by A. m Madden
Sure, the man was beautiful, but combined with his personality he could no doubt break hearts without intending to. A twinge of fear pinched my subconscious. Just by staring into his warm chocolate eyes, in that moment I could see that happening to me.
Chapter 6
Sabrina
When the music ended, Luca released me before taking my hand and leading me back to the bar. There was something super sexy in the way he took control while remaining an absolute gentleman at the same time.
It had been over a year since I’d been intimate. Dillon’s deployment schedule and life getting in the way, we weren’t as sexually active as I would’ve liked. Regardless, I hadn’t met a man who I wanted to spend time with, nonetheless date.
Yet, there I was with Luca, and in the short time we’d spent together I could already imagine all sorts of situations with him… some even lewd. Of course, that was my libido talking.
The other part of me, specifically my heart, just craved the company of a man. Someone to spend time with, laugh with, enjoy being with. There was a time I had that with Dillon, but somewhere along the way we lost ourselves. The reasons to why became clearer after his death, once it was too late.
While Luca and I were dancing, the warmth of his large hand wrapped around mine, the hard muscle of his upper arm under my left palm, and his overall presence just made me feel safe. Why that would be something I felt when I barely knew him, I truly had no idea.
One thing I knew for sure, I liked him. The flutters, the giddiness, and the nerves that came with the thought that I had a date with Luca Benedetto were all emotions that were long overdue for me.
Breaking through that awkward phase when two strangers went out wouldn’t be an issue, and neither would breaking the news that I had a son. I could count the number of dates I’d been on since Dillon died on one hand. The number of second dates I had after they found out I was a mom could be counted on one finger.
“Hey, guys!” The joy on Becky’s face as we approached spoke volumes. Before I could make the introduction, Becky thrusted her hand toward Luca and said, “I’m Becky, Sabrina’s bestie, and you’re gorgeous.”
A deep chuckle erupted before he accepted her hand and said, “It’s nice to meet you, Sabrina’s bestie with impeccable taste.”
“Holy hell, you have an accent.”
“No, you do,” he teased with a wink. Becky’s eyes widened, and her hand continued to pump Luca’s well past the acceptable amount of time a normal handshake should last. All this occurred while she waggled her eyebrows at me.
Oh Lord.
When she finally released Luca, a fake pout altered her features. “Although I would love to get to know Luca, my Uber is here. I must relieve the babysitter. Not everyone is lucky enough to have parents on standby.”
The pout turned into a grin when her eyes dropped to where Luca still held my hand, something I was also very aware of. As I reached for my bag on the bar, I tried to hide my disappointment. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
I was surprised to see what I felt mirrored on his face. “You need to leave too? I can get you home if you want to stay longer.”
“Of course she’d love to stay.” Becky kissed my cheek, patted Luca on the shoulder, and with a simple wave left me standing there without giving me a choice.
He took my jacket off the back of the barstool and led me toward his friends. The nerves I felt earlier paled in comparison to what was happening inside my stomach now. With each step my heart rate spiked, and I was grateful Cassie was there to play as a buffer.
Each of their faces were just as stunning as the next. All seven of them could pose for a magazine or walk a runway, Luca included.
“Hi, Sabrina.” Cassie stood up. “So glad you’re joining us.”
“Hi, Cassie. It’s good to see you.” I gave her a quick hug. Luca pulled an unused chair from the table next to ours and held it out for me. I forced a swallow and sat down. The other women regarded me with fascination, and my nerves tripled.
“Sabrina,” Luca said with a smile. “These are my friends.” He started pointing to each one as he said their names. “That’s Jude and he’s married to the beauty sitting next to him, Brae.” She gave me an enthusiastic wave. “Then that clown is Kyle, his girlfriend, Vanessa, that’s Desiree who just got a promotion and is moving to London, and you know Cassie.”
I prayed I’d remember their names. “Hi everyone, thank you for letting me join you.” Focusing on Desiree, I said, “Congratulations on your promotion. London is lovely.”
“Thank you. You’ve been there?”
“Yes, my husband was deployed in Europe when we were first married, and we traveled to various countries.”
The elation vanished. No one said a word. Shit. Once I yanked my foot out of my mouth, I blurted out, “I’m not married. He’s dead now.” My stupid comment was met with wide-eyed silent stares. Brae, the married one, grabbed onto her husband’s arm with her mouth hanging open.
For the love, Sabrina!
“I mean, I didn’t kill him,” I added with a nervous giggle. “He passed away a little over a year ago.” During the three or one hundred seconds of silence, since I really couldn’t tell how much time had passed, I chanted—stop talking, stop talking, over and over in my head.
Luckily, Luca chimed in. “Um… Sabrina has the cutest little boy. Cassie is his teacher. Actually, that’s how we met. First, he got finger paint all over my pants, and then at the park he kicked a soccer ball and hit me square between the eyes.” He draped his arm across the back of my chair. It felt comforting, although I was still appalled at my rambling.
“It was hilarious. The first encounter you could see the imprint of Mikey’s hands framing his family jewels, and then encounter number two, you could see the imprint from the ball on Luca’s forehead. His eyes crossed at impact.” Cassie started laughing, and everyone followed suit.
