Life was all about the small victories.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: JUST MANAGING
IT HADN’T TAKEN long for the enormity of what I’d asked of Danny to hit me. We’d had another meeting just as everyone else was leaving for the afternoon to discuss it further. Having assumed halfway through the day that I’d actually completely misread the situation, I’d expected him to rubbish my plan outright.
But not once did he tell me not to do it.
Of course, he hadn’t offered me his outright support either, but I wasn’t exactly expecting that, especially when I was effectively talking about leaving Sinclair Racing.
Instead, what he had offered me was a glimmer of hope. He’d sat me down and told me all the negatives of my plan. In doing so, he’d outlined, in detail, everything I needed to achieve in order to pull it off.
Almost as soon as the meeting started, under the pretence of him explaining why it couldn’t work, I could see what he was doing—giving me a plan of attack.
Once I’d realised where he was going with it all, I pushed aside the part of me that wanted to tell him to shove it up his arse. I bit my tongue and grabbed a pen and notepad from his desk. While I quickly scribbled notes about all of the work that would be involved to pull it off, he waited patiently then filtered a little more information my way.
I wanted desperately to ask him a few questions and demand some straight answers, but I knew I wouldn’t get any—at least not yet. I was going to have to try to read between the lines of what he’d told me for a while. His hands were clearly tied by something—either sponsorship contracts or something else.
My first port of call, after getting Danny’s implicit approval, was to see Alyssa. I hoped she would be able to help me somewhat. At the very least, I would rely heavily on her support to get through the difficult times and shitload of work ahead of me. She wouldn’t be able to help out too much with the actual legal side of it—like drawing up the contract that I would need—but she could offer her support.
Danny had explained it all to me in our meeting. Apparently, because she worked for Pembletons, the firm that would represent him in the negotiations, she had a conflict of interest and wouldn’t be able to help me. I didn’t really completely understand what he was talking about, but I hoped that Alyssa would be able to at least point me in the right direction and straighten out some of the confusion I felt over the whole thing. If nothing else, just knowing she was in my corner would do me the world of good.
My mind was in overdrive the whole way home, running through my meeting with Danny and the rest of my day again and again. I kept coming back to the photos. Looking back on it now, I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t even thought to tell Alyssa about the incident.
It wasn’t that I’d withheld the information deliberately; it had been nothing more than an oversight because my entire birthday weekend had been such a shit-fest that the girl Hunter had all but thrown onto my lap had ended up as nothing more than a blip on my radar.
I had to fess up to Alyssa now though, just in case Hunter pushed the envelope even further and tried to send them to her. Not that I thought she’d put any more stock in the situation than Danny had. One thing was absolutely certain; the photos that had arrived on Danny’s desk had come from Hunter. I knew it, and thankfully Danny seemed to know it too.
Obviously, Hunter didn’t want me in his car for the upcoming enduros. I actually understood that completely, because I didn’t want to race with him either. In fact, I would do anything to avoid the possibility. And shoving two drivers who didn’t trust each other into a car was a recipe for disaster.
I wasn’t at all surprised he would stoop so low, but I did have to chuckle to myself at the thought of how stupid Hunter had been, showing his hand so early. He’d also clearly demonstrated the key difference between us; if it was honestly in the best interest of the team—and had been my one and only chance to get back in a ProV8 more permanently—I would’ve sucked that shit up and raced with him. I would’ve even tried to win, despite the fact that he’d end up on the podium too.
Despite spending the journey home with my head spinning in circles, I was so psyched by the idea I’d had that I was practically leaping out of my skin by the time I arrived. I raced in the front door, intercepting Phoebe as she ran to greet me. I picked her up and spun her around until she squealed excitedly.
“Daddy’s got some good news!” I exclaimed, kissing her on the top of the head before I placed her back on the floor.
“What is it?” she asked. Her eyes were wide and full of excitement.
“I’ll tell you as soon as we find Mummy.”
Phoebe grinned and raced off, leaving me to follow her. I found both of my girls in the kitchen. Alyssa was just pulling out the start of dinner. She welcomed me with a quick kiss and asked me to help her by finding a few items she needed to finish off our meal.
I complied immediately, placing them on the bench before turning to Alyssa and loosely grabbing her hands, bringing them to rest on my chest. My index finger toyed with her wedding band and engagement ring absently as I smirked at her. I couldn’t wait to tell her my news, and I knew the perfect way to do it. Phoebe was practically jumping up and down with excitement.
“What is it?” Alyssa asked in response to both my stance and Phoebe’s anticipation.
“I’m going to race a ProV8 again.” I grinned.
Phoebe started squealing. She was so loud that I barely heard Alyssa’s next statement.
“Even with Morgan . . .” Alyssa trailed off.
I knew she’d never be able to finish the sentence. Since our return to Sydney after Townsville, things had become much warmer between the two of them. She felt that she owed him for the thing with Hunter, especially when it had cost him so much. No matter how much Eden, Morgan, and I tried to convince her otherwise, she blamed herself for the accident that cost Morgan the championship and a good portion of the race year.
I nodded excitedly. “Yeah.”
“But how?” she asked, looking at me warily. “Not in his car?”
