Declan Reede: The Untold Story (Complete Series)

by Michelle Irwin

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, she looked up at me when the door opened.

  Her eyes were brimming with tears, the rich honey colour glistening as she stared at me. Her body sagged and a small smile lifted her lips as she looked at me. I could have been wrong, but it looked like a small sigh left her too. It was almost as if she were relieved to see me. Fucked if I knew why after what had happened.

  “Thank goodness,” she said.

  “Please don’t leave,” I begged at exactly the same time.

  She rushed over to me. For a moment, I thought she’d throw her arms around me, but she slowed as she came closer. The doubt and anger were still there, even if the relief had temporarily overridden it.

  “Hi.” The word was almost inaudible and I only caught it because of how closely I was paying attention to her.

  “Fuck, Lys, I thought you’d left.” I clamped my mouth shut before I could add the “me” to the sentence. “You were so mad.”

  “Am.”

  My eyes narrowed and I frowned as I struggled with my confusion over the word.

  “I’m still mad,” she said.

  I gave her the most winning grin I could muster and dared to take another step closer to her. “And I’m still sorry.”

  She sighed as she turned away. “I know. That’s why I came back here. I worried what you might do if you thought me needing space was a permanent thing.”

  Even as she said the word, I felt the tension leave my body, sinking through the floor and draining away. “It’s not?”

  She gave a soft laugh and shook her head. “No. Trust me. You’ll know if we’re off for good. I don’t want to lose you, Dec. No one else will ever be able to make me as mad as you can sometimes, but that won’t stop me loving you.”

  I stepped closer to her again, needing to look in her eyes as she spoke to me.

  Before I could reach her, she wheeled around on the spot. “But I won’t blindly accept you lying to me either.”

  “I won’t lie to you ever again,” I promised. “Not even a white one.”

  “Not even if I ask if my butt looks too big?”

  I chuckled and reached for her. “Baby, your arse is always perfect to me and that’s the God’s honest truth.”

  She melted into my arms. All of the bullshit I’d clung so tightly to, the need for revenge, the twisted desire to be right, all of it meant nothing in that moment. The tension I’d been feeling every time I thought of her move to Sydney was gone. Clearly it was my own guilt—my own subconscious—trying to force me to reconsider my plans.

  Just as I pressed my lips to hers to whisper all of that to her without words, Morgan burst into the room. For a second, I wondered how, but then I recalled that I’d left the key card in the door.

  “Oh, you found her.” It was hard not to hear the irritation in his voice.

  With a frown furrowing my brow, I turned to him. “What the fuck, dude?”

  “You didn’t think to text me to tell me you’d found her?”

  I shook my head. “Actually, no, I had slightly more important things on my mind. Is there a problem?”

  “No, it’s okay. No problem. I just spent the last fifteen minutes completely embarrassing myself by ‘accidentally’ going into every ladies’ room in this damn place to find her while you’re in here making out, but it’s okay. It’s all good.”

  I chuckled, and even Alyssa smiled in spite of her dislike for him—or maybe because of it.

  “Sorry, dude,” I said through a fresh peal of laughter. “I was too busy grovelling and demanding she take me back.”

  “It’s true,” Alyssa said, meeting my eyes. “He’s been on his knees practically begging me to take him back the whole time.”

  “Anyway, it’s almost eleven. Danny is about to make the big announcement. You need to get back in there.”

  “No.”

  “What the fuck do you mean, no?”

  I pulled Alyssa against me again. “I mean, I’m exactly where I want to be for New Year’s. After all, what you’re doing tonight is supposed to be what you do for the rest of the year, right?” I planted a small kiss against her cheek before letting her go and turning back to Morgan. “And if that’s the case, there’s definitely something I need to be doing right now.”

  Picking up what I was putting down, he smirked at me and backed out of the room, leaving the key on the floor and letting the door shut behind him. Releasing my hold on her waist, I moved to pick up the masks I’d dropped in my haste to get to her.

