I gave a few more minutes to Seltzer, but I knew Ben needed to focus and concentrate on Lev and I had to get the three kids away.
I apologized once more and stood.
I walked behind him so he wouldn’t see the rifle and I lowered it close to his head. Seltzer didn’t see it. The entire weapon swayed from my trembling hands. I tried my best to aim.
Listening to his cries of pain told me it was something that needed to be done.
It was an act of mercy.
Inside I felt different. I felt horrible, guilt ridden and saddened.
As heartbreaking as it was, it had to be done.
“I’m sorry.”
I pulled the trigger.
FOURTEEN – ICU
More than anything, I wanted to think clearly. Since the day my father died things had been relatively easy at the cabin. We were so secluded it was hard to believe that there was an insane world out there. Yet, it didn’t just knock on our door, it burst in. A day that had started out pretty normal cascaded into a nightmare. What happened?
Kids tend to be resilient, and our three were dealing with things, at such a young age, that even we as adults couldn’t deal with. Billy and Sawyer, were a little older than Katie, so they understood better.
Billy was doing the best. Maybe because he had already lost everyone close to him. Sawyer was still trying to understand that his grandmother had been killed and Katie worried and asked about Lev.
When we met Corbin and his son, Sawyer’s mother wasn’t in the picture. It was a conversation we never had and I didn’t know what happened to her. It was a bad time to ask and I went on the assumption she died in the outbreak.
The kids knew only a little more than I did.
According to Sawyer, after Ben yelled at Corbin to search me out, they went into the cabin.
Edi was making breakfast. Lev was outside and raced in, grabbed a rifle, told Edi that people were trying to get in and opened the storage area in the floor.
“He told us not to come out until we heard you,” Sawyer said. “Then as we were climbing in, there was a shot and I heard my Grandma scream.”
“Then what happened?” I asked.
“Lev shut the hatch,” Sawyer said. “It was dark. I was scared and I just heard all kinds of shots. There was banging and stuff above our heads, but we didn’t make a sound.”
“I didn’t cry, Mommy,” Katie added. “I wanted to. I didn’t cry at all.”
“Good girl.”
I stayed in the RV with the kids, waiting for word on Lev. Waiting to talk to Ben. I still didn’t know how Edi was attacked and Lev was shot. Although, Ben was in the outhouse, so I doubted he knew either.
It wasn’t long, maybe an hour or so and Corbin came in to tell me Ben was done, to give him a few minutes then he’d talk to me. Then after embracing his son, Corbin went out and began the process of digging two more graves.
Ben was a lot longer than a few minutes, at least two hours. He was cleaning the cabin and covering the blood stained floor with a carpet so me and Katie could eventually see and be around Lev.
He had also cleaned up himself, but was still the same clothes. When he walked toward the RV, I made a mad dash his way to find out about Lev and he merely asked, “Can I just change, I promise I will be right back.”
The wait was driving me nuts. The person or people that did it were still around. I didn’t feel safe. I did my best to rig the front gate, but it wasn’t going to hold.
Finally Ben came outside to join me.
“How is he?” I asked.
“Well, Lev’s a strong man. He lost a lot of blood. I gave him a transfusion using my blood, we have to wait and see if that will work,” Ben explained. “Is he going to die? I don’t think so.”
I exhaled in relief and embraced him. “Thank you.”
“But … he took a hit to the gut, it went straight through. The bullet to the arm was superficial as well. The one that concerns me is the leg. Fortunately for Lev, it was a 22 caliber and the bullet was still in the tibia. I removed it, was able to find the missing two pieces and set the tibia, but it needs stabilized. A cast of some kind. He’ll never heal correctly without it.”
“Okay, easy solution. I need an hour tops,” I said. “I can take Corbin, or go myself to the animal hospital. Cade and I went there, it’s not far at all and I don’t think it was hit because it’s off the beaten path.”
