“When did you eat last?” I asked.
“This morning I had pretzels. Are they dead?”
I took another drink.
“I’ll assume they are.”
I shook my head. “Christina died. I’m sorry.”
Her eyes widened. “But the baby is still alive?”
The moment I said, “Yes,” she jumped up. I stopped her. “Ben is still working up there. Give him a few more minutes.”
She slid back down on to the barstool.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“Bella.”
“Bella, that’s a beautiful name. How old are you?”
“How old are you? What’s with all the questions?” Bella snapped.
“I’m just trying to get to know you.”
“Well don’t okay. I’m tired of getting to know people and then they die.” She shoved a chip in her mouth and chomped hard.
“I hear you.” I finished my drink.
After a few seconds of silence between us, with Lev and the kids voices in the background, she said, “I knew her the longest.”
I poured some more whisky in my glass, then looked at her, letting her know she had my attention.
“We met right after the outbreak,” Bella said. “I lost my mom and dad, she lost her family. We had been travelling together a few weeks when we met up with Fleck and the gang.” She pointed up. “Fleck is the guy upstairs.”
I nodded. “So they aren’t family?”
“Not blood. But in this world now, you become family pretty fast.”
She was right. Strangers became people you held on to, and quickly, too. My attention was drawn away when the kids laughed.
“Did you guys all meet up on the road?” Bella asked.
“Not all. The little girl is my daughter and the guy in the on the table has been my best friend since we were ten.”
“You’re lucky.”
“Yeah, yeah, I am.”
“I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’m fourteen.”
I gave her a gentle smile. “It’s okay, I understand. But don’t expect me to tell you my age.” I winked.
“Did you find the others on the road?”
“They found us. We were pretty safe and settled at my father’s cabin. We had all we needed.”
“Why did you leave?” she asked.
“You could say we didn’t have a choice.” I brought my drink to my lips. “But we’ll go back. We’ll get our stuff back. I’m sure of it.”
Again, laughter caught my attention. What was he telling them?
“So don’t let her tell you otherwise,” Lev said. His voice was hoarse. “She didn’t comb her hair right and your pap cut it off. She was twelve.”
“That’s not true,’ I hollered his way. “You forgot he cut my hair off after Belinda already cut it during social studies.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s right,” Lev said.
“Is that true?” Bella asked.
“Yep.” I raised my eyebrows. “She was a bully and she sat behind me. Cut off a big section of my long hair.. I walked around all morning without noticing until kids started making fun of me at lunch.”
“That’s terrible. What did you do?”
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was a scared, timid girl. Revenge was a fantasy not my strong point at that time. I didn’t have it in me.”
“What about now?”
I paused in answering, contemplated that question, exhaled, took a drink and said, “Maybe.”
It was apparent, after a few minutes more of talking to me, Bella became antsy, I told her as soon as we got things situated I would get her some food, real food, and then I encouraged her to go on upstairs to check on the baby.
I hadn’t eaten yet, and those two drinks went to my head. I felt a little woozy so I grabbed a small bag of chips and immediately began to eat them as I walked into the other room.
Lev looked a little better, maybe it was my imagination, or maybe it was the energy of the children helping him to heal.
I walked over to where Lev’s makeshift bed was. “Do you need me to move them away so you can get some rest?” I asked.
“No.” He shook his head. “No, let them stay. I’ll let you know when I need rest. We’re having fun. They are taking my mind off of the pain. We are bonding.”
Bonding.
I had news for Lev. For the rest of their lives those children would remember being in that crawlspace of storage, and looking up to the big man who put his life on the line for theirs.
I turned my attention toward Corbin who seemed focused on organizing the supplies in the back of the room behind the pool table.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey.” Corbin paused and dusted off his hands. “I got all the stuff from the truck unloaded.”
“I see that.”
“I didn’t unload the station wagon. I didn’t know how long we’d be here. I put it in the back of the parking lot, you know, where the woods start and the high weeds are? I’ve kind of stuck it in there, parked it sideways, and I leaned an old truck cab against it. Looks like an abandoned vehicle. No one will bother it.”
“Thank you.”
“I also brought some lanterns out. Lot brighter now than when I first closed the doors.” He paused and exhaled heavily. “I’m afraid to ask. I ain’t never seen so much blood in all my life. Even with the infected. I never seen that. Not like I would’ve seen that working at the department store. She was white. So white from all that blood loss. It was sickening. Sad I mean, that’s a better word.”
“It is sad. She passed away.” I said and then paused. “But Ben took the baby. He’s still alive. At least for now, and we’re hopeful.”
Almost with excitement or nervousness, Corbin nodded. “He took the baby after she died?”
“Yes.”
“That sounds so much like Ben. Like something he would do.”
“Yeah, in fact, he said something to that effect. Which leads me to ask you how. How are you able to walk among them without being spotted without them attacking you?”
He stared at me for a second. “Don’t hate me and don’t judge me.”
“I promise I won’t.” I held up my hand.