  “I’m looking for the girl who was in this mask. Have you seen her? I think I might have hurt her, and now I want to kiss it better.”

  “I’m not sure if I’ve seen her,” Alyssa said. “Maybe you should try the mask on every girl in the land and see who it fits.”

  I snorted. “This ain’t fucking Cinderella, and my girl won’t be going at midnight, she’ll be coming.”

  A genuine laugh left her. “You are so goddamned cheesy.”

  “If it makes you laugh like that, you can call me King Fromage.”

  “As much as I’d love to stay here all night, we probably should get back for Danny’s announcement.” She nodded at the masks in my hands. “I think one of the ribbons broke before, though.”

  “You can wear mine if you like?”

  Shaking her head as she moved, she grabbed both of the masks and threw them onto the bed. “I think we’ve had enough hidden agendas for one night. Let’s remove the mystery for now, shall we?”

  “Okay, but do you think that your mask is repairable?”

  She tilted her head in confusion as she said. “Maybe. Why?”

  “Because you cannot believe how many fantasies I’ve had of looking down at you wearing it while you suck my cock.”

  “Declan!” She flushed red and playfully swatted my shoulder. “You only saw it for the first time a few hours ago.”

  I captured her hip and pulled her side against my front. My cock was hard and aching for her, had been ever since our almost kiss. Kissing along her neck, I whispered against her skin, “Baby, you would not believe half the fantasies I’ve had about you or how quickly they can form. And I intend to make them all come true.”

  She shivered in my hold as I ran my hand over her arse and brushed my fingers as far between her thighs as I could with her dress in the way.

  “Fuck, baby, I can’t wait to apologise to you properly.” I stepped away from her. It took everything in me, but I managed it. “But if you’re really intent on getting back to the party, we should probably go, because I don’t know how much longer I can resist you.”

  “Just until midnight. Then maybe we can come back up here and I’ll see if I can fix the mask,” she breathed.

  Fuck yes!

  We made it as far as the ballroom lobby before Paige came storming out of the room. Her eyes were wild and when her gaze fell on me, she snarled at me like the cougar she was.

  “You signed with Sinclair as a goddamned grease monkey? Don’t you know what I could have offered you? You’ll burn for this. I’ll make you pay.”

  Rather than stopping to talk, I smiled and pressed my hand against the small of Alyssa’s back to encourage her to keep moving. “It’s been an insightful evening, hasn’t it, Ms. Wood?”

  Before she could respond, I led Alyssa into the ballroom. Danny was standing up at the podium still, talking about the year ahead for Sinclair.

  “Aren’t you worried about what she might do?” Alyssa whispered.

  “No. I don’t think her daughter will be her willing lapdog anymore. Not with the evidence I have against them.”

  “And here’s the man of the hour,” Danny said, lifting his hands to point to me when he noticed I’d arrived. “And his beautiful bride-to-be.”

  Alyssa flushed and I could almost see her itching to rush upstairs and fix the mask sooner so that she could cover her face.

  Moving as one, we circled the room until we arrived at Sinclair Racing’s table. Across the
room, Blake and Darcy Cooper were in the middle of a heavy make-out session. I only hoped her embarrassment would lead to some changes there. I doubted it, but at least it wouldn’t affect my life anymore.

  “We’re very happy that Declan will be joining us during his break from racing. And for those of you disappointed that he won’t be on the track next year, all I can say is you never know what might happen, and I firmly believe he will be racing again when the time is right.”

  Alyssa squeezed my hand, and my stomach flip-flopped at his words. Every other time he’d hinted at a possible comeback, it’d always been coded and hidden. It wasn’t an announcement that I’d be back in the driver seat any time soon, but it was also a very clear message for anyone in the room—including race journalists and representatives from major sponsors not only for Sinclair but for ProV8 in general—that I had his support when the time was right.

  I just had to wonder when the fuck that might be.

  One thing was certain, whatever came next, I was going to deal with it with my girls at my side.