“That ball was aimed for your head, so you’re welcome. The kid has quite a kick,” Luca explained.
As his friends all ribbed him over being schooled by a five-year old, I thanked God the tension was broken. Internally, I still felt like a fool. These people didn’t know me or my story, just Becky and my family did. The conversation compelled me to want to explain everything to Luca.
Luca
Sabrina’s nervousness while hanging out at Dispatch was obvious. But when it continued even after we left, and during the drive to her apartment, I tried to help her relax.
In the short time I’d known her, I already recognized when she was caught up in her own thoughts. As quickly as she drifted off, she could come back into the moment from a simple comment or question.
By telling her tales of my college days with Jude and Kyle, by the time we pulled up to her place the shield she hid behind was nowhere to be found. Her carefree laughter echoed in the car, the sound of it warming me in a way I wasn’t familiar with.
Double parking in front of her building, I turned to her and said, “So, I’ll see you tomorrow morning then?” She fiddled with the strap of her bag, her lips parting and poised to speak, yet no words came out. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Um… would you like to come in for some coffee, or something?” The invite contradicted the tension on her face. I didn’t want her to feel obligated in any way, and before I could decline she added, “I’d like to chat a bit.”
“Sure. Let me find a spot.” She nodded before I circled the block in search of an available parking space. A few minutes later, I found one a block or so away. As I trotted over to her side of the car to open her door, she was already standing on the curb waiting for me.
“This is a great area,” I said as we walked the short distance to her apartment.
“We like it here. Mikey has made some awesome friends in the building. My work is close by, as is his school.”
“What do you do, Sabrina?”
“I’m a hairdresser. I rent space in Becky’s salon. She’s been such a h
elp in letting me set my own hours,” she said with a smile. “You have great hair, by the way. The day we met I had to fight the urge to touch it.”
I laughed at her candor, bending a bit to bring my head closer. “Feel free.”
She stopped walking and met my amused smile with one of her own. Without hesitation, I watched her reach up and run her fingers through my hair. The feel of her touch sent a jolt through me. “Just as I imagined, like silk.”
Between her touch and the way her eyes held mine, ignited a fire within me. Our chests rose and fell in sync. Sabrina was just as affected as I was. When she lowered her hand, I immediately missed the physical contact.
“I can’t take all the credit. Kyle makes a kick-ass shampoo that I’ve been using for years.”
“Kyle makes it?”
I nodded at the shock in her tone before taking her hand in mine.
“Yes, he’s a chemist. He creates fragrances and hair products for men and women. He’s a genius when it comes to that stuff, but a fuck-up with everything else in his life… except for Vanessa. He managed to get that right.”
She smiled. “They seem like a great couple.”
“They are a great team. Vanessa works with him now. She’s got quite the knack.”
“I’ll tell Becky. She might want to carry his product line in her salon.”
“He can set her up with inventory.”
“By the way, I enjoyed hanging out with your friends. They seem like great people.”
“Two are mine, as I mentioned they are my best friends since our days at Yale. The girls I inherited.” A sweet giggle erupted as I continued. “Jude met Brae because of Kyle’s practical joke, signing him up for a dating experiment.”
“Nooo,” she said on a gasp.
“Yes,” I mimicked her tone. “Jude wanted to kill him. He had to spend six weeks on a remote beach getting to know Brae. He left me in charge of his company as they frolicked in the Caribbean while falling in love.”
“Oh my God, that’s so romantic.” Her free hand covered her heart.
The light breeze lifted the glossy strands of her trendy haircut, revealing the smooth skin of her neck. She wore little makeup, which was such a refreshing change to most of the women I met. She truly was beautiful. A natural beauty was hard to come by in this city.
Remembering her statement, I responded, “Yeah, especially for the man who didn’t have a romantic bone in his body.”
“And the others? How did you meet them?”
“The four girls were all friends. Once Jude and Brae got together, and Kyle and Vanessa started their thing, we became a dysfunctional family of sorts. Cassie and I were left to fend for ourselves while Desiree worked her ass off as an attorney. And the rest you know.”
“You guys complement each other perfectly.”
I chuckled at her observation. “Not sure about that, but even when we want to kill each other, we still have each other’s backs. I’d do anything for those guys.”
“There’s no doubt in my mind. I know we just met, but I can tell you’re a genuine person.”
Her words warmed me in an unexpected way. I hadn’t realized I continued to stare until she dropped her gaze and blushed. The combination of her attractiveness and shy demeanor made Sabrina very desirable to me. Add in the fact she was a mother, and no woman I’d been with had ever been sexier. If we didn’t start walking soon, I was going to toss her over my shoulder, carry her into her bedroom, and our cup of coffee would turn into breakfast.
She lived on the second floor of a walk-up. Once we reached her door, she unlocked it, gave me a smile that would melt ice on the coldest winter day, and headed inside.
I followed in as she flipped on some lights before tossing her bag onto a side table. The apartment was small, but neat. You walked directly into a living room with a small kitchen to the right. Mikey’s toys were organized on bookcases that lined the wall of windows.
Motioning toward them, I asked, “He likes trucks, I see?”
