Alyssa laughed and kissed my cheek when I told her what I’d done. Then she waited patiently next to the door as I ran down to the front desk to try to get someone to open the room for me. Once they did and we were in the room, we were both lectured about the danger of unattended candles. After the hotel clerk finally left, I sat on the couch looking sheepishly at Alyssa. I felt like I’d fucked up the whole night and that she must think I was such a loser.
Instead of laughing or calling me a fuckhead, Alyssa moved closer and ran her hand down the inside of my thigh, causing my stomach to tighten. Her soft lips brushed my cheek. With my body burning from the inside out at her touch, I turned my head and captured her mouth. I ran my fingers up into her hair, underneath her bun as I had done on so many other occasions, but my hand caught on something. Yanking at my fingers to shake them loose, I accidentally jerked her head back. I tried again to pull my hand back from her hair, but it was stuck. When I gave it a third tug, Alyssa groaned with pain.
“Just give me a second,” I said anxiously, gently coaxing her to look away.
She chuckled as I started to pull out all sorts of wire and crap from her hair until I released my hand. I seriously wondered how she could have that much metal in her head and still be upright.
“Sorry, I think the hairdresser might have gone a little overboard,” she said, followed by another throaty chuckle.
Ten minutes later, I finally had her hair loose and we were laughing together at the pile of fasteners.
“Are there any other traps I should know about?” I asked.
“Well, there is the chastity belt.”
“There'd better not be,” I murmured, sliding my hand up the outside of her thigh, pushing her dress up as I went. Once I reached her hips, I found her panties. I grazed my finger from her hip into her centre and back out. She pushed her body against my hand.
“That’s lucky,” I whispered.
“Maybe you need to check again?” she asked, her eyes hooded with lust.
I grinned at her. Fuck, she was a goddess. “Soon.”
Full of desire, I tried my seduction again, pressing my mouth to hers. Our tongues danced together and she let me guide her against the seat of the couch. My body pinned hers and I had no doubt she could feel the hold she had over me. My cock strained for her touch, and I could barely imagine being inside her. After running my hand over her shoulders, I tried to brush my fingers through her hair again, but it was still full of hairspray. It crinkled to touch, and the sensation was distracting. I liked Alyssa au natural.
“Why don’t we have a shower?” I suggested.
It was her turn to grin at me, her breathing nervous again. It wasn’t like we hadn’t seen each other naked before—but we both knew this time would be different. There were expectations and a new weight in every movement. “Okay.”
I stood and offered her my hand. When she was standing, I swept my arm underneath her body, lifting her as she giggled and squealed.
“Put me down, Dec,” she said through fits of laughter.
“I’ve got you,” I said.
Her fighting slowed.
I met her gaze. “I’ve got you, Lys. I always will.”
Her laughter and mock-fighting stopped as she wrapped her arms around my neck. She pressed her face against my chest and I could have been wrong, but I swore she inhaled.
Although she wasn’t heavy, she was balanced a little oddly and her dress trailed between her legs. I kicked it out of the way twice, but the third time it tangled around my ankle. I knew putting Alyssa down would spoil the moment, so I was determined to keep going. With one leg tangled, I half walked, half hopped toward the bedroom.
I hit a clump of the rose petals I’d scattered earlier, and felt my footing slip. “Shit!”
Alyssa wiggled in my arms, no doubt sensing I was about to fall. “Dec!”
I managed to keep us both upright long enough to throw Alyssa onto the bed, but the action made the material caught around my leg pull taut and I tripped over it. The sound of ripping satin filled the air and a large section of Alyssa’s skirt came away. She lay on the bed laughing as I stood, the blue material of her dress draped around my shoulders and over my head. I started laughing too and offered her my hand for the second time.
Once she was standing, I saw that what little of her dress remained intact had no structural integrity. I brushed it away with my hand and it fell to the floor. All thoughts of showers, romance and everything else flew out the window. I attacked her with the ferocity of my kiss—that’s the only word for it. My mouth was urgent against hers and her tongue responded in kind. She pushed my jacket off, and yanked on the bowtie that was resting around my neck. It was like she couldn’t undress me fast enough, couldn’t kiss me hard enough, and couldn’t touch me as much as she needed. Each item of clothing she removed was tossed across the room haphazardly. Once she’d relieved me of my shirt, her mouth moved to caress my chest, and her tongue performed minor miracles on the skin there.
I stood and unzipped my pants. I pulled them free and did a move that in the moment I thought would be impressive—I whirled them around my head before launching them across the room, straight into a fucking lamp, which crashed to the ground with a bang.
Alyssa and I roared with laughter. I had no idea how much that would cost my dad—or how many times I would have to mow the lawn to pay it off—but at that moment, I didn’t care. I was right in front of Alyssa and there was nothing between us but her panties and my boxers. We met each other’s gazes and she smiled before nodding.
We each made short work of our own barriers and then the reality hit me. Holy shit. We were actually going to do this. My heart hammered at a thousand RPM as I slid the condom on. I wondered whether Alyssa’s heartbeat matched mine, racing in her chest and filling her with need. I leaned over her, going back to taking it slow. With two fingers on the hand cupping my erection, I teased her open. I pressed my mouth to hers and her tongue brushed against my lips.