Ben shook his head. “It’s too dangerous. Not with those people out there.”
“You think they’re still out there? Maybe they just hit us, raided us and left.”
Again, he shook his head.
“What happened here? How are you?” I noticed the butterfly sutures on his forehead.
“I’m damn lucky to be alive,” he said. “When Corbin told me you went out alone, I didn’t think much of it until I smelled the dead. He said you smelled it too and I sent him for you. I didn’t want to tell Lev, until after Corbin went out for you. I did, and got the reaction I expected. He was mad. I mean, taking Seltzer out around the property fence is one thing … going to the lake ... a whole other ball game.”
“Then what happened?”
“Nila, honestly, it happened so fast. I had a couple bites of breakfast, went to use the john. While I’m in there, I hear commotion. Then I heard a gunshot, a scream, I open up the outhouse door and two men came from the cabin, I pulled my gun and when I saw them aim at me, I slammed the outhouse door and a bullet just seared right in, hit me here.” He pointed to his head. “Grazed me, but it knocked me back and out. I came to when I heard Corbin calling out.”
“Well, they probably thought they killed you. They took everything, Ben.”
“Not everything.”
“Yeah, we still have the stuff under the floor.”
“And the station wagon,” Ben said. “Corbin has been hiding stuff in that. He didn’t trust Scott.”
“Scott.’ I sighed. “He’s missing.”
Ben chuckled. “Scott isn’t missing, Nila, come on, he did this. Corbin wasn’t crazy at all. Scott sent smoke signals, He led them here. Probably knew he had a week until his friends arrived. Went up there to wait and then they came here.”
“This is unreal,” I shook my head.
“Nila!” Corbin called out and came from around the back of the cabin. “Some lady on the radio, KA4? She’s calling.”
KA4, That was Helena.
“Tell her I’m coming.” Immediately I ran for the cabin, as soon as I stepped inside, I saw Lev on the couch. He was still out and I paused to run my hand down his arm.
I was excited and relieved to hear from Helena. She knew what was going on out there. She also had told me once about a camp in Bedford, Ohio. Maybe we’d be safer joining others once Lev was better.
I grabbed the radio and called her name with emotional relief. “Helena.”
“Hey, there Sweet Pea, how’s it going?”
“Oh my God, horrible. We got hit. We got hit bad. I think they used an infected as a diversion once they got in. They took everything we had, shot and killed our people. It was calculated.”
“I’m sorry, Sweet Pea.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m sorry that you are still alive.”
My heart immediately took a nosedive to my gut and I could barely breathe. “What?”
“Yeah. I guess my scouting party figured if they hit early enough, they’d get you all. They weren’t supposed to really kill you. Just take your stuff and tell you to leave. I got word that some guy fired first and well, they had to defend themselves.”
“You … you did this? Why?”
“We have nothing. We lost everything to a band of fellas and a hoard of infected.”
“Why didn’t you say something? I would have helped you.”
“No you wouldn’t have. You have enough for your group to survive,” Helena said. “Then again, I didn’t realize how much growth possibility you had down at your place. From what I hear, it ca
n accommodate forty of us.”
“I never told you where we were.”
“Didn’t need to. You just told me your name. Aren’t many Nila and Levons that are together. Scott heard, he knew.”
Suddenly I went from shock to anger. Hearing Ben speculate about Scott was one thing, knowing for fact is another.
“You’re a nice lady, Sweet Pea,” Helena said. “Scott don’t want you dead. So here’s the deal. Me and the rest of my people will be arriving tomorrow afternoon. You be gone. You and what’s left of your people, you leave. If you’re gone, good. If not, we kill you. We have about forty of us. Don’t believe me, just wait around to find out.”
“We have an injured man.”
“Not my problem.”
“Just take Big Bear. This is my home.”
“Oh, we plan on taking Big Bear, in fact we have. We want your place and we don’t trust you so close. I’m sure you aren’t comfortable with us that close. That’s it. Leave by tomorrow afternoon and you stay alive.”