“Loves them. Actually, anything with wheels. His room is decorated in a race car theme. He’s either going to be a mechanic, or a Nascar driver. Here, let me take your jacket.” I removed it, handing it to her. Sabrina then motioned toward a navy couch that faced a modest television. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll make us some coffee.”
She retreated into the kitchen, the sound of cabinets opening and water running filtered out to where I sat on the couch. A click sounded before a voice recording of Mikey said, “Mahmmm! You packed the wrong hat. I wanted my Ranger one. I can’t watch the game with Pop Pop wearing the wrong hat.” The message abruptly ended, and Sabrina’s heavy sigh caused me to chuckle.
The dynamics between mother and son were so real, honest. I knew when we met their bond was strong, and now knowing what they endured made it even more profound.
In the apartment, Mikey and Sabrina’s personalities shown through and meshed in the perfect balance. Wooden furniture held smiling photos of the pair, a few of them with others who must have been important in their lives. A picture of a tropical sunset hung on one wall; beside it two smaller framed crayoned drawings of the same scenary.
One photo propped on an end table was of a uniformed man holding Mikey as a toddler while Sabrina stood behind them smiling. Intrigued, I lifted it and stared at the family. Questions such as how long had they been married, where had they met, why didn’t they have other children—all floated in my mind.
Sabrina walked in holding a tray with two steaming mugs of coffee, a container of creamer, and sweeteners. “I don’t know how you take it,” she said, stopping when she saw the photo in my hand.
“Mikey looks a lot like his father.”
“Spitting image. If I hadn’t delivered him, I’d doubt he was mine. Same stubborn streak, too.” A small smile played on her lips when she sat beside me, placing the tray on the coffee table. “That was Mikey’s second birthday. Dillon had just gotten back that day from being deployed in the Middle East, surprising us all.”
“He was a Marine?” I asked the obvious.
“Yes. He followed in his father’s and his grandfather’s footsteps.” She lifted the cream in a silent question.
“Yes, just a drop please. No sugar.” As she prepped my coffee, I placed the photo back on the table and took the mug from her hand. “Is that how he died?”
“No. He was killed in a car accident.” My shocked expression forced a short nod. “I know. Ironic, right? Every time he left me, I had to prepare for the worst and hope he came back. Once he did, and we were ready to move past his career choice into a safer more stable one, the unthinkable happened.”
I stretched a hand toward hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m so sorry, Sabrina.”
She shrugged with a small smile. “Thank you. Things happen for a reason, I guess.” The tone in her voice was off, strained. I didn’t want to push her into telling me more, and prepared to change the subject when she added, “I do love being back in New York City. So, there’s that.”
“Back?”
“I’m originally from Manhattan. Dillon and I moved upstate to his hometown before we married. His entire family lives there, small town, very Mayberry like. He felt it’d be a better place to raise a family.”
“That must have been hard on you, leaving your family.”
“That was very hard. But, with time I made friends, and his family welcomed me like one of their own.”
“Do you still visit often?”
“No.” She sipped her coffee and remained silent.
Assuming their relationship was strained after their son died, I offered my two cents. “People grieve differently.”
“Does that include denial? That’s not rhetorical.”
“I guess. They haven’t been able to accept he’s gone?”
“Or that he was a lying cheat.” I spit my coffee out at her nonchalant comment. “Sorry,” she said with a smirk, grabbing a napkin to help me clean up the embarrassing dribb
le on my chin. “I have to refrain from showing my real feelings so much around Mikey. When he isn’t here, my bitterness shines through.”
The lines on her face revealed what she must have gone through. I wasn’t going to steer this conversation, and waited to see if she’d continue or not.
Sabrina needed to get something off her chest, and her next comment made that clear. “His mistress showed up at the funeral. Such a display, making her grand entrance in her black dress with tears streaming down her face while sporting a nice baby bump. One for the memory books. I guess him not wanting more children only meant not wanting them with me.”
A vortex of anger toward him, and sadness for her and Mikey consumed me. It took a few long moments for me to speak. “How did you know who she was?”
“She was very forthcoming with her information. Of course, I didn’t believe her. This was my honorable husband she claimed loved her. When I told her as much, she showed me pictures that spanned back two years. I know that because in one of the pictures, Dillon’s most recent tattoo wasn’t on his arm.”
The more she revealed, the angrier I became. I set my mug down and regarded his picture. The respect I felt, for the man I assumed he was, vanished in a blink of an eye. How could he do that to such a genuine woman and his son?
“How ironic that at my husband’s funeral my mourning both began and ended that day.” Her gaze focused on the picture for a few seconds. “She had a boy. That’s all I know. Have no clue what his name is, or who’s helping her. I don’t want to know. I made my in-laws swear they’d never tell Mikey, otherwise I’d share what a wonderful man his father was. My mother-in-law hated my ultimatum, arguing Mikey should know he has a sibling. Dillon could do no wrong in her eyes, and somehow him cheating was my fault.”
“Are you serious?”
“Completely,” she said with a shrug. “Whatever, it’s her issue, not mine. One day I’ll tell Mikey, but not until he’s much older and can understand the situation. Not a day sooner.”