But the rest of it totally took her by surprise. She had no idea such desires lived inside her.
She had made a rewarding career out of helping people discover the true dreams of their heart.
Contrary to what many of her clients thought when they first contacted her, coaching was not about telling people how to live, gleefully doling out advice to anyone who would listen.
She tried to help her clients dig deep into their psyches to discover their potential and break down all the barriers people erected to keep themselves from risking everything to touch those dreams.
How had she so completely missed this deep-seated need inside herself, then? This intense craving for home and hearth?
She thought she was fulfilled by her life in California but as she listened to the rain and the pop and hiss of the fire and studied the sweet faces of the Dalton children, she realized how much she envied Wade.
He had this all the time, this constant, unwavering love from his children and this unbreakable connection.
She wanted it all—not just the idea of children but the idea of these children. Tears burned in her eyes at the warm weight of Cody on her lap and Tanner leaning against her arm. She loved them, all three of them, as much as she loved Wade.
Her heart would rip apart into a thousand jagged pieces when she had to leave the ranch and the Daltons.
She couldn't think about that now. For now, she would sit here and listen to the rain and enjoy the night and these sweet children.
She must have closed her eyes for a moment. The next thing she knew was Wade's voice in her ear, low and disconcertingly close.
"How in the world did you pull that off?" he asked and she blinked her eyes open and found him standing by the recliner.
"Sorry?"
"Must have been a pretty boring story," he murmured.
It took her a moment to realize both boys were asleep—Cody nestled under her chin and Tanner with his cheek resting on her forearm. She probably had dozed off, too. "No wonder nobody complained when I stopped reading."
He smiled, drawing her gaze to his mouth. A deep, intense yearning to taste him again washed through her and she had to clench her fists to keep from reaching for him.
"Where's Natalie?" Her voice sounded hoarse and a little ragged but she had to hope he didn't notice or would attribute it to lingering sleepiness.
"We finished homework so I sent her off to bed."
"No matter what she said, I thought you explained her homework very well."
His smile was a little lopsided and made her want to trace a finger at the corner of his mouth. "So I guess I could always be a math tutor if the whole ranch thing doesn't work out."
She could just imagine the women of Pine Gulch lining up to have him teach their children.
"What do you think my odds are of getting these guys up to bed without waking them?" he asked.
"I didn't realize you were a betting man."
"Every rancher and farmer I know is a gambler. It's part of the package. You gamble every time you plant a crop or buy an animal or take your stock to market."
"Well, I'll give you a fifty-fifty chance on the boys. I'd have to put my money on Tanner to be the one who wakes up."
"That's what you call a sucker bet." He grinned. "I'd have to be stupid to take it and I try not to be stupid more than once or twice a week. I'll get them settled and then I'll come back and help you back to bed."
"No hurry," she assured him. "I'm still enjoying the change of scenery. Would you mind if I stayed a while?"
"No. Seth is coming in a few minutes to fill me in on what went on today. We'll probably bore you to tears with all our shop talk."
"I don't mind. I enjoy learning about what goes into running a big ranch like the Cold Creek. Anyway, if I get bored, I have a magazine I can read. As long as you don't mind if I stay."
"No. That's fine."
She smiled and he looked as if he wanted to say something, then decided against it and reached down for Cody. His arm couldn't help but touch her breasts as he scooped the boy off her lap and she was suddenly hot everywhere he touched.
She had almost managed to cool down by the time he returned from carrying Cody upstairs. Her arm was asleep, with the weight of Tanner's head pressing it against the armrest of the recliner, but she hadn't wanted to risk waking him by moving.
Still, she was grateful when Wade returned for him. "One down, one to go," he said softly.
"Good luck."
"I think I'll need it with this one."
Just as he had done with Cody, he lifted Tanner into his arms, and though the boy murmured something and flung an arm across his father's chest, he didn't appear to wake up.
She watched them go, the tall, handsome rancher and his busy little son, quiet only in sleep, and pressed a hand to her heart as if she could already feel it begin to crack apart.
* * *
He would miss her when she went back to California.
It was a hard admission but Wade had never let himself shrink from things that were tough to face. He stood in Tanner's bedroom, which his mother had decorated with everything cowboy, and watched as the boy nestled into his bucking-bronco sheets, rump up in the air like a potato bug.
Focusing on Tanner didn't help him avoid looking the cold, hard truth right in the eye.
Somehow in the few days she'd been on the Cold Creek, Caroline had managed to worm her way into their lives with her softness and her sweet smile and her gentleness with the boys.
The kids adored her, even Nat—though his daughter had seemed a little on the cool side tonight. Cody and Tanner thought she was the best thing to come along since juice boxes. He had watched their eyes light up when he'd carried her into the great room, the eager way both boys had come running just to be near her.
She seemed to adore them, too. Watching her spend the evening reading to his sons had given him a weird tug in his chest. He couldn't explain it and he wasn't sure he liked it, but he couldn't deny that his children had come to love her.