She hated the thought of me racing with Hunter even more than I hated the idea. At least I was willing to consider it if I absolutely had to. Which I might not now.
I grinned even wider as I shook my head. “Nope.”
“Then how?”
“I’m going to be a privateer.”
“Huh?”
“I’m going to run my own car.”
Alyssa stood blinking at me for a few moments. “But you don’t have a car.”
“I can rent one for the weekend. And a licence too.”
Alyssa stood agape for a moment more before asking, “How much is that going to cost?”
“A lot,” I admitted. “But I have a plan.”
“Oh, you have a plan, do you?” Despite the scepticism in her voice, I could see excitement dancing just behind the incredulity in her eyes. I’d relied on her support to take things further, and the glimmer of enthusiasm I saw in her fuelled my own exhilaration to dizzying new heights.
I stepped forward and whispered into her neck. “Yes, and it involves spending some quality time with each other after Phoebe’s in bed tonight.”
She chuckled. “You know I’m almost always up for some quality time, but I don’t see how that will help you get back in a car.”
“Ha ha.” I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to my other girl, the one who wouldn’t mock me. “Are you excited that Daddy’s going to be back in a ProV8 again, baby?”
Phoebe nodded enthusiastically. “Can I go in one too?”
I turned to see that Alyssa wasn’t looking or listening.
I winked at her. “We’ll see what we can do.”
“THAT’S A big to-do list,” Alyssa breathed as I finished my explanation.
“I know. I’ve got no idea how I’m going to manage it all. I do know I won’t be able to get it all done before Phillip Island. So I’m not trying to. Instead, I’m aiming for . . . “
&nb
sp; “Bathurst,” Alyssa finished for me.
I grinned. I shouldn’t have been surprised that Alyssa knew the race calendar so well, especially when it came to that race; the anniversary of the crash that had inadvertently led me back to her. I could only imagine the significance of the date in her mind considering how much it meant to me.
“The hardest thing is going to be finding the time to make the calls I need to make,” I admitted. “Although in theory Danny is giving me his support, he can’t be seen as assisting me. I definitely can’t do it at work.”
Alyssa bit her lip. “I may be able to help you out there.”
I raised my eyebrow at her. Ever since we’d returned from our holiday, Alyssa had been having issues at work. Truthfully, I think she’d been having issues long before then, but hadn’t wanted to admit it.
“And just how would you do that?” I asked.
“I need to take some time off work,” she started. Her voice was calm and in control. “I . . .” She sighed heavily and something snapped within her. “I just . . . I can’t do it,” she sobbed. “I can’t be there. I can’t stand the guilt they give me every day when I have to leave to pick up Phoebe. It’s just not fair. I’ve never been made to feel so worthless.”
I gathered her up into my arms instantly.
“Shh, Alyssa,” I murmured, trying to quell her sobs. I realised she had been holding back so much more than I’d ever imagined, and felt like an arse for not seeing it sooner. For not pushing her a little more. “Tell me about it.”
She nuzzled deeper into me. “It’s Carmen, she and her daddy have been out for me since we were paired up. If she wasn’t so incompetent, I’d swear she was trying to make me look bad. Sometimes I think Mr. Kent is the only one on my side.”
“Of-fucking-course!” I exclaimed, slapping myself on the forehead for my stupidity. “Kent!”
Alyssa pulled away and gave me a funny look. Probably because she’d poured her heart out and I’d completely changed the subject.
“Sorry, it’s just, well, Andrew Kent’s son is Dane.”
Alyssa’s look turned to one of confusion.
“Dane Kent,” I said, wondering what she didn’t understand. “Former ProV8 driver, Dane Kent.”
“So?” She sniffed, her tears completely dried up after the sudden shift in the conversation.
“He retired just before I started driving. He was the driver I replaced at Sinclair.”
“And?”
I grinned. “Don’t you see? He’s retired, but he’s still in shape. Still able to drive.” I paused for a moment, but I realised she wasn’t going to see the connection I’d seen in my mind in an instant. “He could be the second driver in my car. That’s the biggest piece of the puzzle I’ve been worrying about.”
A smile lit Alyssa’s features. It was stunning to watch as her joy started in her eyes and spread rapidly outward across her face.
“Of course,” she murmured. “Do you think he would though?”
“I have no idea!” I stood and chuckled a little, feeling a bit like a mad man, but I was too excited about the new plan to care. My sudden realisation made so many things fall into place. It was perfect. “But just think about it if he did. Two ex-Sinclair Racing drivers in the one car staging a stunning comeback together.”
“The press would have a field day.” She grinned.
“Exactly! Imagine the publicity.”
“The sponsors!”
“Fuck, baby,” I murmured. Seeing her so excited about me getting back in the car was doing things to me. I swooped back onto the bed, pushing her onto her back as I did. I captured her mouth with mine and kissed her hard. “You and me, we’re going to make this work.”
Her response was a moan as my erection rubbed against her thigh.
IN THE harsh light of morning, the list seemed so much bigger than it had the day before. The task ahead of me would have been monumental even without having to front up at Sinclair Racing every day for work.
