Is this what the Oversoul has always known about me?
At once the answer came, and now it truly was a clear voice—even clearer than when the Oversoul spoke through the Index. (I never knew this much about you before. The cloak has connected with every nerve in your body, and reports on your condition continuously. It also samples your blood in various places and interprets and acts to enhance your condition many times a second.)
Cloak?
At once an image flashed into his mind. He could see himself from the outside, as the Oversoul no doubt saw him through its sensors. He could see his body as he rolled out from under the block and rose to his feet. His skin sparkled with light. He realized that most of the light in the room came from him. He saw himself run his hands over his own skin, trying to feel the cloak. But he felt nothing at all that was different from his normal skin.
He wondered if he would always shine like this—if his house would always light up like this whenever he was inside.
The thought had no sooner come to him than the Oversoul's voice responded. (The cloak responds to your will. If you wish it to go dark, it will. If you wish it to build up a powerful electrical charge, it will—and you can point your finger and send an arc of energy in whatever direction you choose. Nothing can harm you while you wear this, and you can be deeply dangerous to others—yet if you have no wish to harm someone, the cloak will be passive. Your children can sleep in the dark, and you can hold your wife as you always have. Indeed, the more physical contact you have with others, the more your cloak will extend to include them, and even respond, in a small way, to your will.)
So Luet will also wear this cloak?
(Through you, yes. It will protect her; it will give her better access to my memory. But why do you ask me these things? Instead of thinking of questions, why not simply cast your mind back and try to remember, as if you had always known about the cloak. The memories will come to your mind easily and clearly, then. You'll know all there is to know.)
Nafai tried it, and suddenly he had no more questions about the cloak. He understood what it meant to be shipmaster. He even understood exactly what the Oversoul needed him to do to prepare a starship for departure.
"We don't have enough lifetimes among us, including our children, to do all of this," said Nafai.
(I told you that I'd give you the tools to work with. Some aspects of the robots are unsalvageable now, but other parts can be used. The machines themselves are perfectly workable—it's only my program to control them that is defective. Parts of it can be reactivated, and then you and the others can set the robots to doing the meaningless tasks under your direction. You'll see.)
And now Nafai "remembered" exactly what the Oversoul had determined was possible. It would take some serious work for several hours to get the robots working, but he could do it—he remembered how. "I'll get started at once," he said. "Is there anything to eat here?"
No sooner had he asked than he remembered that of course there was no food here. It made him impatient to think of having to leave this place and go hunt for food. "Can't you bring the others here? Have them bring food, and… I don't see why we should have to take a day's journey every time someone comes here. We can rebuild our village here—there's plenty of water in the hills to the south, and plenty of lumber. We can spend a week doing that and save ourselves many days of travel each year until the ships are done."
(I'll pass the word. Or you can tell them yourself.) "Tell them myself?" And then he remembered: Since the Oversoul's memory was now "his" memory, he could speak to the others through the Index. So he did.
"You're not going," said Elemak.
Zdorab and Volemak stood before him in bafflement. "What do you mean?" said Volemak. "Nafai needs food, and we need to mark out the new village. I assumed you'd want to come along."
"And I say you're not going. Nobody's going. We're not moving the village, and nobody is moving from here to go join Nafai. His attempt at seizing power here has failed. Give it up, Father. When Nyef gets hungry enough, he'll come home."
"I'm your father, Elya, not your child. You can decide not to go yourself, but you have no authority to stop me."
Elemak tapped his finger on the table.
"Unless you're threatening to use violence against your father," said Volemak.
"I have told you the law of this place," said Elemak. "Nobody leaves this town without my permission. And you don't have my permission."
"And if I disobey your presumptuous, illegal command?" said Volemak.
"Then you're no longer part of Dostatok," said Elemak. "If you're caught skulking around here, you'll be treated as a thief."
"Do you think the others will consent to this?" asked Volemak. "If you raise a hand against me, you'll earn only the disgust of the others."