“If we agree to leave, you get your people to stay away from us until then.”
“Deal. And don’t try to destroy that property. We can see you.”
I knew at that moment she had ended transmission. Enraged, furious, all the negative feelings swirled inside of me and I stood. I walked straight out the door to the RV, grabbed the binoculars that hung from the back then climbed to the top.
Across a small field began a long semi steep slope. At the top was the back section of Big Bear. The area where the long time campers like Edi and her husband, stayed. My eyes peered to the top of that hill. I could see figures. I lifted the binoculars. They must have known she was radioing because eight of them stood there. One even had the audacity to wave.
Eight of them.
I needed to come up with something; I needed a plan. I couldn’t give up my home without a fight. But even if Helena exaggerated about how many were in her group, we were outnumbered. With our strongest man down, how could we defeat those odds?
FIFTEEN – LIGHT BULB
In my favorite spot, on the top step of the front porch, I finished a cigarette and flicked the butt out to the grass. I took a sip of bourbon and lit another. I was looking for something, anything to calm me down. Truth was, I hadn’t had a cigarette in a long time. Actually, I had not had one since that night when I drove off with my drunken friends. Lev had taken them from my hand and the one from my mouth, and said, ‘You are not the bad girl, Nila. You are not bad. Stop trying to be.’
In the aftermath of all that happened, I wanted so much to be that bad girl. To be the type of person whose anger and rage fueled and padded the courage to do something and stand by my convictions. Instead, I was far from bad. My anger fueled fear, worry, and perhaps cowardice. I was confused and was bitter because I needed Lev. Not to protect me, but help me figure out what to do. It was easy for Ben and Corbin as this wasn’t their home. This wasn’t their land or a cabin that their father had built with his own hands. This was mine. And someone wanted it. No, they didn’t just want. They were going to take it, with force if need be.
I hated that.
I was crushed.
It killed me to see Lev so weak. To make matters worse his leg truly needed to be set in some sort of cast, or medical splint. On top of that, we had to move him. Ben said there was nothing we could do.
Fuck that.
“Nila, I will make a splint out of wood. We’ll make it work for now.”
“Wouldn’t it be better if we set it permanently?” I asked.
“Would it be best to set it properly before we move him? Yes. But there’s nothing we can do. We don’t have a choice in the matter.”
“Yes, we do.”
“At what cost? Your life? No.”
Again, fuck that.
I made the decision to take the truck and head down to that veterinarian clinic. It wasn’t that far. They would have what we needed. They would have the plaster, the bandages, whatever it took. “Make me a list.” I said to Ben.
“I can’t believe you’re going to do this. Think about your daughter. What would she do if something happened to you?” Ben tried to persuade me.
“Nothing is going to happen to me. I’m heading straight there. I can out run the dead, and I’ll plow through any infected. I’ve been down there. There’s not that many. I can make it there and back in less than an hour.”
“What about those men on the hill?”
“Helena said they’d leave us alone.”
Ben laughed. “Really? You’re trusting the word of the people that robbed you? That raided your home? That killed our people?”
“What choice do I have?”
“Stay. Let me make a splint. A temporary one that will work for us to move him.”
I thought about it for moment, and then simply said, “Please keep an eye on my daughter. This camp will be safe.”
It was stupid. Yes. But it was something I had to do. Admittedly, I was glad Corbin came with me. He and I took Lev’s truck, secured the gate after we pulled through, went down to the main road and headed to the veterinarian hospital. .
“They’re going to follow us,” said Corbin.
“You think?”
“Yeah. I mean, especially if they see one truck leaving and other people left behind.”
He had a point. I kept looking in the rearview mirror.