Having her there seemed right.
He stared at the rope border Marjorie had nailed around the room. How could that be? Caroline had only been at the Cold Creek a few days but already she seemed to belong, as if she'd been there forever, and he was having a tough time imagining how things would be when she left again.
Alone.
That's how he would be. Not just alone but lonely, and that seemed far, far worse.
He had been empty these last two years since Andi had died. Hollow, joyless, cold. There was a spring on their grazing allotment in the mountains that had suddenly dried up a few years ago when a severe drought had hit the West. But when he had taken the cattle up earlier in the summer, he'd discovered that by some miracle of nature, the wet winter had suddenly revived it and now it was pumping water again just like it had done for generations, clear and pure and sweet.
Since Caroline had come to the ranch, he felt like that spring. He had thought his life was all dried up after Andi had died, that anything good and pure was gone forever.
Now all those empty, dry places inside him seemed to be filling again.
He wasn't sure he was ready to come back to life—nor was he really thrilled about the fact that Caroline was the one who seemed to have brought about the change.
She wasn't at all the sort of woman he needed in his life. She didn't know anything about cattle, she had the same wacky New Age ideas Marjorie did about some things, and she had a busy life and career a thousand miles away.
But she seemed to love his kids, so much that she'd risked her own life to save Tanner's. She was kind and funny and she made his pulse jump every time she smiled at him.
He blew out a breath and tucked the covers closer around Tanner.
He would miss her like crazy.
Chapter Fifteen
When Wade returned to the great room, he found his youngest brother sprawled on the same ottoman Tanner had pulled up next to Caroline's recline
r earlier for story time.
Seth appeared so close, Wade was surprised he didn't have his chin perched on Caroline's arm just like Tanner had done.
He couldn't seem to control a quick spurt of jealousy. With his charm and good looks, Seth could have any woman he wanted—and he usually did. If he set his sights for Caroline, she wouldn't stand a chance.
Right now she looked like every other woman who ventured into Seth's orbit—completely charmed. She was laughing at something his brother said and she looked bright and animated and as pretty as a mountain meadow ablaze with wildflowers.
He had to admit, he was slightly gratified when she turned as soon as he entered the room and her crooked little smile actually seemed to kick up a notch or two.
"You can't be done already," she exclaimed. "Did Tanner really stay asleep?"
He shrugged, wondering what Seth would do if he shoved him off the ottoman to the floor and took his place next to her. "So far. I admit, I cheated a little."
"I knew there had to be something underhanded!"
"I didn't put him all the way in his pajamas, just traded his jeans for pajama bottoms and left him in his T-shirt."
"Sneaky," she said in an admiring tone.
"It's one of those survival skills every parent figures out early."
"You were sneaky long before the kids came along," Seth interjected. "You were the one who figured out how to rig that rope in the old maple tree so you could climb out your bedroom window, swing over to the tree and climb down the trunk. It was genius, something I used many a time after I took over your bedroom when you moved out."
"Only I used to sneak out and get in a little late-night fishing while you used it to go make out with SueAnn Crowley. Anyway, I'm sure Caroline isn't interested in this old family history."
"Oh, I am! Did either of you ever get caught?"
Seth grinned. "Nope. That rope is still probably there."
"Guess I'd better take it down before Tanner discovers it and figures out how to use it," Wade said.
He didn't want to go sit on one of the couches and leave Seth here in close proximity to Caroline, so he opted to remain standing by the side of her recliner.
"So are you ready for me to take you to bed?"
At his abrupt question, her lips parted just a little and Seth made a sound that could have been a laugh or a cough.
It took a moment for Wade to realize what he'd said. When he did, he felt the tips of ears go hot and red.
"I meant, can I help you back to your bedroom now?" he said quickly, making a mental note to teach Seth some manners next time the opportunity arose.
"Not yet. Do you mind terribly if I just sit here a while longer? The fire is so comforting and I'm enjoying the change of scenery. I promise, you two can take care of your business and you won't even know I'm here."
Right. And maybe tomorrow his horse would suddenly recite the Pledge of Allegiance. He had no doubt whatsoever that he would be aware of every sigh, every breath, every movement.
"You'll probably be bored to tears listening to dry ranch talk."
"I told you, I find it all interesting. Seth was telling me about the TV interview before you came down. It sounds like it went well."
"He did a good job representing the ranch," Wade said. "And the producer was fine about the change in plan."
How could she be otherwise, with Seth pouring on all his charm? He wouldn't be surprised if his brother had Darci Perez's phone number tucked away right now with all his others.
"I'm still sorry you missed it, especially when you didn't have to on my account," she said.
"She said they got enough footage of me explaining things around the ranch and they'll use that."
"When does it air?" she asked.
"Two weeks from yesterday," Seth provided. "At least that's what Darci said."
"I guess I'll be back in Santa Cruz by then," she said. "I'll have to be sure watch it."
