince, not Dallas. She and the photographer had gotten to know each other over the last couple weeks and had become friends. Sierra was mortified to think she once suspected Dallas of going after Clay.
Their food arrived, and Sage dove into her sandwich with gusto. “This is delicious.”
“Hey, I’ve just had the best idea.” Caitlin put down her fork and grabbed Sage’s arm. “Let’s throw Jamie a belated birthday party.”
“Yes, we should!”
“No, no,” Sierra protested. “He doesn’t need any more presents. Clay’s bought him too many already.”
“But not the rest of his family,” Caitlin insisted. “We want to dote on him, too.”
Sierra wavered, remembering Gail Stevenson’s baby shower. She’d tried to coerce Sierra into attending, but she simply couldn’t bring herself to go. That evening, G
ail had shown Sierra all the baby gifts her family and friends had given her, never noticing Sierra’s anguish.
“You have enough on your plates already,” Sierra insisted, “getting ready for your own babies.”
“Are you kidding?” Sage exclaimed. “It’ll be a blast. We’ll have it next weekend. Before the horse auction.”
“Is that enough time?”
“Plenty.”
“I don’t know.”
“Please, Sierra.” Caitlin touched her arm. “The party isn’t just for Jamie. It’s for all of us. We love him and you.”
How could Sierra say no to that? “All right.”
Sage and Caitlin chatted enthusiastically about the party, with Sierra insisting they limit the guest list to a reasonable number.
“My mom will want to come.” Caitlin had taken out a pen and paper and was making notes.
Jamie, who’d been good as gold up till now, decided to drop his spoon and bowl of applesauce on the floor.
Sierra leaned over to retrieve it. She sat up and saw a hostess escorting two women to a booth. Her breath caught as she recognized the younger one.
Jessica Rovedatti. Or Jessica Duvall if she hadn’t taken back her maiden name after her divorce from Clay.
An invisible wall of ice slammed into her, shaking her to her core.
Sierra set the bowl and spoon on the table, fumbling slightly.
“Honey, are you okay?” Caitlin asked.
“I’m… Um, yeah.”
Caitlin turned her head and hissed, “Oh, my God! I don’t believe it.”
She’d recognized Clay’s ex-wife, having grown up in the area and dated Ethan for years.
“What?” Sage shifted in her seat to see. “Who?”
“Please,” Sierra implored in a hushed voice. “I don’t want her looking over here.”
Too late. Jessica acknowledged Sierra with a cool nod, no smile, and returned her attention to her lunch companion.
Sierra drew in a shaky breath.
“Who is she?” Sage demanded.
Caitlin pushed aside her empty plate. “Clay’s ex-wife.”
“Oh. Ooohh. I thought she lived in Texas.”
So had Sierra.
“Wonder what she’s doing here?” Caitlin peered across the dining room, trying to be discreet and not succeeding.
Sierra clasped Jamie’s hand protectively in hers, the image of Jessica’s cool nod replaying over and over inside her head.
The waitress couldn’t come fast enough with their tab.
Chapter Thirteen
Sierra put Jamie down for his nap shortly after returning from the diner. Taking the nursery monitor with her, she crossed the backyard and went into the house.
“You home?” she hollered.
“Hey!” Clay’s voice carried from the living room. “In here.”
She found him on the floor, surrounded by an assortment of large plastic pieces and a sheet of instructions lying open beside him. He wore basketball shorts, a sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off and a backward baseball cap. A far cry from his typical cowboy shirt and jeans.
If she weren’t upset over seeing Jessica at the diner, she’d joke with him about his attire.
“What are you doing?”
“Putting this together.” He pointed to an empty cardboard box. On the side was a picture of a miniature slide and a child going down it, his arms lifted high over his head. “He had such a good time at the indoor playground, I thought he’d like this.”
She wanted to admonish Clay for spoiling Jamie but held her tongue. “Where are you going to put it?”
“I thought on the back porch.” He glanced at the nursery monitor in her hand. “Jamie asleep?”
“Yeah. He’s wiped out after our shopping spree.” She sat on the sofa and watched Clay. He assembled the slide with the meticulous attention of a master craftsman.
“Have fun with the girls?”
“I did.” For most of the morning. “We had lunch at the Corner Diner.”
He must have discerned the tiny note of distress in her voice for he asked, “Everything all right?”
“Something did happen.”
“What?”
“Jessica was there. At the diner.”
He set the plastic pieces he’d been holding aside. “She was?”
“Having lunch with a woman I didn’t recognize. I’m surprised she’s back in Mustang Valley. I thought her family moved to Avondale.”
Clay picked up the slide pieces he’d set down and attempted to fit them together. When he spoke, his tone was measured. “She’s in town visiting her godmother.”
