Now I knew.
“Are the police with you?” she asked, glancing around with a stricken look on her face.
“No. I came to talk to you,” I replied, straightening off the wall.
Derek’s dark head appeared out of the room. “Everything okay?”
“I… yes,” Laura said.
I glanced at him and nodded.
“I’ll just be in here if you need me,” he said softly, holding my gaze.
“Thanks.”
When he was gone, I turned back to Laura.
“Would you mind if we went a little farther down the hall to talk? I don’t want my son to overhear,” she requested.
I gestured for her to walk, and I fell into step beside her. At the end of the hall was a large private waiting room. Because it was later in the evening, it was empty. We stepped into the room, and I crossed to a nearby chair against the wall.
Laura chose one opposite me.
“Why haven’t you told the police?” she asked, blunt. “Is it because of Derek?”
Her candor was a relief. I didn’t want to dance around this. I didn’t want to listen to her excuses. I just wanted the truth, and I wanted to look into her eyes.
“It’s partly because of Derek,” I admitted. “You’ve put him in a terrible position. You know that, right?”
Her eyes filled with tears, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “Yes, I’m well aware of the damage I’ve done to my relationship with my brother.”
“Even after everything you’ve done, he still doesn’t think you deserve to go to jail.” I cocked my head to the side. “Why is that?”
“Because I love my son.”
“Loving someone doesn’t give you a free pass,” I said.
“I know that. I made the only decision I could in an hour of desperation. I had a choice the night I set all this into motion. Kidnap you or continue to watch my son die. I chose the one I could live with.”
“You know they planned to kill me, right? Sell off my body parts.”
She blanched and wrapped her arms across her middle. “I told them to leave you alive. I told them to take you to a hospital.”
“That doesn’t make it okay,” I said, anger shaking my voice.
“I know that.”
“Are you even sorry at all?” I asked, my voice sort of bewildered. She was so matter-of-fact, so willing to just admit it all and make no excuses.
“Of course I am.” This time, her voice shook with emotion. “I ruined my relationship with my brother, a man I love and who stepped in to basically help raise my son. I risked his life. I risked your life. I know it was wrong. I knew it was wrong the second I agreed to it. But I did it anyway. I’d do anything for my son.”
Her words didn’t make me angry. They didn’t even make me disgusted. They just made me incredibly sad.
Derek was right. She was just a person who turned desperate, and that desperation pushed her to do things she shouldn’t have done.
I really wasn’t sure what was left to say. Honestly, I expected more. More arguments, more anger, more need for justice.
Seemed to me she was already in her own personal hell. The only thing worse would be putting her in jail and quite possibly robbing her of the only time she had left with her son.
The meter is running…
How could I take away a child’s mother? How could I rob anyone of the precious time that never seemed to be enough.
She tried to take away your time.
But in the end, she didn’t.
Maybe I was stupid. Maybe I was in shock. Or maybe I just didn’t have the strength it took to punish her.
“I am sorry.” She spoke out, interrupting my internal debate. I stared into her eyes. She didn’t look away. “You said Derek was only part of the reason you hadn’t told. What’s the other reason?”
I shrugged. “I guess part of me understands why you did it.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “It’s so hard to see him this way.”
My own tears threatened to emerge. I bolted up from the chair. I refused to cry in front of her. I didn’t want to feel sorry for her. I didn’t want to feel compassion.
“Derek said he’d introduce me to Rocco,” I said, turning away.
“I’ll just go get some coffee and maybe get some fresh air. Give you some time.”
I wondered about the last time she’d been outside. When she’d left the hospital at all. Did she feel as much a prisoner as I had when I was in that silo? Except her chain wasn’t around her wrist, but around her heart.
At the door, she called my name.
I stopped.
“Please don’t tell my son.”
I walked away without replying.
26
Rose
The sound of laughter washed over me like a ray of sun on a stormy day. The brightness in the sound was so pure it was almost infectious.
Almost.
I knocked on the door as I stepped inside the room. Two dark heads looked up from a pile of cards.
Just like that, I knew exactly how Derek looked as a child. Rocco looked just like him. Except his eyes were blue.
“Hey,” Derek said, pushing up from his chair and coming to where I stood. I felt his eyes assess me, his sharp appraisal. “You okay?” he mouthed so Rocco couldn’t hear.
“I will be,” I said and smiled.
He held out his hand, and I surrendered mine.
“Rocco, this is the coffee fairy I was telling you about,” Derek said, pulling me along with him toward the bed.
“Hi!” he said, smiling. He was missing a front tooth. “You make good hot chocolate, too.”
I smiled. “That was for you?” I’d forgotten about the day Derek not only grabbed something for him, but an extra as well. At the time, he’d just said it was a treat for a patient.
He nodded. “Uncle Derek never drank coffee until you started making it for him.”
I burst out laughing.
“Don’t tell her all my secrets, man.” Derek hushed him.
Rocco just shrugged like he didn’t know it had been a secret.
“So I hear you’re good at poker.” I moved closer to look down at the cards. “Will you teach me?”