Her casual reminder that she would be out of their lives soon put a definite damper on Wade's mood.
"It's late," he said curtly to Seth. "Let's go through the log so we can all get to bed."
They moved to the table Nat used for homework and Seth pulled out his report of the day's activities.
For the next half hour they discussed feed schedules, which animals to cull for the winter and Seth's encounter with a neighboring rancher disputing water rights.
"Sounds like you handled Simister just right. He needs to know where we stand on this. I wouldn't have done a thing differently."
"Thanks." Seth looked surprised at the comment and Wade wondered if he'd been too stingy with the praise over the years. If so, it was something he'd picked up from old Hank Dalton.
He had worked alongside his father every day until Hank had dropped dead of a heart attack. He could count on one hand the number of times Hank had offered anything to him but criticism.
Had he become like his father in other ways without realizing it? He thought of the extra work Seth had done these last few days with an eagerness that had surprised him, then made him feel guilty, especially when he realized Seth was more than capable of the job.
His brother made sound decisions, treated the ranch hands with fairness and decency, and had clear ideas about what they were trying to accomplish at the ranch.
Wade should have been delegating to him more, especially these last few years after Andi had died, he suddenly realized. Lord knew, he could have used the help and Seth seemed willing to step in.
Wade wasn't sure why he hadn't seen it, but somehow he had fallen into the habit of thinking of Seth as the same irresponsible kid he'd been when Wade had taken over running the ranch. Maybe because his brother was still a very swinging bachelor, still running around with his friends from high school, still hanging out at the tavern in town.
He acted like he was still in college, though he'd graduated and come back to the ranch five years ago. Seth never seemed to take anything seriously and when Wade compared his brother's life to his own, full of responsibility after responsibility, Seth came out looking reckless and carefree.
Now he wondered how much of his brother's wildness stemmed from Wade's own lack of trust in him.
It was a stunning revelation for him.
Since the day his father had died, Wade had taken his responsibilities to the ranch and his family very seriously. It was tough for him to surrender that burden to someone else because he loathed the idea of anyone thinking he was shirking his duties.
But maybe by failing to delegate more to Seth, he had caused both of them harm.
"You've done a good job these last few days," he said slowly. "I'm sorry for the extra work."
Seth started gathering up the papers he'd brought. "I'm not. It's been a major learning experience. I've gotten a whole new perspective being the big hombre for a few days."
"You're a good cattleman, Seth. Maybe you ought to give some thought to running your own herd."
Where before Seth had looked astonished at Wade's appreciation, now he looked flabbergasted. His mouth sagged open and he stared for a full moment before he composed himself.
"I've thought about it some," he admitted, then paused. "What would you say if I told you I'm more interested in training horses?"
Wade couldn't say he would be surprised. Seth had been horse-mad since before he could walk. Wade and Jake both enjoyed horses, but Seth had always been passionate about them.
His brother had been a team roper on the college rodeo circuit and had even spent a couple summers on the pro circuit. It seemed like he always had a horse he was working with.
"What kind of operation?"
"Cutters." Seth said the word so fast, Wade realized his brother had indeed given this some thought. "Breeding and training them."
"I thought that was just a hobby with you."
"A hobby I'm damn good at. You know Calliope never met a cow she couldn't work and I trained her from a colt. And remember, I worked that gelding fo
r the Stapeley kid and he got a buckle at the PRCA finals out of the deal."
"What sort of business plan have you considered?"
"Find a good stud, to start with. I've got my eye on one from over at the Diamond Harte in Star Valley. If I could come up with the capital, I think Matt Harte would give me a good deal on it."
"The man has quality horses, that's true."
Seth went on for another ten minutes about what he would do if he ran a breeding-and-training operation, and with every word, Wade felt more and more ashamed.
He had completely undervalued his brother, had been so wrapped up building his own legacy at the Cold Creek that he hadn't seen Seth had dreams of his own.
He wouldn't make that mistake again.
A few weeks ago, he might not have seen the value in a man holding onto his dreams. But things seemed different now. He risked a glance at the recliner where Caroline sat, a magazine propped open on her lap as she gazed into the fire.
You don't think following your dreams is important? she had asked that first day she'd shown up at the ranch.
At the time, he'd thought a man would do better to focus on fulfilling his responsibilities. Now he realized that the work he did at the Cold Creek was both his responsibility and his dream. He loved the ranch and had poured his heart into making it a success.
How could he deny Seth the same opportunity?
"You know, you do own a quarter share of the Cold Creek," he said slowly. "Seems to me if you've got your heart set on working with horses, you ought to stop sitting around thinking about it and get serious."
Seth narrowed his gaze. "What are you saying?"
"Off the top of my head, I can think of at least two or three spots on the ranch that would make a good location for stables and an indoor training arena."
His brother had the look of a man afraid to hope. "The Cold Creek has always been about cattle."
"Well, maybe it's time we shake things up a little."
* * *
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