"I'll earn their obedience," said Elemak. "I advise you… don't force the issue. No one takes food to Nafai. He comes home, and the charade about starships ends."
Volemak stood in silence, Zdorab beside him. Their faces were inscrutable.
"All right," said Volemak.
Elemak was surprised—could Father be giving in so easily?
"Nafai says he'll come home now. He has the first robots recommissioned and working. He'll be home in an hour."
"In an hour!" said Meb, who was standing nearby. "Well there it is. This Vusadka place was supposed to be a whole day's journey away."
"Nafai only just got the paritkas working. If they function well enough, we won't have to move the village."
"What's a paritka?" asked Meb.
Don't ask, you fool, Elemak said silently. It just plays into Father's hands.
"A flying wagon," said Volemak.
"And I suppose you're talking to Nafai right now?"
"When we don't have the Index with us," said Volemak, "his voice is as hard to distinguish from our normal thoughts as the Oversoul's voice normally is. But he's talking to us, yes. You could hear him yourself, if you only listened."
Elemak couldn't help laughing. "Oh, yes, I'm sure that I'm going to sit here and listen for the voice of my faraway brother, talking in my mind."
"Why not?" asked Zdorab. "He already sees everything that the Oversoul sees. Including what's going on in your mind. For instance, he knows that you and Meb plan to kill him as soon as he gets back here."
Elemak leapt to his feet. "That's a lie!" Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Meb getting a panicked look on his face. Just keep your mouth shut, Meb. Can't you recognize a wild guess when you hear one? Just don't do anything to confirm their guess. "Now get back to your house, Father. You too, Zdorab. The only way Nafai will be in any danger is if he attacks us or tries to mutiny."
"This isn't the desert now," said Volemak. "And you're not in command."
"On the contrary," said Elemak. "Desert law still applies, and I am the leader of this expedition. I have been all along. I only deferred to you, old man, out of courtesy."
"Let's go," said Zdorab, drawing Volemak out of Elemak's house.
"And deprive Elemak of the chance of showing exactly how malicious he really is?"
"Not malicious, Father," said Elemak. "Just fed up. It's you and Nyef, Rasa and Luet and your group who started this. Nobody asked you to start this stupid business about traveling out among the stars. Everything was going fine—you're the ones who decided to change all the rules. Well, the rules have changed, and for once they don't favor you. Now take your medicine like a man."
"I grieve for you," said Volemak. Then Zdorab had him out the door and they were gone.
"They knew," said Mebbekew. "They knew what we were planning."
"Oh, shut up," said Elemak. " They guessed,and you nearly blurted out a confirmation of their guess."
"I didn't," said Meb. "I didn't say a thing."
"Get your bow and arrow. You're a good enough shot for this."
"You mean we aren't going to wait and talk to him first?"
"I think Nafai will talk more reasonabl
y if he has an arrow in him, don't you?"
Meb left the house. Elemak rose to his feet and reached for his bow over the fireplace.
"Don't do it."
He turned and saw Eiadh standing in the doorway to the bedroom, holding the baby on her hip.
"Did I hear you correctly, Edhya?" asked Elemak. "Are you telling me what to do?"
"You tried to kill him once before," said Eiadh. "The Oversoul won't let you. Don't you realize that? And this time you might get hurt."
"I appreciate your concern for me, Edhya, but I know what I'm doing."
"I know what you're doing, too," said Eiadh. "I've watched you with Nafai for all these years, and I thought, at last, Elya has learned to give Nafai his proper respect. Elya's stopped being jealous of his little brother. But now I see that you were just biding your time."
Elemak would have slapped her face for that, except that the baby's head was in the way, and he would never harm his own child. "You've said enough," he warned.
"I'd beg you to stop because you love me," said Eiadh, "but I know that would never work. So I'm begging you to stop for your children's sake."