“You don’t know how to play?” he asked dubiously.
“I know the basics,” I admitted, “but I’m not very good.”
After that, I got the kind of card lesson that convinced me the boy was going to be a card shark when he grew up.
If he got the chance. I shoved away the thought violently. I couldn’t even comprehend a world in which this boy died because of something like failing kidneys.
How did Derek do this every day? Not just with his nephew, but with patient after patient?
Derek hadn’t been exaggerating when he said Rocco was a master at the game. He was funny, too. His personality was bright. Even though he was in the hospital, he still made me laugh.
Just sitting here with him, even though we were laughing and having fun, was so difficult. It was beyond challenging to watch someone be brave, even accepting, in the face of a storm. It was like his condition was all he knew, like he just found the silver lining in his young and limited life.
I’d seen adults with less grace than this boy. I’d heard them at my coffee truck. I’d eavesdropped on the nurses’ conversations while they stirred their brew. Most people were bitter, angry, or even resigned.
Rocco’s happy personality said a lot about him. It said a lot about the people around him and the love and support he received on a daily basis.
It spoke volumes about his mother, the woman who sat at his side day in and day out.
Every once in a while, I’d glance at Derek, and it was like he knew exactly what I was thinking. He’d only nod imperceptibly and then turn back to the game.
After he’d beaten us both and I was embarrassed, Rocco glanced between Derek and me. “Are you guys dating?”
“Why do you think that?” I asked.
I glanced down, startled. I hadn’t even realized. By the look on Derek’s face, he hadn’t either.
“I asked her out. She said no,” Derek told him, making a face like he was sad.
Rocco’s eyes bulged. “You must not have done a very good job asking, then.”
I laughed.
Derek scowled. “Whose side are you on?”
He shrugged. “Mom says ladies first.”
My hand tightened around Derek’s. I tried desperately to hide my reaction. It felt like I was being kicked every time more evidence was presented that Laura was just a good mother in a bad situation.
“Your mom’s right. Ladies first.” Derek relented.
Rocco’s eyes wandered to the TV, and I used the moment to compose myself. This room was far too “lived in.” Toys and books scattered about, blankets and pillows from home. Rocco wasn’t even wearing the horrible hospital gown. Instead, he had on a pair of colorful pajamas and a bright-green robe.
When was the last time this little boy was anywhere but here?
The presence of monitors, tubes, and equipment reminded me he might never go home again.
I cleared my throat and stood the very same moment Laura stepped into the room. The color was back in her cheeks, and there was a Styrofoam cup in her hand.
“I’m thinking someone needs to go to bed,” she said, pointedly looking at Rocco.
He rolled his eyes. “Aww, Mom. Can I watch one video first?” he asked, picking up what looked like an iPod.
“Just one,” she replied, smiling. The love she felt for her son shone out of her eyes and made her look a little less exhausted.
“We’re outta here, Roc,” Derek said and stood. “I’ll see ya tomorrow.” He leaned forward and kissed the boy on his head, ruffling his hair.
Before he could pull back, thin arms wound around his neck and hugged. “Bye, Uncle Derek.”
It was hard to breathe in here. I felt hot and a little dizzy. I just wanted to get out. I wanted to go home.
“Bye, Rose,” Rocco said after Derek stepped back.
His mother cleared her throat.
“Miss Rose.” He corrected.
Laura nodded approvingly.
“Bye, Rocco,” I said, pushing out the words. “Thanks for the poker lesson.”
“Anytime!”
I rushed out into the hallway and sucked in a deep breath.
Seconds later, Derek appeared, pulling me against his front. My arms wound around his middle, and I clung to him tightly right there in the center of the hall. He wrapped me tight in his arms, and we hugged for a while before he gently nudged me toward the elevators.
Once inside, he said, “How’d it go with Laura?”
“She’s just like you said.”
He nodded, not looking happy he’d been right.
“He looks just like you,” I whispered, my voice like an echo.
“I know,” he replied.
Why was life so fragile? Why was love? Why did it seem like such a battle to keep both yet so easy to lose either?
By the time we pulled up to my place, I was so exhausted I could barely keep my eyes open. Derek carried me into the apartment and didn’t put me down until we reached my bed. I discarded all my clothes, pulled on a T-shirt, and let down my hair.
After I crawled between the sheets, I glanced up at Derek and lifted the blankets higher, inviting him in.
All his clothes but his boxer briefs hit the floor, and my body fit right alongside his the second he lay down.
Once again, I listened to the rhythm of his heart. I thought about how, when I was kidnapped, I wondered if every heartbeat was a unique sound.
Derek’s convinced me it was. I’d certainly never heard a sound so captivating until I’d laid my ear upon his chest. As I listened, I pictured the measure of the heart beat tattoo stretched across his back.
It wasn’t exactly as I thought when I first saw it, but more.
It was the measure of Rocco’s heartbeat and Derek’s resolve to have faith it wouldn’t cease far too soon.
I don’t know how long we lay there, not saying a word, wrapped up in each other’s arms. But I knew it had been hours.