“You knew?”
“I talked to her recently.”
The revelation shocked Sierra almost as much as seeing Jessica. “When?”
“She called last week to tell me she was coming to Arizona for a couple weeks.”
“I see.” Every insecurity Sierra had thought she’d beaten, every fear she’d set to rest, returned in one violent, blinding wave.
Clay had been in contact with Jessica. Behind Sierra’s back!
“It’s not unusual for divorced people to stay in touch,” he said.
“Are you in touch with her a lot?”
“Once in a while we email or talk on the phone.”
“You couldn’t tell me this?”
“I didn’t want to upset you.”
“Is there anything else you’re hiding from me?”
He got to his feet and joined her on the couch. “I’m not hiding anything from you. I swear.”
Why then did she feel betrayed?
“Does she know about Jamie?”
“Yes.”
“You told her when she called you last week.”
“Before then.”
Once in a while was beginning to sound like every week.
“I told her about us when I saw her the other day.”
“You saw her?” Anger seeped in, filling the cracks he was leaving in her heart.
She couldn’t sit here another second and listen to him try to convince her that communicating with Jessica was perfectly normal.
“There was a form she needed to sign so I could remove her as beneficiary on my life insurance policy and add you and Jamie.”
He’d added her and Jamie as his beneficiaries? That took some of the wind from her sails.
“I could have shipped the form to her,” Clay went on to explain, “but when she said she was coming to town for a visit, I decided to handle it in person. Jessica’s forgetful sometimes, and I wanted to make the change now.”
Everything Clay said made sense. And yet…
“Didn’t you take her off your insurance policy when you divorced?”
“Honestly, it didn’t occur to me until I went to renew the policy.”
“Do you still love her?”
He reached up and rubbed his knuckles along Sierra’s cheek. “I haven’t loved her for a long, long time. But I did once, and she was a big part of my life for many years. It isn’t always easy to let go, even in the wake of hurt and resentment.”
“You can’t let go of Jessica?” How could he still cling to her after what she’d done to him?
How could he ever love Sierra?
“Believe me, I have. She’s just a person from my past. You and Jamie are my future.”
Suddenly, comprehension dawned. “She’s the one unable to let go of you.”
“I think being single again isn’t as much fun as she anticipated.”
“Poor Jessica.”
Clay pressed a light kiss to Sierra’s mouth. “You have nothing to worry about where she’s concerned.”
No? Jessica had always exuded a sort of power over Clay. He’d been crazy mad in love with her, and she’d expertly wrapped him around her little finger.
Sierra wanted her back in Texas in the worst way.
God, why had she agreed to joint custody? She should have fought tooth and nail for sole custody.
Then,
she wouldn’t be scared to death “the other woman” would be helping Clay raise Jamie on the days he had his son.
* * *
“MORNING.” CLAY BREEZED INTO the kitchen, tucking his shirt into his jeans.
Sierra stood at the counter, fixing breakfast—for Jamie.
Not that Clay expected her to cook for him, they usually shared the chore. But since they’d taken their relationship to the next level, so to speak, whenever she scrambled eggs and toasted bread for Jamie, she made extra for Clay.
He could always have oatmeal in the office, he supposed.
“What’s on your schedule for today?” he asked, kissing the top of Jamie’s head. The boy sat in his high chair, Oreo beside him, waiting for any food that found its way to the floor.
Clay would have kissed Sierra, too, but she’d remained aloof since yesterday afternoon and the Jessica conversation. What were the odds his girlfriend and his ex-wife would be at the diner the same time?
In hindsight, he should have told Sierra about Jessica’s visit and the beneficiary form. Live and learn.
“I need to run to the discount store today for diapers and baby food,” she said. “Then hit the office.”
Pouring himself a cup of coffee, Clay sat at the table and combed his fingers through his shower-dampened hair. “I assume you’re still mad at me.”
“I’m not mad.” She set a plate in front of Jamie. He immediately fed a toast triangle to Oreo. “No, honey bun, those are for you. Oreo’s already had breakfast.” She handed Jamie a baby spoon for his eggs.
He preferred using his fingers.
“You sure you’re not mad?” Clay presented his most appealing smile. “Because you’re acting it. I know you didn’t sleep well last night.”
“You explained everything. I have nothing to worry about, right?”
“Right.”
She started loading the dishwasher. “Okay then.”
It wasn’t as if anything had happened with Jessica. She and Clay had met at a coffee shop, she’d signed the form, he’d showed her pictures of Jamie, they’d talked for ten minutes, and then he’d left.
Wait a minute! On second thought, something did happen. A big something. When he’d left the coffee shop, he didn’t glance back once or give her a moment’s consideration until Sierra mentioned seeing her.
Baby's First Homecoming Page 16