“I got bit. I got bit by my father right before we got on the boat,” Corbin said. “And you know it hit me right away. I started getting sick. I was fevered. Those black lines were going through me. I picked up the gun and put it to my head. Ben wouldn’t let me do it. He said he would not let me turn, but he wasn’t giving up. Then he cut away the mark on my leg. The bite wasn’t real deep and then we just waited. He treated me. I thought I was going to die. So many days I begged him, ‘give me the gun, give me the gun’. And he just kept saying no. Then as fast as it hit, I woke up the next day and the fever broke. And ever since then those things don’t know me. They don’t see me. Except the dead, they do. The infected. The real dangerous ones. I can walk among them and kill them. Don’t need a gun. Just need to be close. Ben says I’m special, I could be the cure. I don’t know if I believe that, but I’m willing to try, to let them experiment on me if need be.”
That explained it all. Why Ben was so adamant about wanting to get to Canada, why that was his focus. After hearing Corbin’s story of survival, a bit of me wanted to go there as well.
NINETEEN – PAUSE
I didn’t have much interaction with the man named Philip Fleck. However, Corbin did. Immediately after Fleck came down with the baby, he and Corbin went out to get supplies. They aimed for the Rite Aid drugstore about seven miles south. When they got back, they started digging a grave for Christina.
There was a sense of safety going out with Corbin, or sending him out, one that I did not have before. Now I had a reason. When they returned they came back with boatloads of baby supplies. I prayed that it wouldn’t be for naught. That the baby would survive to use every single ounce of formula, every diaper and wear out every nipple on those bottles.
He was a cute little guy w
ithout a name. He would have one soon. Ben had been favoring him, cradling him and not wanting to let go of him. I wondered if there’s a sense of rebirth of his son. That if he could save one person’s son, in a sense he would make up for not being able to save his own.
That was just a guess.
Corbin had gotten the story from Fleck, however I wanted to hear it. When I asked Corbin about it, he said to ask Fleck
Oh, well, thank you.
They hadn’t eaten a real meal in over a day. Not because the Windhaven didn’t have food, but because they were concerned for Christina. They didn’t leave her side.
When we were reeling from our attack they were hiding in the Windhaven.
“There were twelve of us.” Fleck said. “I met Christina and Bella in Georgia. The rest we met on the way. We were doing good. We’d stop. Then move again. Always trying to move. Movement is life.”
“Ha.” I snapped and pointed at him then pointed at Lev.
Fleck continued, “When there were too many of those things around, we’d hunker down and wait for it to clear. It always did. They’d drop off. Recently, they’ve been lasting longer. We didn’t move fast because Christina was pregnant. We didn’t need to, so we took our time. We had enough supplies. We gathered as we went. We wanted for nothing. We had a pretty easy go of it. We had a goal. Until yesterday. Imagine not seeing many people, but when you did, they were all out to help each other. Everyone headed the same way, but at a different pace. Then yesterday morning just before dawn, seven men hit us. They had a load of infected in the back of a trailer. They unleashed a bunch on us when we wouldn’t give them our stuff. That was after, you know, they shot four of our guys and two of our women. The other three were hit by the infected. They took everything we had. They threw Christina and she fell on her stomach. While the infected were busy …” He cringed. “We moved on foot. I knew it was too much for Christina, she was saying it wasn’t but I could see it on her face. That’s when we ended up here.”
They were attacked by seven men. It had to be Helena’s men, it had to be. Before dawn they hit Fleck’s group and not long after they hit ours.
They had a busy morning.
“She kept making me feel,” Bella said. “Hand on her belly. Feel for the baby. She knew she got hurt when she fell.”
“She was good most of the night,” Fleck said. “Then the pain started and the bleeding hit this morning. The infected had followed us and were outside. Not that we’d go anyhow. Then you guys showed. You were a godsend.”
“Don’t know how much of a godsend we are,” I said. “You said you had a goal. Where were you headed?”
“Like everyone else,” Fleck replied. “Canada.”
“Why does everyone want to go there?” I asked. “It can’t possibly be spared.”
“Listen, I know what I heard, I know that I talked to people there. So did others we’ve met along the way. Canada kept the infection down and it burned out. It’s a safe zone.”
It was different when it was just Ben and Corbin saying it. Helena boasted it was just a rumor, but Fleck talked about others headed that way and how people had made radio contact.
Maybe it was a possible destination after all. I hated the thought of going into unknown territory. However, if it was a possibility, we owed it to ourselves to find out.
We would. One day.
After Lev healed, was strong again and without a doubt, after we got our stuff back.
<><><><>
It was by far the best one on one time I had with my daughter in a while. Things had been so busy, sadly, I hadn’t done much more than I needed to. I was sucking as a mother. She had lost her grandmother figure, a woman that took her under her wing, cooked for her and taught her.
I didn’t even ask Katie how she was doing with it.
Although Katie was my strong daughter, the least sensitive, she had a distorted view of the world and drew demented things that showed it. At four years old she had hardly showed that she was traumatized by what happened to the world.
The kids all shared the full size bed in the other bedroom of the upstairs apartment. They lay across the width of the bed to give themselves more room.