“I can’t do it,” I said finally, knowing he was still awake. “I can’t tell the police.” Once the words were out, I felt a sense of peace I hadn’t realized I was lacking.
It was crazy, some people might not agree, but it felt right.
“I know,” he murmured, rubbing my back in the most comforting way.
“How did you know?” I questioned. “I only just figured it out.”
“I saw it in your eyes when you looked at Rocco.” Perhaps he had, because really, it was him that convinced me more than Laura herself that going to police wasn’t an answer to what had been done to me. Or to Derek.
It seemed the answer was forgiveness. No, I couldn’t lie here and say I forgave Laura, because it was still too raw, still too new. But maybe someday I’d be able to find it within myself to forgive her for what she set into motion.
So many times I’d heard the saying forgiveness is a choice. I never understood that until now. I was choosing to forgive Laura, even though I wasn’t quite there yet, I was working toward it. I was hopeful.
Just like Derek, I had faith.
“Do you think I’m wrong?” I wondered in the dark. Just because I was choosing this didn’t mean it was easy. I questioned myself, my decision, but maybe that just meant it was right. The right choice wasn’t always easy.
He made a sound, stroking my hip with his palm. “I don’t think I’m the right person to ask about that.”
“You’re glad.” It wasn’t a surprise. This was his family.
“I want my nephew to have his mother,” he stated simply.
So did I.
I also wanted him to have a shot at a normal, full life.
“Derek?” I asked after a while.
“Hmm?”
“Would it be possible to give one of my kidney’s to him?”
Under me, his body tensed and went still at the same time. Against my ear, his heart skipped a beat.
“That’s a very big decision. One that should take a lot of time and thought.” He cautioned me.
“But would it be possible?” I asked.
“There would need to be tests to see.” He hedged again, like he couldn’t even let himself consider the possibility. He almost didn’t dare to hope.
“Derek, is it a possibility?” I cut off the rest of his words, just wanting to know if there were actual proper, legal channels in which I could potentially save Rocco’s life without putting mine in danger.
After a long minute, his reply was low and hoarse. “Yes.”
I thought a little bit longer. “Could I still have kids if I only had one kidney?”
“Whose kids!” he demanded, forgetting everything else. Against my hip, his hand flexed.
Oh my. He was territorial.
I smiled against his chest. “Yours?”
His hand unclenched, and a sound of satisfaction filled the room. “In that case, yes.”
“It’s something to think about,” I murmured, settling just a little bit closer against him.
Abruptly, he rolled, both his arms tucked around me so I lay in their circle. Through the darkness, I felt his stare, looking up into eyes that hovered so close to mine.
“Giving someone an organ is a big decision. There’s risk and pain involved. The recovery is long and hard.”
“Good thing I have a really good doctor.” I teased.
His teeth flashed in the dark but disappeared almost as quickly. “I’m serious, Rose. Your emotions are running high. You’ve been through a lot. This isn’t a choice to make quickly.”
“I know,” I whispered and rubbed my palm against his jaw. “I just wanted to know if it was possible.”
He kissed me softly. “I would never ask you to do anything like this. Espec
ially for Laura’s son.”
“I’m not doing it for her. Or even you,” I told him honestly. “If I do it, it will be for Rocco. And for me.”
“I’m gonna fall hard for you,” he vowed. “And I’m never going to let you go.”
“Never is a pretty long time,” I told him. We were new, too, so new I couldn’t even be sure we’d be able to make it work. Or even if after all this dust settled, we’d even like each other.
But oh my.
I wanted him. I wanted those words. I wanted to sleep in his arms every night going forward.
“Not long enough.” He spoke gruffly and lowered his lips to mine once more.
I smiled as we kissed until my smiles turned to moans and my body succumbed to his. The start to our relationship had been as bumpy as a cab ride in the city… but I had a feeling our destination would only end in wonderful things.
Our meter started now.
EPILOGUE
Derek
Two years later…
Rose saved my nephew’s life.
She became a living donor and gave him one of her kidney’s.
Even after everything she’d suffered—all of it at the hands of Rocco’s mother—she still found the compassion and selflessness to give him what he truly needed.
His body accepted her kidney like it’d been there all along. Even a year after the transplant, his body showed no signs of rejection.
He was healthy and whole again. His cheeks had color; his eyes didn’t have bags. He still beat me at poker every Sunday, but it wasn’t from a hospital bed, but from the living room while we ate pizza and chips.
It only took me about two weeks to fall in love with Rose. But honestly, it wasn’t that far of a fall. I think she claimed a little piece of me the day we met.
We never told anyone about Laura’s involvement in our taxi-cab kidnappings. After all this time, I knew we never would.
Laura remained a single mother who devoted all her time and energy to her career and son.
My relationship with her would never be what it was.
Was it the price of Rocco’s life or a tragic loss of a bond I thought would always be there?
Both.
We were cordial to each other now. We made an effort for Rocco. Even two years later, Rose never saw Laura except at birthday parties and holidays. They kept a distance from each other even then. My girl would never be friends with my sister, and I would never want her to be.
Taxi (Take It Off #11) Page 21