by Tina Beckett
He’d almost forgotten. There’d evidently been a time when she couldn’t express herself without fear of recriminations. But over something as simple as nail polish? “Did he control that too?”
“No, not really. But there were times he’d ridicule my decisions if they didn’t fit in with who he thought I should be.”
“And who did he think you should be?”
“I was never quite sure. Maybe the perfect little wife. But I was the wrong person to choose, then, because I’m so far from perfect that it’s not even funny.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t think you’re that far off the mark.”
He hadn’t meant to say that. As her eyes came up and met his, he saw a flurry of emotions go by in quick succession. Then she smiled. “You obviously don’t know me very well if you can say that. And I remember when you were worried that I couldn’t keep up with the surgical department.”
“Like you said, I obviously didn’t know you back then. Because you keep up just fine.”
“You didn’t know me back then, but you do now?”
A strange expectancy hung in the air between them, and he wasn’t sure what she wanted him to say. Or if she wanted him to say anything at all.
He was torn. He did feel like he’d gotten to know her over the last weeks. And that was part of the problem. Part of what made him keep circling back toward her, even when he wanted nothing more than to fly far away.
“I think maybe I’m coming to.”
“I think maybe I’m coming to know you too. You’re not quite the ogre I thought you were in the beginning.”
His brows went up. “You thought I was an ogre?”
“Well...maybe ogre is too strong a word. But I was a little intimidated by you.”
In the same way her husband had intimidated her? He didn’t like that. He propped his arm on the back of the couch. “I don’t normally have that effect on people. At least I hope I don’t.”
Even when he’d been at his worst, Janice hadn’t been afraid of him.
“It was me. You’ve been great, and I appreciate it.” She leaned a little closer and the heat from her body slid in and made his muscles loosen and then slowly tighten again.
He thought for a minute she might lay her head on his shoulder. He swallowed, suddenly wanting her to do exactly that. He wanted her pressed tight against him like she’d been at her parents’ house. Only this time there’d be no one to see them.
Maybe that was his cue to leave.
Except she chose that very moment to tip her head back and look into his eyes. What he saw there made him stay exactly where he was, his breath stalling in his lungs long enough to make him feel woozy. Then it pumped in a full load of oxygen, sending it throughout his body in a rush of endorphins that made him want to do the unthinkable.
Time to break the spell. “Tell me it’s time to go.”
The fingers behind her on the sofa went to her shoulder and cupped it.
“Do you want to go?”
That was a loaded question if ever he’d heard one. He tipped his beer from side to side. “My bottle’s empty.”
She licked her lips. “So is my glass. Do you want another one?”
“No. I don’t.”
“Then what do you want?”
That was a tricky question, because what he wanted didn’t come in a bottle. Or a glass. He should repeat that he wanted to leave, but somehow he couldn’t force the words out.
He touched a finger to the polish on one of her toes. “I want to be like this nail polish.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I want to be wild and crazy. Just because I can. Isn’t that what you said?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “It is.”
“So if I did something wild and crazy...what would you do?”
“It depends what it is.”
His brain told him to stop right here, even as something else told him to keep on going. “‘It’ would be kissing you.”
She gave him a slow smile. “Then I might have to do something a little wild and crazy too. Like kiss you back.”
“Honey, that is what I was hoping you’d say.”
And with that, he did something he’d been wanting to do ever since that day in his office. And again on her parents’ sofa. He drew her close and planted his mouth on hers.
CHAPTER SEVEN
SHE’D THOUGHT THEIR first kiss had been out of this world?
Well, nothing could have prepared her for the sudden overload of sensations—the heady extravagance—of finding his lips on hers again. Why had she ever thought avoiding this was the smart thing to do?
Even as he drew her closer, her arms snaked around his neck and she gave herself fully to the kiss. It was what she wanted. What she needed. And just like her nail polish it was wild and crazy and just for her. She deserved a night of wanton sex. Sex that was offered with open arms and freely accepted.
She moaned when his tongue slid inside her mouth, the sweet friction sending goosebumps dancing across her body. A body that could rapidly grow used to his touch. His tongue eased back, and she was suddenly afraid he was going to take that away from her. Her hand went to the back of his head as if to hold him there. He surged forward again, and the burst of pleasure it brought was almost too much to bear.
Zeke was all she wanted right now.
Her fingers twined in the hair at his nape, and what she’d thought of as slightly long before became the perfect length. She tightened her fingers and felt him smile against her mouth.
When he pulled back, her eyes opened in a rush, afraid he was going to leave after all.
Instead, his thumb rubbed across her lower lip, the lip that was now hyper-sensitized to his touch. “Are you wild and crazy enough to let me stay? Just for tonight?”
“Yes.”
He scooped her up in his arms and stood, his mouth descending for another swift kiss before saying, “Where?”
“I don’t care. You choose.”