I hovered over her with my erection straining near her entrance. She tilted her hips up slightly, pushing my fingers deeper and rubbing her wetness along the tip of my cock. I almost exploded then and there.
If we hadn’t spent so many months experimenting with hands and mouths, I probably would have. I drew her into a kiss, hopeful I could distract her as I pushed into her. My biggest fear wasn’t disappointing her, but causing her pain. My heart beat like a military tattoo against my ribcage, but not only out of need. I was so anxious that I might hurt her if I pushed too hard or too fast that I almost couldn’t enjoy myself. As desperate as I was to claim her, there wasn’t a single part of me that wanted my pleasure at any cost to her.
With a tilt of her hips, I slipped in deeper and she grunted.
“Did you want me to stop?” I asked, concerned.
She winced, but shook her head. “Just give it a second.”
I stayed as still as I could, kissing her neck and face as a way to distract her. After a moment, she bucked her hips up toward me. I let her control the rhythm and the depth, but fuck it felt so good to be inside her.
After another few minutes of slow, deliberate movements, Alyssa arched her back and moaned. There was no pain in the sound, and I took it as a sign to push a little deeper. Drawing myself almost the whole way out before plunging back down again felt better than I could have ever believed, and her accompanying moan told me it worked for her too.
Staring into her eyes, I repeated the action. We moaned in unison at the sensation. Alyssa’s hand found my arse and she pulled me even farther into her, hitching one leg around my waist.
“Ow, fuck,” she cried out.
I stilled immediately.
A reassuring smile graced her lips. “It’s all right . . . just a shock.”
“Are you sure? We can try again later if you prefer.”
She shook her head. “I want this. I want you.”
I put my hand on her cheek and pressed my mouth to hers again, movin
g slowly with her. Slowly, our intensity built and my orgasm crashed over me without warning.
Shit.
It wasn’t what I’d planned. I felt like a loser as I rested over the top of her trying to catch my breath. Alyssa kissed my bowed head.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, knowing she had to be disappointed.
She laughed. “It’s all right.”
I climbed off her, feeling myself slide from her, depleted and flaccid. She pushed herself up and rested on her elbows. After I ascertained that I was actually able to stand, I pulled the used condom off, tied it off, wrapped it in a tissue, and threw it into the bathroom bin.
Then I moved back over to the bed and leaned over Alyssa. It wasn’t fair if only one of us was satisfied our first time, and I intended to rectify the issue.
I kissed her mouth deeply before trailing my lips and tongue over her chest, taking each of her nipples into my mouth in turn. My hand traced a path along her thigh, over her stomach, and then over the patch of hair at the apex of her thighs. With a gentle touch, I slipped two fingers into her, moving them slowly and steadily, rocking into her body with a rhythm I knew worked for her. She bucked against my hand and the most wondrous sounds left her lips.
She was so wet and warm around my fingers that I grew hard again in no time. Without thought, I pulled my fingers out and slid my renewed erection inside her. It felt even better with nothing between us. Pressing myself as deeply as I could inside her, I was determined to give her the same pleasure I’d just experienced. I stilled my body so that I didn’t get too excited and come inside her, before rubbing my fingers and thumb along her thighs and tracing across her clit.
She moaned deeply and squeezed her legs tightly around me, pulling my hips flush against hers. My thumb brushed her clit a few more times as my lips worshipped her skin until she came hard around me. Her walls squeezed tightly around my length and my eyes rolled back as I issued a matching groan. I didn’t think anything could ever feel as fantastic as what we’d just shared.
I pulled back out before I got too excited and came again. I stood and noticed a small amount blood on the sheets and around her thighs.
“How about that shower?” I asked her with a smile on my face that I thought would never leave. She reached up and I pulled her off the bed. She limped a little as she stepped away from the bed.
“Fuck. Did I hurt you, Alyssa?” I asked. The thought that I might have caused her pain twisted in my stomach in a torrent of guilt.
She shook her head. “No, it just feels . . . weird.”
I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her neck. “We’ll try again soon.”
“I should hope so. I plan on doing that a lot.”
“So you’re really not hurt?”
She kissed my cheek in response. “I’m really, really not,” she whispered into my ear as she brushed her hand through my hair.
WE SHOWERED and cleaned ourselves up. At her request, I shampooed her hair and massaged her scalp to remove all the gunk the hairdressers had used. I had to use the small bottles the hotel provided as I hadn’t thought to bring anything special with me. It was nice knowing that she’d be back to the natural Alyssa I loved again—free of hairspray and make-up—once we were out of the shower.
While she finished in the bathroom, I headed out to get dressed and frowned when I once again saw the slick of blood across the sheet.
Fuck, I must have hurt her!
I closed my eyes and sighed, hating that I’d done anything to cause her pain. Slowly, sense started to return to me. If it hadn’t been me, it would have been someone else. Someone who might not have had any regard for her well-being at all—who would have taken his pleasure and not given a shit about her needs. Even if I had hurt her, I’d given her pleasure too.