Sawyer actually fell asleep in the bar and Corbin carried him up. I told Katie and Billy a story, even though Billy was probably thinking he was too old for it. He fell asleep leaving me and Katie to whisper our conversation.
I kissed her goodnight, but there was a sense of anger. Yes, we were safe, but we should have been in our own cabin, our own beds.
“I’m sorry we’re here,” I said.
“It’s okay Mommy. At least we’re together.”
“That we are.”
“Do you think we’ll ever go home? I want to go home.”
“To the cabin?” I asked. “Yes, I do.”
“No. Home. Our house. I left Angeline there and a couple of ponies.”
Angeline was her puppet. It hit me that we left so quickly my daughter only got to take the toys she could carry in her arms. Children need fun things, toys, and the ones she brought were probably wearing thin on her.
“Will we?” she asked.
“I don’t know, but never say never.” I leaned down and kissed her, said goodnight, waited for her to close her eyes, and then I left.
As I hit the bottom floor, I could hear the baby crying. Tiny shallow cries that reminded me of Addy when she was born. She didn’t cry much and that worried the doctors. She only made peeping sounds and they said it was because she wasn’t using her lungs.
We had to encourage her to cry. In other words, give her a reason to wail.
There was only one lantern lit and that was in the other room near Lev. The bar portion was dark, but not too dark I couldn’t see to pour a drink.
Corbin was walking with the baby in his arms, he held a bottle near his mouth, but wasn’t feeding him.
“You know, he would stop crying if you fed him.”
“Not yet. He needs to open up his lungs. Hear that wimpy cry. I’ll let him go another minute.”
That made me smile. I had just been thinking that.
“Did you want to hold him?” Corbin asked.
“Um, no, but thanks.”
“You don’t like him?”
“I’m just nervous around babies. Always have been. Maybe later when you need a break and after I finish my drink.” I walked over to Lev and pulled up a chair. He was propped at an angle. “Does Ben know you are bent up?”
“Yes, he was the one who did it. I am allowed to try and move tomorrow. He said the next few days he’ll get me an air cast.”
“Then we get a mobile Lev.”
“So why are you not liking the baby?” Lev asked.
I shook my head.
“Nila, I know you. What’s up?”
“I like him, I mean how can you not, right?” I shrugged. “I feel bad because his mother didn’t want him born. She didn’t want him growing up without her watching over him. As a mother … that’s a horrible feeling. What if I die, who will watch Katie?”
“So if you find yourself dying you want to go ahead and take out Katie, as well.”
“No! Oh my god.”
“That’s what you’re saying.”
“No, it’s not, it’s what Christina said and … I can feel that.”
“Life is life right now.” He reached out and laid his hand on mine. “We will honor his mother and protect him. What is that saying, it takes a village to raise a child. Well he arrived at the village. He has a home wherever we go.”
“Speaking of homes.”
“I hear you talk about going back to get our stuff at the cabin,” Lev said. “You know that won’t happen.”
“It will.”
“No, Nila, it won’t. That’s the past.”
“Well, I have a feeling. Anyhow … Katie was talking about how she left things at the house when we left. I was thinking, when Corbin heads towards Cranberry for the air cast, maybe him and I could go to my h
ouse.”
“The highway is closed.”
“There are other ways I’m sure aren’t blocked off.”
Lev rested his head back. “Nila, is it that important? It’s so dangerous.”
“It is important. I never really got to say goodbye to that part of my life, to my father’s house. That was our street, Lev. As you know … I don’t need your permission, but I’d like to have your blessing.”
“I would feel better if I was going.”
“I know you would. You being in dangerous situations can’t happen for a while.” I rested my other hand over his. “We also don’t know how long we are gonna be right here, this close. I’ll be protected.” I nodded my head toward Corbin. “He’s a force to be reckoned with.”
“How about that? Ben thinks he has immunity factors that can be useful to someone working on the virus.”
“Do you really think there’s anyone working on it? I mean, eventually these things die. So eventually the virus will die out.”
“It’s a vicious cycle,” he said. “It won’t be like the movies where people are overrun, but as long as there is one infected, there’s a chance another can get it. Do I think someone’s working on it?” He shook his head. “No. I also don’t think there’s an unscathed world in Canada.”
“Everyone seems to think we’re gonna cross the border and miraculously there is going to be a populated civilized world just waiting on us. It’s gonna be empty.”
“And cold.”
“Yeah, cold. How are we supposed to survive? We have supplies, but it’s not nearly enough.”
“If we get there and it isn’t the Promised Land,” Lev said. “Then you, me and Katie will head south and keep going south.”
“We should just go back to the cabin,” I murmured.
“I heard that.” Lev squeezed my hand. “That’s not going to happen and you need to accept that. Plus, isn’t this what you wanted to do in the first place? Search for life?”
“Yes, but I wanted to do it on my own terms.”
“Then make it your terms. We had it pretty easy, now we don’t. We will again. One thing is for certain. You, me, Katie … we’ll do it together.”
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