“I would say right here, but I want complete privacy. I don’t want some small visitor wandering in.”
He was right. She didn’t want that either. “My bedroom is the last door on the left.”
That was all he needed evidently. He strode down the hallway, his steps light but sure, quick but not rushed. Was that what his lovemaking would be like?
She gulped. She wasn’t sure she could wait.
And then they were inside. He pushed the door shut with his foot and turned them to face it. “Lock it, Lind.”
She did, although her fingers trembled slightly as she turned the latch.
He walked to the bed and dropped her on it without warning. She bounced a time or two, making her laugh. The laughter died when he leaned over her, hands landing on either side of her on the bed.
God.
A quick flash of muscle memory made her freeze, before her heart and mind set her straight.
She wasn’t trapped. If she asked him to stand up, he would. She blinked, and Zeke’s face was all she saw. He was sexy, strong and so very intense. But he was also kind and gentle. He’d asked permission every step of the way, had taken nothing for granted.
He was what she needed. What she wanted.
Her bare feet went to the backs of his knees, the fabric from his khaki slacks smooth and cool against her soles. Then his arms folded until he was down on his elbows, and he kissed her again, making all those heady sensations from the living room come roaring back to life. But only for a second, then he was up and off her again.
When she started to protest he held up a finger and then reached down to haul his shirt over his head.
The man was taut and tanned and altogether too gorgeous for his own good, and she had no idea why he’d decided she was the one he wanted to spend the night with, but she was damned glad
he had.
She sat up, not wanting this to be one-sided. She wanted tonight to be about give-and-take. She unbuttoned the first two buttons of her blouse then fumbled with the third for half a second, before he came to the rescue, slowly undoing one after the other, then tugging the bottom of it out of her skirt. He peeled it off her torso, and then he swallowed with a jerky movement of his Adam’s apple. “You’re beautiful, Lind. So very beautiful.”
The sudden prick of tears behind her eyes was altogether unexpected.
He leaned down with a frown, one of his thumbs brushing at an area of moisture and carrying it away. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I promise.” She reached up and cupped his face, breathing in his scent and letting it sift down to the part of her brain where her long-term memories were stored. She dropped it there, never wanting to forget tonight. Then she shrugged out of her shirt and threw it toward the footboard. “Take me to bed, Zeke.”
It was kind of a ridiculous statement since they were already in bed, but she trusted him to know what she meant.
He did, because his fingers went to his belt and pulled the tab through the buckle, the metal clink of the tongue making her shiver with anticipation. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and drew out protection, tossing it onto the bed beside her.
She hadn’t had to ask. He’d just taken care of the obvious.
God. She needed to tread with care, because it wouldn’t take much for her to fall for this man. And that’s the last thing she needed in her life right now, just when she was starting to find herself. But for tonight she could soak in his presence and luxuriate in what he was going to do for her. Without guilt. Without recriminations.
Then he was shedding his trousers, kicking them away from him and standing there in snug black briefs that did nothing to hide what she was making him feel. What he was making her feel.
Her hands went to his lean hips, letting herself explore the skin above his waistband, a ripple of muscles under her touch making her smile. “Tickle?”
“Mmm, yes, but in the best kind of way.” His voice was low with a hint of gravel that made her mouth water. She did that to him. And she wanted it all. Wanted to explore and taste and take everything he had to offer.
She tunneled her fingers beneath the elastic waistband and around to his butt, giving it a squeeze. A low groan from him told her he liked what she was doing.
Pushing the undergarment down, easing it over the tense flesh and letting it spring free, she couldn’t help but stare. She was drunk. But it wasn’t from the wine she’d had. Zeke intoxicated her, made her feel wild and free.
Her hands went back to his hips and then she leaned forward, her mouth sliding over him in a rush, his quick epithet following soon after. But it did nothing to stop her. Instead, it drove her forward, wanting to please him in a way that went to the very heart of who she was. And yet there was a hint of greed, wanting to make him need her in a way he’d never needed anyone else.
“Lindy...” Her name was groaned in a long stream that made her heart leap in her chest.
She leaned back and licked her lips with a slow smile.
Then he was pushing her backward, undoing her slacks and tugging them off in a quick motion that left no doubt as to what his intentions were. Her bra and lacy briefs followed in quick succession until he was leaning over her, kissing her mouth then letting his lips trail down the side of her jaw, nipping at her ear, suckling at her throat and then finally reaching one of her nipples and pulling hard. She arched off the bed, a storm tearing across her nerve endings as every part of her vied for his attention all at once. It was incredible. And she was quickly moving toward the point of no return. And when that happened, she wanted him inside her.
“Zeke.” She breathed his name, her hand patting the area near her hip where he’d dropped the condom. He beat her to it, ripping open the packaging and rolling it down his length in one smooth movement. Seeing his hand on himself was heady and if they’d had the time she would have tried to explore that avenue a little bit more, but for now...