I still had my job in the pits to train for, even though I’d officially been moved from Hunter’s pit crew because of our “differences”. My boys had all requested the same change so there was a shake-up of the teams, but that didn’t mean we weren’t required to be at the top of our game. The official word on Morgan was that we were waiting on clearance, but everyone on the team knew the truth; he was definitely out for the season.
While Alyssa negotiated with Phoebe to get her to eat her Weet-Bix, and I packed up everyone’s lunch, I suggested to Alyssa that maybe it was time to move on rather than just take time off. I hated the thought of her being unhappy at work. I questioned whether she should hand in her notice and find something else. She looked at me like I’d grown an extra head.
“All I’m saying is that you don’t need that fu—stinking job if they can’t treat you with respect.”
She smiled sadly at me. “But we still have a mortgage to pay, and we still have Phoebe’s day care costs.”
I crossed my arms. “I don’t care.”
“But—”
I pressed my finger to her lips to silence her. “We’ll manage.”
I was quoting the very words she’d used to comfort me after she’d first moved to Sydney what felt like a lifetime ago, but they were as true now as they had been then. As long as the three of us had each other, we had everything we would need.
Since then, we’d saved up a little, even with the cost of the wedding. The small extra allowance I received driving the Mini, plus the few bonuses from my wins, added up to a decent little fall-back plan. It wasn’t much, and it wouldn’t last forever, but it was enough that we could make it work for a while.
She opened her mouth to argue.
“Daddy, can I have apples for school?” Phoebe asked, with her mouth full of mushed Weet-Bix.
“Of course, baby,” I answered, turning to throw one into her lunch pack. I glanced back at Alyssa before she could resume her argument. “You have to admit that the bonuses from racing the Mini have helped us get in front. Besides, I’m not pissing away my salary like I used to.”
She looked thoughtful for a second.
“And,” I continued while I was on my winning streak, “I’ve still got my cars and a few stocks left that we can sell if we get desperate.” I winced as I mentioned selling my babies; we’d managed to avoid losing any so far, but I would willingly sacrifice anything for her happiness.
“And what would I do? Any other law firm would be just as bad. It’s the nature of the career.”
I shrugged. “Don’t work for a law firm then.”
“I’m not going to go back to working in a shop.”
“I’m not asking you to.” I already had an idea forming in my head, but I wasn’t sure exactly how she would respond to it.
She sighed. “I worked so hard to get to where I am. To get my degree and be able to use it. I don’t want to throw it all away now.”
“Then don’t.” I smirked.
“What are you thinking?”
A splooshing sound told us that Phoebe had taken advantage of our distraction to pour herself a glass of milk; unfortunately, it went all over the floor instead of into the cup.
“Here, let me get that,” Alyssa said, grabbing the paper towels from the bench. She poured some of the remaining milk into the cup and began to soak up the mess.
“I have an idea,” I said.
Alyssa shook her head slightly. “And that would be?”
“Work for me.”
“What?”
“I’ve never had a manager. Now that I’m on the cusp of a new career as a privateer, I really think I should have one.”
“I wouldn’t have the first clue about how to be a manager.”
“I’m sure it’s not hard.”
She laughed. “Tell that to all the stressed managers out there.”
“What I mean is, the job is all about putting the client’s career first and advancing their opportunities. I know you’ll have my best int
erests at heart, so you just need to do whatever needs to be done.”
“Like what?”
“Like talking with the sponsors and negotiating contracts for this privateer gig.”
She looked thoughtful for a moment until the piece of paper towel in her hands grew wet and attracted her attention anew.
“Besides, managers get a cut of their talent’s salary.”
She laughed. “And in this scenario you’d be the talent?”
“Of course!”
She stood up and met my eye. “You really think I could do it?”
“Why not?” I asked. “You’ve got the law degree behind you, so I know you’ll be able to read the contracts for me. You’re a naturally warm and giving person, and I’m sure the sponsors will respond to that.”
“And the fact that it would mean you’re able to palm a significant chunk of your to-do list onto me?” She raised her eyebrow.
I chuckled. “Well, that’s just an added bonus.”
She looked thoughtful. “I don’t know, Dec.”
“Give me one reason why not.”
She bit her lip. “I just don’t know if I want everything in my whole life to revolve around your career.”
I tried to cover how much her words stung, but I couldn’t.
She reached out and stroked my face lovingly, reassuring me silently. “What I mean is that I’m so deliriously happy with the way we are at the moment that I wouldn’t want to ruin it by working together.”
“It won’t ruin anything,” I argued. “If anything, it’ll make it better, because you’ll be less stressed.”
She regarded me thoughtfully. “What if . . . something happened to you?” She looked at Phoebe, indicating she didn’t want to say anything that would worry her, but I realised she was talking about something as in an accident.
I thought about it for a minute. If Alyssa fashioned her career around mine, and then I couldn’t drive . . .
The fact that we’d be down from two incomes to none would devastate our finances, but I was certain we’d manage. Somehow.
“Well, maybe you can use me as a test case?” I suggested. “If it works and you like it, then you can try to get a couple of other drivers on board, maybe?”
Declan Reede: The Untold Story (Complete Series) Page 131