There were two things on the way to the veterinarian hospital, that surprised me. One, they didn’t follow us. I admit that the prospect of them tailing us made me a little frightened. What would they do with us? Would they kill us as well? The other thing that surprised me was the amount of infected. There weren’t hoards of them, but there were a lot. A minimal amount of infected, small groups of five or six, staggered about the road running after us as we went by them. I had to wonder if these people, the ones that hit our camp, brought the infected. Maybe led them to us as some sort of offensive move.
I was alone with Corbin for the first time. Away from all the craziness and I realized I hadn’t said anything to him. We were so consumed by all that happened I hadn’t mentioned the fact that he lost his mother.
“I’m sorry about your mother,” I said. “I really am. That was tragic. She was a wonderful person and didn’t deserve that.”
I looked over to him and he was staring out the window.
Corbin cleared his throat and looked at me, “Thank you. Thank you for that.”
A few more moments of silence passed.
“I never asked about your wife, Sawyer’s mom,” I said. “If it’s too painful to talk about. I understand. I was just curious.”
“We weren’t married. Sawyer’s mom died before that all this craziness. She died when Sawyer was two years old. She was an addict. She OD’d when he was with her. I was at work when I got the call. My son was alone for hours. Probably why I am so anti drug now,” he said. “Me, my Mom and Dad, were all he had in this world. Now they’re gone. I have to be there for him. You know that feeling. You’re in the same position.”
I was. I also wondered if I didn’t have Katie, would I be bowing out and leaving my home so easily?
There had to be a solution, there had to be. How could someone just strong arm us like that and get away with it? It was a new world, with new rules.
We arrived at the hospital, and just as I suspected, it was so far away from anything, that we didn’t see a single infected. It looked exactly as me and Cade left it months earlier. I suspected it hadn’t been touched.
After parking the truck, I stepped out and looked around.
“We need to make it fast, incase they do come looking for us,” I said and opened the back door that Cade and I had used previously.
“Is there anything left?” Corbin asked. “Didn’t you and Brian wipe it out?”
“No, we took only what we needed,” I said and led us down the hall. “Check the rooms. See if you see plaster bandages, anything with the word plaster. That’s what Ben said we
needed. I’ll check the storeroom.”
“I’ll look for the operating room. Usually vets store stuff in there. “
I nodded and went into the storeroom. As soon as I stepped inside I thought about Cade and how he’d known exactly what to look for. I had a list from Ben. It was short. The bandages, antibiotics, I knew where to get them. Cade had shown me before.
My mind was beyond full. I thought of Cade, of Lev, of the cabin and how many memories were made there. Why couldn’t I fix it? Why couldn’t I figure out a way?
I grabbed things I suspected would work. Corbin returned not long after he started searching, he had found the plaster bandages. We grabbed a ton, figuring with kids, we might need it again.
It was when we finished gathering all that we could that I saw it locked in a cabinet. Seeing it behind lock and key made me stop. Apomorphine. My husband Paul was allergic to dogs, but before marrying him, I had a dog all my life. I wasn’t sure what Apomorphine was used for exactly in humans, but I knew why the vet had it and knowing why the vet had it, gave me an idea of what I needed to do.
FROM LEV’S SIDE
I thought I had died.
There was never a time in my life when I doubted the existence of God and Heaven, so when I was face to face with my father who had passed away months earlier, I knew for certain that I didn’t live through that attack.
“Hang in there, Lev, hang in there. You’re doing good,” my father said.
“Thanks.”
“Almost there. Just hang on.”
Then I realized that I hadn’t died and it may have looked like my father, but it was a dream and the voice was Ben’s.
I drifted in and out of consciousness a lot as he worked on me. Never fully wakening enough to respond, always falling back into some sort of dream. Daggers of horrendous pain would shoot through me, causing me to wake but I never registered it completely.
I had survived and I felt emotionally destroyed.
The night before it all happened, I was talking to Nila, laying across the foot of her bed. I was so tired that I was nodding off while talking and said nonsense several times. She laughed at me and I finally passed out.
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