"For their sake? It's for their sake that I'm doing this. I don't want their lives disrupted for the sake of Rasa's conspiracies to get control of Dostatok and turn this into a village of women like Basilica."
"For their sake," said Eiadh again. "Don't make them see their father humiliated in front of everyone. Or worse."
"I can see how much you love me," said Elemak. "Apparently your bets are on the other side."
"Don't shame them by letting them see that you're a murderer in your heart."
"Do you think I don't understand this?" said Elemak. "You've had a yen for Nafai ever since Basilica. I thought you'd outgrown it, but I was wrong."
"Fool," said Eiadh. "I admired his strength. I admired yours, too. But his strength has never wavered, and he's never used it to bully other people. The way you treated your father was shameful. Your sons were in the other room, listening to how you talked to your father. Don't you know that someday, when you're old and frail, you may hear that same kind of disrespect from them? Go ahead, hit me. I'll set down the baby. Let your sons see how strong you are, that you can beat up a woman for no greater crime than telling you the truth."
Meb burst through the door. He had his bow and arrows. "Well?" he said. "Are you coming or not?"
"I'm coming," said Elemak. He turned to Eiadh. "I'll never forgive you for that."
She smirked at him. "In an hour you'll be asking for my forgiveness."
Nafai knew as he approached exactly what to expect. He had the memories of the Oversoul. He had heard the conversations between Elemak and his fellow plotters. He had listened as he ordered everyone to keep the children in their houses. He had felt the fear in everyone's hearts. He knew the damage Elemak was doing to his own family. He knew the fear and rage that filled his heart.
"Can't you make him forget this?" asked Nafai.
(No. That wasn't one of the powers I was given. Besides, he's very strong. My influence over him is oblique at best.)
"If he had chosen to follow you, he would have been better for your purposes than I am, wouldn't he?"
(Yes.) It might as well speak plainly, since it could keep no secrets from Nafai now.
"So I'm second choice," said Nafai.
(First choice. Because Elemak doesn't have it in him to recognize a purpose higher than his own ambition. He's far more crippled than Issib.)
Nafai sped south, the paritka skimming over the ground, automatically finding a smooth route at a pace Nafai found unimaginable. He cared nothing for the miracle of this machine. It was all he could do to keep from weeping. For now, as he focused on the people of Dostatok instead of the labors of restoring a starship, he "remembered" things that he had never guessed. The struggles and sacrifices Zdorab and Shedemei had made for each other. The cold hatred Vas felt for Obring and Sevet, and, ever since Shazer, for Elemak. Sevet's bitter self-loathing. Luet's and Hushidh's pain as their husbands treated them more and more like Elemak's idea of what wives should be, and less and less like the friends they were supposed to be.
Issib, who depends on Hushidh for everything in his life, how shameful for him to regard his wife as something less than a partner in all his work! And how more shameful for me, when my wife is the greatest of women, at least as wise as I am, that I have made her feel as she felt when I left her.
For he had seen all their hearts from the inside, and that is a vision that leaves no room for hate. Yes, he knew that Vas was a murderer in his heart—but he also "remembered" the agony that Vas went through when Sevet and Obring brought such shame on him. Never mind that Nafai himself had never thought that humiliation was an excuse for murder. He knew how the world looked from Vas's point of view, and it was impossible to hate him after that. He would stop him from getting his revenge, of course. But even as he did, he would understand.
Just as he understood Elemak. Understood how Nafai himself looked through Elemak's eyes. If only I'd known, thought Nafai. If only I'd seen the things I did that made him hate me.
(Don't be a fool. He hated your intelligence. He hated how you loved being intelligent. He hated your willing obedience to your father and mother. He hated even your hero-worship of Elemak himself. He hated you for being yourself, because you were so similar to him, and yet so different. The only way you could have kept him from hating you would have been to die young.)