He parted her knees then reached beneath her hips to drag her toward the end of the bed. He lifted her toward him but then hovered there as if thinking.
She didn’t want him thinking. She wanted him doing. Wrapping her legs around his ass, she let him know in no uncertain terms what she wanted. What she expected from him.
And then he was there, thrusting inside her with a quick move that took her breath away. He lowered her hips, following her down, and took her mouth even as he started to move. Her eyes fluttered closed, reveling in each and every sensation as it washed over her. He hadn’t fully touched her, and yet she knew he wasn’t going to need to. The friction of their bodies coming together was all the stimulation she needed as she pushed up, begging for more of the same.
When he changed the angle slightly, she gasped, eyes flicking back open to find him staring down at her. “Oh, God, Zeke, I’ve never...”
The heat in his gaze burned her alive. “Say my name again.” He pushed hard inside her. “Say it.”
“Zeke. Zeke... Zeke...”
He quickened his pace as she continued to whisper his name, hitting something with each thrust that made her nerve-endings burst into flame. Suddenly she was consumed in a rush that sent his name screaming from her lips, her body contracting around his. And then he was driving into her at a pace that seemed impossible before straining hard, every muscle in his face tense. Then he collapsed on top of her, his body rocking hers as tiny explosions continued to burst inside her.
Then it was over. His cheek slid against hers, and he rolled over, taking her with him. He kissed her. “What just happened here?”
The question took her aback, before she realized he wasn’t really looking for an answer. He was just voicing the exact thing that she’d just thought.
And it was a good thing. Because she had no response to give him.
But the question repeated in her head. What just happened here?
And like his name during the height of passion, the question started getting louder and louder, until it was all she could hear.
She had to go to work and face this man the day after tomorrow, and she suddenly wasn’t sure she could. Not without him seeing the truth on her face. She’d meant this to be a one-time thing. A way to get him out of her head and off her mind. That plan had backfired, because right now he was all she could think about. Her new normal no longer felt so normal. She was jittery and unsure and starting to wonder if this had been such a good idea after all. She had no idea how to explain any of it to herself, much less to him.
“About Monday...” She couldn’t find a single word that would get her meaning across. Especially not when she was lying on top of him, still enjoying the feeling of being connected to him.
He frowned. “What about it?”
And she heard it. A wariness in his voice that matched her thoughts and had her up and off him in an instant. He made no effort to get up and cover himself, but she sure as hell did, going into her bathroom and sliding into her robe.
When she went back into the bedroom he was sitting up, his hair sticking up in odd directions that gave him a boyish appearance that stopped at his eyes. They were old and weary, and held a resignation she’d never seen in him before.
Before she could try to assuage his fears and assure him that she didn’t want things to change between them at work, he said, “I know this wasn’t planned, on either of our parts, but it happened. As much as I enjoyed it, it can’t change what happens in the operating room. Because if it does...if it interferes with our patients...” He took a long careful breath. “Then I don’t want you there anymore.”
He didn’t want her there? Doing surgery with him? Or at the hospital itself.
“I’m not sure I understand.”
He reached for her hand, catc
hing it before she could pull away. “People put their lives in our hands. They trust us to have our minds fully on what needs to be done. If this changes that for either of us then we can’t work together anymore.”
A slice of pain went through her. Where she had just been going to say that she wanted things to be business as usual, he was saying he might not want to be associated with her at all now.
“Do...” Her voice caught, and she had to stop. Then fear was replaced with a bubble of anger. She had been about to ask him if he wanted her to quit, but that was something the old Lindy would have done when backed into a corner. The new Lindy had to grow a backbone or she would regret it. She changed the question to a statement. “I’m not quitting, if that’s what you mean.”
He stared at her for a second. “Hell, no. Where did you get that idea?”
“I just thought... You said we might not be able to work together anymore.”
“I wasn’t talking about the hospital in general.” He dragged a hand through his hair and then got up. “Hold that thought for a minute.”
He went into the bathroom with his briefs and when he re-emerged he was wearing them. “I don’t know where you came up with that idea, but I would never ask you to quit. I just don’t want what happened tonight to affect our patients. I feel I can put this into a compartment and keep it there during surgery. I hope you can too.”
“Absolutely.” He’d actually said what she’d been thinking much better than she could have. Relief washed over her. “It’s not something that will happen again, so I vote that we just put it behind us.”
“I concur.” He looked a whole lot surer than she felt, but if he could adopt that certainty, she could too.
She really should thank him. It was much better to have had her first post-marriage sexual experience with someone that she instinctively trusted. Someone like Zeke.
Just thinking his name made her shiver. It had been exciting to know he liked hearing his name on her lips. And she liked hearing him call her Lind. Not many people called her that. Certainly never Luke, who’d never ever used a pet name for her. She’d liked it a little too much, and she needed to be careful not to infer anything from it.