Knowing she would be embarrassed by the sight of the blood, I remade the bed to hide the small stain. When she came back out wearing one of my t-shirts and a pair of baggy boxers, we curled up underneath the blankets with matching contented smiles on our faces.
Lying together, talk turned to other things. Her fingers played with mine as we both stared at the ceiling. Neither of us seemed willing to touch on the one topic that was certain to cause an argument—my potential race contract that she seemed convinced would never come.
“How many kids do you think you’ll have?” she asked dreamily as she started to succumb to sleep.
“Fuck, Lys, please don’t talk about kids after we, you know.”
She chuckled. “After we what, Dec? Had sex?” She rolled over and rested her head on my chest. “It’s just a question.”
It wasn’t just a question though. Not for me. It was loaded with consequences and choices. How could I even think about kids until I had my career set up? Even then, there were risks in the job. Could I subject children to that? Then there was the simple fact that I just didn’t know if I wanted kids—ever. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t really want kids.”
“What? Ever?”
“Maybe one day. A long way away. After I’ve done what I want to on the track.”
She frowned at the mention of racing, before rolling onto her back. “I think I’d like two. A boy and a girl, just like Josh and me.”
With her words rolling in my mind, I tried to turn the conversation away from the unsafe topic of the future. Instead, we chatted about what we had planned for the last week of school and then our plans for Schoolies week.
As we talked, she eventually succumbed to sleep. I was too mesmerised by her and by what we’d discovered together to relax though. Thoughts of sharing those things over and over with her in our hotel room as we celebrated the end of school with our friends at Schoolies consumed me.
While she slept, she gravitated even closer to me until she was curled under my arm with her head on my chest. Then she started to talk. At first it was nonsense, about the school exams we had just finished. About her mum. Her friends. After a while, it turned serious. “I love you, Declan.”
I squeezed her a little tighter. After our argument over using the L word we used it somewhat sparingly. We’d both agreed we’d rather it mean something when we said it rather than have it become a flippant term for every greeting or parting.
“Of course, I’ll marry you.”
What the fuck?
My eyes shot to the smile that graced Alyssa’s lips. The words rang in my head together with her earlier questions, and all of the doubts I’d ever had came flooding back. It was evidence of Dad’s words. She wanted marriage. Kids. The boring suburban life that was sure to follow three years of uni.
I extricated myself from her hold and climbed out of the bed. After pacing for close to an hour with all my fears racing through my head on a never-ending loop, I spent the rest of the night sitting on the couch staring at nothing. I didn’t want that life. I didn’t want to be the small-town boy married out of school. I had fucking dreams and one thing was becoming clear.
From that point on, they couldn’t include Alyssa “small town” Dawson.
CHAPTER ELEVEN: THE END OF THE DREAM
YAWNING AS SHE walked, Alyssa headed out from the bedroom to sit with me on the couch. My shirt hung to one side, exposing the soft curve of her shoulder. Her hair was piled like a haystack on her head. She’d smoothed it into a ponytail as best as she could without a brush, but because she’d slept with it wet, the curls were out of control.
She climbed lazily onto my lap and wrapped her arms around me before planting a kiss against my throat. I put my arms around her too and pressed my cheek against the top of her head. I didn’t want to admit to the fact that I’d been up the whole night worrying about something she’d said while she slept. The smell of her had a calming effect on me. It drove thoughts of leaving from my mind. Maybe I’d just been scared. I could get past fear—I wasn’t a fucking coward. I gripped her tighter, almost afraid to let her go.
“What’s the matter, Dec?” she asked, pulling back to look at my face.
> I shrugged. I didn’t know how to voice what I felt. On the one hand, I knew she was all I ever wanted, but on the other I was terrified of being that dependent on someone. Of needing them as desperately as I needed oxygen. I couldn’t imagine being tied down at just seventeen. Or giving up my dream.
“I can’t believe we only have one more week left of school,” she said, trying to distract me from my reverie.
I nodded.
“Have you thought some more about going to uni? I really think that’s the better option in the long run.”
I shrugged.
She scrunched her eyebrows together. “Declan?”
I looked into her eyes and I was her captive. The doubts I had seemed crazy. She was it for me, I knew it. Everyone knew it.
Everything else will work itself out, right?
I leaned closer and kissed her and she quickly reciprocated. When I closed my eyes, I saw the life she’d obviously been dreaming about the night before: her in a white dress walking toward me down the aisle, a house in the suburbs, kids.
Fuck!
I was too young to have kids—I was too young to even be thinking about having kids. I pulled away from the kiss and shifted Alyssa onto the couch next to me. I stood and walked to the table, leaning against it in an attempt to catch my breath.
“What is it? You’re starting to scare me.” Alyssa walked up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. Her voice was strained and tight.
I turned toward her and unwrapped myself from her arms. “I don’t want kids.”
“What?”
“I don’t fucking want kids. I don’t want to get married. I don’t want any of that shit.”
“What are you talking about, Dec? Where is this coming from?” She grabbed for me again, pressing herself tightly against me.
“It’s what you want, isn’t it? Uni. Kids. Marriage.”
Declan Reede: The Untold Story (Complete Series) Page 10