Nafai understood this, but it changed nothing. Knowing all that he knew did not change the fact that he longed for things to be different. Oh, how he longed to have Elemak look at him and say, "Well done, Brother. I'm proud of you." More than those words from Father, Nafai needed to hear them from Elemak. And he never would. The best he would get from Elemak today was his sullen compliance. The worst would be Elya's dead body.
"I don't want to kill him," whispered Nafai, over and over.
(If you don't want to, then you won't.)
And then, again and again, Nafai's thoughts came back to Luet. Ah, Luet, why did it take this cloak to make me understand what I was doing to you? You tried to tell me. Lovingly at first, and in anger lately, but the message was the same: You're hurting me. You're losing my trust. Please don't do it. And yet I didn't hear. I was so caught up in being the best of the hunters, in living the man's life among men, that I forgot that before I was really a man, you took my hand and led me down to the Lake of Women; you not only saved my life, you also gave me my place with the Oversoul. All that I am, all that I have, my self, my children, I received it all at your hands, Luet, and then rewarded you shamefully.
(You're nearly there. Get control of yourself.)
Nafai pulled himself together. He could feel how the cloak worked within him, healing the skin around his eyes from the reddening that had come with his tears. Instantly his face gave no sign of having been in tears.
Is this how it will be? My face a mask, because I have this cloak?
(Only if you want it to be.)
Nafai "remembered" where Elemak and Mebbekew had gone, to lay an ambush for him. Vas and Obring were back in the village, making sure everyone stayed indoors. Elya and Meb were waiting, bows in hand, to kill Nafai as he approached.
Nafai's first thought had been to simply go around them, where they couldn't see him. Then he thought of flying past them so quickly they couldn't shoot. But neither course would be useful. They had to commit themselves. They had to put the arrows in him, unprovoked. "Let them strike me," said Nafai. "Help Meb with his aim—he'll never do it without your help—calming him, helping him concentrate. Let both arrows hit me."
(The cloak doesn't stop pain.)
"But it will heal me, once I pull the arrows out, right?"
(Well enough. But don't expect miracles.)
"All of this is a miracle," said Nafai. "Help Elemak miss my heart, if you're worried."
Elemak missed his heart, but not by much. Nafai slowed the paritka enough t
hat they could get a clear aim. He could see, only an instant after the Oversoul itself saw, how the paritka frightened them both; how Meb almost lost his nerve, almost threw down his bow and ran. But Elemak never wavered, and his murmured command held Meb at his post, and then they aimed and fired.
Nafai felt the arrows enter his body, Elemak's buried deep in his chest, Meb's arrow through his neck. The latter arrow was more painful, the former more dangerous. The pain of both was exquisite. Nafai almost lost consciousness.
(Wake up. You've got too much to do to nap now.)
It hurts it hurts, Nafai cried out silently.
(It was your plan, not mine.)
But it was the right plan, so Nafai didn't pull the arrows out until the paritka brought him into the center of the village. As he had expected, Vas and Obring were terrified when they saw the paritka fly in and hover over the grass of the meeting place, Nafai slumped in the seat, an arrow protruding from his chest, another stuck clear through his throat.
Luet, called Nafai silently. Come out and pull the arrows from me. Let everyone see how I was ambushed. That I carried no weapon. You must do your part.
He could see as if through Luet's own eyes; the kind of closeness that had almost driven him mad, back when he received his father's vision so long ago, was now much more easily borne, for the cloak protected him from the most distracting aspects of the Oversoul's recorded memories. He saw clearly what her eyes saw, but only hints of her feelings, and almost none of that stream of consciousness that had maddened him before.
He saw how her heart leapt within her at the sight of him, and how she was stricken by the sight of the arrows in him. How she loves me! he thought. Will she ever know how I love her?
She cried out. "Come out, all of you, and see!"
Almost at once Elemak's voice came from the distance. "Stay in your houses!"
"Everybody!" cried Luet. "See how they tried to murder my husband!"
THE SHIPS OF EARTH Page 35