  DECLAN’S STORY CONCLUDES IN DECLARE

  DECLARE

  DECLAN REEDE: THE UNTOLD STORY

  (BOOK 4)

  CONTENTS:

  CHAPTER ONE: MOVING ON

  CHAPTER TWO: MINI MOMENTS

  CHAPTER THREE: HOME

  CHAPTER FOUR: THREE’S A PARTY

  CHAPTER FIVE: WHAT’S IN A DATE?

  CHAPTER SIX: EVERYTHING

  CHAPTER SEVEN: YAS, DEAR

  CHAPTER EIGHT: PREDICTABLE PATH

  CHAPTER NINE: PRACTISE RUN

  CHAPTER TEN: GOOD VIBRATIONS

  CHAPTER ELEVEN: RIPPLE EFFECT

  CHAPTER TWELVE: LONG WEEKEND

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN: EMERGENCY DASH

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN: THREE-DAY BREAK

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN: BUNNY DAY

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN: FAMILIAR FEELING

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: UNEXPECTED

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: LIFE’S A PARTY

  CHAPTER NINETEEN: WORK ON IT

  CHAPTER TWENTY: SHE RIDES

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: THE PITS

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: RECKLESS

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: WAITING

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: IT IS YOU

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: PROS AND CONS

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: NAUGHTY NASTY BOY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: FIRST NIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: EXPECTING

  CHAPTER THIRTY: HONEYMOON

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: JUST MANAGING

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: RACING LINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: QUALIFIED

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR: FAITH

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: RACE YOU

  EPILOGUE: SWEET VICTORY

  CHAPTER ONE: MOVING ON

  I PULLED MY car into the cemetery car park and cut off the engine.

  With it off, the silence in the car was stifling. I didn’t even need to look at Alyssa to know that her expression would probably match my own.

  Sombre.

  Today was the day. The day Alyssa and I would move forward with the rest of our life. First though, we had to look to the past.

  “Are you ready?” I asked, grasping her hand to ground myself and show her that I was there for her. Neither of us desired to be the first from the car. Even though the keen agony of regret sliced through me, Alyssa’s pain was greater than mine. She’d suffered through the heartbreak firsthand, and I’d only learned of it years later, when it was too late to mourn with her.

  Alyssa turned to me, her honey-gold eyes filled with tears, and shook her head. She ran her free hand through the fringe of her mahogany hair. “I don’t even know how to do this, Dec. I—I already said goodbye to him once, I don’t know how to do it again.”

  How could we say goodbye knowing it could be months, maybe even as long as a year, before we could come back to visit again?

  I held her hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze, trying to offer her some strength even though I had none left to give. Part of me wondered whether it was harder for her having me there. Whether my presence was a sharp reminder of the fact that I wasn’t there when she’d needed me.

  Eventually, with a small sigh that echoed her heartbreak, Alyssa turned to me and nodded once.

  I climbed from the car. By the time I’d reached the front, she still hadn’t moved.

  Realising she needed a figurative push, I opened her door and offered her my hand to help her out of the high vehicle. She practically fell into my arms, so I wrapped them around her as fast as I could. I wondered whether her mind was solely on the cemetery in front of us, or whether part of it was still thinking back over the events of the night before. In the harsh light of day, facing our last visit to our son, I thought back to how stupid I’d been. I’d risked losing Alyssa, risked my happiness and the happiness of my family, for what? Revenge? I was such a fucking tool.

  After a moment, Alyssa pulled away from my hold and reached for my hand. The sun beamed brightly in the sky as we weaved our way through the plots to the back, to my family plot and the little angel we sought. Halfway through the cemetery, Alyssa and I dropped each other’s hands. Maybe it was because this goodbye was one we had to face alone, or maybe neither of us had anything left to give.

  My feet were on autopilot, remembering the way from my last visit such a short time ago. As it had then, the first thing that captured my eye was the cold white marble cherub. He sat with his head buried in his hands while his white wings extended out from his shoulders. My gaze fell to the horses on the tombstone, the symbol of Castor and Pollux.

  Of Gemini.

  Of the Twins.

  I could almost feel the horses tattooed onto my back come alive, as if granted some magical power from the proximity to their inspiration. I didn’t need to read the inscription on the stone; it had been burned onto my heart the first time I’d seen the grave.

  A name: Emmanuel Pollux Reede Dawson.

  Two dates: 11th June and 14th June.

  And an epitaph: An angel opened the book of life and wrote down my baby’s birth. Then she whispered as she closed the book, “Too beautiful for earth.”

  As if she was reciting them again, Alyssa’s words when she’d first told me the story of Castor and Pollux came to mind. Then something she’d admitted to me later—that Emmanuel had been a replica of me. I wondered whether he’d have grown to have my turquoise eyes, like Phoebe, or if they would have darkened to Alyssa’s honey-gold. Would his hair have been the same auburn as mine, or the richer brown of his mother?

  I sensed rather than felt Alyssa by my side. The distance between us was gaping, but I wasn’t ready to attempt to bridge it yet. Neither of us were, it seemed. We both needed time alone to process, to think. It occurred to me that at least this visit wouldn’t be like my last.

  Then, I’d felt nothing but desolation and destruction, tearing at me from inside and with no way to return from the agony. Just like then, an apology was seared across my soul and an agony keener than any other in my life twisted through my body. This time, though, I had something I didn’t have before. Hope and love tangled with the pain, protecting me from the worst sting of the barbs.

  Alyssa’s hand curled against mine. She clutched me so tightly her knuckles turned white. I traced my thumb along the back of her hand in response. She took a deep breath and swallowed around the lump in her throat. When I glanced at her, I could see her lips moving. She was talking silently to our son. When I saw her mouth form the word, “Daddy,” I closed my eyes as my tears pooled in them.

  We stood hand in hand for at least an hour before the wind shifted and it grew cold. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, but neither of us was willing to move. It was as if there was a cosmic signal we were waiting for, something to tell us the time was right to say goodbye, even though we knew it would never be the right time.

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” I whispered. Even
I wasn’t sure whether the words were intended for Alyssa or Emmanuel. Possibly they were meant for both of them.

  Alyssa nodded as fresh tears slipped down her cheeks. She stepped forward out of my grasp and dropped to her knees in front of the cherub. Reaching out her hand, she placed something against the marble base. I hadn’t even realised she’d brought anything with her.

  Once she’d left her gift, she stood and slipped her hand over one of the cherub’s hands, cupping his face. Then, without another word, she walked back to my side. I couldn’t see past her to see what she had left, but even if I could have, I didn’t want to look. I didn’t want to invade the moment she’d shared as she said goodbye. She turned when she reached me, grabbing my hand and wordlessly leading me from the graveside.

  I followed her, allowing her to guide me away, because I wasn’t sure my feet would trail the path away from our son without her help. I resisted glancing backward for as long as I could, but finally, I couldn’t help myself. I flicked my head around and saw a small toy car resting in front of the little angel. I almost choked at the image of Sinclair Racing’s colours. It was a promotional item from last year—a die-cast model of my car.

  “I wanted to leave something of each of us with him, so he knew we weren’t abandoning him,” Alyssa said softly when I turned back toward her.

  I nodded, embarrassed that she’d caught me looking. I wondered what she had left of herself, and of Phoebe, but couldn’t ask. What I had seen was already an intrusion of what I was certain was supposed to be a private goodbye.

  We remained silent as we headed back to the car. For me, I was partly lost back at Emmanuel’s grave and partly preparing myself for the journey ahead.

  “Do you think we should have brought Phoebe?” I asked as I opened the car door. It hadn’t occurred to me to ask until that moment. As far as I knew, she was still working on the assumption that we would be able to take Emmanuel with us somehow.

  Alyssa shook her head. “I needed that. Mum brought her down yesterday and told her what was happening.”